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Fate

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Fate –

I was listening to an incarcerated man speak about his children last week; “This is my life. It is what I’ve always wanted. Not jail but respect. To get the respect I had to do things which would take me to jail. When my boy grows up if this is the life he lives I will respect him and we’ll rule the jail together.” To hear him hurt my heart. He had decided there was a certain path he, and his family, had no choice to follow to achieve his goal; respect. He didn’t realize it but he was talking about fate.

The dictionary defines fate; “the development of events beyond a person’s control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power.” For this man, the family he was born into, the house he grew up in, the neighborhood he roamed as an adolescent, the laws and societal norms he broke to fit in, powers beyond his control, all came together to put him on the path of being incarcerated. It was his fate and the presumably the fate of his children as well.

Wisdom tells us there are two circles; a large one and a small one. The large one is the things we cannot control; events, tragedies, positive occurrences and negative influences, most of life fits in this circle. The smaller circle are things we can control; choices, habits, reactions, responses to the negative influences and the positive occurrences. There is much out of control and life can seem overwhelming and chaotic. How do we find the right path in a world full of greed, hate, and evil? How do we know what’s right when a lot of things seem headed in the wrong direction? Or, are we fated to walk a certain path because of where we were born and to whom, grew up, genetics, role models?

The power to choose, to react, respond to the life that is given to us is great. It cannot stop tragedies, events, life from happening but it can decide how these things which are out of our control impact us. Life seems easier for some than others. Privilege is real. However, it doesn’t define us unless we allow it to set our course.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Truth

Apr 23

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Truth –

Last night I watched the “The Post” starring Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks. The film is described as; “thrilling, based on a true story. Determined to uphold the nation’s civil liberties, Katharine Graham (Streep), publisher of The Washington Post, and hard-nosed editor Ben Bradlee (Hanks) join forces to expose a decades-long cover-up. But the two must risk their careers –– and their freedom –– to bring truth to light in this powerful film (https://www.foxmovies.com/movies/the-post).” It was an interesting movie dealing with an historic and chaotic time in this nation that I am too young to remember. I did find myself cheering Streep’s and Hank’s characters on as they took a case of the freedom of the press all the way to the Supreme Court. I won’t spoil the ending but it was a good watch and worth anyone’s time who is interested in an event that would directly impact how the press covered the Watergate break-in (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watergate_scandal) and news moving forward to the present.

What I’ve wrestled with since watching the movie is; “News exists in a vacuüm. The lives of the reporters, editors, and publishers are swayed by their political leanings, experiences, preferences, and worldviews.” We as the readers face the same limitation in our consumption of news. There are so many places to receive our news today that we can stay perpetually stuck in a bubble where only our viewpoints are legitimized. When this happens we cease being open to new ideas or our current ones being scrutinized and challenged. We become entombed, trapped by our own beliefs and limited knowledge. The truth isn’t important anymore only our belief of what is true.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness, Wisdom

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Slowing Down

Feb 17

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Slowing Down –

The last few days have been slooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. We’ve had overcast skies, plenty of rain and this makes for a dreary season and spirit. April showers may bring May flowers but February showers bring time to a standstill. The last few months have been long. I always have a difficult time between Thanksgiving and Easter. It’s dark when you arise and when you arrive home in the evening. The darkness that surrounds me seems to permeate my emotions. As someone with Chronic Severe Depression and a Severe Anxiety Disorder the days slowing to a crawl, mess with my balance and threaten to send me over the edge into negative thought patterns and fixations on disappointments and failures.

The balance, of course, is not letting the anxiety get in there and make my brain whirl like a drugged up hamster on a greased up wheel. Again, it is balance. I make sure the things which help me; meds, exercise, talking to others about how I’m feeling, are done and not discarded even when tempted to do so.

The balance to keep life’s rhythm manageable is an everyday if not every moment discipline. If we let it we would be either swept away in a chaotic whirlwind of activity or mired in a despondent state of surrender. Slowing down isn’t the goal but balance and mindful living are what keeps us sane and steady on the path.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in #anxiety, #depression, Mental Health

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Non-Action

Jan 15

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Non-Action–

Today was busy! I know for some it was a holiday but my schedule was stuffed! The day started early and it felt like a sprint to the end of it. I don’t mind busy days most of the time because it keeps the time moving and there’s no boredom to fight off.

On the other hand, my wife had a holiday. Today is Martin Luther King day and she was able to sleep in, keep her PJs on and enjoy a wonderful day of doing nothing, purposefully. She’s been incredibly busy since November of last year and a day home, without me!, and zilch on her schedule was what she needed.

There is a thin line between balancing a healthy life or action and inaction. Our chaotic world and its need for non-stop entertainment, to-do lists, places to go, things to experience, can set a pace where eventually we burn out, fall apart, or both. We need to know when to stop, take our foot off the gas and be still; not just emotionally and mentally but physically.

Knowing, sensing, its time for a break, a rest, a lazy day is an important sense to develop and put into practice.

blessings,
BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Today

Dec 19

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Today –

I was speaking with a friend this week who is incredibly busy. So busy it seems things that need to get done will never get accomplished. As we spoke I heard the hurry in their voice. “I’ve got to do this, then that, then the next!” Simply listening made me tired. I know the feeling of having too much stuff to get done and that all the time in the world doesn’t seem enough. I also know when I feel like that, take on that burden, I am stepping out of mindfulness and stillness. I am allowing the world and its chaotic rhythm sweep me away to a place where I don’t belong.

After my friend’s list was given I told them it sounded like they needed a nap, a time of stillness and letting go of lists, chores, to-do’s and embracing a still and mellow attitude. “Things will get done,’ I told my friend, ‘do what you can and leave what you can’t. Eventually, all the important stuff will be taken care of and all the rest? Who cares.”

If we aren’t careful we can fill our lives with so much to do that nothing gets done, not even living.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #accomplished, #allowing, #Attitude, #belong, #blessings, #burden, #busy, #careful, #chaotic, #chores, #dowhatyoucan, #embracing, #enough, #eventually, #feeling, #fillourlives, #friend, #friends, #getdone, #given, #heard, #hurry, #important, #incredibly, #know, #leave, #lettinggo, #list, #listening, #lists, #living, #mellow, #nap, #need, #needed, #nothing, #rest, #rhythm, #simply, #Sobusy, #sounded, #speaking, #spoke, #stepping, #still, #stuff, #sweep, #tired, #to-do's, #today, #toomuch, #voice, #Whocares, mindfulness, Stillness, World

The Heart’s Way

Nov 12

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

The Heart’s Way –

The sky has been cloudy today. It has been mostly dreary and cool. It’s one of those days you stay inside and try to keep warm. This weekend has felt like fall. Not the fall with the beautiful leaves, cool nights and warmer days but the type of fall days which tell you winter won’t be long coming.

I’ve been tired today. It’s been a long 10 days and its caught up with me. I don’t mind “lazy” days. They are good for the mind, body, and spirit. However, there are things which need to get done that didn’t. I know there will still be enough sunny warmer days to finish winterizing the house and yard but letting go of “wasted” day thoughts is still tough.

Looking inside, into my soul, where the stillness exists I am reminded that there must be days we rest. I am thankful for the wisdom teachings of the importance of the mind but even more so the lessons of the heart. Going deep, when the surface is confused or condemning, helps me discover the path is not forged by a quickened pace but by a contented heart.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #blessings, #body, #caught, #chaotic, #condemning, #confused, #contented, #days, #deep, #discover, #exists, #finish, #forged, #good, #heart, #helps, #importance, #inside, #lazy, #lessons, #lettinggo, #long, #looking, #pace, #path, #quickened, #reminded, #rest, #spirit, #surface, #teachings, #thankful, #tired, #today, #tough, #wisdom, Mind, Soul, Stillness, Thoughts

Mentoring

Oct 17

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Mentoring –

Today, at a county health council, I had the privilege to listen to a man speak about an abusive childhood which was saved by someone who cared enough to take him under his wing and become his mentor. He described how this older gentleman would take him out for breakfast some morning and listen, just listen. This went on for several months. Finally, it dawned on the young man that he wasn’t being judged or given unsolicited advice, his mentor was there to hear him. He listened to the good and a lot of bad, the smidgen of positive and a plethora of negatives. The young man, at last, ran out of words to say and the mentor slowly helped him work through all the challenges and difficulties which result from growing up in an abusive and neglectful home. This mentor made all the difference in his life and as a result, the speaker now helps run a multi-county mentoring program and has improved the lives of countless young men and women.

It was a great reminder that most times the greatest gifts we can give another is presence and listening. Too often we see our role in the chaotic lives of others as telling them what to do, how to do it, advice that will make things better and shape to look more like ours. The speaker said today; “I didn’t need someone to tell me all the things I needed to do. I needed someone to let me get it all out so I could sort through it all and figure out what to keep and what to throw away.”

Presence and listening. Two of the greatest and perhaps least used treasures we possess.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness, Relationships

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Grow where You’re Planted

Oct 1

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Grow where You’re Planted –

Yesterday, Beth and I began prepping the yard and our plants for winter. Most of our summer plants have dropped their leaves and the ones which won’t be blooming again, or didn’t grow at all, we threw into a ditch next to the fence on our property we’re trying to fill. We’ve done the same thing the last three falls and yesterday I noticed there were plants growing and as I looked closer I saw there were some that we had tossed. There were Tomatoes, Elephant Ears, Blueberries, Palm fronds, and more. It was amazing to see what we thought were used up or no good plants find root and begin growing again, or for the first time.

There’s a lesson in there for those who are going through times of change, transition, difficulty, and loss. Seasons of life, when we are uprooted and seemingly thrown somewhere random, chaotic and left for dead, can still lead to growth. I told someone a few weeks ago, who had begun a new, uncertain chapter in their life, “bloom where you’re planted.” It’s not easy and there are certain to be trying moments where the effort to put down roots might seem to take more than we can give but the result; life, peace, acceptance, will be worth the effort.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: # moments, #amazing, #bloom, #certain, #change, #chaotic, #chapter, #dead, #difficulty, #effort, #firsttime, #growing, #growth. #uncertain, #lesson, #life, #loss, #nogood, #planted, #plants, #root, #roots, #seasons, #thrown, #transition, #uprooted, #usedup, Random

Ripples

Sep 19

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Ripples –

Yesterday I told someone about an experience in my life that happened several years ago. They were looking for an example of a certain subject and I had it. As I relayed to them the story you could tell they were surprised but also relieved that someone else had a similar experience that impacted their life. The basic question from the other person was; “Can good rise from bad? Is there a way to navigate a negative part of our journey that will ultimately lead to something positive?” What was interesting is that I didn’t answer their question and they didn’t seem to notice. I’m still waiting for the good, the positive to be revealed from my negative experience. However, what was more important to the person was not what resulted but that I made it through. This gave them hope.

Too often, when going through chaotic times of life we wonder; “Is there a rhyme or reason?” Then we meet someone who’s been through something similar and we are comforted simply by knowing someone who has survived. At first, we want to know how it all ends but we quickly understand each experience no matter how similar is different for everyone with incalculable resolutions. Our deepest desire is to know we are not alone, to believe if another made it through then maybe we can also.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #believe, #chaotic, #comforted, #deepest, #desire, #different, #experience, #good, #hope, #important, #incalculable, #notalone, #positive, #quickly, #reason, #resolutions, #resulted, #revealed, #rhyme, #similar, #survived, #times, #understand, #waiting, #wonder, Negative

Pruning

Mar 1

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Pruning –

Another mighty storm front blew through the area this morning. Not too far from us a tornado apparently touched down and winds blew near 100 MPH. Beth and I were talking before work and I stated; “We haven’t gotten much cold weather this winter but we sure have had the winds and rain!”

Outside of our front door is a mighty Oak tree which needs to be topped. Before winter it also needed to be pruned. There were many dead limbs which needed to come down. The storms which have come through our area since November have taken care of a lot of these limbs. At one time they were in the tree, threatening to fall on someone or something of value. The winds and rain this winter have shaken them from their place and we have picked them up as they have fallen. The storms have been mighty, stoking fear a few times but they have also pruned the mighty Oak.

Storms, mighty winds, also blow through our lives shaking us to the core. They whip us around, knock us to and fro and we wonder if we’ll topple over. However, as the storms make their way through and leave us a little unnerved but alive we notice the dead limbs which were blown free.

Wisdom teaches us that storms are chaotic, frightening, and needed. Too often we surround ourselves with things which lose their value, die, and decay. These weigh us down, are unsightly and should be removed. Then comes the storms and we are thankful for their power to strip from us anything and everything that’s not alive and growing.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #chaotic, #dead, #decay, #life, #mightywinds, #pickup, #pruning, #rain, #rot, #shaken, #winds, #wisdom

Together

Jul 5

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Together –

This morning, I went into a store and was met with a booming voice coming over the store’s speakers. “Would the Grandmother of Jason please come to the registers? Would the Grandmother of Jason please come to the registers?” My first thought was a woman who had become enamored with her shopping list and had let her grandchild wander off. An elderly person passed me, approached the registers and the grandson hurriedly went up to her and declared; “I didn’t know where you were! I was looking for you!” When the child began to speak I could tell he had a learning disability and the grandmother, instead of being embarrassed or frustrated, told him calmly; “I was over there. I knew where you were.” She continued talking to him and they began walking through the store together. I smiled at the gentleness of the grandmother. She obviously was familiar with these situations and knew what to do to help the young man feel safe, to know she was near, he hadn’t been forgotten.

Reflecting on this sweet moment I wondered if this is how God sees, understands us. There are events we consider traumatic and chaotic. We panic and question; “God where are you? Have you forgotten us? Have you left us in the middle of this mess with no way to find you?”

God, on the other hand, is right there, with us. We may not see him but we’ve never been out of his sight. In his way, in his timing, he steps into view and we run, relieved and cling to him telling him how worried and alone we felt. He smiles, puts his arm around us, his voice and presence soothing our soul and we walk together along life’s path.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

1 Comment

Tags: #alone, #chaotic, #findyou, #God, #lost, #presence, #spirit, #together, #traumatic, #whereareyou, #wisdom

Bug, Windshield or Road?

Apr 12

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

This afternoon, on my way back from a community meeting, I noticed my windshield was dirty and depressed the level on my steering column which sprayed a chemical onto the filthy glass, causing the wipers to vigorously move left to right and back again several times. After a few moments it was clean, clear and bright. “Nice!, much better.” I thought. Almost immediately another big bug splatted on the windshield. It would’ve hit me between the eyes if not for the protective glass. “Sheesh!” was my next thought. I shook my head at “my kind of luck” and cleaned it again expecting another bug to sacrifice himself on my windshield just as the wipers finished their work.

As I waited for this kamikaze bug I reflected on life and our desperate desire for cleanliness, orderliness in a chaotic, messy world. No matter how much we want or anticipate an end to the unpredictability and muck of our existence the truth is life will never be our definition of spotless and safe. Each of us travel this road and our focus can be the bugs or the distance we are covering.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #anticipate, #bug, #chaotic, #cleanliness, #covering, #desire, #desperate, #distance, #focus, #kamikaze, #life, #messy, #orderliness, #reflected, #road, #safe, #spotless, #unpredictability, existence, Travel, Truth, World

TheWannabeSaint.com

…..a place for sojourners on this spiritual path called life

Blog Archives

Fate

Truth

Slowing Down

Non-Action

The Heart’s Way

Mentoring

Grow where You’re Planted

Ripples

Pruning

Together

Bug, Windshield or Road?

Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

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