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Beneath

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Beneath

Today I was tearing down an old wooden, raised flowerbed that was built many years ago. It was mostly rotten and needed to be removed. I was on my hands and knees prying apart a corner and noticed the wood seemed to be moving. Looking closer I realized there was an ant bed behind the wood. If you know anything about ants it is that they’ve noticed you before you notice them. This was true. I looked and they were on the sleeves of my shirt and hands. Fortunately, I was stung only one time. I quickly stepped back and brushed myself off. It was amazing to watch how quickly they went on the defense when under attack. There was no discussion, no plan, just instinct and getting rid of the intruder.

I know people this way. They are quick to attack, slow to find out what’s happening. If they even perceive that someone is going to be a threat they become defensive and hostile.  Some people attack themselves. They are more critical of their life than any critic would ever be. Others’ aggressive style protects themselves from getting hurt.

Wisdom teaches us that this is not the way to live with ourselves or others. We are to be patient, kind, grace-filled, faithful, hopeful, and loving with everyone, including us.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannbesaint.com

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Long

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Long

A question was asked today; “If you had one word to describe this year what would it be?” I knew the answer before the question was finished. The answer was/is looooooooooooooong.

My father passed away on December 1st. His battle with pancreatic cancer began near the first of the year. I went through it with him and my mom long distance, over the phone, and travelled down to South Carolina several times to see them. What they went through, the endless doctor’s appointments, the good news and bad news proclamations from well-meaning physicians, the ultimate acceptance of; “there’s nothing more we can do,” and then his sudden demise. As I said, “long year.”

Yet, paradoxically, there is a part of me that is holding on to 2017. It may have been fraught with battles and ultimately surrender but at least there was still a fight to be had. Since December 1st and the flurry of activity of the next few days prepping for his memorial service, the days have been living in slow motion. In spite of it’s pace, this was the last month I can say that I saw him, talked with him, sat in his presence, read and prayed with him. Now, in just a few hours I won’t have that attachment any longer.

It is quite difficult to let go, to walk into an unknown future, live a new normal with only 30 days of adjustments and finding our place, gaining our balance. It will be a challenge to press on into this new, strange year, but it must be done.

A soft, sorrowful; “Goodbye 2017” and a hesitant, and perhaps hopeful; “Hello” to 2018.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Hope is Tricky

Hope is Tricky

Fire can be a tricky thing. It doesn’t always burn when you want it to, go out when need it to, spread evenly, move at a trackable rate.

Last night a mighty storm blew through our area and left a lot of dead limbs in its wake (see pic). This afternoon I went out and picked them up. Some were wet, others dry but I was hoping to burn them since it was such a large pile. Pouring a little fuel starter on the pile I lit the match and waited. The fuel burned quickly but didn’t seem to be able to light the other limbs and debris. After half and hour, the flames disappeared and a big puff of smoke emitted from the pile as if the fire gave up.

It was lunch time so I went inside, washed my hands, decided what I wanted for lunch but as I was sitting down it occurred to me to check the fire, “just in case.” I stepped outside to get a view of the pile of limbs and spied one tiny flame. Over the next several minutes the flame grew and before I knew it I was sliding my chair away from the fire as it grew taller and hotter consuming everything. A few moments before it seemed out for the count but it was biding its time, growing warmer, waiting for the right conditions and then everything worked together to feed the flame and devour the pile.

Sitting there I thought about the elusiveness of hope. Hope, like a fire, isn’t always easy to keep lit.In dark times we need the light to see, the warmth of hope to stay focused and alive. However, in desperate seasons, hope seems to be snuffed out. We are drained, drowning in the evil which surrounds us. We need the flames of hope but a puff of smoke seems all we can muster.

Hope takes its time, smoldering, waiting for the right conditions, time and place to burst forth in uncontrollable, consuming flame. Hope can be a tricky thing. It doesn’t always inspire when you want it to, give you strength when you need it to, spread evenly, move at a predictable rate. Hope isn’t ours to control. It’s more powerful than us.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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