Blog Archives

To Trust, To Share

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To Trust, To Share

This afternoon I was in Lewisburg, Tennessee for a meeting. I arrived early along with several other people and we were sharing with each other big and small life events which have happened recently. There were several birthdays which happened in January, someone had gotten married, another person was recently engaged and other good news passed along to the group.

We know deep down that other people have lives we know nothing about. We understand that friends, acquaintances, even family members are experiencing things on the road of life that we may never know unless they choose to share.

Too often we are absorbed in our own worlds and forget about the countless worlds of others which surround us.  Sometimes this focus on ourselves isn’t selfishness but survival. We are going through challenges, fighting battles and just trying to stay alive. Sometimes we are myopic and consumed with whatever is happening in our lives there’s not room for others.

Life is sharing, connecting, enjoying and struggling with those with whom we share the road of life. Good and bad, negative and positive or somewhere in between when we open our stories to others and they, in turn, trust us with theirs relationships happen.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Covered

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Covered

It snowed last night and today. It’s not a lot but a few inches and everything is a pristine white. The other day I was complaining about the brown, gray, dead look of winter and today the season revealed it too, can be beautiful. I’m not a fan of snow but the way it covers everything, makes it all look different, changes and challenges my outlook, even for a short moment, is wonderful.

The quote in the picture also reminds us that we have the power to change a difficult season for ourselves and others with acts of kindness. I would add; love, grace, forgiveness.

I told someone this week; “You sure are complaining a lot!” I now wish I would have blanketed them with compassion and compliments and perhaps, in their difficult season, their outlook on life would’ve changed, even briefly, and the world would’ve been better for it.

blessings,
@BrianLoging
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Zap!

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Zap!

Several weeks ago, before our first cold weather of the season, we brought in the flowers which aren’t made to withstand winter’s wrath. Unfortunately, we forgot to bring in several Aloe vera plants (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aloe_vera). They look terrible; drooped over, a brownish green, with no signs of vitality or health. The question is; “Did the winter weather zap these plants with enough cold that there is no hope for revitalization?”  We’re going to put them on a counter in the kitchen that gets plenty of sun for the rest of the winter to find out. Hopefully, with care and attention, they’ll bounce back.

Wisdom teaches us that life and its harsh seasons can zap us too! In one we’re thriving then another comes full of challenges and difficulties and the vitality and health seem to be drained from us. We may wonder; “Is there any hope? Will we bounce back? How much can we take before it’s too much?

Like the Aloe vera plants, wisdom tells us to find a place to recuperate. We are to care for ourselves paying attention to the damaged places and let time, rest and the warmth of love and grace help us recover.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Late and Right on Time

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Late and Right on Time

About a year ago I bought some anti-freeze windshield wiper fluid and a blue ice scraper that were on sale. I stuck the fluid in our shed and the ice scraper in the back seat of the cab of my truck and forgot about them.

This morning before getting my shower I went outside to start the truck and let it warm up while I finished getting ready. While getting in I noticed the windshield had a thick covering of ice on it. I tried the wipers, no luck, and the nozzles with the antifreeze were frozen. I started the truck and hoped it would melt. It didn’t. When I came back outside to leave for work the windshield was still as frozen as before. I grabbed a plastic gift card and tried scraping. No luck. Then I remembered the fluid in the shed. I carefully scaled the steps to the shed which were covered in ice retrieved the container and went back to the truck. I poked a hole in the aluminum covering under the cap and began to pour the fluid on the windshield. It seemed to be working but I needed something durable and thick. “AHA!” Then I remembered the scraper which has laid on the floor board unused and mostly unthought of for the last 12 months. I grabbed it and began to scrape where I had poured the fluid and soon I had removed enough ice to leave for work and as the truck warmed up even more the window defroster took care of the remaining ice.

I hadn’t thought of the fluid or the scraper in a long while but am very thankful I remembered them both. On my way to work I reflected on the difficulties and challenges each of us face in our lifetimes. There are those times of struggle when we wonder; “Why? What’s the reason? For what purpose are we going through this?” We can’t see the point and only later, further down the road of life does the answer come. It is then we realize a lesson learned might not prove useful today but invaluable tomorrow.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Eye of the Beholder

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Eye of the Beholder

Yesterday was a day full of teaching/counseling how to best communicate with those we love and treasure most. It’s ironic but sometimes the very ones we have the greatest need to connect with are the ones we seemingly have the most trouble.

I spoke to a group of men about communicating with the mother of their children. Most of them have children with different moms and I had them imagine talking and listening with the one they have the most difficulty engaging. I asked them why and received all sort of answers, most of them blaming the mom. We then discussed the difference between action and acceptance. Ultimately we must accept it if another person won’t communicate with us but we should take every action step we can to attempt to reconnect.

The two starting points with any real conversation are respect and a willingness to be changed by the conversation. If we approach someone not respecting them, not wanting to listen, placing the blame for all the problems in the relationship true connection will not happen. We have to be willing to listen and acknowledge our responsibility in the challenges and difficulties of the relationship. We have to be open to change and make every effort to do our part in healing a broken bond between two people.

It all begins with looking the other person in the eye and seeing ourselves. Knowing and doing what we need to do instead of making demands of the other can be the first steps in a new and stronger bond between the ones we need in our lives.

 blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com

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Not Out There

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Last night we had our Spring 2016 certificate ceremony for our incarcerated fathers’ class; Inside Out Dad. For the last session I give them their certificates and we talk about what we’ve learned over the last 3 months. One of the key points I focus on is self-awareness. It is the realization that most, if not all, our problems and challenges start with us. I tell the men; “Self-awareness is like looking in a mirror and truly seeing ourselves. We are able to recognize the good, bad, positive, negative, things we do well and things which need improvement.” I remind them to move beyond blaming others for our present conditions, accept responsibility for what we’ve done and should have done, and take an honest look at who we are and what we’ve become. “Only when we truly know ourselves can we be and do better.

It’s a wisdom lesson for us all, a discipline which takes a lifetime to learn and practice, and one we can’t start soon enough.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Lemonade

When life gives you lemons…

I talked with a dad yesterday who is having a very difficult time lately. His marriage is strained, his children are making poor decisions and he’s trying to hold everything together. He is heartbroken and struggling to see the truth of what we’ve been working on for the last year; “Good choices make good men who make good fathers.” He wonders if its worth all the passion, energy and time he’s putting in if, in his words, “everything’s going to hell!” We talked for a little while about the problems his family is having and then I turned the conversation to him. We spoke about different ways of communicating with his loved ones, how to accept the things he couldn’t change and take action on what could make a difference. I assured him that the effort he’d put in walking the path was not wasted and that in all the chaos it’s more important than ever to be the man his family needed him to be.

There are seasons in life when seemingly all the good has gone and nothing remains but confusion, doubt, fear and frustration. In those times we do not abandon the path of wisdom but allow the challenges to remind us how important it is to keep walking and don’t look back.

blessings,
BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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