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Other People’s Drama

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Other People’s Drama –

At one time during my adult years, I came across a quote that read; “An emergency on your part does not constitute a crisis on mine.” I don’t remember where it was but the quote has stuck with me.

There can be an almost irresistible draw when someone has a juicy piece of gossip or wants your opinion about a situation they’re facing. Before you offer your “two-cents” remember that once you pass through that door, enter yourself into other people’s drama, it may be impossible to get out. A couple of weeks ago I had a friend who was starting through the drama door and I reminded them; “make sure its worth it.”

The main issue with other people’s drama is there’s often a side to take, a team to join. This is usually the reason a person tells you about issues and problems in the first place. They want you in their corner. We puff ourselves up thinking; “They need our help. Our advice. Our support.” However, what they mostly want is someone to affirm them in the decisions they’ve already made.

I’m not telling people to not listen, empathize with others who need help, a willing ear or even a hand to pull them up but to understand that sometimes what people want and need are completely different things. Be aware and wary.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: #affirmthem, #almostimpossible, #awareness, #blessings, #completelydifferent, #crisis, #drama, #dramadoor, #emergency, #empathize, #getout, #hand, #inthefirstplace, #irresistible, #juicypieceofgossip, #lives, #mainissue, #makesureitsworthit, #needhelp, #notlisten, #offer, #OtherPeoplesDrama, #ouradvice, #ourhelp, #oursupport, #passthroughthatdoor, #peoples, #puffourselvesup, #pullthemup, #quote, #reminded, #sidetotake, #situation, #starting, #stuckwithme, #teamtojoin, #theircorner, #thewannabesaint.com, #theyvealreadymade, #thinking, #two-cents, #wantandneed, #willingear, @BrianLoging, Listen, Opinion

Nothing is Lacking

Feb 1

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Nothing is Lacking–

I was a part of a conversation this week where a group of people was giving a person advice. The advice was based on what the person had shared; a story of love and betrayal. On the wrong side of a bad choice is a terrible place to be and the person was fixated on how to either get over on the person who hurt him or get over it period. Two choices were staring him the face and he was going to choose either one or the other.

Decisions based on pain are almost always bad ones. We make these in times of stress, confusion, doubt, and loneliness. We feel as though we have lost something, had it taken away from us, and we want it back or rather life back the way it was or the way it should be.

Wisdom teaches us that suffering is the gap between how life is, reality, and how we think life ought to be. The greater the gap the more suffering. It is why learning to let go and acceptance are two of the greatest life lessons we can learn and practice. Life is rarely if ever, the way we want. Even if for a while it seems to be sooner or later it changes and we have no control over this truth. To live with open hand, to not try to grasp, force life to stay the same and allow for the inevitable change is to know and live in peace.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: #acceptance, #advice. #based, #allow, #almost, #always, #away, #bad, #betrayal, #blessings, #change, #changes, #choice, #choices, #Choose, #confusion, #control, #conversation, #decisions, #doubt, #face, #feel, #fixated, #force, #gap, #getover, #giving, #grasp, #greater, #greatest, #group, #hand, #hurt, #inevitable, #know, #lacking, #later, #learn, #learning, #lessons, #letgo, #life, #lost, #nothing, #open, #pain, #period, #practice, #rarely, #reality, #shared, #shouldbe, #side, #sooner, #staring, #staythesame, #story, #stress, #suffering, #taken, #teaches, #terrible, #think, #times, #truth, #wantitback, #wisdom, #wrong, loneliness, love, Peace, People

Watching Over

Jan 31

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Watching Over –

This afternoon I ran into a store to grab something I needed. The place didn’t have the item so I exited the store. As soon as I stepped outside I could hear a toddler screaming. I looked and the mom, clearly at her breaking point, was fussing at a small boy and neither was getting the better of the other. Finally, the mom, who was waiting for the dad to come out with keys told this boy and his sister who was standing beside the grocery cart watching the scene unfold, to wait while she ran into the store. I sat and watched as she left both toddlers by the car and began to walk inside. I couldn’t leave. I thought to myself; “Someone has to watch over these kids.” Suddenly the little girl bolted towards the mom who was inside the store by now. I tried to watch over both of them making sure no cars were coming or that anything else would happen to them. After a few moments, the mom emerged holding the hand of her daughter walking toward the boy who had only gotten louder when mom disappeared leaving him in the cart. I left knowing they were safer than when they were alone.

This post isn’t about how bad the mom handled the situation. I’m not a parent and have no idea what its like to have children wanting, needing, things all day every day. It’s about helping others, watching over them, caring enough to protect even if the parties don’t realize you’re there. There are times in our lives when all of us need someone to watch over us.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: # moments, ##protect, #allday, #alone, #beside, #better, #blessings, #bolted, #boy, #breaking, #caring, #children, #clearly, #Dad, #daughter, #disappeared, #emerged, #enough, #everyday, #exited, #hand, #handled, #hear, #helping, #him, #holding, #idea, #inside, #knowing, #leave, #Leaving, #left, #little, #lives, #louder, #makingsure, #mom, #need, #needed, #needing, #others, #outside, #over, #parent, #parties, #point, #realize, #safer, #scene, #screaming, #Sister, #situation, #small, #standing, #stepped, #Suddenly, #toddler, #toward, #unfold, #wait, #waiting, #walk, #walking, #wanting, #watched, #watching, #watchover

Pure

Dec 13

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Pure –

One of the images I like to use with the men I work with is an illustration about a sponge soaked in water.

If I were to go to a store, find the kitchen aisle, and buy a pack of sponges, I could take them home to use as I see fit. If I opened the packaging, took out one sponge and if my kitchen sink was clean I could fill it up with water, take the sponge which had never been used, ball it up in my hand, plunge it in the water, let it go and it would soak up clean water. If I then retrieved another sponge from the packaging, took it outside, found a mud puddle, balled up the sponge in my hand, plunged it in the murky water, let it go, it would soak up dirty water. The sponge isn’t the difference, it’s the water.

It’s similar to our lives. We are mostly products of where we came from, where we are, and where we are going. If our intentions are good and our hearts are pure most likely we will produce good results and our minds and spirits will be at peace. If, however, our hearts and intentions are selfish we will have no peace and wreak havoc on the lives of others.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: #blessings, #clean, #cleanwater, #difference, #dirtywater, #find, #fit, #found, #good, #hand, #havoc, #heart, #illustration, #images, #intention, #intentions, #letitgo, #lives, #minds, #mud, #murky, #neverbeenused, #open, #others, #outside, #packaging, #plunge, #produce, #products, #puddle, #pull, #Pure, #results, #retrieved, #selfish, #similar, #soak, #spirits, #sponge, #sponges, #store, #water, #whereweare, #wherewearegoing, #wherewecamefrom, #wreak, Home, Peace

Safe to Land

Nov 4

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Safe to Land –

Today, I was mowing grass and doing yard work for a friend. Most of the grass has already turned brown for the winter except for a few green patches. As I mowed over a patch a large grasshopper jumped up and from the ground and landed on my shirt. I didn’t have time to figure out what to do because he got his bearings and jumped again to a safe space. This happened more than once as I kept infringing on his territory.

Each time the grasshopper hitched a ride I thought about our lives and the times we need temporary safe places to land. Not spaces we will occupy permanently but where we can get our bearings, catch our breath, take stock of what’s happening, see the challenge and the difficulty and perhaps a way to avoid it or, if needed, endure it.

I also reflected on the need to be a place that is safe to land for others who are in trouble. A place where they can feel accepted and be safe. A space that has a listening ear, no advice unless asked for, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, patience and empathy to endure and understand.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: #accepted, #avoid, #bearings, #catch, #challenge, #cry, #difficulty, #ear, #empathy, #endure, #feel, #grasshopper, #hand, #happening, #hitched, #hold, #land, #listening, #lives, #need, #needed, #occupy, #patience, #perhaps, #permanently, #places, #reflected, #ride, #safe, #safetoland, #shoulder, #space, #spaces, #stock, #temporary, #times, #trouble, #understand, advice, breath

Essentialist and Wannabesaint

Essentialist, contemplative, author, advocate, old soul

Blog Archives

Other People’s Drama

Watching Over

Pure

Safe to Land

Essentialist and Wannabesaint

Essentialist, contemplative, author, advocate, old soul

Blog Archives

Other People’s Drama

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Nothing is Lacking

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Watching Over

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Pure

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Safe to Land

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