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Firsts

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Firsts –

Today was a great day for working in the yard. The sun stayed behind thin clouds, a breeze kept one from getting too warm and no rain. As I mowed, trimmed, collected trash and went to the dump, helped my wife with the flowers, I reflected on a friend who’s going to an event tonight for the first time since her life changed dramatically several months ago. I know, in part, what she’s feeling. In 2014 my life irrevocably morphed into something I didn’t recognize anymore. After the trauma its difficult to try to find your way back to balance, peace and growth. It’s been four years for me and I am still waiting for the dust to settle.

The first year might be the most demanding and punishing. It is a “year of firsts.” Life goes on no matter how much you want it to stop so you can catch your breath. Things keep moving and you feel run over. The firsts keep coming; anniversaries, special days, holidays, birthdays, events, occasions, and there’s no ignoring them. It is a challenge to try and can be heartbreaking when the healing wound is punctured again. You hope, pray, you’ll be able to make it.

Wisdom teaches us that a humble spirit, good friends, and patience are the way to a new kind of wholeness and acceptance.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #acceptance, #balance, #blessings, #catchyourbreath, #challenge, #changeddramatically, #difficult, #dusttosettle, #event, #findyourway, #Firsts, #friend, #goodfriends, #growth, #healing, #heartbreaking, #hope, #humblespirit, #ignoring, #irrevocably, #keepmoving, #lifegoeson, #morphed, #mostdemanding, #occasions, #patience, #pray, #punctured, #punishing, #recognize, #reflected, #shes feeling, #specialdays, #stillwaiting, #teaches, #thewannabesaint.com, #trauma, #wholeness, #wisdom, #wound, #yearoffirsts, @BrianLoging, anniversaries, birthdays, Events, Holidays, Peace

Hope for the Future

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Hope for the Future –

There’s nothing like opening a box full of stuff to get people’s attention. This morning I was at the office early because I had several boxes of children’s books to sort and inventory. We are having reading events for dads and their kids in the next few months and the books for these came in last week. They were colorful with big bold letters and wonderful pictures of dinosaurs, bears, monsters, children with their parents, llamas, and fantastical creatures.

As we inventoried these books I couldn’t help but think back to my childhood and books I read or had read to me. Reading is essential for any child’s long-term success. If you can read you can do almost anything you put your mind to. These books could spark a love of learning in a child’s heart that will benefit them and humanity and that’s awesome.

I also sighed as I thought of many people today who squander the gift of reading and learning, using it to reinforce and fortify their opinions, position on social and religious issues, instead of allowing the written word to open them up to new ideas, the discovery of concepts, notions, theories, and truths never conceived.

Here’s hoping our children are better learning pioneers than those who’ve come before.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #allowing, #attention, #awesome, #better, #bigboldletters, #blessings, #boxfull, #childhood, #children, #childrensbooks, #colorful, #conceived, #concepts, #discovery, #fortify, #gift, #help, #HopefortheFuture, #hoping, #humanity, #issues, #learning, #long-termsuccess, #newideas, #notions, #Opening, #opinions, #pioneers, #positions, #putyourmindto, #reading, #Readingisessential, #reinforce, #sighed, #social, #squander, #theories, #thewannabesaint.com, #think, #wonderful, #writtenword, @BrianLoging, Events, Religious

Spoiler Free

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Spoiler Free –

I spoiled a television show for someone. I didn’t mean to. We were listing what shows we liked and followed and she mentioned one in particular. I told her it was a good show and the way she talked about the episodes and the people and certain situations I thought she was on season two when in fact she was still working her way through the first season. I said; “Can you believe he killed that guy?” and all I received in return was a blank stare. My stomach dropped and I knew what I had done and there was no way out of it. “I am so sorry. I thought, from the way you were talking, you knew this! Again, I am so sorry!” She said it was; “okay” but I know from having television or streaming shows and movies spoiled for me it just isn’t the same when something shocking happens and you know its coming.

I was talking with another parent a couple of weeks ago about children. We agreed that life is anything but a spoiler. Twins, raised in the same way, can turn out completely different. Situations, events happen to one group of people and they all react differently. We are in every way a unique creation never to be repeated. Yet, at times, we give out advice like we know what’s going to happen. A person comes to us with a problem and instead of listening and simply being present we say; “Oh! That’s happened to me. Here’s what you should do.” We think, speak and act as if we have the answers to a problem we’ve never encountered before.

Wisdom teaches us to be careful with advice and to respect the one of a kind journey we all travel together.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #act, #agreed, #answers, #beingpresent, #blankstare, #blessings, #careful, #certainsituations, #creation, #different, #differently, #dropped, #encountered, #followed, #groupofpeople, #instead, #journey, #life, #listening, #mentioned, #nevertoberepeated, #nowayout, #oneofakind, #parent, #problem, #react, #received, #respect, #shockinghappens, #simply, #situations, #sorry, #speak, #spoiled, #spoiler, #Spoilerfree, #stomach, #teaches, #thewannabesaint.com, #think, #together, #unique, #wisdom, @BrianLoging, advice, Events, Travel

Storms Pass By

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Storms Pass By –

I stood on my porch a few moments ago watching the skies turn gray and the wind blow. I had received a weather warning earlier that thunderstorms were headed our way. I was excited because we need the rain. It was a wet late winter and early spring but it has been dry lately. However, the wind picked up and the skies became darker but no rain. Now it is sunny outside. More waiting and hand watering our plants and trees this evening.

Interesting how life works. There are actually storms we hope for and need and those from which we seek respite. I read an article this afternoon about “Introversion Hangovers.” These occur when an introvert becomes overstimulated by too much time around extroverts, events, experiences. Afterward, they require a time of recuperation. Introverts need a quiet, space and the opportunity to rest. For me, this subdue weekend has been that after a busy past couple of weeks. I am thankful the rhythm of life can, hopefully, get back to normal.

Storms come and go, impact us or miss us all together. Wherever we find ourselves may we also find peace.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannebsaint.com

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Tags: # moments, #blessings, #busy, #excited, #experiences, #Extroverts, #findourselves, #findpeace, #headed, #hope, #hopefully, #impact, #interesting, #IntroversionHangover, #introvert, #life, #missus, #need, #normal, #opportunity, #overstimulated, #passed, #quiet, #rain, #rainfall, #received, #recuperation, #require, #respite, #rest, #rhythmoflife, #seek, #space, #stimulus, #storm, #storms, #StormsPass, #thankful, #thewannebsaint.com, #time, #waiting, #warning, #watching, #watering, #way, @BrianLoging, Article, Events, Weather

What You Hear, What You See

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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What You Hear, What You See –

The new debate that is dividing the nation is no longer pro-Trump or Never Trump, democrat or republican, progressive or conservative, not even black and blue dress or white and gold dress. The division now is whether you hear; “Laurel” or “Yanny” when you play the following audio clip; (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDiXQl7grPQ). The numbers are almost even, 53% to 47%.

As I listened to the audio file and the scientific reason behind what and why we hear a certain word I also began reflecting on our brains and how they interpret information. There’s a quote that reads; “You’re unique just like everyone else.” It’s funny but also true. Not one person on this planet has lived the same life. We are all on this path called life but in different, never walked on before places.

I read an article last week about the “version” of ourselves we want others to see and how its impossible to successfully project this image to another. The problem is each person has experienced a myriad of choices, events, experiences, that have shaped who they are and how they see people. In other words, people see us mostly because of who they are not who we try to be. As many people as we know there are this many “versions” of ourselves.

The question isn’t “Laurel or Yanny?” but why do we spend so much time trying to be someone other than ourselves?

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness, Wisdom

Tags: #audio, #audiofile, #before, #behind, #blackandbluedress, #blessings, #brains, #certain, #choices, #clip, #conservative, #debate, #democrat, #different, #dividing, #division, #even, #experienced, #experiences, #funny, #hear, #image, #impossible, #information, #interpret, #Laurel, #life, #listened, #myriad, #nation, #never, #NeverTrump, #numbers, #path, #planet, #pro-Trump, #problem, #progressive, #project, #question, #quote, #reason, #reflecting, #republican, #scientific, #shaped, #spend, #successfully, #thewannabesaint.com, #time, #true, #unique, #version, #walked, #WhatYouHear, #WhatYouSee, #whiteandgolddress, #Yanny, @BrianLoging, Events

Unseen

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Unseen –

Last Saturday I was bitten by something. Not sure what it was but when I took a shower in the afternoon a section of my arm was tender to the touch. I looked at the affected area, showed it to Beth, and came to the conclusion it was most likely a spider bite. What’s interesting is I have no idea when I was bitten. I cleaned out a cluttered shed, picked up tree limbs, worked on a plumbing issue under a deck, and visited the local dump. All of these could have been the place where I was bitten. I’ve kept a close eye on the bite and after a day of swelling, there is only a bruise. I will continue to monitor it.

I was reading an article today about how our childhoods shape us. We are, in part, products of our genes, cultures, families, neighborhoods and overall environments. Some people have spotty memories of their childhoods. They can recall certain events and experiences but its hard to put them all together. Others have vivid memories or feelings about things that happened to them when they were young. As we get older, where we grew up, how we grew up, what happened to us, reveals itself. Healthy childhoods often mean healthy adults. Hard, troubled, traumatic childhoods can lead to difficult adult lives. We may even feel our childhoods were happy and peaceful growing up only to realize as we get older there are unseen, unknowable, memories, experiences, and events that have caused unhealthy behaviors and coping skills. We may not remember but that doesn’t mean we aren’t impacted.

Who we are, what we become, have much to do with how we adapt, overcome and accept all part of our lives.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mental Health

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Tags: ##continue, ##swelling, #accept, #adapt, #adults, #affected, #area, #become, #behaviors, #bitten, #blessings, #bruise, #certain, #childhoods, #cleaned, #closeeye, #cluttered, #conclusion, #copingskills, #cultures, #environments, #experiences, #families, #feelings, #genes, #grewup, #Growingup, #happy, #hard, #healthy, #idea, #impacted, #interesting, #memories, #monitor, #neighborhoods, #older, #overall, #overcome, #peaceful, #pickedup, #products, #realize, #recall, #reveals, #section, #shape, #spiderbite, #spotty, #tender, #thewannabesaint.com, #touch, #traumatic, #troubled, #Under, #unhealthy, #unseen, #visited, #vivid, #whathappenedtous, #worked, #young, @BrianLoging, Article, Events, Lead

How Could He?

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

How Could He?

Here is Tennessee and even across America, there is a question that is on many people’s mind; “Why did the father of a five-year-old Autistic boy beat his son to death and then hide his body? How could this father then claim the boy had wandered off and allowed law enforcement officials, volunteers, and others to search areas near his home for three days thinking the boy was alive?” (http://fox17.com/news/local/dad-beat-son-joe-clyde-daniels-to-death-hid-his-body-in-remote-area-affidavit) Its horrible, vile, evil, confusing, and no matter the answers they will not satisfy a grieving family and community.

The next two days I will be training to be a trainer in Adverse Childhood Experiences. According to “SAMSHA (Substance Abuse Mental Health Agency) describes “Adverse childhood experiences or (ACEs)” as stressful or traumatic events, including abuse and neglect. They may also include household dysfunction such as witnessing domestic violence or growing up with family members who have substance use disorders. ACEs are strongly related to the development and prevalence of a wide range of health problems throughout a person’s lifespan, including those associated with substance misuse. ACEs include: Physical abuse, Sexual abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical neglect, Emotional neglect, Intimate partner violence, Mother treated violently, Substance misuse within a household, Household mental illness, Parental separation or divorce, Incarcerated household member.”(https://www.samhsa.gov/capt/practicing-effective-prevention/prevention-behavioral-health/adverse-childhood-experiences)

Put simply; what happens to one when growing up impacts that individual’s behavior, physical and mental health as adults. It changes the question from; “Why or How could you?’ to ‘What happened to you?” The difference is all the difference. It allows for context and the ability to understand, not approve, why a person would do something incredibly harmful to others or to themselves by researching their backgrounds, cultural, community, familial and social environments.

It will be a challenging and difficult two days especially in light of the tragedy that unfolded over the past week. However, only when our emotional and intellectual biases are confronted can we move beyond them to greater wisdom and knowledge.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mental Health

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Tags: ##witnessing, #ability, #abuse, #ACES, #adults, #Adverse, #AdverseChildhoodExperiences. #SAMSHA, #alive, #allowed, #allows, #answers, #approve, #associated, #Autistic, #backgrounds, #beat, #behavior, #beyond, #biases, #blessings, #body, #challenging, #changes, #childhood, #claim, #confronted, #confusing, #context, #cultural, #death, #development, #difference, #difficult, #divorce, #domestic, #dysfunction, #emotional, #Emotionalabuse, #Emotionalneglect, #environments, #evil, #experiences, #familial, #familymembers, #five-year-old, #greater, #grieving, #Growingup, #happens, #harmful, #healthproblems, #hide, #horrible, #household, #Householdmentalillness, #HowCouldHe, #impacts, #incarcerated, #include, #incredibly, #individuals, #intellectual, #Intimatepartnerviolence, #knowledge, #lawenforcement, #lifespan, #light, #mental, #mother, #move, #neglect\, #officials, #Parentalseparation, #persons, #physical, #Physicalabuse, #Physicalneglect, #prevalence, #question, #related, #researching, #satisfy, #search, #Sexualabuse, #simply, #social, #Stressful, #strongly, #SubstanceAbuseMentalHealthAgency, #substancemisuse, #substanceusedisorders, #thewannabesaint.com, #Tragedy, #trainer, #training, #traumatic, #treated, #understand, #unfolded, #vile, #violence, #violently, #volunteers, #wandered, #Whathappened, #widerange, #wisdom, @BrianLoging, Family, Community, Events, father, Health, Home, Mind

Remains

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Remains –

On Saturday, while burning some debris in the yard, I went to grab a stick which was near the fire but not burning. My intention was to put it in a more advantageous position. However, as I grabbed the still cool end of the stick a single burning piece of ash fell right where I placed my thumb. I quickly dropped the stick and began shaking my whole hand the way someone does when they burn themselves. For the past several days I have had a reminder of the encounter, a blister on my right thumb.

The blister is a reminder of the randomness of life. A second earlier or later and I probably wouldn’t have burned myself. In the same way, we often see the haphazard events of our lives. A moment before or after and there’s no car accident or more or fewer injuries in it. A doctor’s appointment a month or two earlier or later and a disease is detected or too far advanced to undergo treatments. A moment premature or delayed and we miss a relationship we cherish or disdain.

Whatever life brings our way there are remains that stay with us. Whether positive or negative who can tell? The most we can do is be aware, open to new experiences and cautiously protecting our souls.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #accident, #advanced, #advantageous, #after, #appointment, #ash, #aware, #before, #blessings, #blister, #brings, #burned, #burning, #car, #cautious, #cherish, #cool, #debris, #delayed, #detected, #disdain, #disease, #dropped, #earlier, #encounter, #enough, #experiences, #fewer, #fire, #grab, #grabbed, #haphazard, #injuries, #intention, #later, #life, #lives, #miss, #month, #more, #near, #new, #open, #piece, #position, #positive, #premature, #Probably, #quickly, #randomness, #Remains, #reminder, #scarred, #second, #Shaking, #Single, #stay, #thewannabesaint.com, #treatments, #undergo, #way, @BrianLoging, Events, Negative, Relationship

No Contact

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

No Contact –

A cold front moved through our area last night and this morning bringing with it fall like temperatures and rain. On my way to work today I turned my wipers on to clear the water from my windshield and immediately heard an odd flapping noise. I looked at the wipers as they were swiping left to right and noticed on the passenger’s side the rubber on the far side of right wiper had come off the wiper blade. It wasn’t doing anything but flapping in the wind. As a result, where there should have been a clean windshield instead there was rainwater and condensation.

My day has been spent teaching others how to stay in connection with each other, themselves, emotions, thoughts and deepest selves. It’s troubling that in a world where connection should be easy is getting more difficult. The various social media platforms have become places of strident opinions and harsh judgments. Workplace environments, sporting and other social events, community organizations and even our homes are places where we choose sides and the divisions are growing deeper and harder to cross. Where once there was contact and closeness now there are only people flapping their gums, pounding on their keyboards, yelling at the top of their lungs, and our closeness to each other is being lost.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: #Choose, #closeness, #connection, #contact, #deeper, #deepest, #difficult, #divisions, #emotions, #environments, #flapping, #growing, #harder, #harsh, #homes, #judgments, #lost, #opinions, #organizations, #platforms, #selves, #sides, #social, #socialmedia, #spent, #sporting, #strident, #teaching, #themselves, #troubling, #various, #Workplace, Community, Events, Thoughts, World

Chirp and Chatter

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Chirp and Chatter –

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting on the front steps to our shed waiting for Beth to come home from work. Me and the dog enjoying the day when a bird overhead began to chirp loudly! It wasn’t the usual chirp and it was incessant. I looked to the limbs of our big Oak tree trying to find it. I couldn’t. The chirping didn’t stop but I couldn’t find it among the leaves. Finally, it stopped and only when it flew away could I see that it was a large woodpecker.

After watching this beautiful bird fly away I reflected on the constant chirping and not knowing where it was coming from. Some thought are like that in our minds. They chirp and chatter and we wonder, why and for what reason, they are filling our minds with noise. Perhaps its regret at an action, a question about why something is happening, puzzlement for a big decision which needs to be made, a betrayal, a hurtful word given or received, a reliving of past events, or worry about the future. Whatever the thoughts, the chirps, and the chatter can keep peace of mind and spirit elusive and unattainable.

Wisdom reminds us that thoughts are going to come and go but it is up to us not grab them and ruminate. A wise master once said; “I cannot stop the thoughts from coming to my door but I do not have to serve them tea.”

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #action, #beautiful, #betrayal, #blessings, #chatter, #chirp, #chirping, #constant, #decision, #elusive, #filling, #Future, #given, #grab, #happening, #hurtful, #knowing, #Master, #minds, #past, #puzzlement, #question, #reason, #received, #reflected, #regret, #reliving, #reminds, #ruminate, #serve, #spirit, #stop, #unattainable, #watching, #why, #wisdom, #wise, #wonder, #worry, Events, Mind, Noise, Peace, Thoughts

Missing

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Missing –

This afternoon I received a cryptic message about meeting someone. I read it, checked my calendar, read the text again and checked my calendar again. I had no meeting scheduled. I went back into my emails and did a search and still couldn’t find any messages regarding the meeting and still couldn’t find anything. The sender of the message, however, had a picture of her calendar with my acceptance! There was no doubt the meeting was scheduled and I was supposed to be there. Unfortunately, I was in another county so was unable to make it. We rescheduled but I don’t like missing appointments whether they are or are not on my calendar.

It’s bothered me all afternoon. When I got home I checked my emails and calendars again but still didn’t locate anything regarding the meeting. The only thing I can figure is I have a new work phone and the first couple of days I was messing with it, trying to figure it out, I accepted the meeting and then somehow deleted it. I don’t know if this is happened and might not ever know.

Schedules, calendars, planning out our days is a necessary discipline. If we don’t at least attempt to live in an ordered manner the chaos of everyday life will take its toll. However, no matter how much control we think we possess when our calendars and schedules are in sync life has a way of surprising us with events and experiences that don’t fit our schedule and forces us to accept and adjust.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

Tags: #accept, #adjust, #attempt, #blessings, #calendars, #chaos, #control, #discipline, #everyday, #experiences, #forces, #least, #life, #live, #manner, #necessary, #ordered, #planning, #possess, #schedules, #surprising, #sync, #toll, Events

To Trust, To Share

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To Trust, To Share –

This afternoon I was in Lewisburg, Tennessee for a meeting. I arrived early along with several other people and we were sharing with each other big and small life events which have happened recently. There were several birthdays which happened in January, someone had gotten married, another person was recently engaged and other good news passed along to the group.

We know deep down that other people have lives we know nothing about. We understand that friends, acquaintances, even family members are experiencing things on the road of life that we may never know unless they choose to share.

Too often we are absorbed in our own worlds and forget about the countless worlds of others which surround us. Sometimes this focus on ourselves isn’t selfishness but survival. We are going through challenges, fighting battles and just trying to stay alive. Sometimes we are myopic and consumed with whatever is happening in our lives there’s not room for others.

Life is sharing, connecting, enjoying and struggling with those with whom we share the road of life. Good and bad, negative and positive or somewhere in between when we open our stories to others and they, in turn, trust us with theirs relationships happen.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #battles, #challenges, #connection, #friendship, #goodnews, #life, #lifeevents, #noroom, #selfishness, #survival, #wisdom, Events, Relationships

Like a Falling Napkin

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Like a Falling Napkin –

Sunday morning I made a cup of coffee and put some bread in the toaster. While waiting I went to grab a napkin out of the holder. However, I ended up grabbing several napkins instead of just one. The sides of the dispenser snagged them and losing my grip they began to fall to the floor. I grasped at one and then another but they had opened up and were dropping in unpredictable patterns. Every one of them evaded my grip and fell to the floor. An exasperated laugh escaped me as I thought about my uncoördinated attempt and looking life a big butterfly having a spasm.

As I picked up my mess and went back into the kitchen I reflected on the truth that life can be like the falling napkins. There are seasons, moments when we’re trying to get a grip on what’s happening and in spite of all of our efforts we end up with nothing. Life can be elusive. Events, difficulties, trying times come our way and we want to grab onto something but find ourselves flailing and then surrounded by a mess.

When, not if, this happens a sense of humor, picking up the pieces and the willingness to keep going can make all the difference.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: # moments, #difference, #difficulties, #efforts, #elusive, #falling, #getagrip, #grab, #keepgoing, #life, #mess, #napkins, #pickedup, #pickingupthepieces, #reflected, #seasons, #senseofhumor, #surrounded, #truth, #tryingtimes, #willingness, Events

Where are You?

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CharlottesWeb

Where are You? –

Last night I went to watch the play; “Charlotte’s Web” in which my wife, Beth, was a character. It was a great production and, though my wife says I’m biased, I believe Beth was one of the best performers!

There were several people present at this dress rehearsal including a little girl who couldn’t have been older than three. She was, as little children are prone to be, having a hard time sitting still and when the intermission “finally” arrived she couldn’t hold her self in place any longer. She started running around, releasing her pent-up energy. As the intermission was coming to a close her mom jumped up to bring her back to her seat. The lights were dimming fast and mom couldn’t quite get to her daughter before the whole auditorium went dark. I watched as the little girl froze not sure where her mother went but the mom never stopped. She made a bee line to her, picked her up and held her. The daughter unfroze, hugged her mom and went back with her trusting completely.

I smiled as I watched this event unfold and wondered if this is what God desires from us. Many times we’d rather run off on our own. We have places to go, a world to experience, we can make the journey by ourselves. Then darkness falls, we lose our way, we look but don’t know where to go. Tragedy, chaos, unexpected events cause us to freeze wondering if we’ll ever find our way back home. God, however, is not afraid not deterred by the darkness. He has been and continues to pursue us. He finds us, picks us up, holds us close and our fear of being lost melts away. In total trust we let God gracefully take us back where we need to be and wonder why we ever left.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #chaos, #darkness, #find, #journey, #life, #lost, #Tragedy, #trust, #unexpected, #wisdom, Events

Left Overs

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Left Overs –

It’s now the third day after my oral surgery this past Wednesday. After a numbing gel on the impacted areas, shots of Novocaine which deadened gums, nerves, tongue, nitrous oxide which made me loopier than usual and a painkiller prescription, all that’s left over, 72 hours later, is the swelling and tenderness. I do have a few powerful pills but use them with extreme caution and sparingly for fear of becoming dependent. Even bread is hard to chew! The dentist said; “It would take time, not to rush it, invest in some ice cream.” Ice cream? Perhaps the dentist isn’t all bad. 🙂

There’s something about a part of your mouth feeling different from normal that makes you want to rub your tongue over the impacted area. With it I can tell where the surgery happened but must be gentle not to cause further pain. The first two days the ache wasn’t so bad but now that all the other desensitizing agents have worn off there’s only swelling, aching and waiting that’s left over.

Wisdom teaches us that traumatic and painful events, experiences happen to us all. We may have ways of coping with the hurt, masking the discomfort, ignoring the suffering, however, sooner or later, we must acknowledge the damage which has been done. We must accept the left overs in our lives that heartbreak and distress cause. Only then can we know the wound’s severity. Only then can we treat ourselves with gentleness and patience. Only then can we begin to heal.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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What’s Inside

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What’s Inside –

When I first saw this photo it took me a few moments to see the problem. After noticing what’s in the bag is not what’s advertised I couldn’t un-see it.

I remember an interview for a position at an organization and feeling good about how the evening had gone. On our way home from the meeting Beth, who also participated in the interview process, said; “I don’t have a good feeling about one of the men. He wasn’t thrilled at you being considered for this position.” I was offered the job and accepted it but a year later we decided to take another offer in large part because of the problems this man and his family were causing us. Another interview and this time Beth was wary of the leader of the staff position I had applied for. “He’s too conservative for you. You’re going to break your wings banging against the ceiling of his leadership style.” The position lasted longer than a year but serving under this leader took a great mental and spiritual toll on me. Because of these and many other instances I tell Beth, on a regular basis; “You’re smarter than me and I’m smart for marrying you.” I think she agrees with at least half of this statement.

People come with all sort of labels. They are placed upon them by society, cultures, past events and lifestyles. It’s almost impossible not to recognize or place labels on those with whom we come in contact. Although labels might be hard to avoid it doesn’t mean we must accept the description given to us. We can make the choice to reject the label and find out what’s on the inside, getting to know the real person. Only then can we truly know and clearly see.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #accept, #avoid, #choice, #clearly see, #cultures, #description, #gettingtoknow, #inside, #labels, #lifestyles, #past, #realperson, #reject, #society, #trulyknow, Events, People

Not the Same

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Not the Same

The grief in her eyes was impossible to miss. She had lost someone near and dear to her. One who was young, full of life, seemingly with many years left and then one day he was gone. We spoke in hushed tones almost afraid our usual tones would make this terrible truth more real. “I don’t think life will ever be the same again. Normal seems so far from here. How do I get back?” I looked into her shocked and sorrowful eyes and said; “You don’t. Life, as you knew it to be, is over. There is no going back. In time, with healing, you will learn to live in a new normal.”

There are moments, events, seasons in life which guarantee we will never be the same again. Tragedies, awakenings, epiphanies that change everything. What we held to, put our faith in, who we loved are lost. Our rhythm and sense of normal is disrupted. We long to go back, make everything; ‘as it was,’ hold on to that which seemed solid, lasting but it sifts through our hands like sand. Our desire to return is admirable but futile.The way back has been closed off to us forever.

Finding a new normal takes patience with ourselves. We must grieve not only the loss but the difficult path of newness. Even in these darkest of times there is a light in the distance, a rhythm faintly beating, a new normal waiting to be discovered.

blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com

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About Time

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

On Sunday I was working outside, trimming Lemon grass. It can be tricky working with this plant because of the thin, long leaves which can cause a nasty cut if a person is careless. Unfortunately, I wasn’t as vigilant as needed and received a gash in my pinky finger. Small cuts might not bleed much but they can be quite painful. It didn’t take long to forget about the mishap but ever since, each time I apply soap or antibacterial gel, I’m reminded the cut hasn’t completely healed. It’ll take a few more days before the wound is closed and no longer a painful reminder of my carelessness.

Life’s journey is filled with difficult and hurtful places, events, and seasons. Our recovery from these take time and often we encounter reminders of these painful moments which cause the agony to resurface. Our reliving of these can be disappointing and a cause for despair. We think; “Shouldn’t this wound be healed? Why is there still suffering? Will I ever be fully well, whole again?” In these times it’s important to be patient. Recovery moves at a different pace for everyone. You can’t rush restoration and redemption. “Progress, no matter how slow, is still forward.” –Plato

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: # moments, #agony, #cause, #despair, #difficult, #disappointing, #encounter, #forward, #healed, #hurtful, #journey, #life, #pace, #painful, #patient, #plato, #progress, #recovery, #redemption, #reliving, #reminders, #restoration, #resurface, #seasons, #suffering, #whole, #wound, Events

When We’re Stuck

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Awesome video! I watched in awe as the operator gently picked up the stuck deer with the giant scooper and placed it where it could move again.

As it played I thought about times in my life when I was stuck. Seasons when I couldn’t move, find my way, get loose of the muck and mire which held me, trapped me, threatened my life. I also reflected on those who came to my rescue. Folks with great skill, compassion, love and commitment who helped me when I couldn’t help myself.

Life’s path leads us to strange and uncomfortable places. There will be experiences and events which pull us in, hold us fast, wear us out and leave us stuck. Struggling, fighting to free ourselves may only leave us immobile and unable to journey forward. Having mentors, counselors, advisers, people who love and care enough to not leave us stranded can be one of our greatest treasures.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #advisers, #care, #commitment, #compassion, #counselors, #experiences, #fighting, #forward, #help, #immobile, #journey, #leave, #life, #mentors, #path, #skill, #stranded, #strange, #Stuck. #Struggling, #treasures, #unable, #uncomfortable, Events, Free, Lead, love, People

Feeling…Blah

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It started yesterday morning. I got up and while getting ready for work noticed my throat was scratchy. As the day went on my head started hurting, body began aching, eyes watered and a cough developed. I was sick.

The weather has been unpredictable since January. Its been rainy and cool the past several days when it was balmy and almost 70 degrees not long ago. Many people in the office have not felt well and my wife has been battling bronchitis for while now. I also connect with a lot of folks during the week and any number of them could’ve re-gifted their germs to me. “Sigh” I guess it was just my turn.

What hurts the most is not the aches, pains and chills but that it is a beautiful day. Blue skies with brilliant sunshine mock me as I lay on the couch. I’ve been waiting for weather such as this but today there’s nothing to do but hope more are around the corner and getting well is more important than being out and about.

Life is unfair or at least ironic. Wisdom teaches us that patience in all things is important. There are special days, moments, seasons we look forward to only to have them taken away by unforeseen circumstances. We can begrudge our luck, become dismayed at the turn of events or trust that there may still be better days ahead.

blessings,
BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #begrudge, #betterdays, #dismayed, #flu, #sick, #sickness, #trust, Events, Weather

Off the Rails

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I was speaking with a friend the other day about how our thoughts can be our worse enemy. We get into a repetitive, negative train of thought and the tracks take us to bad places. We get down on ourselves, see no way out of difficult present circumstances, lose hope and despair over events and seasons we find ourselves traveling through. Our thought trains can run away with us, drag us to places our minds and spirits have no desire to go.

Taking a breath, slowing down our thinking, letting go of ideas, fears, anxieties is key. A wise proverb says; “Keep the front and back door of your mind open. Allow thoughts to come and go, just don’t serve them tea.” Mindfulness and wisdom teach us that often we cannot control thoughts popping into our heads but grasping and holding onto them is up to us.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #difficult, #seasons, #trainofthought, #wisdom, Events, Negative, proverb, Thoughts

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