Blog Archives

The Disease of Busyness

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The Disease of Busyness

Yesterday I attended a webinar on the importance of silence in the discipline of mindfulness. The two speakers, both doctors of psychology, wrote their thesis on the; “the silence in between” the notes in music. These pauses in between are just as important as the notes which are being played.

Too often we construct our lives with what we think makes us successful or at least look the part. We craft an existence that has no place for silence. We believe busyness is a sign of importance. Eugene Peterson says; “Busyness is the disease of our time.”

When there is no place for silence, reflection, taking the time to breathe in quiet and breathe out the noise which pollutes our lives we die on the inside, in the deepest parts of our being where only silence can fill.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Honk!

Honk! –

This morning, on my way to an appointment, I was driving and approached a side road with a truck and car stopped. At my speed and proximity to both vehicles, I figured they would wait until I passed. The truck began pulling out in front of me and I immediately took my foot off the gas and thought; “You don’t have a lot of room there friend!” I slid my foot back to the gas pedal because there was no way the car would go…it did! “Not smart!” I thought as I hit the brake with my foot and the horn with my hand. What he did wasn’t safe and I wanted him to know I was not happy. I don’t blow the horn often simply because you don’t know what people will do. I’ve seen too many news reports of road rage and you take a chance each time you honk your disapproval at someone’s driving. I watched to make sure the driver wouldn’t turn around but I’m not sure he even knew what he did wrong.

Continuing down the road I reflected on the need for honking, the need for all of us to be told when we do something wrong, unsafe, not smart. Similar to hesitating to honk we are often too timid, concerned with the other’s reaction, offending and ticking off the receiver to give a reprimand when it’s appropriate.

The truth is that each of us makes mistakes, could do a better job at times, don’t look before we leap, and need to be held accountable for the consequences of our decisions. It’s never fun to realize we did something wrong. Too often we equate mistakes and missteps with failure. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. Correction, discipline aren’t meant to keep us from trying again but to teach us a better way so that we can succeed the next time.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

What We Know

What We Know

Wisdom begins when we realize we know nothing.

Philosophers tell us that everything changes, doesn’t stay the same. Mountains wear down, skies fall, mighty trees topple and the greatest among people are but a wisp of wind, sound, and fury signifying nothing.

Reducing our ego is one of the hardest wisdom disciplines. One of my favorite wisdom proverbs says; “Take compliments and criticisms with equal value.” Too often we believe the good and ignore the not so good. It’s easy to focus on what others like about us. We wrap ourselves in the words of friends, families, even those whose positivity drips off their tongue like poison, people who see us mere objects to use to further their objectives. Ego builds us up only to be pulled out from under us by someone with a bigger, stronger ego. We fight back and when one take on another, no one wins and out of control egos only destroy never heal.

Humility is wisdom’s greatest and most difficult lesson. Saying; “No” to puffery and stroking; “Yes” to a self-awareness that leads us to a place where our egos are not bruised, or quickly heal, from a careless word, a selfish act, a purposeful plan to defame, defraud, demolish. Wisdom tells us; “Smaller egos take less time to heal because the wound isn’t as big.”

Socrates once said; “There is true joy (bliss) when we realize we know, and are, nothing.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannebsaint.com

What You Always Do

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What You Always Do

This morning the Mrs. popped a hash-brown type frozen breakfast into the microwave. I knew she’d want ketchup so I got some out of the refrigerator and shook it up. She saw me do this, yet when I handed her the bottle before she put any on her plate, she shook it up again. I asked her; “Why’d you shake it when you saw me do it?” “It’s what I always do” she replied. She sat down and ate her breakfast and somehow the topic of praying before your meal, saying; “Grace or blessing” came up. Both of us shared which family members did and didn’t pray before each meal and whether or not their kids continued the discipline as they got older, were passing the practice along.

Wisdom tells us to acquire a habit it must be repeated. We must be conditioned to start and maintain a way of doing things. One of the truths I share with my clients is; “If you do what you always do, you get what you always get. However, if you choose to do it differently you open yourself up to a whole new world and the possibility of being a new person.” A good reminder for us all.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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P.O.S’s

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P.O.S.’s

Beth and I spent most of the day taking care of P.O.B’s (Piles of Beth or Brian). It’s those ever-increasing places at home that seem to collect stuff we put down when we come in the door, lay down when our hands are full, place somewhere; “only for a moment.” However, before you know it a couple of months have gone by and we’ve continued to add, never subtract, from the piles and they seem to take over the house. So today we began tackling them, going through, getting rid of what’s now not needed, putting up what is actually still useful in our lives.

As we worked from room to room we also talked about things which we could’ve conversed about weeks ago but hadn’t. We teased each other, laughed and broached topics that were sensitive and allowed ourselves to be vulnerable, not defensive.

Wisdom tells us that our lives can quickly become P.O.S.’s (piles of stuff). They fill our minds and lives, clutter our spirits and if we’re not diligent, suffocate the light by which we navigate. It’s not easy to sort through the messes but living with the chaos proves much harder the longer we try and exist in the junk and confusion.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Mind Your Feet

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Minding Your Feet

Earlier today I stopped to get gas. I got out of the truck, inserted my bank card into the machine slot, chose my fuel type and began to pump. As I stood there I thought I might as well put my wallet back in my bag and began stepping over the hose which was connected to my truck and the pump. As I tried this, which I’ve done dozens if not hundreds of times, somehow one foot or both feet got caught on the hose and down I went. WHACK! right onto the cement. It happened so fast I don’t remember much but I must’ve screamed when I started to fall because a kind gentleman stopped to see if I was ok. I assured him I was although I wasn’t actually sure. My arm was hurting but my pride was hurting more at that particular moment. I finished getting gas, gingerly climbed back in the truck and have been nursing my right arm, which took the brunt of the fall, ever since.

It was a painful reminder not to get ahead of ourselves as we walk the road of life. When I went to put my stuff in the cab I just assumed I had cleared the hose instead of looking to make sure. Minding our feet is imperative if we want to stay upright, keep going and make it home.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Space in Between

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Space in Between

It is such difficult discipline; pausing before you react. A man I had worked with in jail has popped up at twice at a rehabilitation center where I lecture. It’s common to see the men I work with in one place again in another. Many who have addictions have a difficult road staying clean and multiple jail sentences and rehab stays are not out of the ordinary.

He spotted me before I saw him and made a beeline to where I was to say he was there. I asked him the question’ “What are you doing here?” and before he could answer I said; “Have you been making good choices?” He shook his head no and we chatted a little about what he’s been up to. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to talk with him following the lecture due to the tight schedule they keep at the rehab center.

In all my classes and one on one sessions, I talk about the discipline of; “the space in between.” It is the wisdom lesson that when something happens, an action, we have space between and before we give a reaction. The smaller the space between action and reaction the greater chance our reaction will be negative. The larger the space in between the greater the chance our reaction produces a positive result.

In a world where people too often speak and act without thinking, we are reaping a local, national and global community torn apart. We don’t stop and reflect on how what we say, what we do, has positive and too often negative consequences.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Old Dogs, New Tricks

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Old Dog, New Trick

I just witnessed our Siberian Husky, Trooper, suppress a desire he almost always embraces. Our property is next to a piece of property which belongs to a church. A family was at the church and a little girl bolted out a door and began to run across the property. Trooper was a mere 30 feet from the little one and I ran towards him as soon as I spied the girl. I knew what was going to happen.

I knew what was going to happen. Trooper was going to run after her and most likely scare her, trip her, run all around her, sniffing, wanting to play. He has done it before, more than a few times, and it’s always frightening for all involved. I yelled; “Trooper, no! No! No!” He never moved, was perfectly still and when I called to him, he looked at the running girl, paused, and came trotting over to me. I praised him for being a good dog and he’ll have a special treat with his dinner tonight.

The old saying goes; “You can’t teach an old dog a new trick.” This may be true but I witnessed today a dog who’s learned a lesson he’s been taught for a long time and it seems to finally have sunk in.

Perhaps there’s hope for me and others as well.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Intersections of Life

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Intersections of Life

On my way to the county jail, there is a long stretch of highway that has only one traffic signal which hangs about midway to the jail. There are flashing lights which tell drivers to prepare to stop. Each time I approach this intersection I begin to look for the flashing lights. I know that if I get past the sign with the flashing lights I don’t have to worry about the traffic signal turning red and having to stop. This afternoon I approached the sign, it never flashed me and I was able to sail on through the traffic light.

After finishing my class at the jail I had to run and errand and I turned on the road which would take me to my destination. It wasn’t long before some flashing lights caught my attention. They were warning me of construction ahead and to be ready for delays. It only seemed like forever until I was able to make it through this particular intersection.

It seems the road of life has a way of balancing out. For every unexpected joy, there is sorrow. For unplanned blessings there are hardships. For every intersection you sail through another one will take and test your patience.

The secret isn’t figuring out how to hit all the lights green, non-flashing, but to accept both with equal measure. It’s not an easy discipline to learn but one which will relieve much suffering.

blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com

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Memories and a Christmas Cactus

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Memories and a Christmas Cactus

My riend Mary, before she passed away, gave us a Christmas cactus. This year it’s finally bloomed. The simple beauty reminds me of her. My Facebook places memories on my start page and two days ago they were of the winter we brought Mary up to our house in Pennsylvania and she stayed with us for the winter. Mary, it seems, is making her presence known to us this Christmas season.

My wife had a birthday yesterday and we had a fun time joking she was rolling down the hill to a big age milestone. We also talked seriously of life and its quick passing. Death, whenever it comes, is closer than ever.

Wisdom teaches us to number our days. This is not a morbid discipline but a joyous one. Each day is precious, not one is to be taken for granted. We are to enjoy and embrace every day as a gift, like the Christmas cactus blooms and pictures which seem from a lifetime ago.

blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com

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Blessed or Cursed

Life is never predictable.

I was talking with someone yesterday about having “blinders” on when it comes to certain people. Some folks we see in a mostly positive light. We emphasize the good, minimize the bad, expect the best and see their potential. For others it’s the opposite. We are blind to their goodness. They are viewed by us in a mostly negative way. We don’t expect the best, focus on their weaknesses, anticipate what and how badly they’ll mess up, hurt us and take advantage of our generosity.

Blinders often come from good relationships or broken ones. We put them on and rarely question if we see the whole picture as it pertains to certain people, cultures and our worldview.

The discipline of viewing life as blessed rather than cursed can be one of the hardest and most important wisdom lessons we learn and put into practice. This is true especially when our journey has been difficult and we’ve seen “more than our share” of heartache, pain and loss. To look for the good, the beautiful, the “miracle” of everyday life influences each breath and every moment.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Desire to Please

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This morning I was talking with someone about the lack of follow through in certain disciplines which accompany our religious faith. The basic question was; “I try to pray and read the Bible but sometimes I’m not as focused as I should be. My mind wanders, I become distracted by the day’s worries. Have I disappointed God?”

I shared the story of my friend Mary who passed away a couple years ago. She’s what many would call a; “Prayer Warrior.” However, toward the end of her life, when praying at night, she would often fall asleep. This brought her intense guilt and she confessed it to me one day. I smiled and told her not to feel ashamed; “What better way to end your day then being held by the Father as you whisper your cares and love into His ear?

One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite authors, Thomas Merton, says in part; “I may not know always how to please you my Lord, but let my wanting to please you, please you.”

Blessings ,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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The Space Between

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Some people drive us crazy! Others makes us want to put our fists, or heads, through a wall. For whatever reason there are folks who rub us the wrong way, frustrate, anger and cause us to react in ways we don’t want to or would normally do. However, we find our words and actions harsh, brash, careless, harmful and detrimental to connection and harmony.

It is especially important, as we deal with people with whom we struggle finding common ground, to remember the discipline of the “space in between”. This practice centers on the realization that there can be, should be, a pause between what happens to us and our response. This gap is used to measure our words, evaluate our actions and choose those which do not harm ourselves or the other.

A lesson wisdom tries to teach us that, if learned, will save us a great deal of regret and heartache.

Blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

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