Blog Archives
Vision
Vision –
Last night Beth and I watched the bio-movie; “The Founder”, starring Michael Keaton. It is the story of Ray Croc, the “founder” of McDonald’s, the world’s largest fast food chain. It is an interesting movie of how Croc took a hamburger stand, owned by the two McDonald’s brothers, and made it into a food empire.
At the beginning of the movie, Croc is a persistent, charismatic, but not completely successful restaurant equipment sales rep. While on the road he learns that a place in Bakersfield, California, has ordered six milk shake makers! He’s intrigued enough to find out what kind of restaurant needs this many and drives to their location. While there he sees the McDonald’s brothers “Speedy System” (where and how the workers are placed in the assembly area) and the unique layout of their restaurant which allows them to make “made to order” hamburgers in less than thirty seconds! Ray Croc is in awe and talks the brothers into letting him begin to sell franchises all over America. Initially, everything goes relatively smoothly but Ray Croc’s ambition, craving for money and fame, eventually drive him and the brothers apart. I won’t spoil the movie but it’s worth watching.
As I was reflecting on the story today I thought about vision and how it unites or divides people. It can be the vision of ourselves, family, community, church, organization, nation or world. Everyone has a vision of how things “should” be and some share the same vision while others oppose it. Competing visions can cause dissension and dissolution of connectedness and relationships.
Wisdom teaches us the more tightly we hold to our visions of things the more suffering we cause ourselves and others. Only when we are open and allow for the possibility of differing views can we be at peace with ourselves and others.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Spread it Around
Spread it Around –
Someone did something very kind for me today. It was an incredibly nice gesture backed up by a grace-filled act. I told Beth about it when I got home and she was genuinely surprised and grateful.
I was talking with a person this week about the meanness in the world. People spew hatred and judgement so easily. Whether it’s politics, religion, sexual preferences, what kind of #livesmatter, or a host of other hot topics, people choose to burn their neighbors with contempt, aggression, and hatred.
In the midst of so much evil in the world a genuine act of kindness, no matter how small, can change a person, a family, a community, a nation and a world. My life was changed by kindness today and I hope, pray, to spread the blessings to others.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com
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Nuance
Nuance
Everyone should have a friend who dances to their own music, marches to the beat of their own drummer. These special ones seem to walk a path that others cannot see and probably wouldn’t have the courage to navigate a path so culturally unconceived.
We seemingly live in a world where there are only two sides. These sides are chosen by litmus tests and depending on what you believe, where you stand on the issues, a label is slapped on you and you assume the responsibility and culpability of all others labeled and standing along side you. There is no nuance, no subtleties and we all suffer from it. Vitriol, disdain and hostility are hurled at those on the other side and our cultures are divided seemingly to never be brought together again.
I wonder if there are enough people who would dare to not accept this paradigm, view of life, of others. Are there enough folks who would put aside the expectations and be the exceptions to what our world demands? How many would choose to belong to the community of nuance, walk the road less traveled and dance to the music of the middle?
blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com
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Saving a Place
Saturday evening it was raining and cold outside but the house was warm and dry. Beth had driven up to Nashville so I plopped down on the couch, threw a blanket over me and finished watching a documentary I’d been viewing for almost a week.
The film is entitled; “The Amish: Shunned” and dealt with Amish children who, when they were old enough to choose, could leave home. Most of us have made the decision to move away from home to go to college, rent or buy a place of our own and see it as a rite of passage into adulthood. For the Amish, however, the choice to leave brought with it stigma, judgement and a loss of family and community.
The documentary followed several young and middle-aged Amish who chose to walk away from their quaint, confined culture and into a big, strange, new world. Some stayed on the outside and never returned, others decided to go back. The stories of families who refused to speak with their “shunned” children, wouldn’t invite them into their childhood home when they visited were heartbreaking. One man spoke of reconciling with his father after twenty-five years of estrangement. Another recounts a family reunion when her parents pulled the curtains shut so no one would see their prodigal daughter was home. To be sure there were exceptions to the strict adherence to the Amish rules of conduct but they were rare. I found myself growing frustrated as the film concluded. I didn’t understand how a parent could choose community over a child. I am confused by the stubbornness and belief that “shunning” saves the Amish way and possibly the child who chooses to leave.
One of the last parts of the documentary was an unseen Amish man speaking, they don’t allow themselves to appear on camera, who describes how each family sets the dining room table with a spot for those who are missing. “Three times a day,’ he says, ‘those who’ve left know there is still a place for them. There will always be room at the table.'” I both loved and disliked the symbol of the empty place setting. I loved it because they hadn’t forgotten the ones who were no longer there. I disliked it because the only way home was conditional, an adoption of particular a way of life the shunned no longer wanted.
Being truly accepted, loved, a part of a family or community comes from unconditional love and irresistible grace.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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How It’s Meant to Be
A few hours ago I had both the privilege and blessing of attending the celebration of the Grand Opening of a Habitat for Humanity home for a wonderful family. The ceremony was short and sweet lasting only thirty minutes. Perfect timing for a sunny, 90+ degree day in June.
However, in that small amount of time, something amazing was accomplished. Churches of non similar creeds, businesses and non profits, people of different races, haves and have nots, straight laced reserved and tatted up folks came together to celebrate helping those in need. No one was paid to do the hard work required over the last several months to make this day possible. A zero interest mortgage will be offered and signed by a grateful mom who, along with her son, now have a place to call home.
As I sat and watched a community that’s come together to give, sacrifice and offer their services for a fellow human being I was humbled and convinced that this why we were created. This is how it’s meant to be.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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Changing the World
This morning it was my privilege to speak to a group of almost 50 men about the path we travel and how our decisions have a lasting impact upon those we call our families.
In our me centered culture we forget how our lives are not just our own. Who we are, the way we live, models for those we travel life’s path with what’s important. What we hold dear, what we treasure, is reflected by where we put our time, energy and passion. Whoever or whatever is the object of our affection flourishes while what’s neglected wilts and fades away.
“What can we do to promote world peace? Go home and love our families.” #MotherTeresa
Simple but profound wisdom and guidance from Saint Teresa. How can we make this crazy, chaotic, spinning piece of space rock a better place? We start by making sure the ones closest to us are loved and appreciated.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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Seeing from Within
It wasn’t the easiest of conversations to have but he had to know and I had to be the one to tell him. It’s difficult when someone needs to hear a hard truth. He was sure, convinced, it was out there, beyond himself. Someone else was the harmful influence, another’s behavior and choices were ruining a relationship, spoiling a partnership, when it was, in fact, him. It was his bias, ego and flawed judgement. His view of a perceived “enemy” obscured him seeing the predator within. “The problem isn’t with this other person.” I said. “It’s with you. Until you become more aware of who you are, you’ll never see them for who they really are, appreciate them for the challenge and blessing they bring to your life.”
Unfortunately he never grasped what I was saying, never looked deep enough into himself to see that the way we view others reveals much more about ourselves than it does them.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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Don’t Let the Sun
I was talking with a friend today about being frustrated, irritated, even angry at someone we love. It happens to us all and there’s nothing wrong with being angry if there is a legitimate reason. It’s what we do with that emotion that results in negative consequences. A harsh word becomes hurt feelings, a slammed door becomes a barrier, another flurry of insults adds injuries and a relationship is pulled apart.
Anger is oftentimes the result of ignored stress, built up resentment, unexpressed emotion, lack of communication. One or a combination of these clouds our minds, frays our nerves, drains our emotions, poisons our spirits.
Saint Paul’s wisdom for dealing with anger in his letter to the church in Ephesus is still viable today:
Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another. BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give evil an opportunity.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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The Perfect Moment
How do you recognize the perfect moment? How can you tell if where you are at a certain place, a specific time, is more than coincidence, happenstance? How do you know the difference between divine design and dumb luck? Someone told me this week; “You are where God wants you to be!” They said it with such confidence I was taken aback.
There are those who see the world in black and white, right and wrong, God’s will or God’s wrath, while others live in a space painted with many shades of gray. I am one of the latter. I don’t doubt the conviction of the black and whiters I just question my ability to sift through the layers of motives, the machinations of natural and moral laws, missed, realized and ignored opportunities, perception and preconceived notions, desires dreams and destiny.
I believe the path I walk is uniquely mine though I travel with others. The way is uncertain though many have gone before me. The destination is described by the living but only the dead have arrived there. I have this moment, it is all that is promised me and I ask for the strength to live it well.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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When the Way is Dark
I was talking with a friend earlier this week about a difficult time she’s going through. Someone hurt her, lied and has brought pain and great upheaval into her life. She’s prayed over it, is trying to forgive but clearly the wound is still fresh and deep.
I shared with her my journey and talked about how difficult it can be when people we trust do things that cause us great harm. We agreed that time, grace and a listening ear are all ingredients to forgiveness and finding our path when the way is dark.
A wise person once said; “One day we’ll look back on the people who helped and hurt us and be thankful for them both.” Neither my friend or I have arrived at this point but I was thankful my story could bring solace to one who’s suffering.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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Spoiled
This past Sunday was World Water Day. I read about water related issues across the globe, tweeted a few links and mentioned it on Facebook. Truthfully, however, I didn’t give it much consideration until this morning when I opened up an extra bottle of water that was in my truck, not to drink, to rinse out my coffee mug. As the water spilled onto the ground I remembered those who do not have and I felt shame for my wastefulness and beyond blessed.
I am a white, middle class American male. Much of what I take for granted every day most of the world has little or no access. A lot of what I complain and whine about not having is a dream life to billions of people.
I am spoiled. It is a confession and a prayer to feel the hurt, know the struggle of my brothers and sisters with whom I share this planet.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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Whew!
Busy day! Rushing, running, racing from one place to another. Trying not to be late for meetings and appointments while staying in the present moment is quite a balancing act. I took time to feel the warmth of the sunshine on my face, the cool breeze on my arm while being mindful of the clock that seemed to run fast all day long.
When I finally got home the quietness of the house literally rang in my ears. Silence is loud when you’re accustomed to noise, stillness unsettling when you’ve been in constant motion.
A deep cleansing breath to exhale the dust of the miles I’ve traveled today, a closing of my eyes to forget the clock I’ve watched, a letting go of the schedule I clung to so tightly.
Whew.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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Blessing of Chaos
Let’s hear it for chaos! The confusion and catastrophes we encounter on the road of life. The chasms and canyons we must cross, climb out of, forge and finagle to reach the promise land of peace and contentment.
Change is frightening, fearful and our instinct is to fight and hold on for dear life to what is familiar. We place our faith in what is comfortable, old habits, well known friends, old wine skins stretched and worn.
Chaos. Waves crashing, wind howling, tides pulling us under, we gasp for air, it is life. Going down, drowning, sinking deeper into the unknown abyss we close our eyes and breathe our last.
Chaos, uncertainty, instability. The tidal wave of change sweeps us under and in the depths we find stillness. Lost in the darkness of confusion an unseen path leads us home.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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Breathing in Hope
The bug man came to the house today to spray inside our home and outside to protect future plants and soon to be flowers from pesky predators. It’s another sign that spring is on the way!
I took the dogs to the top of the hill behind our house so they wouldn’t bug the bug man as he did his business. The wind was blowing and the pooches and I stuck our noses in the air taking deep breaths of a new season sweeping in. There’s something about spring, the warm chasing out the cold, the blue skies overcoming the gray, the light increasing as the dark retreats.
Sitting on that hill, filling my lungs with air was like inhaling hope and exhaling the despair of a long, cold winter.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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the Happy Place
Today is International Happy day! If you didn’t realize this you’re not alone. I had no idea until I read about it online.
Being happy can be difficult in a world so full of sadness and badness. Some folks find it difficult, if not impossible, to find the good, when darkness obscures their vision. Trite expressions such as; “don’t worry be happy, turn that frown upside down, you’re as happy as you make up your mind to be,” ring hollow in the ears of those struggling with life circumstances that steal their joy, sap their strength, weigh heavy on their spirits.
For some, at this time in their life, where they are on the journey, happiness isn’t an option. They are simply trying to take the next step, to not give up, to survive.
Happiness, an often desired but elusive emotion, state of mind and being.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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How it Ends
I know someone who’s struggled through a very hard life. We talk about where and how he grew up, the choices others have made to help shape his life and the choices he’s selected. The toxic environment he was born into poisoned much of his childhood and tainted his vision of the world. Much of his current struggles have a lot to do with his complicated and chaotic past.
When we talk I remind him that the book of his life has not been finished. Some of the chapters were written by him and others by different authors but he decides who and what will write the rest.
The obstacles he needs to overcome, the lessons learned, the people left behind, the consequences accepted, will not be easy but it is his choice. He didn’t choose how the story began but he can choose how it ends.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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Good Shoes
This morning I put on my “good shoes” for an important presentation to a group of highly respected people. These are my shiny, black, fancy dress shoes that I wear with one of the few suits I own. I’ve had these shoes for several years but they still hurt my feet because they’re not worn enough to get broken in. Mostly they’ve taken me to weddings, funerals, other important services and events. I’d much rather wear a pair of tennis shoes or flip flops but there are occasions when only my “good shoes” will do.
As I reflect upon my journey over the last year and the places my “good shoes” have accompanied me I realized most have been painful, even heart breaking. I wore them to a service when I said; “goodbye” to friends I loved. They were on my feet when I laid my dear friend Mary to rest.
No one’s ever promised an easy journey and sometimes “good shoes” are required.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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Still Believe?
His life was written in wrinkles on his face and faded tattoos on his arms. As we talked it shocked me to learn he was not much older than I physically but the world had aged him far beyond his years.
He asked me a simple question but it was loaded with uncertainty and resignation; “Can it get better?” The inquiry betrayed his hard outter shell. It revealed a life, a person whose hope had been dashed against the rock of reality, his outlook shaped by dissapointments and pain.
I paused before I answered. A blithe response, a quick anecdote, a dismissive comment could crush an already broken spirit. “Yes,’ I answered, ‘if we keep working, trying, and refuse to believe our story is complete, that there are no more pages to be written.'” He sighed.
We parted ways and I wondered if he’d heard that answer before and I wondered if he still believed.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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Odd Couple
She was a conservatively dressed, hat wearing, gray haired elder. He was an earring dangling, boot stomping, faded jean sporting country boy, a cross between a hipster and Kenny Chesney. They made an incredibly odd pair. Yet, this morning, I watched as he gently helped her up from her seat and walked her down the aisle for morning communion. I couldn’t help but smile and wonder if they were related, this strange mix of people. Then it dawned on me, of course they’re related because we’re all family, one, human.
It’s easy to forget we’re part of the same species. Our differences in skin color, political affiliations, cultures, languages, geographic locations are used by those in power to rip us apart by trying to get us to focus on what separates us.
Wisdom, however, speaks amid the fractious voices and reminds us that what we have in common is far greater than what divides us. The question, as always, will we listen?
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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Secret of Life
There are those days.
The days when it would’ve been easier to stay under the covers and slept than to venture out into the wild world. Those times when you had no idea what was waiting for you in the tall grass, the obstacles you’d encounter on your path or the ones that would get dropped on your head! Days filled with regrets, hurts, problems, whys and why nots, when you question things you did and didn’t do. And at the end of these incredibly frustrating and exhausting days you collapse into the bed hoping you have the strength to rise when a new day dawns.
It is no secret that life isn’t easy and there is no secret to an easy life. However, the secret to making it through life is deciding to try again tomorrow.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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What Our Words Reveal
Last night, in what is a tradition on the “Jimmy Kimmel Live” show, President Barack Obama read mean tweets people have written about him. I’m too old to stay up that late but caught the video on Morning Joe. No matter what side of the political spectrum you reside it’s hard not to be saddened at the mean, spiteful, racist, judgmental words that spill out of people’s mind’s onto their keyboards and published for the whole world to see. I was speaking to a group of people last night and mentioned how the internet can be a good thing by keeping folks connected but it can also be a place for people to hide from the normal consequences of shameful behavior and bad manners.
It has been said that what we do reveals our character but our real selves can also be found in the words we speak. We must be on guard against our speech stoking the fires of hate and dimming the light in an already too dark world.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
