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How Could He?

How Could He?

Here is Tennessee and even across America, there is a question that is on many people’s mind; “Why did the father of a five-year-old Autistic boy beat his son to death and then hide his body? How could this father then claim the boy had wandered off and allowed law enforcement officials, volunteers, and others to search areas near his home for three days thinking the boy was alive?” (http://fox17.com/news/local/dad-beat-son-joe-clyde-daniels-to-death-hid-his-body-in-remote-area-affidavit) Its horrible, vile, evil, confusing, and no matter the answers they will not satisfy a grieving family and community.

The next two days I will be training to be a trainer in Adverse Childhood Experiences. According to “SAMSHA (Substance Abuse Mental Health Agency) describes “Adverse childhood experiences or (ACEs)” as stressful or traumatic events, including abuse and neglect. They may also include household dysfunction such as witnessing domestic violence or growing up with family members who have substance use disorders. ACEs are strongly related to the development and prevalence of a wide range of health problems throughout a person’s lifespan, including those associated with substance misuse. ACEs include: Physical abuse, Sexual abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical neglect, Emotional neglect, Intimate partner violence, Mother treated violently, Substance misuse within a household, Household mental illness, Parental separation or divorce, Incarcerated household member.”(https://www.samhsa.gov/capt/practicing-effective-prevention/prevention-behavioral-health/adverse-childhood-experiences)

Put simply; what happens to one when growing up impacts that individual’s behavior, physical and mental health as adults. It changes the question from; “Why or How could you?’ to ‘What happened to you?” The difference is all the difference. It allows for context and the ability to understand, not approve, why a person would do something incredibly harmful to others or to themselves by researching their backgrounds, cultural, community, familial and social environments.

It will be a challenging and difficult two days especially in light of the tragedy that unfolded over the past week. However, only when our emotional and intellectual biases are confronted can we move beyond them to greater wisdom and knowledge.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Out of Reach

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Out of Reach

A couple of weeks ago a strong thunderstorm dislodged a big limb from the huge Oak tree just outside of our front door. It was caught by other limbs about 15 feet from the ground. I noticed it last week and decided to take it down before it crashed onto the house, a vehicle or perhaps Beth or myself.

My idea was to pull the truck under the limb, climb on top of the cab, and try to grab it with something. Beth was not a fan of this plan. I got the truck in place, crawled on the truck as high as I could go and tried with a broom and a 2×4 to shake it loose. It didn’t work and Beth kept saying, rather loudly; “I don’t like this, you’re going to fall!” Managing to move it a few feet I was stretching as far as I could but the limb was frustratingly still out of reach. “I’ve got an idea!” I told Beth. “What if I jumped off the cab, grabbed the limb and pulled it down as I landed?” That was it. Beth, in rather stern language, made me get down and find another way. I retrieved a rope from my truck, tied a piece of wood to the end, and threw it over the limb and pulled it down. The limb was much longer than I realized and had many offshoots which made it difficult to finally get it free. After finishing I confessed to Beth that she was right, I was wrong, standing on the truck cab, trying to grab it was not a good idea and I probably would’ve hurt myself if I kept trying it this particular way.

Wisdom teaches us that certain things are out of reach for us. This doesn’t mean they’re always going to be unavailable, it simply means, for now, they aren’t ours to claim. However, too often we insist on grasping the elusive object immediately and troubles and pain follow. Knowing when and when not to go after something is as important as possessing it.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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