Blog Archives

To Trust, To Share

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To Trust, To Share

This afternoon I was in Lewisburg, Tennessee for a meeting. I arrived early along with several other people and we were sharing with each other big and small life events which have happened recently. There were several birthdays which happened in January, someone had gotten married, another person was recently engaged and other good news passed along to the group.

We know deep down that other people have lives we know nothing about. We understand that friends, acquaintances, even family members are experiencing things on the road of life that we may never know unless they choose to share.

Too often we are absorbed in our own worlds and forget about the countless worlds of others which surround us.  Sometimes this focus on ourselves isn’t selfishness but survival. We are going through challenges, fighting battles and just trying to stay alive. Sometimes we are myopic and consumed with whatever is happening in our lives there’s not room for others.

Life is sharing, connecting, enjoying and struggling with those with whom we share the road of life. Good and bad, negative and positive or somewhere in between when we open our stories to others and they, in turn, trust us with theirs relationships happen.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Joy of Another

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Joy of Another

Today I got to make a phone call that was wonderful! A lot of the folks I talk to during the day are in need and are usually seeking assistance. It’s part of my vocation and I’m thankful to be of assistance, however, the call this morning was someone wanting to give me some good news, no string attached! They had reached an important milestone and knew I cared enough to want to know and would share their joy at the accomplished goal.

Being thankful for another’s success and celebrating with them is a rare gift. Too often we are focused on ourselves and what we desire that we gloss over, looking past their achievements, jealous we aren’t the center of attention.

Wisdom teaches us that when we can feel the same joy at another’s blessing, good fortune, as our own, then we are capable of true friendship and connection with another.

blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com

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On the Same Page

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On the Same Page

I like to pick on people I like, have a fondness for, value their friendship. Not bullying but simply old-fashioned kidding around. I am careful whom I do it with because knowing if they can take it is a must! My wife and I been married for 27 years next summer. That someone has chosen to be around me for that long is the only gift I truly want and certainly do not deserve.

My wife worked today for someone who had a relative pass away and needed to be elsewhere. She did this because that’s the type of awesome person she is, inside and out. When she got home, we ate lunch, took some measurements for a project we are working on and went to Lowe’s. I was in a picking mood. She was not. After a while she looked at me and said; “You’re in a mood today!” When she said it, the way she said it, immediately put me on alert. I paused the picking on her and picked at her statement a bit; “Getting on your nerves?” She smiled and replied; “Let’s just say; ‘we are not on the same page!'” That put an end to the picking and I was, and have been since, on my best behavior.

I love my wife. One of the things I am grateful for is a strong-willed, opinionated, passionate woman who will tell her often clueless husband, how she feels and what she feels about certain things. I also know that when we’re not on the same page it doesn’t mean we throw away the book. After 26 plus years we’ve learned how to turn the page, even start a new chapter.

blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com

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Hugging our Enemy

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Hugging Our Enemy

I am not a hugger! Could be my social anxiety, could be the belief that hugging is reserved for special people and special occasions. It’s probably both.

I do however like the sentiments of this quote; “Hug your haters and kill them with kindness.” The first thing I like about it is that hugging and kindness are powerful. They will; “kill” our enemies. I don’t think they will literally kill a difficult, obstinate person, but by offering kindness in return for hatred, they will cease being our enemies.

The next bit of this quote I find worthy of reflection is the deliberate act of hugging of one who would never dream of embracing us. I find it humorous to imagine the look on an adversary’s face if just out of the blue you were to hug them. Might be a wonderful act of grace received or result in a punch in the face. Again, as understood above, to hug a hater is to metaphorically stop looking at them as an opponent and begin seeing them as a friend.

The quote puts the emphasis, action, intent, on us. We are to change the way we view those folks in our lives. Every enemy is a friend in waiting.

“I defeat my enemy by making them my friend.” Abraham Lincoln

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Safe is Not a Place

Last night it was my privilege to give a group of dads a graduating certificate from our Incarcerated Fathers’ class. We began the evening by highlighting the previous twelve weeks and the core values we’ve learned as we walked this path together. Then each dad was called up to the front of the classroom and handed an official certificate stating they had completed the course.

I asked the fathers what they had learned over the last three months. Answers included; “how to respect others, communicate, control emotions, expressing emotions in productive ways, better understanding of how to love their children and family, self-awareness and the need to keep trying and not give up.” I followed by inquiring what they would miss about the class. One father stated; “Being with a group of guys and not worrying about sharing, someone judging, knowing we’re all on the same level trying to be better men and better dads.” For a man to express this in a jail, with a group of men he spends almost every minute of every day was huge and humbling.

One of the keys to listening, learning and changing is feeling safe and jail can be a dangerous place. In spite of being filled with people it can also be depressingly lonely. You keep to yourself, mind your own business and try not to get on the wrong side of anyone. You’re on edge constantly and never let your guard down. For a place designed to keep groups of people confined and secure, isolation and fear are ever-present.

Bring together a group of men who’ve seen the worst this world has to offer, living in a place they don’t want to be, put there by both their choices and the choices of others, plop them in a room and trouble seems the likeliest outcome. However, the opposite can happen if you treat them with respect, listen to their stories, see them as equals and commit to walk this part of their journey with them. Do this and friendships are formed, confessions are uttered, weaknesses recognized, worth is bestowed and people become more than what they believed possible.

We are all so very much alike. What unites us is far greater than what divides us. What we need is someone to help us feel safe, a person who makes us feel accepted, loved, appreciated, valued for where we’ve been and where we’re going.

blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

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