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I mowed the grass today. Actually, I mowed patches of grass that have grown in spite of their being no rain for the last several weeks. Where it has grown was tall but a most of the yard is dead or dying grass that crunches under your feet as you walk on it. However, up the hill in the corner our backyard, there was a place where the grass has grown well. It’s where I have a hose set up to automatically deliver water to an Apple tree we planted this year. Anytime we turn on the water by the house to water flowers, wash vehicles or clean something the Apple tree is given sustenance. When I was weed-eating today this area was thick and lush. The difference between the watered area and about six feet away was remarkable with the latter area being brown and brittle.

As I finished trimming the area I reflected on both patches and how we live our lives. The drought we are experiencing has impacted land as far as the eye can see; brownish grass, trees dropping their leaves, creeks, and streams low and barely moving. However, where there has been a source of water the grass is green, the trees are healthy, blooms and blossoms abound and leaves are strongly attached. It’s a good reminder that we make the choice of being a source of love, goodness, kindness, and life to a parched world. Many times emotions, spirits, lives can dry up. Events and happenings can sap us of our will to live. Difficulties, challenges, tragedies, empty us of the joy and experience of what it means to be alive. We can be a source to help them in their times of drought and hope when our spirits and emotions are depleted, others will return the favor.

For most posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

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Falling

Aug 5

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for deep pit

Falling –

Last night I had a dream about falling down a bottomless pit. My speed kept increasing and I was doing my best not to hit the walls of the pit and hurt myself. However, as my eyes adjusted to the darkness I could see there were ladders attached to the walls and if I timed it right I could catch a rung and begin climbing out of the pit. I woke up before I had decided to try and catch myself on a ladder or keep falling.

I have a lot of dreams like this one. Dreams of being late to a meeting and not being able to get there. Dreams of having to take a test and never have been in class, the teacher, the other students, the room are all unrecognizable but it’s time for the test. Dreams of being stuck, lost, and a sense of impending doom. I often wake up from these dreams and have no idea where I am. For a fleeting moment, my own home is unfamiliar. It’s always frightening but slowly I remember and things come into focus.

I’ve spoken with my talk therapist about it and it’s not unusual. Having a mental illness that includes a severe anxiety disorder is, in part, living scared. The key is finding my center, relocating my balance and allowing the fear to sometimes leave but most times settle so I can get out of bed and refuse to let it win.

In my dream, I didn’t grab the ladder but right now, at this moment, I know that I am reaching out and that has to be good enough.

For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: #adjusted, #allowing, #attached, #beinglate, #blessings, #bottomlesspit, #catch, #catchmyself, #climbing, #comeintofocus, #darkness, #decided, #dream, #dreams, #falling, #fear, #fearwin, #findingmycenter, #fleetingmoment, #frightening, #grabtheladder, #hurt, #impendingdoom, #increasing, #keepfalling, #key, #ladders, #livingscared, #lost, #mentalillness, #Myself, #noidea, #notbeingable, #poems, #posts, #reflections, #refuse, #relocatingmybalance, #remember, #sense, #settle, #SevereAnxietyDisorder, #stuck, #takeatest, #talktherapist, #trying, #unfamiliar, #unrecognizable, #unusual, #wakeup, #www.thewannabesaint.com, @BrianLoging, moment, Writings

Anchors

Jun 18

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for car seat anchors

Anchors –

Today I participated in a class which is teaching those attending about the importance of car seats. It is an in-depth look at this important safety product. One wouldn’t think there’s a lot to know about car seats and how to put them in correctly but one would be wrong. My brain was frazzled with terms, mechanical processes and the different laws and rules. One of the things I learned is that there are hidden latches and anchors on many vehicles which car seats are to be attached to for them to be as safe and secure as possible. Even if you can’t see the anchors there are symbols and signs to alert you of their presence.

After the class dismissed today I began reflecting on the “anchors” in our lives. Often when life turns upside down, runs into trouble, leaves us stranded and lost we can feel discombobulated and adrift in unfamiliar places. In these moments and seasons, we need people and truths upon which we can anchor our life. This wisdom, family, and friends keep us grounded, help us remember what’s important and not forget that which makes life worth living.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: # moments, ##brain, #adrift, #alert, #anchors, #attached, #blessings, #correctly, #discombobulated, #forget, #friends, #grounded, #helpus, #importance, #important, #latches, #learned, #leavesusstranded, #life, #lifeworthliving, #lives, #lost, #presence, #reflecting, #remember, #runsintotrouble, #safe, #safety, #seasons, #secure, #signs, #symbols, #thewannabesaint.com, #truths, #unfamiliarplaces, #upsidedown, #wrong, @BrianLoging, Family

Hearing is Believing

Feb 12

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for mule car ditch

Hearing is Believing –

A driver slid off the road during a snowstorm. His cellphone was useless and so he walked until he found a house with an old mule munching on some hay near a barn in the backyard. He knocked on the door of the house and a farmer answered. The man explained his predicament and the farmer said he’d help. The farmer put on a coat, exited the house and walked over to the old mule, put a bridle on it and the three walked back to the car. As they were traveling the driver of the car wondered if the old mule could be of much help. They arrived back at the car and the farmer turned the mule around, attached the rope it carried to the car and to the mule and began yelling; “Go, Joe, go, Fred, go, Jim, go Barney!” The old mule pulled as hard as it could and the car slowly came out of the ditch and back on the road. The driver was amazed and thanked the farmer profusely! Before he drove off he had one question he had to ask the farmer. “Why,’ he inquired, ‘when the mule was pulling the car, did you yell; Go, Joe, go, Fred, go, Jim, go Barney?” “Well,’ replied the old farmer scratching his chin and then petting the mule. ‘Ol’ Barney here doesn’t see too good and I knew if he thought he was pulling by himself he’d never believe he could do it. So, I made him think he was on a team so he’d have the confidence he needed to get the job done.”

Wisdom teaches us that we are never alone. Whatever the situation, it is never so dire that whether we can see it or not, the help we need is there to do what needs to be done.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: #alone, #amazed, #answered, #arrived, #attached, #backontheroad, #believe, #believing, #blessings, #carried, #confidence, #dire, #explained, #hard, #hearing, #help, #helpweneed, #himself, #inquired, #never, #predicament, #profusely, #pulled, #pulling, #question, #see, #situation, #slid, #slowly, #teaches, #thanked, #think, #traveling, #turned, #walked, #wisdom, #wondered, #yelling

Empathy

Jan 19

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Empathy –

I heard a story today about a chaplain who worked in a veteran’s hospital in the 1950’s. There was an African-American soldier in the hospital who had lost a leg in the Korean War. The physical therapists had worked with him trying to get him used to wear a prosthetic leg. Both the soldier and medical personnel tried everything they could think of but nothing worked and the soldier was ready to give up and live life with one leg and crutches for the rest of his life.

The chaplain was made aware of the situation and stopped by soldier’s bed one night to see if he could be of any help. “I can still feel my leg, my real leg!” the soldier cried. “It’s a phantom pain.” replied the chaplain, “It will go away in time.” “That leg!” retorted the soldier gesturing toward the prosthetic one, “will never be ‘my’ leg.” After visiting with the young man the chaplain prayed with him and asked if he could take the prosthetic one with him. The soldier responded with a shrug.

The next day the chaplain returned with the same leg except it was painted a shade of brown to more closely match the soldier’s own skin tone. “What did you do?” asked the perplexed soldier. The chaplain, hoping he hadn’t offended the young man said he took it home with him and thought painting it might make it seem more palatable. “That’s all you did?” asked the soldier admiring the leg. “That’s it.” smiled the chaplain. The chaplain helped the young man to the side of the bed, attached the leg, helped him take his first few steps and from that day forward the soldier made remarkable progress.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. The chaplain helped the soldier not by insisting he use resources given to him by the hospital but by listening and understanding what the soldier was going through and then adapting his help to the soldier’s personal, unique need.

Too often we see people who need assistance and we automatically assume there are places and resources that are available. We surmise that if someone wants help enough they’ll figure out how to get it. The truth is everyone’s story is unique and unless we listen, understand and are willing to personally get involved many will go on suffering and being blamed for doing so.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: # understanding, #ability, #adapting, #admiring, #African-American, #another, #assistance, #assume, #attached, #automatically, #aware, #blamed, #blessings, #chaplain, #closely, #crutches, #empathy, #Except, #feel, #feelings, #figure, #firststeps, #forward, #gesturing, #getinvolved, #giveup, #goingthrough, #heard, #help, #helped, #hoping, #hospital, #insisting, #Korean, #life, #listening, #live, #lost, #match, #medical, #nothing, #offended, #pain, #painted, #palatable, #perplexed, #personally, #personnel, #phantom, #physicaltherapists, #prayed, #progress, #prosthetic, #real, #remarkable, #resources, #responded, #retorted, #returned, #share, #shrug, #situation, #skin, #smiled, #soldier, #stopped, #story, #suffering, #surmise, #time, #today, #tone, #toward, #truth, #understand, #unique, #veteran's, #visiting, #War, #worked, Home, Painting, Personal

I Insist

Jan 16

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

I Insist –

A few days ago I posted a political article on my Facebook page. It was a snarky article but I thought it spoke beyond the snark and pointed to a larger and important point. It didn’t take long for people on both sides of the political landscape to begin voicing their opinions. By the time I woke up the next morning my Facebook feed was littered with exuberant cheers and bellicose jeers. After reading a few comments on the article I deleted it. I don’t have any desire to be one more voice in the cacophony of political arguments that dominate our national disagreements.

It was a stark reminder that we live in perilous times where debate and discussion have disappeared and have been replaced by something else that’s a mean, vicious, attack and take no prisoners approach to others who have a different opinion, view on politics, world affairs, life in general and specific.

I don’t want to be in this place personally or culturally. Somehow we must find our way back from allowing our identities to be attached to fleeting things; people, regions, political parties, church affiliation, and cultural icons. We need to discover who we are by journeying inward not abdicating ourselves to what’s outside of us. It’s our only hope for survival and peace.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: #abdicating, #affairs, #affiliation, #allowing, #approach, #arguments, #attached, #attack, #bellicose, #beyond, #blessings, #both, #cacophony, #cheers, #comments, #cultural, #culturally, #debate, #deleted, #desire, #different, #disappeared, #discover, #discussion, #dominate, #exuberant, #Facebook, #feed, #find, #fleeting, #hope, #icons, #identities, #identity, #important, #Insist, #inward, #jeers, #journeying, #landscape, #larger, #life, #littered, #mean, #opinions, #outside, #page, #parties, #perilous, #personally, #place, #point, #pointed, #political, #posted, #reading, #regions, #reminder, #replaced, #sides, #snark, #snarky, #specific, #spoke, #stark, #survival, #takenoprisoners, #vicious, #view, #voice, #voicing, #way, #woke, Article, church, National, Opinion, Peace, Politics, World

Idols and Illusions

Jan 9

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Idols and Illusions –

I would add to the quote attached to this post anything that’s fleeting, temporal, transitory, this that tell us lies about ourselves or others. Things like politics, money, jobs, reputations. Idols are all of these and more which fix our focus on the illusion that we are in control, we are powerful and by our wills, the world can be recreated in our image. It is this illusion that destroys our world and ourselves.

This morning part of my contemplation and meditation time included a portion of the Second Book of Kings, chapter seventeen, verse 15; “They worshipped false idols and became false.” I have read that several times today, talked about it with a friend and wrote it down in a journal. It says we become what we worship. Where our heart is, our mind, emotions, spirits, where our energies are applied is what we are and what we become.

Idols and illusions are hard to see sometimes. Breaking free from them isn’t easy. #AlbertEinstien said; “All of reality is an illusion, a persistent one, but still an illusion.”

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: #albert, #AlbertEinstien, #applied, #attached, #become, #blessings, #breaking, #Breakingfree, #contemplation, #control, #destroys, #einstein, #emotions, #energies, #false, #fix, #fleeting, #focus, #hard, #heart, #Idol, #idols, #illusion, #illusions, #image, #jobs, #journal, #Kings, #lies, #money, #ourselves, #persistent, #portion, #powerful, #quote, #reality, #recreated, #reputations, #second, #see, #spirits, #temporal, #transitory, #wills, #worshiped, Book, Free, meditation, Mind, Politics, World

Essentialist and Wannabesaint

Essentialist, contemplative, author, advocate, old soul

Blog Archives

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Falling

Anchors

Hearing is Believing

I Insist

Idols and Illusions

Essentialist and Wannabesaint

Essentialist, contemplative, author, advocate, old soul

Blog Archives

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Falling

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Anchors

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Hearing is Believing

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Empathy

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I Insist

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Idols and Illusions

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