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Perfection or Progression

Perfection or Progression

A difficult discipline to master is self-awareness. It is when you are aware of the good and the not so good, the skills you possess and the ones which need work. The biases, skewed vision, different experiences, which make you the uniquely flawed individual like the rest of humanity.

Some of the men I work with have begun to develop this discipline and it is hard for them to see themselves as they truly are, with no excuses. It is especially for those who thought of themselves as good partners and fathers only to discover they have a lot of work to do. If we’re not careful these revelations can do more harm than good because the road seems terribly long. They may even ask; “Why try?

Along with self-awareness, another discipline I try to teach is the truth of progression, not perfection. Oftentimes when we see ourselves, perhaps for the first time, we also envision the amount of hard work inside of ourselves out outside. We have this perfect view of what we want to be and what we think our family, friends, and others want us to be. We throw all of our efforts into becoming this perfect version of ourselves, which doesn’t exist and isn’t attainable, and never come close. We fail miserably.

This is why the path to peace and acceptance is progression, not perfection. We are never going to be the idealized version of what we think we want and should be. We will only wear ourselves out and down. To pursue progression doesn’t mean there isn’t hard work to be done but we recognize the realization of our true selves is found on the journey and not at the end of it.

Perfection or progression, the difference makes all the difference.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Strained

Strained

I have a strained, pulled, hurt a muscle. The good thing is it’s one on my back next to my shoulder-blade so I only use it…all the time! I have no idea how I hurt the muscle. I haven’t done anything differently the last few days and yet it has been giving me fits. It’s the sort of strained muscle you only notice when you are lifting, pulling, picking up, putting on a shirt or reaching. When I’m sitting and relatively still I almost forget it’s there until I use it.

I was thinking about a person this week whom I knew long ago. It really does seem it was another life. There was a strain in our relationship. It was painful and awkward. To this day I’m not sure how it became so bad. When I was in the middle of it I often thought it was their fault but now that I am older and think I know myself better I see my part in it. It was both of us. It didn’t always show itself. We both made efforts but when any pressure was put on the relationship it was evident and hurtful.

I sometimes wonder if speaking again after this time of being apart from each other would help heal the rift. I’m not sure. It might only bring the differences and damaged parts to the surface. So, for now, I will rest my shoulder and my anxious mind and trust healing will come.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Like a Falling Napkin

Like a Falling Napkin

Sunday morning I made a cup of coffee and put some bread in the toaster. While waiting I went to grab a napkin out of the holder. However, I ended up grabbing several napkins instead of just one. The sides of the dispenser snagged them and losing my grip they began to fall to the floor. I grasped at one and then another but they had opened up and were dropping in unpredictable patterns. Every one of them evaded my grip and fell to the floor. An exasperated laugh escaped me as I thought about my uncoördinated attempt and looking life a big butterfly having a spasm.

As I picked up my mess and went back into the kitchen I reflected on the truth that life can be like the falling napkins. There are seasons, moments when we’re trying to get a grip on what’s happening and in spite of all of our efforts we end up with nothing. Life can be elusive. Events, difficulties, trying times come our way and we want to grab onto something but find ourselves flailing and then surrounded by a mess.

When, not if, this happens a sense of humor, picking up the pieces and the willingness to keep going can make all the difference.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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