Blog Archives

Little Things

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Little Things

They’re everywhere! Well, maybe not everywhere, but we certainly have quite a few of them in and around the house. We’ve found them in the shower, the bedroom, the bed, the ceiling, on hair brushes and numerous other places. Ladybugs! As the weather turns cooler, they’re turning into a real nuisance. Our first instinct is to swat them but they make quite the mess so instead, we will gently gather them up and show them to the door.

Ladybugs are such tiny things that could pose a big problem. In the same way, our lives can be filled with irritations that pose large challenges. A miscalculated statement to a coworker can become a problematic working relationship. A small lapse in attention while driving causes a large accident or at least scares and angers other drivers. A seemingly insignificant gesture can cause a heated exchange and escalate into a fight. What has the appearance of a minor choice can have enormous consequences.

Too often we think it’s the big things which make or break our lives. Truthfully, more than likely it’s the little things that decide who and what we are, will become and decide our destiny.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Openness

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Openness

On Wednesday night of this week, I was speaking with someone about being truthful and honest to the people in our lives. He stated that being too open can lead to betrayal and pain and therefore he doesn’t share his story for fear of being taken advantage of. It was a fair argument but I told him maybe his issue wasn’t being fearful of openness but being open to the wrong people. People we can trust, who won’t use our words and experiences against us, who will listen to understand and be a shoulder to lean on are invaluable.

Earlier in the week, I shared a fatherhood presentation to a group of fathers who have young kids in school. There were dads who were going in to work late and some who had worked all night diligently sitting there to learn more about how they could be involved in their children’s lives, especially when it comes to education. After the presentation while saying; “goodbye” to the fathers one of the attendees came up and began speaking with me. She had some questions about getting a father involved and shared her story. What she told me was hard to hear with many issues and other challenges she’s had to overcome. I couldn’t believe how open she was being when we had just met a few moments earlier. She believes I am someone she can trust with her family.

Openness, transparency, is something most say they desire in themselves and others. However, these can bring feelings of uncomfortableness, questions that aren’t easily answered, and an unsettling fear of not being skilled enough to meet the need. When these thoughts are rushing through our minds the need to breathe and be still must be remembered. Most people don’t want you to fix them they simply need someone to listen without judging. If there are problems to solve and mysteries to unravel we can do them together as we travel this path called life.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

a Visit

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a Visit

Last night, before letting the dog outside for its last chance to do some business my wife asked me if I could bring two Christmas Cactuses in the house. The temperatures were supposed to be dropping into the 30’s and she wanted to make sure they weren’t harmed. I grabbed the flashlight and opened the door. The dog ran out quickly and grabbing the first of the Christmas cactuses to bring inside I was handing it to my wife when a small bird flew out of the pot and into the house. My wife surmised this wasn’t a situation she was comfortable with feeling certain the bird wanted to nest in her hair and bolted for the living room. I picked up two mesh hats and tried to corral and capture the scared and fast-moving critter. It wasn’t easy but after a few moments, I noticed it kept heading back to the door where it came in. I propped open the door and was able to guide it to the opening and away it flew. “Whew!” Way too much excitement for that late at night.

As I chased the bird around the kitchen, mud room, and laundry room I wondered how ridiculous I looked trying to catch a bird, without harming it, with two mesh caps and my obvious lack of speed and agility. I also reflected on the unpredictability of life and how we can find ourselves so quickly in a situation we wouldn’t have dreamed of before it happens to us. Then, without warning, the unexpected comes swooping into our lives, and we are forced to deal with it.

Life is many things but none of them are boring. Thankfully, the troubles and challenges also, sooner or later, take flight and we’re left to ponder; “What’s next?

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Mentoring

Mentoring

Today, at a county health council, I had the privilege to listen to a man speak about an abusive childhood which was saved by someone who cared enough to take him under his wing and become his mentor. He described how this older gentleman would take him out for breakfast some morning and listen, just listen. This went on for several months. Finally, it dawned on the young man that he wasn’t being judged or given unsolicited advice, his mentor was there to hear him. He listened to the good and a lot of bad, the smidgen of positive and a plethora of negatives. The young man, at last, ran out of words to say and the mentor slowly helped him work through all the challenges and difficulties which result from growing up in an abusive and neglectful home. This mentor made all the difference in his life and as a result, the speaker now helps run a multi-county mentoring program and has improved the lives of countless young men and women.

It was a great reminder that most times the greatest gifts we can give another is presence and listening. Too often we see our role in the chaotic lives of others as telling them what to do, how to do it, advice that will make things better and shape to look more like ours. The speaker said today; “I didn’t need someone to tell me all the things I needed to do. I needed someone to let me get it all out so I could sort through it all and figure out what to keep and what to throw away.

Presence and listening. Two of the greatest and perhaps least used treasures we possess.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

to Lead

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to Lead

Last night I finished watching a movie about Winston Churchill  (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winston_Churchill) and his role and his role in what would end up being the last year of World War II.  Churchill was against “Operation Overlord (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Overlord) also known as D-Day because of a similar strategy that went horribly wrong in World War I that Churchill had championed.

The movie focuses mainly on Churchill’s resistance to the Allies plans to invade France and his leadership being questioned until he was sidelined as only a voice to rally the people instead of being involved in the day-to-day fighting the Nazis in Europe. The crux of the film was whether or not Churchill would accept his diminished, but still needed, place in British society. Ultimately, he discovers that he was still a different kind of leader but one his country still looked to and found hope.

It was a good movie and a stark reminder of true leadership. Too often we see leadership as forging a new way, dragging people kicking and screaming in a direction they do not wish to go, or cozying up to the right people to get them and then others to follow. While leadership has some of each of these, lasting leadership is understanding what people need, how best to serve them, working and walking together on this path of life and taking on the challenges and difficulties united in purpose and passion.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Support

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Support

Today the Mrs. and I were working outside when I noticed a leaf from our Oak tree suspended in mid-air. I quickly put my hands around it and yelled for Beth. When she looked my way, doing my best magician imitation, I pulled my hands apart and waving my fingers declared it was; “Magic!” and wiggled my fingers as it moved in the breeze. To say she was impressed would be an overstatement.

As we continued to work I thought about the “floating” leaf and the invisible supports which held it in place. Even though the wind was strong the spiderweb, which held the leaf, was stronger. In each of our lives, it is important to have supports as well. Family, friends, co-workers, 12-step groups, mentors, sponsors, and other folks who will keep us afloat by helping us when the world and its challenges and difficulties weighing us down.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Origins

Origins

In the last few days, I have developed a rash on my left hand. I don’t know where it came from but I only noticed it yesterday on the way to work. It doesn’t itch too bad but my hand is a little swollen. When she came home from work yesterday Beth looked at it and we tried to figure out what I had gotten into. There is, what looks like a bite, near the knuckle on my index finger. I haven’t been near any unusual plants or, as far I know, been bitten by anything. We began treating it last night with an anti-itch, anti-swelling cream and taking a Benadryl. It looks better today and hopefully will continue to disappear.

Since realizing I had the rash I’ve been lost trying to figure out what happened. It seems as if it appeared from nowhere but I know this isn’t the case. Somewhere, somehow I got infected but it doesn’t matter when it comes to treating it and monitoring it.

Wisdom teaches us that we will not always see new challenges and difficulties coming. There are times and seasons when things just appear and we must adjust our lives to it. Illnesses, financial struggles, job loss, people we love enduring suffering. We desire two pieces of knowledge we think will help us deal with these issues. We want to know why and how long. Why, how, did this happen to us and how long will it last before we can get back to normal. Often, however, we don’t have an answer to these questions but they shouldn’t stop us from accepting a new normal, adjusting to the unknown, and continuing to live while we recover.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Together

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Together –

Today I’ve been thinking about the eclipse which happened yesterday. It was awesome and am thankful I was alive to see it. However, I’ve also been thinking about the fact that we see the sun and the moon every day. All we have to do is look up at the correct time, as with the eclipse, and we can see both in much if not all of their glory. What made yesterday’s event special was the two occupying the sky at the same time. It was so spectacular we bought dorky looking glasses, closed down schools and businesses, marked the day on our calendar and watched the time closely. All so we wouldn’t miss two objects in the sky, hundred of thousands of miles away from us, come together.

The moon is about 200,000 miles from the planet we call home. This seems like a huge number until we realize the sun is almost 93 million! Yet, for a few moments yesterday, the moon, which is much smaller, blocked out the sun. The difference is compared to the sun, the moon is sitting right next to us.

Reflecting on this I begin to wonder about our proximity to each other and the troubles we are all trying to overcome. Sometimes the obstacles and dangers we face seem so big and terrible. They are daunting and overwhelming until someone does something kind for us. Then, even if for a few moments, the act of mercy and grace is what we see not the enormous challenges we are fighting to overcome.

There are people we know who are fighting for their very lives. An enemy, a disease, a crisis of a sort that we ask; “What can I do?” The answer is simple; be kind. We will be amazed at the difference a random act of kindness can make.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Carry

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Carry

One of the hardest things we do on the path of wisdom is to discover we are not all-powerful, all-knowing, all-wise. From the time we are born, we are learning. It might be good, positive lessons, not so good, or, most likely, a mixture of both. As we get older we hopefully begin to separate the good from the not so good. We learn that there are lessons we need to relearn and others we simply need to forget.

One of the most important lessons is we are not meant to carry the mountains we climb. Each of us deals with challenges, struggles, and difficulties. Some navigate incredibly tough paths because of what they endured as children, adolescents, and adults. The climb to the top of the mountain, to overcome these negatives is a great success. However, once the top is reached the question is asked; “What now?” When all you’ve known is pain and heartache it becomes a part of you. Reaching the mountain top doesn’t bring the joy and relief expected.

Unfortunately, some, instead of descending the mountain and continuing on with the journey now free of great burden pick up the mountain and carry it with them. The mountain has become a part of them and to separate from it is like breaking off a piece of themselves and leaving it behind.

Wisdom teaches us how to climb, how to descend and how to let go. It may still feel we are leaving part of ourselves behind but we trust our journey will take us to a place, a discovery of our new selves.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Heart Hunger

Heart Hunger

This afternoon I attended a meeting where a speaker talked about babies born being addicted to drugs. The mothers of these soon to be born children were addicts of both prescribed and unprescribed drugs and when the baby emerged from the womb it too craved the narcotics.

It was heartbreaking to hear the stories of some of the moms. 85% were on welfare, didn’t have much in the way of education, lived in poverty and were receiving the help of many community and national organizations. What was even sadder was the moms knew their addictions were harming their unborn child and yet couldn’t break the cycle. The addiction had overtaken the heart of the mother and superseded their instincts to care for their soon to be born child. The hunger for being a good mom was less than the appetite for the drugs.

Our hearts, the souls, and spirits of us are powerful. They can give us the strength to overcome the greatest of challenges and reach heights unthinkable or take us to the depths of hell and nightmares unimaginable. Wisdom teaches us to choose today who we will be tomorrow. Choose carefully because our decisions mean life or suffering and death.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Alarm

Alarm

Yesterday I went to a Lowe’s Home Improvement store to return a fan I bought a few weeks ago that wasn’t working correctly. As I walked through the doors I passed those security scanners most stores have and they went off! I stopped suddenly and looked at the customer service desk with a; “I’m not stealing, I’m returning!” One of the attendants turned the alarms off and told me to walk back through them and go to the other side of the customer service counter. I did what she said and the alarms went off again. This time ignored them and kept walking to where I was told. I gave her the broken fan she gave me the money and off I went.

Afterward, I retrieved a new fan and began to reflect on my alarm adventure. I think these types of scanners would come in handy when we are dealing with people. Some folks are experts at hiding what they’re experiencing, the troubles, challenges, difficulties, and burdens they are carrying. It would be great to know what others are going through so we could help them in times of crises.

While no such scanner exists we do have ears, which if put to good use, can listen and pick up on words and phrases used by someone who is struggling. We have spirits, if they are tender, can feel the pain others are facing.

Being sensitive to the weight others are carrying helps us be there for each other and to share the load on this journey we call life.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

In Line

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In Line

This afternoon, on my way into town, I was in a line of traffic. About three cars in front of me a young man, hand out the window, smoking a cigarette, and in a hurry. He was “riding the bumper” of the car in front of him in spite of their being numerous cars in front of the object of his fury. I watched him and wondered; “Why? Why are you being an aggressive, desperate driver, when there are more cars in your way? Are you going to tailgate every car until you get in front of them all?” I knew the answer was probably; “yes if he could.

I reflected on this man and the way our focus of life can be out of whack. When we go through a challenge, a difficult situation, we focus our intensity on the object in front of us. We blame it for our lack of peace and purpose. We think; “If I could just get this off my to-do list, remove that problem, rid myself of this habit, break off or begin this relationship, everything would get better.” The truth, however, is more poignant. If we do not have peace before we run into a challenge, overcoming it will not bring us peace. If there is no stillness inside prior to a relationship there will be none afterward. New job, friends, home, whatever, cannot bring us the sense of calm and wisdom we desire if we don’t acquire them deep inside by searching for them now.

The only peace and wisdom you find at the top of the mountain you are climbing are what you bring with you” -Wisdom Proverb

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Growth

Growth

Earlier today I mowed the grass. The back yard was ready to be cut but the front was a different story. The torrential rains we’ve had this week have left a large portion of the front yard too muddy to mow and some spots have standing water. Hopefully, next week, when it’s had more time to dry, I can try again.

What’s interesting is that the grass in this flooded area is still growing. The watery conditions have not impeded it. So, one part of the front yard is mowed with shorter grass while the other section is tall doesn’t look like it should.

Wisdom teaches us that growth can occur under several different types of conditions. We might think ideal conditions are where we would learn the best but this just isn’t so. Oftentimes we grow in the mud and the muck of the aftermath of storms which impact our lives.

When we understand that all types of experiences, challenges, difficulties, adverse conditions, can be fertile ground for our spirits we stop complaining and allow for the possibility that growth is mightier than the storms.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Bird in a Peach Tree

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Bird in a Peach Tree

Tuesday night Beth and I were watering our trees and plants when she noticed a small bird near the bottom of the back fence. It was young and finding its wings so it didn’t move when she was near it. Last night she told me to be on the lookout for it as I watered in the area where she first saw it. I looked carefully but didn’t see it and proceeded to water with abandon.

When I water the trees and plants I like to start at the top, with the leaves, giving them a good soaking and make my way down the trunk/base. The next to be watered was a Peach tree that’s grown a lot since we planted it a couple of years ago. I aimed at the top of the tree and began spraying it when all of a sudden, feathers fluttered and the little bird flew out of the Peach tree and with every pump of its wings went higher and higher, finally settling on a branch in a giant Birch tree.

Thankful it didn’t hurt itself I reflected on the truth that it was the scare that caused it to fly, perhaps further than it ever has flown before. In 24 hours, with nothing to urge it to go further it had moved from the fence to the Peach tree, about 20 feet. Following the fright, it flew hundreds of yards and into of the tallest trees in the yard.

Life has its uncertainties, dangers, difficulties, pain, and heartbreak. These are usually not welcome but they could be the very catalyst that allows us to climb to our highest heights and find our wings to soar.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Jumpy

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Jumpy

It came out of nowhere this morning when I was mowing the grass! I have seen a lot of small frogs the last couple of weeks and try to be aware of them but this little guy jumped up on my lawn mower and before I could stop it, it hopped on the engine! I was afraid it was going to fry itself, but a nanosecond later he jumped off and into the grass.

Isn’t it interesting how worried we can get over little things? Surprises which suddenly appear and there’s no time to prepare but our anxieties, stress, negative thoughts spike and we ask perplexed; “What am I going to do? What should I do? What can I do?” Sometimes the troubles disappear as quickly as they come and other times life comes to a halt while we figure out the best way to handle it.

What’s interesting is that whatever jumps into our lives is often beyond our control. We couldn’t have stopped it even if we knew it was coming. The second truth is we can only do what we can and let the rest just happen. It’s not comforting to know we can’t always stop or change, difficulties, and challenges that appear in our lives but instead of resisting we can accept and continue to move forward, even if it’s in a different direction.

blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com

Hidden

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Hidden

Last week I posted about a rat that had gotten stuck in a hole in the bottom of one of our outdoor trash cans. Today, as I was collecting the trash from the same bin there was a large mouse in the bottom who could fit through the hole and did so. He didn’t get very far but another movement caught my eye. In the back of the storage place where we keep the trash cans, I saw a patch of brown fur and thought another rat had made its way into the area and needed to be “taken care of“.

However, as I looked closer, I saw it was a large Hedgehog hiding in the corner. He wasn’t something that could be rid of so easily and our Siberian Husky, who’s killed his fair share, was off in another part of the yard. I wondered if he was able to get in the storage area but not out so I opened the door as far as it would go and left. Hopefully, it will get the hint and leave.

As I reflected on the Hedgehog I also thought about self-awareness. It’s the discipline of truly knowing and seeing ourselves, understanding what we do well and what we need to improve. Oftentimes, we become focused on the smaller challenges and don’t see the biggest area of improvement we need to make. True self-awareness reveals the largest issue, hidden behind all the smaller things, which needs to be brought out into the light.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Support

Support

Beth and I spent most of this beautiful, perfect weather, spring day, planting trees. Several plots of land surrounding our home have been bought lately and people are encroaching on our little slice of country paradise. So, we decided to plant trees along the line of our property to help keep it private and bucolic.

When you are planting new trees one of the most important things you can do is drive stakes into the ground and tie a string from it to the tree. You want to give it as much support as you can so that it can take root and thrive.

As we drove the support stakes into the ground surrounding the trees I thought about friends and family who are currently going through tough challenges and difficulties. They are like the newly planted trees. The storms of life are blowing through their lives and without the support of others, they won’t make it.

I want to be one of the supports for those around me who are hurting. Firmly planted, reaching out, grabbing them and saying; “I will not let you go. No matter what happens, I’ve got you.” After all, they would and have done, the same for me.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

To Trust, To Share

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To Trust, To Share

This afternoon I was in Lewisburg, Tennessee for a meeting. I arrived early along with several other people and we were sharing with each other big and small life events which have happened recently. There were several birthdays which happened in January, someone had gotten married, another person was recently engaged and other good news passed along to the group.

We know deep down that other people have lives we know nothing about. We understand that friends, acquaintances, even family members are experiencing things on the road of life that we may never know unless they choose to share.

Too often we are absorbed in our own worlds and forget about the countless worlds of others which surround us.  Sometimes this focus on ourselves isn’t selfishness but survival. We are going through challenges, fighting battles and just trying to stay alive. Sometimes we are myopic and consumed with whatever is happening in our lives there’s not room for others.

Life is sharing, connecting, enjoying and struggling with those with whom we share the road of life. Good and bad, negative and positive or somewhere in between when we open our stories to others and they, in turn, trust us with theirs relationships happen.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Covered

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Covered

It snowed last night and today. It’s not a lot but a few inches and everything is a pristine white. The other day I was complaining about the brown, gray, dead look of winter and today the season revealed it too, can be beautiful. I’m not a fan of snow but the way it covers everything, makes it all look different, changes and challenges my outlook, even for a short moment, is wonderful.

The quote in the picture also reminds us that we have the power to change a difficult season for ourselves and others with acts of kindness. I would add; love, grace, forgiveness.

I told someone this week; “You sure are complaining a lot!” I now wish I would have blanketed them with compassion and compliments and perhaps, in their difficult season, their outlook on life would’ve changed, even briefly, and the world would’ve been better for it.

blessings,
@BrianLoging
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Zap!

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Zap!

Several weeks ago, before our first cold weather of the season, we brought in the flowers which aren’t made to withstand winter’s wrath. Unfortunately, we forgot to bring in several Aloe vera plants (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aloe_vera). They look terrible; drooped over, a brownish green, with no signs of vitality or health. The question is; “Did the winter weather zap these plants with enough cold that there is no hope for revitalization?”  We’re going to put them on a counter in the kitchen that gets plenty of sun for the rest of the winter to find out. Hopefully, with care and attention, they’ll bounce back.

Wisdom teaches us that life and its harsh seasons can zap us too! In one we’re thriving then another comes full of challenges and difficulties and the vitality and health seem to be drained from us. We may wonder; “Is there any hope? Will we bounce back? How much can we take before it’s too much?

Like the Aloe vera plants, wisdom tells us to find a place to recuperate. We are to care for ourselves paying attention to the damaged places and let time, rest and the warmth of love and grace help us recover.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Late and Right on Time

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Late and Right on Time

About a year ago I bought some anti-freeze windshield wiper fluid and a blue ice scraper that were on sale. I stuck the fluid in our shed and the ice scraper in the back seat of the cab of my truck and forgot about them.

This morning before getting my shower I went outside to start the truck and let it warm up while I finished getting ready. While getting in I noticed the windshield had a thick covering of ice on it. I tried the wipers, no luck, and the nozzles with the antifreeze were frozen. I started the truck and hoped it would melt. It didn’t. When I came back outside to leave for work the windshield was still as frozen as before. I grabbed a plastic gift card and tried scraping. No luck. Then I remembered the fluid in the shed. I carefully scaled the steps to the shed which were covered in ice retrieved the container and went back to the truck. I poked a hole in the aluminum covering under the cap and began to pour the fluid on the windshield. It seemed to be working but I needed something durable and thick. “AHA!” Then I remembered the scraper which has laid on the floor board unused and mostly unthought of for the last 12 months. I grabbed it and began to scrape where I had poured the fluid and soon I had removed enough ice to leave for work and as the truck warmed up even more the window defroster took care of the remaining ice.

I hadn’t thought of the fluid or the scraper in a long while but am very thankful I remembered them both. On my way to work I reflected on the difficulties and challenges each of us face in our lifetimes. There are those times of struggle when we wonder; “Why? What’s the reason? For what purpose are we going through this?” We can’t see the point and only later, further down the road of life does the answer come. It is then we realize a lesson learned might not prove useful today but invaluable tomorrow.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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