Category Archives: Life

Not so Fast

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Not so Fast

Today, after a busy week indoors, I was looking forward to a day doing yard work outside. A good way to tell you’ve been inside too much is anticipating mowing grass and trimming. I ate my breakfast waited for the sun to begin to shine and then headed outdoors. Unfortunately, it was at that time the skies opened up and it began to rain. It wasn’t a sprinkle but a downpour that soaked the grass and the ground enough that I’d have to wait until tomorrow to try again.

One of my first thoughts this morning was; “It’s only Friday.” Most weeks Friday is a happy day or at least one of relief. However, this has been a long week and to know it wasn’t quite over yet was disconcerting. I sat on the couch and listened to the rain bounce off the tin roof on the porch. It is a beautiful sound. I felt myself relax and remember; “all shall be well.” It didn’t take long to realize a day of ease would do me good even if it was forced upon me.

Life for all of its chaos can also be the reason we stop, breathe, listen, sense, the miracle of life and doing nothing.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Hangover

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Hangover

Today I am feeling the impact of three intensive days of training. My body hurts and my mind hurts. My eyes are tired from staring at a screen for too long. I have both a migraine and fuzzy brain. It’s hard to process new information today because of receiving so much from earlier in the week.  The data and detail are still bouncing around in my noggin and hasn’t found a place to settle. New thoughts and ideas are like puffs of smoke that never quite become solid enough to grasp. A couple of days of quiet and rest should do the trick but until then giving it my all will be less than.

Growing in our learning, understanding, and wisdom takes a toll. Its tough work which may be why we are hesitant to do it at times. Immersing ourselves in new thoughts, ideas, studies, to become more capable in our personal, relational, connections and jobs takes commitment and courage. Commitment because growth is effort and energy. Courage because when we dare to learn, understand gain wisdom, we change and we’re never sure who will be on the other side.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Digging Around

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Digging Around

This week I had to take three days of classes to qualify as a Certified car seat Technician. Part of the assessments required the students to install, uninstall, spot problems with seats installed by others and know which need to be replaced. It was three long days full of information and statistics.

One of the difficult tasks is sticking your fingers in places you can’t see when you’re searching for tethers, anchors and seat belt clips jammed in between the seats. Not every car is as clean as one would like and you never know what you might find when you’re digging around.

Last week, during therapy, my “talk doctor” told me we’d begin digging deeper in the coming months. We had reached a plateau and now it was time to turn over some fresh dirt. I agreed with her that it was time and needed. I’m not necessarily looking forward to the mental, emotional and spiritual energy required but I also know if you don’t look closer, feel around, poke harder, dig deeper there’s a chance you won’t find what you’re looking for.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Bait and Hook

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Bait and Hook

This morning I was zipping through emails before heading to the office for a training. I had three from our IT department and opened each of them giving a cursory read. One was an update to a system, another was reminding me of a piece of equipment I needed to pick up and the third was dealing with switching to a new email system. Each one looked legit and I told myself to get set up on the new email system next time I was near my computer. I finished, went to work and as I sat in my chair waiting for the training to start I received a new email another one from IT. The email stated firmly “do not click on the link to the new email system! This is a phishing and spam scam!” “Whew!’ I thought to myself, ‘that was close!'” I was going to click on the link, would have clicked on it if I had the time this morning. I’m usually good at spotting bad emails but because this one was in a collection of legitimate emails I assumed it was fine.

In life, as in IT, we have to be careful not to let everything come together as one big pile of things we need to do. If we do we run the risk of missing something important, doing something harmful, and allowing life to be the sum of its parts instead of each moment being an eternity in itself. Life is hard and there’s so many things we think we need to do. Wisdom teaches us to let go a lot of the minutiae, the things which aren’t really important, and to focus on what counts. When we are able to take life a breath at a time we find love, kindness, presence more easily and things which are harmful to us and those we love more visible and avoidable.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Anchors

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Anchors

Today I participated in a class which is teaching those attending about the importance of car seats. It is an in-depth look at this important safety product. One wouldn’t think there’s a lot to know about car seats and how to put them in correctly but one would be wrong. My brain was frazzled with terms, mechanical processes and the different laws and rules. One of the things I learned is that there are hidden latches and anchors on many vehicles which car seats are to be attached to for them to be as safe and secure as possible. Even if you can’t see the anchors there are symbols and signs to alert you of their presence.

After the class dismissed today I began reflecting on the “anchors” in our lives. Often when life turns upside down, runs into trouble, leaves us stranded and lost we can feel discombobulated and adrift in unfamiliar places. In these moments and seasons, we need people and truths upon which we can anchor our life. This wisdom, family, and friends keep us grounded, help us remember what’s important and not forget that which makes life worth living.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

What We Leave Behind

What We Leave Behind

YouTube can be infuriating with the number of commercials and advertisements it has between videos. Every now and then though there will be one that gets its hooks into your brain. This song played several times today while I was mowing the grass and when I finished I came in and looked it up (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0czMhagZgwY). It’s a simple video of a man going to the beach and jumping off a high cliff into the ocean below. He then crosses it off a list of things he wants to do.

There is a note at the beginning of the song. It’s hard to read but it says:

Dear Friends, My name is Fred Rister. For those who don’t know me, I have had cancer 9 times in 30 years. The one I am fighting this time around will be the last since I know for sure; my days are numbered. I have decided to release a song called, “I Want a Miracle” in which all proceeds will go to the Kidney Cancer Association, with whom my physician, Dr. Escudier, from the Gustave Roussy Institute is affiliated. This project is very important to me because it is a bit of hope for all those fighting cancer. Whether you donate directly or download/stream the song your support is immensely appreciated.
This is: “I Want a Miracle” “Music is therapy” #FredRister

The note made me pause and feel his pain, heartache, kindness and giving spirit. He’s dying of cancer. It is the ninth time he’s faced this dreaded disease in thirty years. He knows his days are numbered and instead of blaming, sulking, being too frightened to do anything he wrote a song to be shared and a hope to be kindled.

In this world where everything seems terrible someone using their last days to touch and help others is a wanted and needed gesture that we all could follow. Whether we know it or not our days are limited. What we do with every moment can have an impact on those who follow. Our lives should be spent making each moment count instead of counting down our moments until the end.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannebsaint.com

The Source

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The Source

Yesterday I wrote about a foul odor that was emanating from my workshop. (https://thewannabesaint.com/2018/06/13/somthing-stinketh/) Today I found the source of the stench. I was looking in the workshop and noticed an odd-looking rope sticking out from under a roll of landscaping fence.  However, upon closer inspection, it wasn’t a piece of rope but about three and a half feet of a five-foot king snake. It must’ve thought it was a great place to nest and began working, wiggling, wrestling his way into it only to get stuck and have no way to back out. The snake had to have been there for days if not weeks. I will spare you the smell and how the lifeless body of the reptile looked. I drug the fencing and the snake outside to give the odor some time to dissipate before I cut around and remove the decaying body.

Being stuck is not what we’d choose and there are times we get into places we can’t get out of ourselves. For those of us blessed to have others who’d help and we should count our blessings. I sat in a meeting today where a once homeless woman spoke about her family being stuck after sickness, financial hardship and employment issues. With thankfulness in her voice, she spoke of a church that took her family in and helped them rebuild their lives.

We are surrounded by people who are caught between an unforgiving rock and a hellish hard place. They need us to see, offer a kind word, a helping hand and a way out if they are to survive.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Something Stinketh

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Something Stinketh

A funny way to start this post, but something near our bathroom stinks! It’s not in the bathroom, or who is in the bathroom, but in the foyer outside of it. Last night would’ve been a good time for my wife to take a picture as I crawled around on all fours trying to figure out where the smell was coming from. We’ve moved furniture, sniffed walls, looked under, around, beside items and cannot find the source of the stench. In the bathroom foyer, there is a door to my workshop and Beth thinks this may be where it’s coming from. When there is an odor you cannot ignore it and it can be hard to do anything else because the smell is distracting. It seems to permeate your nostrils and locating and removing it is the only solution.

Wisdom teaches us about the stench of others’ attitudes, motives, and words. When someone in our lives is the source of the stench there are a few options. We can air out our grievances with the other and see if we can eliminate them. Perhaps we can, after trying other options, remove the “smelly” person or ourselves from the current workspace. If forced, we can find somewhere else to work. Friends with foul attitudes can be confronted and distanced from if needed. Family members are harder but can be done with sensitivity and a willingness to create space between ourselves and someone whose odor infiltrates our lives.

Our time on this planet is too short to be connected to those who refuse to work on their attitude’s aroma. We also want to make sure and do a “smell test” on ourselves and make any adjustments as well.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Graduation

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Graduation

I’ve spent the last few weeks staring at graduation photos of young women and men whom I’ve had the privilege in some way to be a part of their lives. They are graduating from college, earning their masters and doctorates. I am blown away! I have known these “kids” for most of their time on this planet and to watch them succeed and exceed my wildest dreams is a testament to the wonderful people they are and to parents, mentors, teachers, and guides as they’ve walked the road of life.

I often hear only negatives about this new generation. They’re weak, spoiled, “snowflakes” and I don’t see it. The ones I know would rather lead with their hearts than with their mouths (a problem I notice in the 40 years and older crowd a lot!) They don’t believe because you say so. They want to see it lived before they make up their minds. They are incredibly smart and committed. They know how to spot a fake and people “going through the motions.” This is why church attendance for this group is dwindling but are still spiritually seeking. They aren’t afraid to challenge the norm, call a bluff, or stand up and resist the many wrongs in our world.

Is this group perfect? No. Can they turn around a dying planet consumed by greed and consumption? Maybe. What can we older ones do? We can support them or at least get out of the way and let them try.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Everywhere

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Everywhere

This morning, sitting in church with my arm around my wife, I felt her stiffen up and begin looking nervous. I bent my head to her ear and asked; “What’s wrong?” “Wasp!” was her reply. I looked at the window behind us and there was the feared insect. My wife is allergic to any kind of sting and we did not have her Epi-pen. We hoped it would stay there and turned our attention back to the preacher. A few moments later the insect flew between us and landed on the top of a pew about 10 feet away. The woman sitting in front of us and directly behind the wasp saw it, took out a hymnal, and; “Whack!” No more bug, no more danger. We both breathed a sigh of relief.

Reflecting on the wasp’s last flight I am reminded that no matter the place or the time there is always and everywhere a danger lurking. Maybe it’s a sense of unworthiness, a reminder of a loved one gone too soon, a habit, a hurt, a hangup. We must be aware and empowered realizing we are not helpless. There is a difference between living life scared and living it vigilantly. Freedom comes from knowing your enemy not from having no enemies. The difference makes all the difference.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Other People’s Drama

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Other People’s Drama

At one time during my adult years, I came across a quote that read; “An emergency on your part does not constitute a crisis on mine.” I don’t remember where it was but the quote has stuck with me.

There can be an almost irresistible draw when someone has a juicy piece of gossip or wants your opinion about a situation they’re facing. Before you offer your “two-cents” remember that once you pass through that door, enter yourself into other people’s drama, it may be impossible to get out. A couple of weeks ago I had a friend who was starting through the drama door and I reminded them; “make sure its worth it.”

The main issue with other people’s drama is there’s often a side to take, a team to join. This is usually the reason a person tells you about issues and problems in the first place. They want you in their corner. We puff ourselves up thinking; “They need our help. Our advice. Our support.” However, what they mostly want is someone to affirm them in the decisions they’ve already made.

I’m not telling people to not listen, empathize with others who need help, a willing ear or even a hand to pull them up but to understand that sometimes what people want and need are completely different things. Be aware and wary.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Attitude?

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Attitude?

I was part of a conversation today where someone suggested another person, not present, had “an attitude.” It was news to me. I’ve had several encounters with this person and never picked up anything other than pleasantness. I’m also the first person to admit that I’m not the best at noticing.

When I was interviewing for a position in the mid-2000’s I felt like everything went well but Beth had a “feeling” about one of the members of the group who were in charge of filling the position. Sure enough, though I accepted the position, this person was a thorn in the staff’s side during my brief tenure.

I believe in looking for the best in the people I know, meet, work and live with but also old enough to know not everyone gets along, like each other, has compatible personalities. There are people you’d stop and help change a tire but wouldn’t go on vacation with or spend extra time with unless its necessary. I don’t think this has to be a negative trait but a truth we should respect and recognize in each other and ourselves.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Hope for the Future

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Hope for the Future

There’s nothing like opening a box full of stuff to get people’s attention. This morning I was at the office early because I had several boxes of children’s books to sort and inventory. We are having reading events for dads and their kids in the next few months and the books for these came in last week. They were colorful with big bold letters and wonderful pictures of dinosaurs, bears, monsters, children with their parents, llamas, and fantastical creatures.

As we inventoried these books I couldn’t help but think back to my childhood and books I read or had read to me. Reading is essential for any child’s long-term success. If you can read you can do almost anything you put your mind to. These books could spark a love of learning in a child’s heart that will benefit them and humanity and that’s awesome.

I also sighed as I thought of many people today who squander the gift of reading and learning, using it to reinforce and fortify their opinions, position on social and religious issues, instead of allowing the written word to open them up to new ideas, the discovery of concepts, notions, theories, and truths never conceived.

Here’s hoping our children are better learning pioneers than those who’ve come before.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Would You like to Dance?

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Would You like to Dance?

At a party at a friend’s house, one woman sat alone on the couch, her crutches beside her, watching the others dance. From across the room a man made his way to her, sat down, introduced himself and they made small talk. After a while, he asked; “Would you like to dance?” She pointed to her crutches and sighed; “Most people are worried my crutches will get in the way of their dancing.” He smiled and replied; “How about if I let you lead and I’ll move with you?

This story was told to me a few weeks ago. I have been reflecting on it since I heard it. Most people are injured in some way; physically, emotionally or spiritually. We have crutches, not in a negative way, but in the sense that we need help to heal. However, too often, because of our hurts, habits, and hang-ups or the aids we use to walk this road of life we’re seen as a hindrance. People focus on how another’s imperfections will impact their lives.

What we need is someone who will let us lead or, if we’re the one helping, let the other lead us. We relinquish our desire to control, force someone to do it “our way” and by letting go we will find synergy and companionship.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Still Growing

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Still Growing

Today I was finally able to mow our grass. We’ve had needed rain this week and the yard dried out enough that I could cut it. It had been eight days since I the last mow but the height and thickness of the grass made it seem longer.  As I drove around the yard on my riding mower I was reminded that even during the rain and storms the grass was growing. I often forget when the storm clouds are present, the lightning flashes and the skies open up and the rain comes down the grass doesn’t wait for it to stop.

Wisdom teaches us that even in the stormiest seasons of our lives growth, depth, understanding is possible. We are busy trying to make it through the storm we don’t recognize our strength, maturity, awareness, humility has grown in proportion as well.

Never mistake the storm as a reason for stopping. We are still growing.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Spoiler Free

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Spoiler Free

I spoiled a television show for someone. I didn’t mean to. We were listing what shows we liked and followed and she mentioned one in particular. I told her it was a good show and the way she talked about the episodes and the people and certain situations I thought she was on season two when in fact she was still working her way through the first season. I said; “Can you believe he killed that guy?” and all I received in return was a blank stare. My stomach dropped and I knew what I had done and there was no way out of it. “I am so sorry. I thought, from the way you were talking, you knew this! Again, I am so sorry!” She said it was; “okay” but I know from having television or streaming shows and movies spoiled for me it just isn’t the same when something shocking happens and you know its coming.

I was talking with another parent a couple of weeks ago about children. We agreed that life is anything but a spoiler. Twins, raised in the same way, can turn out completely different. Situations, events happen to one group of people and they all react differently. We are in every way a unique creation never to be repeated. Yet, at times, we give out advice like we know what’s going to happen. A person comes to us with a problem and instead of listening and simply being present we say; “Oh! That’s happened to me. Here’s what you should do.” We think, speak and act as if we have the answers to a problem we’ve never encountered before.

Wisdom teaches us to be careful with advice and to respect the one of a kind journey we all travel together.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

By Surprise

By Surprise

On my way home from Nashville today I was passed by a Mustang convertible. The top was down and the man and woman in the car seemed to be having a carefree drive enjoying the sunshine and summer breeze. Then, out of nowhere, the clouds blocked out the sun and the bright day turned dark. The dark gray clouds opened up and a torrential downpour started. People started slowing down because even with the windshield wipers on high it was difficult to see the road. The people in the Mustang began looking for a place to pull over to the side of the road to put the top back in place so they would no longer be pelted by the rain.

As they struggled to find protection I reflected on the truth that sometimes storms come and we’re not prepared. They surprise us because everything seemed to be going great. We’re enjoying the road of life and all of a sudden; panic, frustration, trauma. We’re left with a mess trying to figure out; “What happened?”

Life is full of surprises. Whether we’re ready or not, here they come.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

In Memory of

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In Memory of

This is a strange holiday for me. It’s not strange in the sense that I don’t understand it or think it necessary but strange because I did not serve in the armed services nor lost a loved one while in military service. I don’t know what it’s like to charge up a hill with my unit, share foxholes with people who I depend on for my life, find the courage to carry out orders that put my life and others in danger and know not everyone is coming back from the mission. I don’t know what it is to get a knock on my door, a phone call, by servicemen or women to inform me a loved is not returning home. I can’t imagine the pain, heartache, loss, or pride that comes with Memorial Day.

I once served on a staff with a war veteran and we liked to talk politics, history, and war. He had seen action in the military while I sat in the safety of a university classroom. We’d have conversations about the justifications of war. I’d voice my opinion that Christians should follow Jesus’ example and be pacifists, opposed to all violence and then he’d tell me when and why I was wrong. I didn’t agree with everything he said about the military, nation-building, and protection but I was also humbled and silent as he spoke. I understood that he had served, put his life on the line for us to disagree and still be friends, still call ourselves by the same name; Americans.

“The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”
#AbrahamLincoln #GettysburgAdress

Blessings & Thank you,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Reboot

Reboot

This afternoon I read an article about a new, vicious malware bug that’s infecting many computers. (Read Article Here: FBI to America: Reboot Your Routers, Right Now https://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/security/a20918611/vpnfilter-malware-reboot-router/) The Federal Bureau of Investigation released a memo telling home owners, companies and anyone else to do one simple thing, turn your router off and then back on again. A sophisticated designed piece of software but an easy way to shut it down.

I reflected on this effective, yet simple, way to fix this problem and wondered what would happen if we practiced this discipline in other aspects of our lives. People arguing? Shut it down and come back when cooler heads prevail. Stuck and can get no further on a project? Leave it and then come back when your brain’s had a breather. Helping someone who refuses to let you do so? Stop and give it time. Perhaps when you come back new ears and new understanding will greet you. A big decision got you stumped? Walk away and seek the advice of others.

Wisdom is easier if we cease trying to force it simply allow it to be absorbed.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Project: Never Ending

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Project: Never Ending

Today my wife and I hung the screen doors on our “never-ending project” we also call the porch. The doors made it look more completed and the end is in sight! However, we’ve said that before and then life gets in the way. Too many things to mention are more important than the project and we’ve set it aside several times to go and help others or have accepted the help of others during the past couple of years. When we finished hanging them we stepped back to the driveway and admired our work. Not perfect but not bad.

Wisdom teaches us that our lives may be never-ending projects but not in the same way as the porch. Those looking for truth accept that we will never stop learning, growing, if wisdom is what we seek. There will be breaks in between. Times when we need to accept our place on the path and rest. Other seasons where we focus our energies elsewhere by helping our family, neighbors, community, nation, and the world.

Finding balance is the key to grow, not at the expense of others, but with them.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Casting

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Casting

Recently Beth and I went out-of-town. Before we left I gave Trooper, our Siberian Husky, a bath. He needed one after a long winter and he wasn’t smelling his best. Huskies and their underfur can be tricky to manage. There’s a lot of brushing and picking year round but it is recommended they only get bathed two or three times a year so as not to damage their underfur. The undercoat is a great protection from the weather, regulates their body temperature and deters fleas and ticks.

The bath I gave him a few weeks ago kick-started his seasonal casting. This is a process when a new undercoat pushes out their old one. As a result, he’s been biting, scratching, clawing and using our fingers as a way to remove it. He also likes to go outside and lay down on his back and move back and forth trying to scratch where it itches, which is everywhere! The best kindness we can give him is brushing him vigorously and do out best to get rid of the old fur.

Wisdom tells us that we have to shed the old to make room for the new. What once protected us, regulated us, helped us through seasons of life must be pushed out, let go, removed so that what’s new and better can replace it. It’s not easy but its necessary.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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