Defusing by Removing

Negativity is like a virus. Spreading, invading, permeating, controlling, manipulating and killing peace, contentment and stillness.

There are moments in our lives where we must choose to walk the path of negativity, strife, anger and hate or walk away, even if it’s from someone we care for and love. These aren’t easy choices and it isn’t necessarily a permanent departure but separation is a must.

Each of us have those in our life who are bitter, spiteful, malevolent people. They criticize, demean, hurl insults and can fill a room with enough emotional turmoil we either choose to enter into combat or retreat  to remain, regain, stillness and centeredness. It may bother us to make this choice, we may desire another way, but sometimes it’s our only option.

As much as we may want to help these rancorous ones make the connection between their malignant attitudes and a life littered with strained and broken relationships it doesn’t work. We know because we’ve tried. We still love them but sometimes we just can’t be near them.

Militant, hostile, antagonistic personalities take hostages, tries to make you a prisoner of the moment. You want to return fire with insults of your own, get even, pay back their vindictiveness with derision but, ultimately, no one wins these pitched battles because criticism, pessimism, nihilism, can’t be quenched or defeated. You can only keep it from detonating your spirit by removing the fuse, putting distance between yourself and the other.

I’ve had encounters with negative, spiteful people where my jaw hurts from clenching it shut. Being silent in the face of insult and ridicule can have a tremendous impact. It may take hours, days, to find balance and peace after a run in with someone hell-bent on bringing chaos into the lives of others.

Run ins with argumentative, belligerent folks will drain you, wear on you, and it’s easy to get sucked in to an uncivil, acrimonious, atmosphere that will scorch your spirit and burn out your emotions.

Wisdom helps guide us in discovering if we can defuse or extinguish the toxicity through acts of love, words of calmness or simply knowing when to remove ourselves from the poisonous environment.



About is a place for sojourners walking this spiritual path called life. - Essentialist, contemplative, author, advocate, old soul

Posted on June 22, 2014, in Mindfulness and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Excellent post. I have been gong through a season where God has been prompting me to move away from those who have anything in mind other the lifting me up. It only takes one dream killer to infuse us with a negative wave in our lives – and its really hard to move up with someone yanking at your ankles while you are trying to press upward. Great reminder!


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