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Source –

I mowed the grass today. Actually, I mowed patches of grass that have grown in spite of their being no rain for the last several weeks. Where it has grown was tall but a most of the yard is dead or dying grass that crunches under your feet as you walk on it. However, up the hill in the corner our backyard, there was a place where the grass has grown well. It’s where I have a hose set up to automatically deliver water to an Apple tree we planted this year. Anytime we turn on the water by the house to water flowers, wash vehicles or clean something the Apple tree is given sustenance. When I was weed-eating today this area was thick and lush. The difference between the watered area and about six feet away was remarkable with the latter area being brown and brittle.

As I finished trimming the area I reflected on both patches and how we live our lives. The drought we are experiencing has impacted land as far as the eye can see; brownish grass, trees dropping their leaves, creeks, and streams low and barely moving. However, where there has been a source of water the grass is green, the trees are healthy, blooms and blossoms abound and leaves are strongly attached. It’s a good reminder that we make the choice of being a source of love, goodness, kindness, and life to a parched world. Many times emotions, spirits, lives can dry up. Events and happenings can sap us of our will to live. Difficulties, challenges, tragedies, empty us of the joy and experience of what it means to be alive. We can be a source to help them in their times of drought and hope when our spirits and emotions are depleted, others will return the favor.

For most posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

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Double Back

Jul 14

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for freezer door top open

Double Back –

Last night, after dinner, Beth wanted a popsicle. I was getting up anyway and told her I’d get her one. I opened the top freezer door on the refrigerator and grabbed two by mistake. One fell to the floor and using the three-second rule I quickly stooped down and picked it up. Unbeknownst to me, the freezer door was swinging back and when I was two-thirds up I whacked the top back of my head on the corner of the freezer door. “OUCH!” It hurt so much I crumpled to the floor rubbing the wounded area. Beth heard me, came and looked at it and thought there would be bruising and soreness. She was right. It never occurred to me until it “hit me” that the door was doubling back. My mind was elsewhere and the freezer door brought me back to reality.

I was listening to someone describe addiction this week and they said; “It gets inside of you. You think you have a handle on it and then you begin to crave it. It comes back again and again and again.” I thought about other things which come around over and over. Grieving the loss of a loved one who has passed on, anger at being taken advantage of, bitterness at being betrayed, the pain of past memories and experiences that hurt us emotionally and physically, drug, alcohol and other addictions, friends who have negative influences on us, wounds which seem to never heal. All of these can cause us to crumple to the floor when they double back into our lives.

There is a needed balance of awareness and acceptance. Awareness is needed because perhaps we can see it coming and side-step the toll it would take on our minds and spirits. Acceptance is important because we are human, are not all-powerful, and difficult and challenging experiences are part of what makes us unique.

It is in this balance we may find wisdom and peace.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: #acceptance, #addiction, #Addictions, #againandagain, #alcohol, #anger, #area, #aware, #awareness, #balance, #betrayed, #bitterness, #blessings, #bruise, #challenging, #comearound, #comesback, #control, #crumpled, #describe, #difficult, #DoubleBack, #doublingback, #drug, #emotionally, #experiences, #friends, #grieving, #handleonit, #happens, #human, #hurt, #impact, #important, #influences, #insideofyou, #listening, #loss, #lovedone, #minds, #mistake, #neededbalance, #neverheal, #occurred, #ouch, #overandover, #pain, #pastmemories, #perhaps, #physically, #reality, #seeitcoming, #side-step, #soreness, #spirits, #surroundings, #swingingback, #takenadvantage, #thewannabesaint.com, #toll, #unique, #whacked, #wisdom, #wounded, #wounds, @BrianLoging, Negative, Peace

Balancing Act

May 24

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for balance lawn mower hill

Balancing Act –

There is an area in our yard next to the road that is tricky to mow. It is a sharp incline and in order to the get the job done the mower and the rider has to be at a steep angle. When I mow this particular spot in the yard I sit halfway on the seat with my body leaning in the opposite direction of the incline. The balance has to be perfect. Too far off the seat the mower doesn’t sense enough pressure on the seat and shuts off. Don’t lean far enough and there’s a chance the mower and rider could topple over. It’s a twenty-five yard long, difficult and dangerous, balancing act.

Life is also a balancing act. We live in perilous times. All one has to do is turn on the television, log online, and get the sense our families, communities, nations, and world is one mistake from toppling over into a dangerous place and we may not recover.

The problem is balance. Sides are chosen, political parties picked, litmus tests are given, judgments made and those on the other side, even ones seeking a middle way, are labeled as; “the enemy.” I don’t know if we are going to make it back from the edge of disaster but I do know it takes more strength to listen than to ignore, to understand than to shout down, to accept than to reject, to see others as us than ‘less than,’ to find balance than to demand conformity.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Contemplative

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Tags: ##opposite, #accept, #act, #angle, #area, #balance, #Balancing, #blessings, #chance, #chosen, #communities, #conformity, #dangerous, #dangerousplace, #demand, #difficult, #direction, #disaster, #edge, #enemy, #families, #findbalance, #ignore, #judgments, #labeled, #leaning, #lessthan, #life, #litmustests, #middleway, #mistake, #nation's, #otherside, #particular, #parties, #perfect, #perilous, #political, #pressure, #problem, #reject, #road, #seeking, #sense, #sharpincline, #shoutdown, #sides, #steep, #strength, #thewannabesaint.com, #times, #topple, #toppling, #tricky, #understand, @BrianLoging, Listen, World

Unseen

May 15

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Unseen –

Last Saturday I was bitten by something. Not sure what it was but when I took a shower in the afternoon a section of my arm was tender to the touch. I looked at the affected area, showed it to Beth, and came to the conclusion it was most likely a spider bite. What’s interesting is I have no idea when I was bitten. I cleaned out a cluttered shed, picked up tree limbs, worked on a plumbing issue under a deck, and visited the local dump. All of these could have been the place where I was bitten. I’ve kept a close eye on the bite and after a day of swelling, there is only a bruise. I will continue to monitor it.

I was reading an article today about how our childhoods shape us. We are, in part, products of our genes, cultures, families, neighborhoods and overall environments. Some people have spotty memories of their childhoods. They can recall certain events and experiences but its hard to put them all together. Others have vivid memories or feelings about things that happened to them when they were young. As we get older, where we grew up, how we grew up, what happened to us, reveals itself. Healthy childhoods often mean healthy adults. Hard, troubled, traumatic childhoods can lead to difficult adult lives. We may even feel our childhoods were happy and peaceful growing up only to realize as we get older there are unseen, unknowable, memories, experiences, and events that have caused unhealthy behaviors and coping skills. We may not remember but that doesn’t mean we aren’t impacted.

Who we are, what we become, have much to do with how we adapt, overcome and accept all part of our lives.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mental Health

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Tags: ##continue, ##swelling, #accept, #adapt, #adults, #affected, #area, #become, #behaviors, #bitten, #blessings, #bruise, #certain, #childhoods, #cleaned, #closeeye, #cluttered, #conclusion, #copingskills, #cultures, #environments, #experiences, #families, #feelings, #genes, #grewup, #Growingup, #happy, #hard, #healthy, #idea, #impacted, #interesting, #memories, #monitor, #neighborhoods, #older, #overall, #overcome, #peaceful, #pickedup, #products, #realize, #recall, #reveals, #section, #shape, #spiderbite, #spotty, #tender, #thewannabesaint.com, #touch, #traumatic, #troubled, #Under, #unhealthy, #unseen, #visited, #vivid, #whathappenedtous, #worked, #young, @BrianLoging, Article, Events, Lead

Exactly As It Is

Apr 27

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Exactly As It Is –

A few moments ago I sat outside on the edge of the porch and watched my Siberian Husky sniffing the ground. We have three families of rabbits, including little ones, and he has been stopping and smelling the area where they have been. The sun is out today. Its been hidden most of the week. There’s a nice breeze, blue skies with thick white clouds, the grass is an emerald-green. An almost perfect day. As I sat there I felt a splash of water on my leg. I looked to see where it came from and noticed a puddle and drops of water falling off the roof. For an instant, the moment was perfect until I noticed it. I sighed, not because of the splash but because my focus became what bugged me, not on everything else.

Wisdom teaches us to accept each moment exactly as it is; what we judge good and not so good, positive and negative, perfect and less than. The truth is; my moment on the porch was perfect with the drops of water, the splash, and the puddle. It was perfect because it’s what it was and my idea of perfection was what got in my way.

Life is a series of imperfect moments because we decide they would be better; “if…” Acceptance is one of the hardest yet most crucial lessons we must learn if we’re ever to know awareness and contentment.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Wisdom

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Tags: # moments, #"if", #accept, #acceptance, #ago, #almostperfect, #area, #awareness, #better, #blessings, #blueskies, #bugged, #contentment, #crucial, #decide, #exactly, #ExactlyAsItIs, #focus, #good, #gotinmyway, #grassgreen, #hardest, #hidden, #idea, #imperfect, #instant, #judge, #learn, #lessons, #lessthan, #life, #looked, #nicebreeze, #noticed, #notsogood, #perfect, #perfection, #positive, #series, #sighed, #sun, #teaches, #thewannabesaint.com, #today, #truth, #whiteclouds, #wisdom, @BrianLoging, moment, Negative

Gathering

Apr 16

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for petal blowing

Gathering –

This morning I stopped by the office on my way to a Community Group for Dads. It was cold today. Last night it was below freezing and when I left the house it was lightly snowing! I know Spring is supposed to be here but I wish it would step up and exert itself! Anyhow, when I arrived at the office there was the familiar hum of a leaf blower. Even though its cold the grass is still growing and the flowers are still blooming. I parked the truck and as walked to the office door I noticed what the maintenance man was doing. There are trees planted near the building that houses a suite of offices. Because of the wind and cold, the petals were scattered over the parking lot and in front of the office doors. Opening ours I saw them tumble into the foyer. The man operating the blower was trying to collect them into a corner and then sweep them into a trashcan. Expertly he gathered them setting the blower on high when moving them from a big space and then on low to push them into the area they needed to go.

Exiting the office, I reflected on the petals. They reminded me of the many thoughts which swirled in my head. Its Monday and my mind was filled with a list of; “to-dos, schedules, phone calls, meetings, reports, and a host of other things” which have already filled my week. My thoughts, like the petals, were scattered and needed to be gathered and sorted. I will follow the discipline of my leaf blower friend and willfully, but gently, take control where once there had been chaos by paradoxically, stilling my mind and spirit.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #area, #arrived, #bigspace, #blessings, #blooming, #blower, #chaos, #cold, #collect, #control, #corner, #discipline, #Exiting, #Expertly, #familiar, #filled, #follow, #friend, #gathered, #gathering, #gently, #go!, #head, #high, #hum, #leafblower, #low, #meetings, #moving, #needed, #Opening, #operating, #petals, #phonecalls, #push, #reflected, #reminded, #reports, #scattered, #schedules, #setting, #sorted, #sweep, #swirled, #thewannabesaint.com, #to-do's, #tumble, #willfully, #wind, @BrianLoging, Mind, Thoughts

Another Way

Mar 25

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for well jerusalem

Another Way –

This morning the pastor spoke from a selection of scripture regarding the story of how David, from the Bible, became King and conquered Jerusalem. It is an interesting story from the book of Second Samuel. When David, newly anointed, marched with his armies to the city of Jerusalem to reclaim it from the Jebusites, the foreigners were unimpressed. A ragtag, wannabe, King with his little army? How could they defeat the Jebusite army who far outnumbered them and were held up in the city of Jerusalem which had a great wall around it to repel invasion forces? They mocked David and told him they could put blind and lame men at the main gate and David still wouldn’t get in. However, David knew there was an access to the city through its water supply and his men came up through a well in the city and mounted a surprise attack to conquer the Jebusites.

“The king and his men marched to Jerusalem to attack the Jebusites, who lived there. The Jebusites said to David, “You will not get in here; even the blind and the lame can ward you off.” They thought, “David cannot get in here.” Nevertheless, David captured the fortress of Zion—which is the City of David.

On that day David had said, “Anyone who conquers the Jebusites will have to use the water shaft to reach those ‘lame and blind’ who are David’s enemies.[a]” That is why they say, “The ‘blind and lame’ will not enter the palace.”

David then took up residence in the fortress and called it the City of David. He built up the area around it, from the terraces[b] inward. And he became more and more powerful because the Lord God Almighty was with him.”
-Book of Second Samuel, Chapter 5

As I listened to the story I thought of challenges, difficulties, illnesses and other “enemies” had strongholds in my life. It seemed no matter what I tried I couldn’t defeat them. It was only after I stopped trying to take them “head on” that wisdom made known to me another way. There are battles for our spirits, emotions, our innermost being that requires us to be not frantic but still, not exhausting ourselves but saving our strength, not egotistical but willing to ask for and accept help, not stubborn but soft and bending, not stronger but wiser.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #accept, #access, #another, #anotherway, #area, #askfor, #attack, #battles, #being, #bending, #blessings, #blind, #builtup, #called, #captured, #challenges, #chapter, #conquer, #defeat, #difficulties, #egotistical, #emotions, #enemies, #exhausting, #forces, #frantic, #greatwall, #headon, #heldup, #help, #Illnesses, #innermost, #interesting, #Invasion, #inward, #lame, #life, #listened, #marched, #mocked, #mounted, #ourselves, #outnumbered, #powerful, #ragtag, #reclaim, #repel, #requires, #residence, #Samuel, #saving, #second, #secondsamuel, #seemed, #shaft, #soft, #spirits, #spoke, #still, #stopped, #strength, #stronger, #strongholds, #stubborn, #supply, #surprise, #thewannabesaint.com, #tried, #trying, #unimpressed, #wannabe, #ward, #water, #way, #well, #willing, #wisdom, #wiser, @BrianLoging, Pastor, Thought

Cracked

Mar 14

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for cracked skin thumbs

Cracked –

My fingers have a nasty way of cracking and splitting open when I work outside during the winter in cold and dry conditions. Last week my thumb developed a big one. I had several days of work in front of me and it was becoming sorer by the moment. Finally, after arriving home from a trip yesterday, my wife “made it better.” She cleaned it with Peroxide, gently using a Q-Tip to get the dirt and grime in the crack, applied Neosporin to the affected area and then covered it with a Band-Aid to keep it protected. I repeated the procedure this afternoon and will continue until it improves.

Certain seasons of life can also wound us physically, emotionally and spiritually. We do our best to keep going but sooner or later we must pay attention to the hurt because if we don’t it will only get worse. At times others can help us heal and other times we can do it ourselves. Wisdom teaches us the important axiom; “If we can’t take care of ourselves we can’t take care of others.”

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: ##continue, #affected, #applied, #area, #arriving, #axiom, #Band-Aid, #becoming, #better, #blessings, #care, #certain, #cleaned, #cold, #conditions, #covered, #Cracked, #cracking, #dirt, #dry, #during, #emotionally, #Finally, #fingers, #gently, #going, #grime, #heal, #help, #hurt, #important, #improves, #keep, #later, #life, #nasty, #Neosporin, #open, #ourselves, #outside, #payattention, #Peroxide, #physically, #procedure, #protected, #Q-Tip, #repeated, #seasons, #several, #sooner, #sorer, #spiritually, #splitting, #teaches, #thewannabesaint.com, #times, #way, #wisdom, #work, #worse, #wound, .#developed, @BrianLoging, Home, moment

Sound of Silence

Mar 1

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for rain tin roof

Sound of Silence –

For the last few days, the sounds of rain has been bouncing off the tin roof which covers our porch. I love the sound but hour after hour, day after day, and you’re ready for a break. Finally, today around noon, the rain stopped. I sat in my living room and listened to the limbs shed their build-up of water and after a while, there was only silence. I wonder if this was how Noah felt being the Ark, listening to the pounding of the rain and the waves and when it stopped did he pause and enjoy the sound of nothing falling on his big boat?

There’s been flooding in our area, yards are swamped, the drainage ditches are overflowing. Even though rain is a wonderful act of creation you can only handle so much of a good thing. Reflecting on the silence I also thought about what we desire in our lives. Most of us do not desire the “bad” with the “good”. In our imaginations, if we had all the power, we wouldn’t face the difficulties, the challenges, the mountains we climb on our journey from the cradle to the grave. Everything would be smooth with no setbacks or failures. If life was this way would we get sick of the “good”? Would we grow? What kind of person would we be?

There’s no way to honestly answer these questions but I do wonder if life would be worth living if we got all the things we think make life worth living for.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #act, #answer, #area, #Ark, #bad, #big, #blessings, #bouncing, #break, #build-up, #challenges, #climb, #covers, #cradle, #creation, #day, #desire, #difficulties, #ditches, #drainage, #enjoy, #face, #failures, #falling, #felt, #flooding, #good, #goodthing, #grave, #grow, #handle, #honestly, #hour, #imaginations, #journey, #listened, #listening, #lives, #living, #mountains, #overflowing, #pause, #person, #pounding, #power, #questions, #rain, #ready, #reflecting, #setbacks, #shed, #sick, #smooth, #sound, #soundofnothing, #sounds, #stopped, #swamped, #thewannabesaint.com, #things, #think, #tinroof, #water, #waves, #while, #wonder, #wonderful, #worth, @BrianLoging, Boat, Noah, Silence, Thought

Investing

Feb 28

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Investing –

This morning I had a meeting with another community organization. I was presenting a new opportunity to work with fathers in our area and hoped they would help us. I have presented ideas, data, skills and a host of other information, to more organizations and ministries than I can count. I’ve never been asked to leave or had a bad experience but have had the occasional person I was talking to be looking at their phone, out the window or at their watch. Those presentations and discussion following seem to drag on forever. I’ve also had the organization be excited about the opportunity to partner with us. Most, however, are somewhere in the middle.

Today’s meeting was the exception because the woman whom I was meeting with was excited and had some great ideas as to how we could make part of our plan work at her location. She paid attention, listened intently, took notes, asked questions and made me feel welcomed and not rushed to finish so she could start doing something else. In other words, she was fully present in our time together. It was awesome.

It was a great reminder the difference we can make in other people’s lives if we invest our time, our kindness, our respect, and our lives in theirs.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life, Mindfulness

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Tags: #another, #area, #asked, #askedquestions, #attention, #awesome, #bad, #blessings, #data, #difference, #discussion, #drag, #exception, #excited, #experience, #fathers, #finish, #following, #forever, #fully, #great, #greatideas, #help, #hoped, #host, #ideas, #information, #intently, #invest, #investing, #kindness, #leave, #listened, #lives, #location, #looking, #meeting, #ministries, #occasional, #opportunity, #organization, #organizations, #paidattention, #part, #partner, #person, #plan, #present, #presenting, #reminder, #respect, #rushed, #skills, #thewannabesaint.com, #together, #welcomed, #work, @BrianLoging, Community

Protection

Feb 27

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for rabbits bunnies

Protection –

We have a family of rabbits living underneath our shed. Every now and then, when we go outside, we spot one of them. They aren’t too afraid of us because we do our best not disturb the big or little ones. Trooper, our Siberian Husky, on the other hand, is on the lookout for a new play buddy. The problem is his “toys” are deceased after he plays with them. So, we have become the rabbit’s protectors. We do our best to make sure they aren’t in the area Trooper likes to frequent outside, know there is danger nearby making noise and giving them reasons to run and hide for a while. Though we try we know that Trooper or another predator could make quick work of the rabbit family. Snakes, cats, coyotes, raccoons, other varmints are dangers which could strike any day at any time.

There are many things we desire to protect in life. Some are possessions but for most of us, we long to protect the ones we love. However, as grow older, and hopefully wiser, the more we realize we cannot protect them from everything. Truthfully we cannot protect them from much that life throws their way. We can be there for them we can help them through the difficulties they are going through. This is a form of protection, one which reminds them they are never alone.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: ##protect, #afraid, #after, #alone, #area, #best, #blessings, #danger, #dangers, #deceased, #desire, #difficulties, #disturb, #form, #frequent, #giving, #grow, #help, #hide, #hopefully, #life, #living, #lookout, #nearby, #never, #older, #outside, #possessions, #predator, #problem, #protection, #protectors, #quick, #realize, #reasons, #reminds, #run, #strike, #thewannabesaint.com, #throws, #Truthfully, #way, #wiser, #work, @BrianLoging, Family, love, Noise

TheWannabeSaint.com

…..a place for sojourners on this spiritual path called life

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Source

Double Back

Balancing Act

Unseen

Exactly As It Is

Gathering

Another Way

Cracked

Sound of Silence

Investing

Protection

Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

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…..a place for sojourners on this spiritual path called life

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Brian Loging, OSBO

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