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Soul Alive

Soul Alive –

Outside, under our two sheds and front porch are families of rabbits. I see them when I let out the dog, who’s too old to chase them anymore, when I drive the truck into the driveway, when I sit still long enough and wait for them to emerge from their hiding holes. It excites me. Wildlife has always had this impact on me. I slow down to look at deer on the sides of the highway or in far-off fields. Stare at Falcons and Hawks perched on fence posts or electric poles. Turkeys, skunks, opossum, armadillos, foxes, even cows grab my attention.

I grew up in the suburbs but my parents took us to National Parks as often as the could. We loved camping, canoeing, hiking, exploring. We saw lots of wildlife and even had a few run-ins with Black Bears. I believe this is where my love of nature was born and raised along with the important lessons of treating it gently, basking in its beauty and always leaving a place better than you found it.

Nature, along with other gifts we take for granted each day, bring life to my soul. I can’t imagine not being excited, filled with joy, while experiencing it.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

How Could He?

Apr 9

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

How Could He?

Here is Tennessee and even across America, there is a question that is on many people’s mind; “Why did the father of a five-year-old Autistic boy beat his son to death and then hide his body? How could this father then claim the boy had wandered off and allowed law enforcement officials, volunteers, and others to search areas near his home for three days thinking the boy was alive?” (http://fox17.com/news/local/dad-beat-son-joe-clyde-daniels-to-death-hid-his-body-in-remote-area-affidavit) Its horrible, vile, evil, confusing, and no matter the answers they will not satisfy a grieving family and community.

The next two days I will be training to be a trainer in Adverse Childhood Experiences. According to “SAMSHA (Substance Abuse Mental Health Agency) describes “Adverse childhood experiences or (ACEs)” as stressful or traumatic events, including abuse and neglect. They may also include household dysfunction such as witnessing domestic violence or growing up with family members who have substance use disorders. ACEs are strongly related to the development and prevalence of a wide range of health problems throughout a person’s lifespan, including those associated with substance misuse. ACEs include: Physical abuse, Sexual abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical neglect, Emotional neglect, Intimate partner violence, Mother treated violently, Substance misuse within a household, Household mental illness, Parental separation or divorce, Incarcerated household member.”(https://www.samhsa.gov/capt/practicing-effective-prevention/prevention-behavioral-health/adverse-childhood-experiences)

Put simply; what happens to one when growing up impacts that individual’s behavior, physical and mental health as adults. It changes the question from; “Why or How could you?’ to ‘What happened to you?” The difference is all the difference. It allows for context and the ability to understand, not approve, why a person would do something incredibly harmful to others or to themselves by researching their backgrounds, cultural, community, familial and social environments.

It will be a challenging and difficult two days especially in light of the tragedy that unfolded over the past week. However, only when our emotional and intellectual biases are confronted can we move beyond them to greater wisdom and knowledge.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mental Health

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Tags: ##witnessing, #ability, #abuse, #ACES, #adults, #Adverse, #AdverseChildhoodExperiences. #SAMSHA, #alive, #allowed, #allows, #answers, #approve, #associated, #Autistic, #backgrounds, #beat, #behavior, #beyond, #biases, #blessings, #body, #challenging, #changes, #childhood, #claim, #confronted, #confusing, #context, #cultural, #death, #development, #difference, #difficult, #divorce, #domestic, #dysfunction, #emotional, #Emotionalabuse, #Emotionalneglect, #environments, #evil, #experiences, #familial, #familymembers, #five-year-old, #greater, #grieving, #Growingup, #happens, #harmful, #healthproblems, #hide, #horrible, #household, #Householdmentalillness, #HowCouldHe, #impacts, #incarcerated, #include, #incredibly, #individuals, #intellectual, #Intimatepartnerviolence, #knowledge, #lawenforcement, #lifespan, #light, #mental, #mother, #move, #neglect\, #officials, #Parentalseparation, #persons, #physical, #Physicalabuse, #Physicalneglect, #prevalence, #question, #related, #researching, #satisfy, #search, #Sexualabuse, #simply, #social, #Stressful, #strongly, #SubstanceAbuseMentalHealthAgency, #substancemisuse, #substanceusedisorders, #thewannabesaint.com, #Tragedy, #trainer, #training, #traumatic, #treated, #understand, #unfolded, #vile, #violence, #violently, #volunteers, #wandered, #Whathappened, #widerange, #wisdom, @BrianLoging, Family, Community, Events, father, Health, Home, Mind

Temporary

Feb 25

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Temporary –

The sun, which shone so brightly the last couple of days filling my spirit and mind with images of spring, is gone today, replaced by gray, gloomy clouds. My wife’s flu bug which bit her last week seems to have been squished and she’s on the mend. The weekend is winding down and soon a new week will start.

I commented to a friend today about a photograph taken about 4 years ago that; “sometimes it seems long ago and other times yesterday.” I think that’s life. When younger I was told; “time moves faster as you get older.” It didn’t make sense to me then but now, on the other side of the hill (midlife), it’s a boulder rolling faster and faster.

The present moment, where we long to continuously dwell, is the one place that brings thankfulness, humility, and acceptance. We are thankful because we are only “grass that whithers, blows away, and its place remembers it no more.” Every moment is precious, even the ones we’d rather not experience. We are humbled by the brevity of ourselves and the things around us. Nothing is permanent which we can touch, see, feel, hear, or taste. “All things are passing away.” By accepting this truth we can choose to consciously, deliberately, live leaving nothing unfinished, and embrace this flash of light we call being alive.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Contemplative, Life

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Tags: #acceptance, #accepting, #alive, #being, #beingalive, #blessings, #blows, #boulder, #brevity, #brightly, #Choose, #commented, #consciously, #continuously, #deliberately, #down, #embrace, #everymoment, #experience, #faster, #feel, #flash, #friend, #hear, #hill, #humbled, #humility, #images, #leave, #life, #light, #long, #longago, #mend, #moves, #new, #nothing, #older, #otherside, #ourselves, #passing, #passingaway, #permanent, #precious, #present, #presentmoment, #rather, #remembers, #replaced, #rolling, #see, #seems, #sense, #spirit, #spring, #squished, #start, #sun, #taste, #temporary, #thankful, #thankfulness, #thewannabesaint.com, #think, #times, #touch, #truths, #unfinished, #weekend, #whithers, #winding, #years, #yearsago, #yesterday, #younger, @BrianLoging, dwell, Grass, Mind, moment, World

Home

Dec 1

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for new home

Home –

My friend, role-model, and father passed away early this morning a little after midnight. His fight was over and he was ready. He sat up one last time as if to say, “It’s my time. I’m coming home.”

The house seemed empty today when we returned from all the breathless running around one does after a loved one takes their final breath. Even though he hasn’t been home in a few weeks it seemed he had just left the house. Keys, hats, computers, movies, his chair all still in their proper place. It seems this is still his house, his home. But…it’s not. Sure, there are memories and experiences. A lifetime of highs and lows to relive for the rest of our time on this shadow side of eternity but he has moved and left a forwarding address.

I sit in the quietude with his presence still lingering. I think about all of the rough days he’s had over the last 8 months, the noises of the machines which were keeping him alive. After we received the phone call we drove over to the hospice house to say our; “Goodbyes.” The room was so still. No beeping, whirring, pumping, dripping, nurses checking in. It was motionless and the silence was deafening. My mother began to fill the atmosphere with soft cries, and soft words to her best friend and lover of the last 40 years. My brother and I standing in the background, witnesses to a heart affair which is rare in this world. Finally, after a few more kisses from her on his hands and cheek, we left all thankful we’d never see that room again and that he had moved on to his permanent address.

And now, we are left to carry on. To occupy a house which isn’t home without him. To learn to adjust to a new normal we didn’t choose. To loosen our grip on this world, this place, because we know home is waiting for us on the other side.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life, Mindfulness

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Tags: #address, #adjust, #after, #alive, #atmosphere, #background, #beeping, #bestfriend, #blessings, #breathless, #brother, #carry, #chair, #checkingin, #Choose, #cominghome, #computers, #cries, #days, #deafening, #dripping, #empty, #eternity, #experiences, #fight, #fill, #final, #Finally, #forwarding, #friend, #Goodbyes, #grip, #hats, #heartaffair, #highs, #him, #hospice, #house, #It'smytime, #Keeping, #keys, #last, #learn, #left, #lifetime, #lingering, #loosen, #lovedone, #lover, #lows, #machines, #memories, #midnight, #morning, #mother, #motionless, #moved, #new, #noises, #normal, #now, #nurses, #occupy, #otherside, #passed, #permanent, #place, #presence, #proper, #pumping, #quietude, #rare, #ready, #received, #relive, #rest, #returned, #role-model, #rough, #running, #shadow, #side, #soft, #standing, #still, #stillhishouse, #thankful, #time, #today, #waiting, #whirring, #without, #witnesses, #words, #years, breath, father, Home, Movies, Silence

Turning Loose

Nov 10

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for dead oak leaves

Turning Loose –

Last weekend Beth and I took a trip to see some family in another state. When we left the yard seemed green, the bushes and trees covered with leaves and even a few blossoms dotting the yard. However, when we returned after only a few days things looked very different. The yard had begun to turn brown, the blossoms were gone and the bushes and trees had brown leaves which had begun to fall. In the last week, most of the yard contains the leaves that until recently were holding on. The clocks were turned back last weekend and it seems fall has finally settled in and winter is not far behind.

I don’t like the end of summer. The bright days growing shorter, the green trees and bushes getting bare, the colors becoming a muted brown. However, I also know it is the cycle of life. What is alive and flourishing will diminish and die. The long winter nights remind us of the journey each of us will make at the end of our lives to the other side. There will come a time for all of us when must turn loose of the lives we have and accept the passing of time.

I have spoken this week with a young woman who is getting married next Saturday. She has two young children and loves these symbols of spring and new life. I also connected with someone who is faced with the reality of how quickly life passes.

The cycle of life is ever-moving. We don’t know where we are in the circle but we do know it’s movement, fast or slow, never stops.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: # newlife, #accept, #alive, #children, #circle, #connected, #cycle, #cycleoflife, #die, #diminish, #end, #fast, #flourishing, #journey, #life, #lives, #movement, #neverstops, #otherside, #passes, #passing, #quickly, #reality, #remind, #slow, #spring, #symbols, #time, #turnloose, #young

Disapointment

Nov 1

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for disappointment

Disappointment –

A friend contacted me with some disappointing news today. Nothing life changing but something I wanted to happen but didn’t.

It’s hard not to take disappointment personally, even when it isn’t meant to be. Disappointment has a way of worming itself down into our souls and whisper words of discouragement.

There’s nothing wrong with being disappointed when you have wanted something to, or not to, happen but its imperative that you don’t stay too long. Being in the dark place of disappointment can lead to despair. De·spair dəˈsper/ noun 1. the complete loss or absence of hope. This is where we don’t want to be led by disappointment and discouragement.

It’s okay to be down for a while but sooner rather than later you must let go of both the thing you wanted and the discouragement of not attaining it. This is often much easier said, written, than doing but allowing the spirit to settle, the voices of disappointment to silence, and the realization that you are alive, on the path and disappointments, like everything else, fade when you live presently.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #absence, #alive, #allowing, #attaining, #dark, #despair, #disappointed, #discouragement, #doing, #easier, #fade, #hope, #imperative, #later, #live, #nothing, #path, #place, #presently, #realization, #settle, #sooner, #spirit, #voices, #wanted, #Written, #wrong, Lead, Silence

The Beauty Within

Oct 30

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

The Beauty Within –

Outward beauty is always fading. Whether it be a person, a flower, an animal, a planet or a solar system, all is in flux and degrading. Nothing stays beautiful on the outside forever.

Unfortunately, we are surrounded and bombarded with messages that tell us outward beauty is the goal. Personal attractiveness, luxurious homes, sleek, stylish cars & hairstyles, anything and everything down to how we prepare our food can and should be a masterpiece.

To see inward beauty, the innate goodness in a person or a thing takes time and practice. It is a difficult discipline, as is most of wisdom’s teachings. It is a way of knowing and perceiving that an object, alive or inanimate, is beautiful because of what it is, not what it looks like. It doesn’t ignore outward beauty but realizes this is a passing observance. It seeks a vision that discovers the inward and lasting quality of that which it is beholding.

To see the real not the surreal, the true not the fleeting, the inward beauty that is each present moment and dismiss the shiny, glossed over, trinkets the world proclaims as treasure is to have life, abundantly.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Contemplative

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Tags: #abundantly, #alive, #animal, #attractiveness, #beautiful, #beholding, #blessings, #bombarded, #degrading, #difficult, #discipline, #discovers, #dismiss, #fading, #fleeting, #flower, #flux, #forever, #glossed, #goal, #goodness, #ignore, #inanimate, #innate, #inward, #inwardbeauty, #knowing, #lasting, #luxurious, #masterpiece, #messages, #object, #observance, #outward, #outwardbeauty, #passing, #perceiving, #person, #planet, #practice, #present, #proclaims, #quality, #shiny, #sleek, #solarsystem, #stylish #prepare, #surreal, #surrounded, #teachings, #treasure, #trinkets, #true, #way, #wisdom, beauty, moment, Personal, Vision, World

Lack of Information

Oct 22

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Lack of Information –

The last few weeks I have been dealing with a situation of which I have a limited amount of information. In fact, I’ve had enough information to make one decision or another without knowing how it’s going to work out in the end. It’s a difficult place to be and an even harder place to stay and find peace. It’s nothing life threatening though it could have life-altering consequences.

Situations such as this one can be the source of stress, ruminations and endless supplies of; “What ifs…?” However, I have found myself embracing the moment and repeating a wisdom quote; “If this happens you’re still breathing, still alive, still on the journey of your life. If that happens…same.”

It reminds me of the proverb;

“When confused; chop wood, eat your dinner, sleep.
When enlightened; chop wood, eat your dinner, sleep.”

It’s hard to be in those places of uncertainty as we walk along the path but sometimes it cannot be avoided. So, I place one foot in front of the other and know sooner or later the way will become clear.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Wisdom, Wisdom Quotes

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Tags: #alive, #amount, #avoided, #breathing, #chop, #clear, #confused, #consequences, #dealing, #decision, #difficult, #embracing, #endless, #enlightened, #foot, #front, #happens, #harder, #information, #journey, #life, #life-altering, #limited, #path, #place, #quote, #reminds, #repeating, #ruminations, #situation, #situations, #soonerorlater, #source, #stress, #supplies, #threatening, #uncertainty, #walk, #Whatifs, #wisdom, #wood, moment, Peace, proverb

Spill

Sep 27

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for cup of bran flakes

Spill –

This morning I had an early appointment so fixed my breakfast to go. I like cereal but not milk so I put some bran flakes in a cup, mixed in raisins and was ready. I even put a top on the cup of cereal so I wouldn’t spill it. I hopped in the truck and was on my way. When I made it to the highway and would be going straight without turning, I popped open the tabs on my coffee cup and drank and reached down, carefully took the lid off the cereal and then lifted it up to begin munching on my homemade raisin bran. As I did I caught the top of the cup on the lip of the cover of the console between the seats. Before I knew it the cup had been knocked out of my hand, landed side ways between the seats, spilling the cereal underneath my seat. There was barely any left to eat. Sigh. So much for breakfast.

As I continued driving to my appointment the growl in my stomach was ferocious but didn’t have time to stop and grab a bite anywhere. I drank my coffee which helped and by the time I arrived at my location I had nearly forgotten the mess of the spilled cereal.

Life is about learning to let go of things we care about. It’s about dealing with and accepting that even those things which we take great care of are still, one day or moment, going to slip through our fingers. It’s not a matter of “if” but “when.”

The question becomes; “Can we let go when the time comes? Are we able to continue to travel the path even with grief and loss? Do we understand that losing control, our grip, on the things we treasure is part of the necessary experiences that allow us to fully be and feel alive?”

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #"if", #"when", ##continue, #able, #accepting, #alive, #allow, #blessings, #care, #control, #day, #dealing, #experiences, #feel, #fingers, #fully, #grief, #grip, #learning, #letgo, #life, #losing, #loss, #necessary, #path, #question, #slip, #treasure, #understand, #wisdom, moment, Travel

TheWannabeSaint.com

…..a place for sojourners on this spiritual path called life

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Soul Alive

Temporary

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Turning Loose

Disapointment

The Beauty Within

Lack of Information

Spill

Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

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Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

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