Gap of Suffering
A friend asked me today why we suffer so much at the hands of those we love. When I asked him to clarify he said; “When we need others to love us more, listen more, help us more and yet they always seem to fall short of what we’re desperately seeking.”
I understood what he was asking but I gently told him that he needed to ask a different question. “Why do you continue craving what another cannot, or will not, give?”
Wisdom tells us that mental and emotional suffering comes from the gap between what we desire and what is reality. Too often we want other people, situations, life, to meet our expectations. When this fails to happen, and it always does, we suffer pain, rejection, dismay and disappointment. We want our loved ones to be more supportive, our jobs to be more fulfilling, our purposes to be clearer and when these desires aren’t met we blame the other, whoever or whatever that may be.
True acceptance comes from receiving what life offers and being at peace with it. It is to cease demanding others rise to meet our dictates and loving them for who they are and what they can presently give. It is to stop fighting, grasping for what is not available and allow the blessings of now to rest upon our open hands before slipping through our fingers.
When life is spent trying to reach across the gap for that which is not attainable eventually we lose our balance and fall into suffering and despair.