I have a friend who is dealing with a broken relationship in his life. He has tried reaching out, apologizing, offering to make good on the accused slight he did to the offending party but nothing has worked. The wounded one doesn’t want anything to do with the other, has expressed his hatred for my friend numerous times, and it is bothering my friend something fierce.
He asked the question; “What else can I do?” after he listed all the things he’s tried to do to make up for something he’s not even sure he did. “You’re going to have to let them hate you.” I know this isn’t the answer he wanted but it was the only answer to give. When someone has been hurt by us whether we meant to or not it is not within our power to make them forgive us, to restore a broken relationship. As soon as we become aware of the pain, betrayal, we’ve caused we should immediately go to them, express a contrite and sincere spirit of sorrow apologizing for the behavior and offer to make penance to satisfy the other who has been wronged. If they accept, that’s great but if they don’t accept we have to live with that and though it’s not easy it is our only option.
What we hope for, pray for, look for every opportunity to make it right again in the future. However, for now, we must bear the burden of hate, knowing we have done all things within our power to right the wrong. We live with their hate and the separation hoping a time will come when both can reconnect and restore what’s been torn apart and destroyed.
Out of Reach –
A couple of weeks ago a strong thunderstorm dislodged a big limb from the huge Oak tree just outside of our front door. It was caught by other limbs about 15 feet from the ground. I noticed it last week and decided to take it down before it crashed onto the house, a vehicle or perhaps Beth or myself.
My idea was to pull the truck under the limb, climb on top of the cab, and try to grab it with something. Beth was not a fan of this plan. I got the truck in place, crawled on the truck as high as I could go and tried with a broom and a 2×4 to shake it loose. It didn’t work and Beth kept saying, rather loudly; “I don’t like this, you’re going to fall!” Managing to move it a few feet I was stretching as far as I could but the limb was frustratingly still out of reach. “I’ve got an idea!” I told Beth. “What if I jumped off the cab, grabbed the limb and pulled it down as I landed?” That was it. Beth, in rather stern language, made me get down and find another way. I retrieved a rope from my truck, tied a piece of wood to the end, and threw it over the limb and pulled it down. The limb was much longer than I realized and had many offshoots which made it difficult to finally get it free. After finishing I confessed to Beth that she was right, I was wrong, standing on the truck cab, trying to grab it was not a good idea and I probably would’ve hurt myself if I kept trying it this particular way.
Wisdom teaches us that certain things are out of reach for us. This doesn’t mean they’re always going to be unavailable, it simply means, for now, they aren’t ours to claim. However, too often we insist on grasping the elusive object immediately and troubles and pain follow. Knowing when and when not to go after something is as important as possessing it.