Blog Archives
Tribalism
Tribalism –
It is incredibly easy to start an argument these days. Declare your allegiance to a political party, voice your opinion on an issue, talk about who you voted for or why you didn’t vote for the other person, accuse someone of not caring because they don’t share the same convictions you do.
I am amazed, but not really, how terribly divided our world, nations, states, communities and even our families are over matters of the mind and heart. We are so quick to pick a fight, defend our position, be suspect of anyone and everyone.
I was reflecting today over what it will take to bring us back together again. Then I wondered if we had ever, truly, been together. Maybe all the hate and vitriol had been under the surface all along and we couldn’t keep it hidden any longer. I don’t like thinking that way. I’d rather believe we, humanity, are going through a rough spot and, in time, something deeper will bring us back together. To be honest I don’t have much hope in what’s deeper being what’s better. Throughout human history we have hated, warred, fought against, killed and used one another to further our own goals with little thought of how it impacts the other.
Wisdom teaches humility first. Serving, helping, putting our neighbor (hint: everyone’s our neighbor, including our “enemies”) and their needs above our own. It doesn’t seem likely to happen soon, if ever, but it starts with the choice to love, be kind, refusing to see the other as separate, apart from us. We are human. If we could only find our purpose, our “being”.
For more reflections, posts, and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com
blessings,
@BrianLoging
The River
The River –
“Imagine yourself sitting on the bank of a river. The river is your stream of consciousness. Observe each of your thoughts coming along as if they’re saying, “Think me, think me.” Watch your feelings come by saying, “Feel me, feel me.” Acknowledge that you’re having the feeling or thought. Don’t hate it, judge it, critique it, or move against it. Simply name it: “resentment toward so and so,” “a thought about such and such.” Then place it on a boat and let it go down the river. When another thought arises—as no doubt it will—welcome it and let it go, returning to your inner watch place on the bank of the river.”
#ThomasKeating, “Open Mind, Open Heart: The Contemplative Dimension of the Gospel”
One of the greatest and most difficult realizations is the truth that we are not our thoughts. We are not our actions. We are not our egos. True, each of these can reveal things about us and to the world but we are not these things.
The problem is we’ve been taught the opposite most of our lives. The famous quote; “Reap a thought, a word, an action, then a destiny,” seems right but our thoughts do not have to lead us to who we ultimately become. We can choose to go deeper, change paths, refuse to be captive to our thoughts by breaking free of them.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
Hate
Hate –
I have a friend who is dealing with a broken relationship in his life. He has tried reaching out, apologizing, offering to make good on the accused slight he did to the offending party but nothing has worked. The wounded one doesn’t want anything to do with the other, has expressed his hatred for my friend numerous times, and it is bothering my friend something fierce.
He asked the question; “What else can I do?” after he listed all the things he’s tried to do to make up for something he’s not even sure he did. “You’re going to have to let them hate you.” I know this isn’t the answer he wanted but it was the only answer to give. When someone has been hurt by us whether we meant to or not it is not within our power to make them forgive us, to restore a broken relationship. As soon as we become aware of the pain, betrayal, we’ve caused we should immediately go to them, express a contrite and sincere spirit of sorrow apologizing for the behavior and offer to make penance to satisfy the other who has been wronged. If they accept, that’s great but if they don’t accept we have to live with that and though it’s not easy it is our only option.
What we hope for, pray for, look for every opportunity to make it right again in the future. However, for now, we must bear the burden of hate, knowing we have done all things within our power to right the wrong. We live with their hate and the separation hoping a time will come when both can reconnect and restore what’s been torn apart and destroyed.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
Hate
Hate –
Someone asked me today to define hate. I knew what they were asking. They were wanting to know if their dislike of another had gone far enough, grown enough to call it the “H” word. I described hate this way; “…an intense feeling of disdain, a lack of love and grace toward another, a set of blinders placed over one’s eyes and soul to stop from seeing anything good about the person.”
I’m not sure this is the best definition but it was one which resonated with my feelings of someone several years ago who had hurt me into the depths of my spirit. I couldn’t please this person, who focused on what I did wrong and rarely noticed what I did right, complained, criticized, isolated me from others and used up everything they needed and then threw me away like an empty beer can, never looking back.
If I’d ever hated someone this would be the person, but as I thought about them today the intensity was no longer there. It takes a lot of energy, passion, time, to hate someone. Hate occupies a lot of space in your brain, emotions, spirit and life. You dwell on the other, fueled by your extreme contempt. Hatred consumes you and there comes a point when you have to make a choice; “Will I allow my pain and scorn to become who and what I am? Or, do I begin to let it go?”
It’s not an easy decision but its the only option which leads to wholeness and peace.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
Decision and Dentistry
Confession time. I hate going to the dentist! I am not saying that I dislike going to the dentist, I am not hinting that there is something I would rather do on a day off, or alluding to the thought that it is a place I would rather not visit on vacation. I am clearly and emphatically stating so that there is no equivocation, that I hate going to the dentist!
I hate going to the dentist because I am at his/her mercy once I get there. I hate the way they talk nice and then take you into that small room and place you in that chair. I hate they way they tie that bib around your neck so when they begin their torturing they won’t get anything on you. I hate the way they lean you all the way back until you get woozy, then they begin to “explore” by tapping on your teeth with these pointy little metal things looking for problems. I hate how they make you open your mouth in the most painful position possible and continue to poke around.
I hate the shots in the gums, the drilling, the poking, prodding, grinding and sticking other instruments into your mouth that just frankly don’t go there. I hate the x-rays. The pieces of card board they stick inside your mouth and then tell you to bite down so hard you cut off the circulation while they excuse themselves and go grab a burger, watch some television, or whatever they are supposed to be doing, while they are “taking the pictures.” I hate when the technicians come back and say something silly like “Now that wasn’t to bad was it?” If you could talk you would tell her how bad you thought it was, but she knows you cant talk which is why she asked.
But what I hate the most is that dentists are important. When a tooth starts hurting you need to go. Cleanings, check ups, routine visits all of which are vital for dental health. In spite of the pain, agony, x-rays I know these visits have a purpose. Problems are found, issues are dealt with, major work is avoided if I can just bring myself to make the appointments and follow through.
There are enemies to oral hygiene seeking to destroy my teeth. There are germs that want to make my gums recede, foods and drinks that taste so good and yet are terrible for my choppers and each of these things make getting back in that small room and reclining back in that torture device called a dentist chair necessary.
So I figured I got one of two choices. I can either brush my teeth 24 hours a day and not eat anything, or I can resign myself that the dentist is always going to be a part of life.
Sigh….I feel better…I think.
light and wisdom,
bdl