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Cracked

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Cracked –

My fingers have a nasty way of cracking and splitting open when I work outside during the winter in cold and dry conditions. Last week my thumb developed a big one. I had several days of work in front of me and it was becoming sorer by the moment. Finally, after arriving home from a trip yesterday, my wife “made it better.” She cleaned it with Peroxide, gently using a Q-Tip to get the dirt and grime in the crack, applied Neosporin to the affected area and then covered it with a Band-Aid to keep it protected. I repeated the procedure this afternoon and will continue until it improves.

Certain seasons of life can also wound us physically, emotionally and spiritually. We do our best to keep going but sooner or later we must pay attention to the hurt because if we don’t it will only get worse. At times others can help us heal and other times we can do it ourselves. Wisdom teaches us the important axiom; “If we can’t take care of ourselves we can’t take care of others.”

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tender Touch

Mar 11

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Tender Touch –

I washed a friend’s hair today. That’s a sentence most people don’t type often. It was an interesting experience. Washing my hair isn’t nearly as exciting. I think it’s because I don’t have much hair but also because I do it almost every day. I know how hot I like the water, the amount of shampoo I need, the best way to move my hands and arms so I can do a good and quick job, the pressure it takes to get my head and hair clean but not so hard I hurt myself. When washing another’s hair you aren’t sure about any of these things so you are more hesitant, you listen to their instructions intently, careful you are cleaning their head and hair but not scrubbing their scalp off! I did a decent job, spilling some water on their shirt, needed more shampoo because they actually have hair, but overall they were a satisfied client.

Human interaction comes in all shapes and sizes. We connect with each other in a variety of ways. Hopefully, we come out the better for it afterward. Often we take these joinings for granted. We interact with each other and forget how important these linkings are to who and what we are and become. It’s a delicate dance to make sure we don’t violate each other’s space and move together allowing each one to lead and follow, instruct and listen, b secure enough in the relationship to simply be or change entirely.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #actually, #afterward, #allowing, #almost, #amount, #arms, #become, #best, #better, #blessings, #careful, #change, #cleaning, #client, #connect, #dance, #decent, #delicate, #each, #eachother, #entirely, #exciting, #experience, #follow, #forget, #good, #granted, #hands, #hesitant, #hopefully, #human, #hurt, #important, #instruct, #instructions, #intently, #interact, #interaction, #interesting, #joinings, #linkings, #move, #need, #needed, #often, #other, #pressure, #quick, #satisfied, #secure, #shapes, #simply, #sizes, #space, #spilling, #tender, #tendertouch, #thewannabesaint.com, #think, #together, #touch, #variety, #violate, #washing, #water, #way, #ways, @BrianLoging, Lead, Listen, People, Relationship

Beneath

Mar 8

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Beneath –

Today I was tearing down an old wooden, raised flowerbed that was built many years ago. It was mostly rotten and needed to be removed. I was on my hands and knees prying apart a corner and noticed the wood seemed to be moving. Looking closer I realized there was an ant bed behind the wood. If you know anything about ants it is that they’ve noticed you before you notice them. This was true. I looked and they were on the sleeves of my shirt and hands. Fortunately, I was stung only one time. I quickly stepped back and brushed myself off. It was amazing to watch how quickly they went on the defense when under attack. There was no discussion, no plan, just instinct and getting rid of the intruder.

I know people this way. They are quick to attack, slow to find out what’s happening. If they even perceive that someone is going to be a threat they become defensive and hostile. Some people attack themselves. They are more critical of their life than any critic would ever be. Others’ aggressive style protects themselves from getting hurt.

Wisdom teaches us that this is not the way to live with ourselves or others. We are to be patient, kind, grace-filled, faithful, hopeful, and loving with everyone, including us.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannbesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: ##protect, #aggressive, #amazing, #anything, #attack, #before, #behind, #beneath, #blessings, #built, #closer, #critic, #critical, #defense, #defensive, #discussion, #down, #enemy, #everyone, #faithful, #find, #Fortunately, #getting, #grace-filled, #hands, #happening, #harshly, #hopeful, #hostile, #hurt, #including, #instinct, #intruder, #kind, #knees, #know, #looked, #looking, #loving, #mostly, #moving, #needed, #notice, #noticed, #patient, #perceive, #plan, #prying, #quick, #quickly, #realized, #removed, #rid, #rotten, #sleeves, #slow, #stepped, #teaches, #tearing, #themselves, #thewannbesaint.com, #true, #Under, #watch, #way, #wisdom, @BrianLoging, People, Style

Smoldering

Mar 5

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Smoldering –

On Saturday afternoon I burned a pile of branches, old newspapers, and other miscellaneous items. The smell of the ashes and leftover debris lingered in the air the next day. I had forgotten to grab an old wooden rocking chair out of the reading room which also needed to be disposed of. When I noticed it Sunday afternoon I wondered if the smoldering ash would still be hot enough to do anything. I took the chair out, broke it into several pieces and put some under the coals, which were still a faint orange, and put the rest in a pile on top. I checked it after a while and noticed the smoke had increased. About an hour later the wood was ablaze with a good flame. It didn’t take long to consume it once the fire restarted. Not too long afterward the chair was gone.

I wrote last week about the struggles I have when February rolls around. Many years have passed but the layers of hurt, anger, and uncertainty still lay buried, ready to ignite when fuel is added. What I try to do, instead of dwelling on the past, is not feed the flames. When I am aware and notice my mind drifting back to the place of pain I find a place to breathe. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. I remind myself of the truth that I cannot change the past but I can be present in the now. Does it always work? No. Does it work? Yes. Maybe one day I will be healed, maybe not, but I don’t want to give up on living today because of the difficulties of yesterday.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: #ablaze, #added, #air, #always, #anger, #ash, #ashes, #aware, #back, #blessings, #breaths, #broke, #buried, #burned, #cannot, #change, #checked, #close, #coals, #consume, #debris, #deep, #difficulties, #disposed, #drifting, #dwelling, #eyes, #faint, #February, #feed, #find, #flame, #flames, #forgotten, #fuel, #giveup, #healed, #hot, #hurt, #ignite, #increased, #instead, #items, #layers, #leftover, #lingered, #living, #maybe, #miscellaneous, #Myself, #needed, #notice, #noticed, #now, #pain, #passed, #past, #pieces, #pile, #place, #present, #ready, #remind, #rest, #restarted, #smell, #smoldering, #struggles, #thewannabesaint.com, #time, #today, #truth, #uncertainty, #Under, #wondered, #work, @BrianLoging, breathe, Mind

Nothing is Lacking

Feb 1

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for taoist quote

Nothing is Lacking–

I was a part of a conversation this week where a group of people was giving a person advice. The advice was based on what the person had shared; a story of love and betrayal. On the wrong side of a bad choice is a terrible place to be and the person was fixated on how to either get over on the person who hurt him or get over it period. Two choices were staring him the face and he was going to choose either one or the other.

Decisions based on pain are almost always bad ones. We make these in times of stress, confusion, doubt, and loneliness. We feel as though we have lost something, had it taken away from us, and we want it back or rather life back the way it was or the way it should be.

Wisdom teaches us that suffering is the gap between how life is, reality, and how we think life ought to be. The greater the gap the more suffering. It is why learning to let go and acceptance are two of the greatest life lessons we can learn and practice. Life is rarely if ever, the way we want. Even if for a while it seems to be sooner or later it changes and we have no control over this truth. To live with open hand, to not try to grasp, force life to stay the same and allow for the inevitable change is to know and live in peace.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #acceptance, #advice. #based, #allow, #almost, #always, #away, #bad, #betrayal, #blessings, #change, #changes, #choice, #choices, #Choose, #confusion, #control, #conversation, #decisions, #doubt, #face, #feel, #fixated, #force, #gap, #getover, #giving, #grasp, #greater, #greatest, #group, #hand, #hurt, #inevitable, #know, #lacking, #later, #learn, #learning, #lessons, #letgo, #life, #lost, #nothing, #open, #pain, #period, #practice, #rarely, #reality, #shared, #shouldbe, #side, #sooner, #staring, #staythesame, #story, #stress, #suffering, #taken, #teaches, #terrible, #think, #times, #truth, #wantitback, #wisdom, #wrong, loneliness, love, Peace, People

Testing, 1, 2, 3

Jan 29

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for tb test

Testing, 1, 2, 3 –

Today was my annual Tuberculosis test for the non-profit where I am employed. I don’t like tests, shots, or pain so this was a three for three experience of joy! It’s the same every year. I go into a small room, the nurse tells me this is going to hurt but not too much. I look away and tell her I don’t want to know when just do it. She does and then tells me to come back in 2-3 days for the results. So, I wait.

I don’t have Tuberculosis. At least I don’t think I do. Would I know it if I did? The test makes me think about it. Each year I forget what a positive result looks like so I google the symptoms and then look at my arm over the next couple of days to make sure I don’t have what I don’t think I have…

Life has a way of making us worry about a lot of stuff. You watch, read or listen to the news you begin to worry about things you hadn’t even thought of before. You talk with family, friends and they’ll give you something else to be concerned about. Before you know it, if you’re not careful, you have enough stress and anxiety to last a lifetime.

Wisdom teaches us that agonizing, over thinking, brooding, and panic are not a healthy state of mind or emotions. Letting go of that which distresses us might not be easy but carrying around a load of tension and agitation ensure we will never find the peace which we desperately desire and need.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mental Health

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Tags: #agitation, #agonizing, #annual, #anxiety, #arm, #begin, #blessings, #brooding, #careful, #carrying, #concerned, #days, #desire, #desperately, #distresses, #easy, #emotions, #employed, #ensure, #experience, #find, #forget, #friends, #google, #healthy, #hurt, #joy, #lettinggo, #life, #lifetime, #load, #might, #need, #never, #next, #non-profit, #nurse, #overthinking, #pain, #panic, #positive, #results, #shots, #state, #stress, #symptoms, #teaches, #tension, #test, #testing, #think, #today, #Tuberculosis, #wait, #watch, #way, #wisdom, #worry, Family, Listen, Mind, News, Peace, Talk, Thought

Teaching Peace

Jan 26

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for taoist quote

Teaching Peace –

Earlier this week I was talking with a man who has a confessed anger problem. He’s also been hurt by some people he trusted. The pain and rage of this betrayal occupy his thoughts and revenge is his stated goal. As we spoke with each other I explained to him that violence is not going to fix things. It will only make it worse for the man and his family. “Good mental health, the ability to process our emotions in a healthy, positive way will have a lasting impact on your family. Not choosing wisely will hurt you and those you love. I know the feelings are there and they’re eating you up inside but taking a path which doesn’t lead to peace punishes everyone.”

Peace is a hard concept and discipline to put into practice. We live in a world which claims the right to revenge and paying people back for the harm they’ve caused us. However, if we stubbornly stay on the path to; “right the wrongs” done to us we will not find contentment but an endless cycle of violence and retribution.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #ability, #anger, #betrayal, #blessings, #caused, #choosing, #claims, #concept, #confessed, #contentment, #cycle, #discipline, #eating, #emotions, #endless, #explained, #feelings, #find, #fix, #goal, #good, #hard, #harm, #healthy, #hurt, #impact, #inside, #lasting, #live, #man, #mental, #mentalhealth, #occupy, #pain, #path, #paying, #positive, #practice, #problem, #process, #punishes, #rage, #retribution, #revenge, #right, #spoke, #stated, #stay, #stubbornly, #talking, #teaching, #trusted, #violence, #way, #wisely, #worse, #wrongs, Family, Health, Lead, love, Peace, People, Thoughts, World

Hate

Jan 21

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Hate –

I listened to a conversation this week where the person told another, to their face, that they hated them. “I hated you when you left,” they said. “It took a long time to not hate you anymore.” It was an honest and startling admission. Most times people are adept at not showing the person they hate their true feelings.

It left me with a question; “Have I ever, in my life, hated someone?” I define hate; as the inability to see the good in someone. As I reflected on the question a person came to mind. If I’ve ever hated someone, according to my definition, this man fit the criteria. I had the hardest time seeing the good, the light, the benefit of his existence, the unique expression of God in him. It was, at times, impossible to not be suspicious of his motives, think of the worst outcome of his decisions, belittle his beliefs and talents. Then, one day, ranting in my head about something he had done the question came from out of the blue; “Can you see any good in this man?” My mind stopped dead in its tracks. The answer was “no, I couldn’t.” It was then I realized the problem wasn’t him it was me.

I’d love to post about how this moment fixed everything but it didn’t. However, it did give me a new way of looking at this person and my role in the frustration, anxiety, and chaos within me. It took me a long time to forgive the hurt and betrayal he had caused but I began focusing on what was going on inside of me instead of what someone was doing on the outside. This made all the difference.

“You will never see God until you can see Him in every next face you see.” #SaintMotherTeresa

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Keep Your Feet

Jan 17

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for icy sidewalk

Keep Your Feet –

Yesterday we had snow and ice fall in our area. As a result, today’s travel by truck and foot has been perilous. I drove extra slow around some of the country back roads that were hills and curvy. At each place I arrived, I carefully exited the truck and made sure my feet were on solid ground and not icy patches before fully placing my weight upon them. I walked slowly, deliberately and kept my feet where I could see them to be sure I didn’t slide, fall and hurt myself. This evening when I pulled into the driveway I checked the mail and walking to the house I continued my deliberate pace. Finally, once inside I put on a pair warm PJs and felt I could fully relax.

As I traversed the ice and snow today I remember the wise saying; “Keep your feet beneath you. Don’t let them wander off or there’s no telling where you will end up.” I kept my feet and they led me home.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #arrived, #beneath, #blessings, #carefully, #continued, #country, #curvy, #deliberate, #deliberately, #endup" #led, #exited, #extra, #fall, #Feet, #fully, #ground, #hills, #house, #hurt, #ice, #inside, #keep, #keptmyfeet, #myfeet, #Myself, #pace, #perilous, #placing, #relax, #remembered, #roads, #slide, #slow, #slowly, #snow, #solid, #solidground, #sure, #traversed, #walked, #walking, #wander, #wanderoff, #weight, #wise, #yesterday, #Your, Home, Travel

Flashback

Dec 23

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Flashback –

Today, while working out, I began to think of someone I haven’t thought of in a long time. It was a song that started the flashback. The memories began emerging and it wasn’t long before I began to feel the emotions, experience the memories and time melted away. It was almost as if I was back in the place, with the person and struggling. This person and I had a difficult relationship. There are times when two people don’t mesh. Sometimes there are reasons other times there are not. The pairing produces negative results, hurt feelings, harmful actions, and regrets.

I was thankful my anxiety didn’t take me too far down the road. There are times when my anxiety disorder goes into high gear and I can’t turn my thoughts off. They keep coming and it seems I am at their mercy. Today, the flashback was only a few moments and I was able to move on.

Though unexpected and unwanted the flashback was a good reminder that I have put a lot of distance between what was then and what is now. Most of the pain has vanished, the hurt feelings healed, the memories and experiences seen differently. The person is no longer my adversary but a fellow sojourner trying to find their way home on another path.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: ##struggling, #able, #actions, #anxiety, #anxietydisorder, #between, #blessings, #difficult, #distance, #emerging, #emotions, #enemy, #experience, #experiences, #feel, #fellow, #few, #find, #Flashback, #good, #harmful, #healed, #home. #path, #hurt, #light, #long, #longer, #melted, #memories, #mercy, #mesh, #moveon, #now, #Off, #pain, #pairing, #person, #produces, #reasons, #regrets, #reminder, #results, #sojourner, #started, #thankful, #think, #time, #today, #toofar, #unexpected, #unwanted, #vanished, #way, #whatis, #whatwas, #workingout, Negative, Relationship, Thought, Thoughts

Flying Off

Dec 11

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for snow off semi

Flying Off –

I spent most of the day traveling. Driving can be dangerous at all times but today especially as I went through Atlanta, Georgia. Over the weekend Mother Nature dumped several inches of snow in the area and though the skies were a crystal blue today and the sun shone brightly the melting snow was flying off the back of some semi-trucks. Huge pieces would be loosened by the sun and the drafts of air as they made their way along the interstate. One second you’re minding your own business the next you’re in a one-sided snowball fight!

Life has a way of giving and taking. I think we’d enjoy the good more if we knew how much the taking would hurt. Life also has a way of covering us with joy and sadness. We bask in the joy but when the sadness envelops us it can seem one-sided, unfair and unwanted.

Accepting life and all it sends us can be as easy as letting the sun shine on our face and as difficult as trying to dodge an unexpected avalanche from a semi but both are required if we are to experience life fully.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #accepting, #air, #Atlanta, #avalanche, #bask, #blessings, #blue, #both, #brightly, #covering, #crystal, #dangerous, #day, #difficult, #dodge, #drafts, #enjoy, #envelops, #experience, #face, #fight, #Flying, #fully, #Georgia, #giving, #Huge, #hurt, #joy, #letting, #life, #loosened, #melting, #minding, #MotherNature, #Off, #one-sided, #own, #pieces, #required, #sadness, #second, #sends, #shine, #snow, #snowball, #sun, #taking, #times, #today, #traveling, #trying, #unexpected, #unfair, #unwanted, #way, Business

Silence

Dec 5

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Silence –

Today has been unusually quiet compared to the last several days since my father has passed. My wife and my mother spent some time together today which left me in her house alone. I reflected a bit on the week that has been but mostly I have slept. I am an introvert with diagnosed social anxiety so it takes little imagination to understand the state of mind I am in because deaths and memorial services, errands and condolence phone calls, emails and texts are anything but quiet and stress reducing.

My wife and my mom knew sleep and silence are what I needed today and am thankful they gave me some space. I am running on empty and my body, emotions, mind, and soul craves the quietude of muted phones, ignored texts, emails that can wait, errands which didn’t happen and the downtime which occurs the days and weeks after a loved one leaves this world.

They say the hardest part of a dear one passing isn’t the days immediately following. Days which are filled with planning, non-stop moving, endless words and memories are hard but can sweep you away in a flood of activity. It’s the days after which grow long. They are filled with loneliness, and questions, confusion, anger, and doubt. The flood of phone calls slow to a trickle, the flowers stop coming, the cards aren’t in the mail, and life goes on. The silence following the cacophony can be deafening.

So, what is a balm for me will become hurt, especially for my mother. It is in these times I must trust the memories will comfort, family and friends will step in for support and we will learn to live with the blessing of silence.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #activity, #after, #alone, #anger, #away, #balm, #become, #blessing, #body, #cacophony, #cards, #comfort, #compared, #condolence, #confusion, #craves, #days, #deafening, #dearone, #deaths, #diagnosed, #doubt, #downtime, #emotions, #empty, #endless, #errands, #especially, #filled, #flood, #flowers, #following, #friends, #hard, #hardest, #hurt, #I, #imagination, #immediately, #introvert, #learning, #leaves, #lifegoeson, #live, #long, #lovedone, #memorialservices, #memories, #mother, #moving, #muted, #needed, #non-stop, #part, #passed, #passing, #planning, #questions, #quiet, #quietude, #reducing, #reflected, #running, #several, #sleep, #slept, #slow, #socialanxiety, #space, #stateofmind, #stepin, #stopcoming, #stress, #support, #sweep, #thankful, #today, #trickle, #trust, #understand, #unusually, #wife, #words, Family, father, loneliness, Mind, Silence, Soul, World

Forgive

Nov 15

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Forgive –

I found this to be an interesting quote. I’m not sure how to forgive; “everything” or if everything needs forgiveness but certainly believe that forgiveness. Genuine forgiveness is in short supply.

We live in a world where everyone seems angry over something. We fight with family, friends, strangers, internet buddies, internet trolls about banal topics that are of no consequence and about subjects with grave consequences. The problem is we can’t tell the difference and fight over everything.

To live with an attitude of forgiveness, to be a walking, breathing living example of forgiveness in a world that hates, fights, shames, shuns, is to invite hurt, pain, betrayal, and accusations of being out of touch. However, it’s also the antidote to the poison that threatens to kill all we hold dear.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: #accusations, #angry, #antidote, #Attitude, #banal, #being, #believe, #betrayal, #blessings, #breathing, #buddies, #consequence, #difference, #everything, #example, #fight, #fights, #forgive, #forgiveness, #friends, #genuine, #grave, #hates, #hurt, #interesting, #internet, #invite, #kill, #live, #living, #needs, #outoftouch, #pain, #poison, #problem, #quote, #shames, #shortsupply, #shuns, #strangers, #subjects, #threatens, #topics, #trolls, #walking, Family, World

Sifted

Nov 6

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Sifted –

We live in a world where our thoughts are too easily written down and dispersed on an unexpecting and often unwanting public. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and more give us the options of pairing our words with pictures, emojis, aesthetic backgrounds as if that makes them seem more important. What we are missing is a filter which asks; “Does this post hurt you or others?” If the answer is; “Yes” then we don’t put it out there for the whole world to see.

The question; “Does this hurt you or others?” should also apply to what we say in the real world to each other. I’ve heard people say things to another human being which should simply never be said. The problem is “No Filter.” We have latched on to the idea that if we think it, it is worth expressing, and we don’t consider the consequences of the words we speak.

Words, perhaps more than any other weapon, has the power to create or destroy life. May we use them carefully.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #aesthetic, #apply, #backgrounds, #carefully, #consequences, #consider, #create, #destroy, #dispersed, #emojis, #expressing, #filter, #heard, #humanbeing, #hurt, #idea, #important, #latched, #life, #missing, #never, #NoFilter, #options, #pairing, #pictures, #post, #power, #problem, #public. #Facebook, #realworld, #simply, #speak, #Twitter, #unexpecting, #unwanting, #weapon, #Written, Instagram, People, Thoughts, World

Hate

Oct 13

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Hate –

I have a friend who is dealing with a broken relationship in his life. He has tried reaching out, apologizing, offering to make good on the accused slight he did to the offending party but nothing has worked. The wounded one doesn’t want anything to do with the other, has expressed his hatred for my friend numerous times, and it is bothering my friend something fierce.

He asked the question; “What else can I do?” after he listed all the things he’s tried to do to make up for something he’s not even sure he did. “You’re going to have to let them hate you.” I know this isn’t the answer he wanted but it was the only answer to give. When someone has been hurt by us whether we meant to or not it is not within our power to make them forgive us, to restore a broken relationship. As soon as we become aware of the pain, betrayal, we’ve caused we should immediately go to them, express a contrite and sincere spirit of sorrow apologizing for the behavior and offer to make penance to satisfy the other who has been wronged. If they accept, that’s great but if they don’t accept we have to live with that and though it’s not easy it is our only option.

What we hope for, pray for, look for every opportunity to make it right again in the future. However, for now, we must bear the burden of hate, knowing we have done all things within our power to right the wrong. We live with their hate and the separation hoping a time will come when both can reconnect and restore what’s been torn apart and destroyed.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Relationships

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Tags: #accept, #apologizing, #aware, #bear, #behavior, #betrayal, #broken, #burden, #contrite, #destroyed, #express, #forgive, #Future, #hate, #hope, #hurt, #immediately, #offer, #opportunity, #option, #pain, #penance, #power, #pray, #reconnect, #restore, #satisfy, #sincere, #sorrow, #spirit, #tornapart, #wronged, Relationship, Separation

Expecting

Oct 7

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for zen thought of the day

Expecting –

It is so had to do, acting without expecting. Two plus two equals four but life is not mathematics. One action does not necessarily equal an expected result.

Several years ago I was on staff at a large organization and following a particularly long meeting I was among a group of members talking in a hallway. The conversation didn’t last long but I said something in passing that hurt the feelings of a fellow staff member. I didn’t realize it until that evening when I received a long email about what I had said and done. It took me by complete surprise. I sent an email back immediately apologizing and promising to be more careful with my words and received another email outlining other things I had done that this staff member found irritating and insulting. Again, I apologized and began looking at my words and behavior to see if I could find all of these faults. I didn’t agree with everything this staff member wrote but I felt they deserved enough respect from me to pray for greater self-awareness in all my interactions.

This is why expectations can be so dangerous. We may know, or hope we know, our intentions as we develop and cultivate relationships, make our way with others along this path called life. We may not wish to hurt others or offend them. Our life can be about peace and kindness but it may not always be perceived that way. We must purposefully live well but not expect our lives to be beyond questioning. When we make a mistake or someone is hurt by something we have done, even if we believed we acted innocently, we seek forgiveness and restoration so that our lives match the intent of our hearts.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #agree, #believed, #beyond, #cultivate, #dangerous, #deserved, #develop, #expect, #expectations, #forgiveness, #greater, #hearts, #hope, #hurt, #innocently, #intent, #intentions, #interactions, #kindness, #life, #mistake, #offend, #path, #perceived, #pray, #purposefully, #questioning, #respect, #restoration, #self-awareness, #way, #wish, Peace, Relationships

Sight

Oct 6

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for zen thought of the day

Sight –

I have a friend who has vision problems. Not eyesight but “heart-sight.” My friend was hurt a while ago by a group of people and is having difficulty letting go of the pain and rejection felt, still feels when the experience is thought about, re-lived.

My friend recognizes the blinders has upon their heart and mind. They realize the past keeps them from seeing any good in the ones who hurt them. His vision of them is dark, judgmental and biased. In their minds, there is a reluctance to admit there are good and positive things about them but the heartbreak makes even their most magnanimous acts of kindness and grace be viewed with suspicion.

“How,’ they ask, “How am I supposed to get past this? How long before I can move on?” I tell them the stories of my pain. I explain to them there is no timetable to heal a heart and soul deeply wounded. It takes as long as it takes. I remind them also that each of us has done things we would do differently if we could. I also remind them not to give up, not to allow the heartbreak to twist their soul and become embittered and unable to see the good in others again.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #admit, #allow, #biased, #blinders, #dark, #deeply, #differently, #embittered, #explain, #friend, #giveup, #good, #grace, #heart, #heartbreak, #hurt, #judgmental, #kindness, #magnanimous, #minds, #moveon, #pain, #past, #positive, #realize, #recognizes, #reluctance, #seeing, #suspicion, #timetable, #twist, #unable, #viewed, #wounded, Mind, Soul, Stories, Vision

Filling

Sep 14

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Filling –

This morning I went to the dentist. I hate going to the dentist! I went at 7:30AM because thinking about the appointment all day would make my anxiety grow by the hour. This way I wake up and go straight there and get it over. I take my phone and ear buds along with me to listen to, a dose of anti-anxiety medicine, and the dentist provides comforting words, gentle work and a supply of Nitrous Oxide (https://www.google.com/search?q=nitrous+oxide&oq=nitrous+o&aqs=chrome.0.0j69i57j0l4.2956j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8). When I first went to the dentist we sat and talked about my anxiety and claustrophobia issues. He understood and has done a fantastic job making me feel the least anxiety as possible. After it was over I left, slightly woozy but two teeth which needed fillings done completely.

The dentist is one of those things in life you don’t want to do but know have to be done. Know matter how much worry, dread, and procrastination, sooner or later you have to go and if it’s too much later you will regret it. As the numbing in my lips and gums wore off I thought about other things in life we don’t like to do but should. Forgiving people who have hurt us, asking forgiveness of those we have offended, reflecting on difficult and painful situations and asking; “What did I learn?”, allowing wisdom to search the deepest places in our lives, filling the holes in our minds, emotions, and spirits to be filled with kindness, love, and grace. These are never easy but waiting until we are ready might mean we never reach a place of healing and peace.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

1 Comment

Tags: #deepest, #difficult, #dread, #emotions, #forgiveness, #forgiving, #grace, #healing, #holes, #hurt, #kindness, #learn, #minds, #numbing, #painful, #procrastination, #reflecting, #regret, #search, #situations, #spirits, #waiting, #wisdom, #worry, Dentist, love, Peace

Out of Sight

Sep 12

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Out of Sight –

This past weekend I wrote about a tiny gray cat that has been hanging around the house. The last time I saw it was on Saturday. I had been putting food out for it hoping to convince it we meant no harm but unfortunately, the neighborhood dogs beat the kitten to the chow. It started raining yesterday afternoon and has been steady since then. Remnants of Hurricane Irma is giving us plenty of water and a bit of wind. My worry, however, is the kitten. Is it dry? Did a neighborhood dog get it? I haven’t seen it since the weekend and I have no idea where it is or what happened to it. So, I wait and see. Hopefully, it’s still hiding under the porch and will come out after the storm passes.

There are people in our lives like the kitten. A storm begins to batter them and they hide, afraid of its downpour and thunder. We long to help them, to show them kindness, to meet whatever needs we can if they would just come out of hiding. However, like the kitten, there are trust issues and perhaps they’ve been hurt before by people pretending to help or they’re used to people taking not giving. What do we do? We wait. If they come out of hiding during the storm we can cover them with acts of kindness. If they wait until after this is fine also. Kindness and love have no expiration date.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #actsofkindness, #afraid, #batter, #cover, #date, #expiration, #giving, #help, #hide, #hiding, #hurricane, #hurricaneirma, #hurt, #irma, #issues, #kindness, #kitten, #needs, #outofhiding, #pretending, #storm, #thunder, #trust, #wait, love, People

Another Way

Apr 18

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Another Way –

Our little farmhouse has many quirks. One of the most frustrating is no back door. At one time there was one in the kitchen but someone filled that one in and installed a dishwasher. Today, the handymen made a doorway out of a window in the hallway next to our bathroom they are remodeling. It was loud and dusty but they got it done and it looks great!

I sit here today with concerns about friends, family, and acquaintances on my heart and mind. A good man who I grew up with lost his father in a motorcycle accident on Easter Sunday. Another friend’s father has a mental illness that’s beginning to impact his family’s life and a tough decision will have to be made soon. Still another friend is facing a big battle filled with an extensive surgery and an even more difficult recovery.

I find myself wanting another way for these people who are suffering so much in different ways. I wish I had the power to create one. A way not filled with the pain of death, the uncertainty of life filled with disease. If I could I would knock down whatever obstacles which stood in their path but regretfully I do not have that kind of power.

What I can do is pray, offer and give any help needed and trust that though another way may not be available, the way of kindness, love, and grace, are still the balm of healing and new life.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: # newlife, #anewway, #death, #grace, #healing, #hurt, #kindness, #life, #pain, #recovery, #suffering, #surgery, #takeaway, #wisdom, love, Peace

Pampered

Apr 6

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for foot massager

Pampered –

I feel embarrassed to admit I am sitting on the couch, pajama pants rolled up to the knees with my feet soaking in hot water, mixed with Epsom salt. I’m not sure why it’s hard to admit except it doesn’t seem very manly. Of course, that’s a sexist thing to write and it feels really good! Foot massages are for everyone.

The last couple of weeks my feet have been hurting. I’ve bought a pack of gel insoles and arch supports but still after a long day my feet hurt to walk on. The other day I asked Beth if we had a foot massage and she said perhaps but it’s packed up in a box in the shed. It was her idea to add the Epsom salt. So today, I bought a water, foot massage, a big bag of Epsom salt and here I sit.

This has been a long, busy, tough week. My thoughts are in different places with people who are facing difficult challenges in the weeks, months and perhaps years to come. If had a foot massage and some Epsom salt for each of them it would be awesome. However, I also know that even if their feet felt better they would still have to overcome some intimidating obstacles to regain their health and well-being.

I can’t take away the pain, the disease, the needs. I can, however, pray and trust that in some way those who are worried, uncertain and hurting tonight can find comfort and contentment in the midst of it all.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #comfort, #contentment, #disease, #hurt, #needs, #obstacles, #overcome, #pampered, #pray, #trust, #uncertain, #wellbeing, #worried

TheWannabeSaint.com

…..a place for sojourners on this spiritual path called life

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Hate

Keep Your Feet

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Hate

Expecting

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Filling

Out of Sight

Another Way

Pampered

Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

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TheWannabeSaint.com

…..a place for sojourners on this spiritual path called life

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Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

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