I forgot to pray for someone this morning. I talked with them yesterday and they had an appointment today for which I said; “I’ll pray for you.” Then, this morning, it completely slipped my mind! I didn’t realize it until the person I was supposed to pray for let me know everything went well. “Whew!” I then prayed a prayer of thankfulness for the person and for God still working even when we forget to ask.
I don’t think that our prayers determine God’s actions. I think we pray because God is already working and we want eyes that see grace, kindness, goodness from a God that connects himself to humanity in an amazing way.
I am thankful for a God that works even when we forget to ask, friends who support even when we take them for granted, jobs that aren’t always easy but provide us money and other benefits, a family who drives us crazy but we wouldn’t trade the world for, and life’s many miracles and answered prayers, that we can’t see or simply forget to look.
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He forgot! That was his excuse, his reason for not being in the place he told me he’d be. I was on time, early actually, and waited. After a while, I began to wonder if I got the date wrong so I checked my phone calendar and I was on time, in the right place. Several moments passed and I texted him and waited. After a while, a text came back which read; “I’m sorry! We won’t be able to meet tonight. I told others and forgot to tell you.” I took a deep breath as frustration washed over me but didn’t last long. He forgot. I forget. There are times I’ve missed appointments and have let someone down. He didn’t do it on purpose. I knew him well enough to know he would’ve told me if he had remembered. I turned the key to my truck, put it in drive and left for home. Soon I was lost in thought driving down a road and had forgotten the whole situation. The next day he was in contact with me again trying to make things right. There wasn’t anything wrong. He had forgotten, I knew how he felt, and I’d moved on as did he.
People make mistakes. No one is perfect and yet sometimes we beat ourselves up or others for making mistakes. If we are honest we know mistakes happen and will keep happening. We do our best not to make them often and forgive others as, hopefully, they have and will forgive us.
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Us and Them?
I was in the checkout line this week behind a Hispanic family; a mom and three children. Two of the kids were hanging with mom while one was at a bargain bin admiring a bracelet with glass beads. The mother finished checking out, gathered her things and headed for the door. The problem is she forgot a child, the one admiring the bracelet. The cashier caught my eye and said; “You can come up now.” I smiled, gesturing to the girl and quipped; “I don’t think she’s ready.” “Oh. They do that all the time! Forget their children and leave the store. Come on up.” I wasn’t going to push the girl out of the way and so asked her; “Where’s your mom? Did she just go out the doors?” The little one stared at me and I’m not sure she understood what I was saying or was intimidated by a stranger. She moved and I kept my eye on the door while the cashier scanned my items. She continued to insult the mom and lumped all Hispanics together with condescending phrases; “They all do that, don’t care about their children. When I was growing up my mother would’ve never left me. She always knew where we were but they don’t care.” I finished checking out, retrieved my bag and headed out the door. I was annoyed and concerned.
When I got outside I scanned the parking lot for the mom and sure enough, she realized her child was missing and was heading back to the store. My worry dissipated. My annoyance at the cashier persists now as I am writing about it. I don’t understand how a person can casually dismiss an entire race of people. This child with the bracelet, this mom with her hands full, didn’t need judgment. They needed understanding instead of insults, someone to help the mom not forget her most precious cargo. Moms of all races have their hands full. Moms forget. Moms of all nationalities are burdened with remembering all kinds of things and if they are new to the United States of America there’s more she and her family has to deal with in a nation where a growing section of the community is hostile to them.
Instead of a fist offer a hand. Instead of a look of contempt offer empathy. Instead of judgment offer humanity.
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Secrets can destroy lives. Secrets can make enemies of friends. Secrets have a way of eating at us, not giving us any peace and taking over all we say and do. Yet, most of us still hold on to them for fear the secret being found out is worse than the misery it causes each day.
Several years ago I had a friend who was ready to leave his current job for a “better” one. We went out to eat and he laid all his grievances out about his current job. He disliked his occupation, didn’t agree with his boss about the direction of the company and was sick to his gut every day he came to work. To others, he was the model employee but secretly he desperately wanted to go somewhere else. After he finished making his case he took a breath and we talked about the new opportunity and I told him I would be happy to give him a recommendation.
A few hours after our lunch my cell phone rang and it was my friend. We chit chatted a few moments and then he said; “I forgot to ask you, what do you think about me leaving?” I told him it sounded like a good job, the move on his family would be disruptive but manageable and to remember wherever he went he was taking himself with him. I went on to explain that some of his unease and difficulty with his present position was not just the job but were the secrets and burdens he carried with him. “No matter where you go,’ I said quoting one of my favorite wisdom teachers, ‘there you are. “
Don’t carry your secrets and burdens with you.
Ready or Not –
Tuesday afternoon I pulled into the driveway and immediately realized what I had forgotten. There was a bug control company’s truck sitting there with a bug person spraying the outside of the house. My first thought was not the way the house looked on the outside but on the inside. The bathroom remodel was completed a week and a half ago but we are still trying to get things back in their proper place. As a result, the house is quite messy. It was too late to cancel and as soon as I headed into the house the bug person followed so there was no time to straighten up anything! “Oh well,’ I thought, ‘I’m sure they’ve seen worse.” I took the dog outside as they sprayed the inside and finished up. “Thanks and see you next time,” they said, got in their truck and pulled away.
It was an uncomfortable but important reminder of life’s unpredictability. Even when our plans seem permanent, perfectly laid out, organized, and ready for anything life has a way of showing us how little control we have over everything. Life’s full of surprises, some good and some not so good, some which we can get over quickly, others that pull us in a direction we don’t want to go to places we’d rather not be altering it permanently.
Life, like the bug person on Tuesday afternoon; ready or not, here it comes.