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I Got a Bad Feeling About This

Image result for creepy house in the woods

Yesterday I had a scheduled meeting with a man at his residence. I hadn’t been to the area he lived at before and when I saw his mailbox I noticed his driveway was long and winding, deep into the woods. It was eery as I slowly made my way and then I saw his house, surrounded by dense brush and trees on all sides. The front door faced the woods and I had an uneasy feeling. I got out of the truck and slowly looked around. I wasn’t sure it was the right place until a door to the house opened and he came outside. The man had an odd way of speaking and walking. He invited me into his home but said he needed to tell his mother to put the dogs outside. He spoke to someone on the other side of the door and I told him I would wait until it was taken care of. He came back a few moments later and the dogs were no longer inside. I never saw his mom. The entire time I was in the house I never heard her moving around. Making my way inside the man began to tell me about his collection of chairs. “It’s a wonderful collection of office chairs and recliners!” It was then all the pieces fell into place. An odd man, an invisible mother, a strange collection, alone, in an isolated location? I was in a Law & Order episode!

After looking at the chairs in the living room he took me to the kitchen and showed me more of his collection. “This one is my favorite,’ he said, ‘it’s heavy and so comfortable.” Picking up the chair he let out a small grunt and then asked me to lift it up. Feeling this was all wrong I stepped to the chair, lifted it up and put it down quickly saying; “Yes, that is heavy.” Then he said, in a flat tone; “Sit in it. You’ll die.” My heart began to race and the anxiety which had been growing in me exploded. I sat down fast, stood up and said; “Yes, soft.” He looked at me and asked if I would go to another room to see more of his chairs and that was it. “Nope! I exclaimed, I have another appointment and need to go!” We said our goodbyes as I made my way outside and didn’t stop moving until I got back into the truck and locked the doors.

The strange this is I don’t think the guy was a serial killer. I think his mannerisms were not what I was used to and this set me on a suspicious, weary, possibly paranoid(?) path. I called a friend on the way back into town and told them the story. They said I was lucky to get out of there alive!

As I look back on it today I don’t know what happened yesterday but I do know that we act like those with whom grew up. As adults, we are mirrors of the house we spent our formative years in, reflections of the environment in which we were immersed. This gentleman was, most likely, not dangerous, and the incident was a good reminder not to judge others quickly but to also be aware of your surroundings, your judgments, and adapt accordingly.

blessings,

@BrianLoging

thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #accordingly, #act, #adapt, #adults, #alive, #aware, #dangerous, #formativeyears, #friend, #gentleman, #immersed, #incident, #judge, #judgments, #lookback, #mannerisms, #mirrors, #paranoid, #path, #possibly, #quickly, #reflections, #reminder, #serialkiller, #story, #strange, #surroundings, #suspicious, #weary, Environment

Balancing Act

May 24

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for balance lawn mower hill

Balancing Act –

There is an area in our yard next to the road that is tricky to mow. It is a sharp incline and in order to the get the job done the mower and the rider has to be at a steep angle. When I mow this particular spot in the yard I sit halfway on the seat with my body leaning in the opposite direction of the incline. The balance has to be perfect. Too far off the seat the mower doesn’t sense enough pressure on the seat and shuts off. Don’t lean far enough and there’s a chance the mower and rider could topple over. It’s a twenty-five yard long, difficult and dangerous, balancing act.

Life is also a balancing act. We live in perilous times. All one has to do is turn on the television, log online, and get the sense our families, communities, nations, and world is one mistake from toppling over into a dangerous place and we may not recover.

The problem is balance. Sides are chosen, political parties picked, litmus tests are given, judgments made and those on the other side, even ones seeking a middle way, are labeled as; “the enemy.” I don’t know if we are going to make it back from the edge of disaster but I do know it takes more strength to listen than to ignore, to understand than to shout down, to accept than to reject, to see others as us than ‘less than,’ to find balance than to demand conformity.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Contemplative

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Tags: ##opposite, #accept, #act, #angle, #area, #balance, #Balancing, #blessings, #chance, #chosen, #communities, #conformity, #dangerous, #dangerousplace, #demand, #difficult, #direction, #disaster, #edge, #enemy, #families, #findbalance, #ignore, #judgments, #labeled, #leaning, #lessthan, #life, #litmustests, #middleway, #mistake, #nation's, #otherside, #particular, #parties, #perfect, #perilous, #political, #pressure, #problem, #reject, #road, #seeking, #sense, #sharpincline, #shoutdown, #sides, #steep, #strength, #thewannabesaint.com, #times, #topple, #toppling, #tricky, #understand, @BrianLoging, Listen, World

Part of the Journey

May 14

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for pickup truck on fire

Part of the Journey –

This morning, driving down the interstate, I witnessed two aftermaths of car accidents. The first one was a car that had gone off the highway, up a hill, crashing into a big road sign. There was police personnel on the scene frantically trying to get the doors of the car open to attend to the injured. Not too many miles and minutes later I saw two Fire Department trucks crossing an overhead bridge and taking an on-ramp to the interstate. My question as to “why?” was answered a mile or two up the road when I spotted a pick-up truck, sitting on the side of the road, engulfed in fire! There was no one in the truck but the flames were high, bright orange and the situation was becoming dangerous.

Aside from praying for those involved, I reflected on the reality that none of the people involved, especially the drivers and passengers, woke up this morning and had these incidents on their agenda. I wondered how far down the list of “ways this day would go” until they got to these experiences.

Wisdom teaches that we cannot know or determine what we will encounter on the road of life. There are days when everything works out perfectly. Others when everything seems to go wrong. Most days are somewhere in the middle. No matter what happens, however, we are taught, and hopefully, learn to accept, it’s all part of the journey.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Wisdom

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Tags: #accept, #accidents, #agenda, #answered, #attend, #becoming, #blessings, #bridge, #crashing, #crossing, #dangerous, #determine, #encounter, #experiences, #frantically, #happens, #hopefully, #incidents, #injured, #involved, #journey, #learn, #middle, #open, #part, #particular, #PartoftheJourney, #perfectly, #praying, #question, #reality, #reflected, #roadoflife, #situation, #taught, #teaches, #thewannabesaint.com, #trying, #why, #wisdom, #witnessed, #woke, #wondered, #wrong, @BrianLoging, People

Anticipation

Dec 24

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for no christmas

Anticipation –

There is a noticeable lack of Christmas spirit in my family this year. It’s been a long year as my dad battled cancer and passed away on the first of December. The anticipation of Christmas coming has been replaced with a feeling of; “Is it over yet?” I don’t think it’s Christmas per se’ but we’re anticipating the end of 2017 and 2018 to begin.

Anticipation can be a dangerous state of mind, emotion, and spirit. For all we know, 2018 will be as rough, perhaps more so, than 2017. It’s not a pleasant thought but it is a possibility. This is why wisdom teachers discourage anticipation. Life rarely lives up to what we think, or wish would happen. It’s almost always different and this can be good or bad, negative or positive. When life fails to fill our desires suffering, pain, confusion can occur.

So, my family and many others wait in this no man’s land hoping Christmas will not be too difficult and 2018 will be a better, certainly different, year.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #2017, #2018, #anticipation, #bad, #battled, #begin, #better, #blessings, #cancer, #certainly, #christmas, #confusion, #dangerous, #december, #desires, #different, #discourage, #end, #fails, #feeling, #fulfill, #good, #happen, #hoping, #Isitover, #lack, #life, #livesup, #newyear, #noman'sland, #noticeable, #occurs, #pain, #passed, #pleasant, #positive, #possibility, #rarely, #replaced, #rough, #spirit, #suffering, #teachers, #think, #wait, #wisdom, #wish, #year, Family, Emotion, Mind, Negative, Thought

Flying Off

Dec 11

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for snow off semi

Flying Off –

I spent most of the day traveling. Driving can be dangerous at all times but today especially as I went through Atlanta, Georgia. Over the weekend Mother Nature dumped several inches of snow in the area and though the skies were a crystal blue today and the sun shone brightly the melting snow was flying off the back of some semi-trucks. Huge pieces would be loosened by the sun and the drafts of air as they made their way along the interstate. One second you’re minding your own business the next you’re in a one-sided snowball fight!

Life has a way of giving and taking. I think we’d enjoy the good more if we knew how much the taking would hurt. Life also has a way of covering us with joy and sadness. We bask in the joy but when the sadness envelops us it can seem one-sided, unfair and unwanted.

Accepting life and all it sends us can be as easy as letting the sun shine on our face and as difficult as trying to dodge an unexpected avalanche from a semi but both are required if we are to experience life fully.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #accepting, #air, #Atlanta, #avalanche, #bask, #blessings, #blue, #both, #brightly, #covering, #crystal, #dangerous, #day, #difficult, #dodge, #drafts, #enjoy, #envelops, #experience, #face, #fight, #Flying, #fully, #Georgia, #giving, #Huge, #hurt, #joy, #letting, #life, #loosened, #melting, #minding, #MotherNature, #Off, #one-sided, #own, #pieces, #required, #sadness, #second, #sends, #shine, #snow, #snowball, #sun, #taking, #times, #today, #traveling, #trying, #unexpected, #unfair, #unwanted, #way, Business

Comparisons

Oct 18

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Comparisons –

Someone told me today about a friend they have who is unhappy. This is the opposite of her usual demeanor. By most accounts, she’s always been a go lucky, chipper, satisfied, joyful person. However, in the last several months who mood has changed and the sparkle in her eye has dulled considerably. The person sharing this with me said her friend’s unhappiness with life has increased along with her social media consumption. She’s said; “When I read my friends’ posts on Facebook, look at their pictures on Instagram, see their interactions with countless other folks on Twitter, my life seems rather dull, empty, lacking.”

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard someone relay this type of story to me. Social media can be a wonderful tool and a good way to share select moments of our lives with our friends and family but we must remember the words; SELECT MOMENTS. Those inspirational posts on Facebook often come from a book or web page of quotes. The beautiful pictures on Instagram don’t show the before and after of getting ready to take the photo and recovering from it. Twitter can be an okay place to exchange ideas but more often its people shouting their opinions at each other.

Comparisons can be dangerous, especially on social media. Most of what we see on these platforms are illusions. They rarely give us a real glimpse of who a person is and what their life is truly like. We have to be careful comparing our life, which we know intimately, with another’s snapshots of theirs. Our life may seem bland, our thoughts benign, our family and friendships boring, but that’s okay. Most of the time, if we were to see what a Facebook friend’s life is like, or the reality behind a Twitter account, or the other moments when everyone isn’t smiling on Instagram we might decide our life is good and worthy of our thanks.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: # moments, #after, #before, #benign, #bland, #boring, #careful, #comparing, #Comparisons, #dangerous, #decide, #dull, #empty, #exchange, #Facebook, #friends, #glimpse, #ideas, #illusions, #inspirational, #interactions, #intimately, #lacking, #life, #opinions, #pictures, #platforms, #rarely, #recovering, #select, #share, #shouting, #snapshots, #socialmedia, #thanks, #tool, #Twitter, #wonderful, #worthy, Family, Instagram, quotes

Expecting

Oct 7

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for zen thought of the day

Expecting –

It is so had to do, acting without expecting. Two plus two equals four but life is not mathematics. One action does not necessarily equal an expected result.

Several years ago I was on staff at a large organization and following a particularly long meeting I was among a group of members talking in a hallway. The conversation didn’t last long but I said something in passing that hurt the feelings of a fellow staff member. I didn’t realize it until that evening when I received a long email about what I had said and done. It took me by complete surprise. I sent an email back immediately apologizing and promising to be more careful with my words and received another email outlining other things I had done that this staff member found irritating and insulting. Again, I apologized and began looking at my words and behavior to see if I could find all of these faults. I didn’t agree with everything this staff member wrote but I felt they deserved enough respect from me to pray for greater self-awareness in all my interactions.

This is why expectations can be so dangerous. We may know, or hope we know, our intentions as we develop and cultivate relationships, make our way with others along this path called life. We may not wish to hurt others or offend them. Our life can be about peace and kindness but it may not always be perceived that way. We must purposefully live well but not expect our lives to be beyond questioning. When we make a mistake or someone is hurt by something we have done, even if we believed we acted innocently, we seek forgiveness and restoration so that our lives match the intent of our hearts.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #agree, #believed, #beyond, #cultivate, #dangerous, #deserved, #develop, #expect, #expectations, #forgiveness, #greater, #hearts, #hope, #hurt, #innocently, #intent, #intentions, #interactions, #kindness, #life, #mistake, #offend, #path, #perceived, #pray, #purposefully, #questioning, #respect, #restoration, #self-awareness, #way, #wish, Peace, Relationships

Wrong Way

Sep 5

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Wrong Way –

This morning, on my way to Bedford, Tennessee, I took a wrong turn, went the wrong way. It wasn’t the wrong street. I knew exactly where I was, where the road would take me, but today was the wrong time to travel it.

Some way, somehow, I missed the; “Road Work Ahead” sign. About a quarter of a mile down the road I had to steer around a large road roller. Then I came upon a road grader who was spreading sand. The sand was thick and difficult to drive through. Then, around the corner, there was a dump truck, in the middle of the road, putting sand on it. I stopped and realized I had made a mistake making the turn and traveling this road. I turned around in someone’s driveway, made my way past the grader and the roller and back to the main highway. I reset my GPS and continued on road less impeded by giant machines.

Wisdom teaches us that not every way, even the familiar ones, are always open to us. Some roads are closed off to us and missing the signs can make the way difficult and dangerous.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #closed, #dangerous, #difficult, #familiar, #missing, #open, #roads, #signs, #teaches, #wisdom

Rain

Sep 1

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Rain –

For the last few days, we have had a lot of rain. It’s remnants of Hurricane Harvey the horrendous storm which slammed into parts of Texas earlier this week leaving devastation in its wake. Most of the morning and afternoon I have listened to the rain fall on the tin roof of our porch. It’s a mesmerizing and relaxing melody. There is a wisdom proverb which says; “Some people feel the rain other simply get wet.” I am of the former variety. I feel rain, storms, overcast skies. There are times when a rainy day is nourishment to my soul. It’s like the water falling from the sky is landing on my parched spirit and bringing needed comfort and nourishment. In other seasons the overcast clouds and rain dampen my motivation and put me in a trance where I get nothing done.

“Without rain, the flower does not grow.”
-Wisdom Proverb

Like the flowers, trees, bushes, and grass we need rain in our lives. We need times of growth and blossoming. However, too much rain, as Houston and other Texas areas dealing with Hurricane Harvey’s aftermath, can drown, devastate, and destroy.

Rain, like life, can be beautiful and dangerous.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #beautiful, #blossoming, #comfort, #dampen, #dangerous, #desire, #destroy, #devastate, #drown, #grow, #growth, #motivation, #nourishment, #parched, #rain, #seasons, #spirit, #storms, #wisdom, proverb, Soul

Never Alone

Jul 21

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Never Alone –

Yesterday I wrote an anxious post about going to the dentist (https://thewannabesaint.com/2016/07/20/an-anxious-word/). Everything turned out okay. The procedure went fine. I explained to the doctor when I met him a few months ago about my claustrophobia and anxiety disorder. He was more than understanding and went out of his way to make sure I was comfortable. He even allowed Beth to come in to the room stand by my side when I was struggling to stay in the chair during the most painful and invasive part of the surgery. When Beth and I arrived home I crawled in the bed and have slept most of the last two days.

In between my drug induced naps I’ve thought about Beth and the dentist giving me all of the support I needed while going through this traumatic event. They both asked me often; “If I was doing okay? Did I need to take break? Was I okay to continue?” They knew it was my hardship to endure but they made sure I knew I was never alone.

Often times people we love and care for experience dangerous and debilitating seasons and moments. Our first desire is to take their pain away, battle their demons for them. However, most times we don’t have the ability to suffer in their place. What we can do is be there, for as long as they need, find out what we can to help and do it. Above all, by our presence and prayers let them know they are never alone.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: #ability, #battle, #care, #dangerous, #debilitating, #demons, #experience, #neveralone, #prayers, #presence, #seasons, #suffer, #taketheirpainaway, love

TheWannabeSaint.com

…..a place for sojourners on this spiritual path called life

Blog Archives

I Got a Bad Feeling About This

Balancing Act

Part of the Journey

Anticipation

Flying Off

Expecting

Wrong Way

Rain

Never Alone

Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

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TheWannabeSaint.com

…..a place for sojourners on this spiritual path called life

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Brian Loging, OSBO

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