C.S. Lewis said; “Isn’t life interesting. One day everything looks the same and then, after some time passes, all things look differently.”
Yesterday, just after noon, I heard a door slam outside of our front door. I went outside and there was a large truck with a crane in the driveway turning around and reversing toward the backyard. I had no idea what was going on so I asked, more rudely then I intended, “Can I help you?” I shouted to the man over the noise of the truck who was directing the driver. “We’re here to pick up your propane tank!” he shouted back. Then it all made sense. Over a year ago we turned off the propane and called the propane company to come and pick up the tank. At long last, they were here and after only a few minutes they were gone with the tank on a flatbed truck.
It was dark when I got home last night so I didn’t ask Beth if she noticed any difference in the yard. This morning, however, as I walked her outside for work I popped the question. “I don’t see anything,‘ she said looking around. “Look harder.” I encouraged her. Wham! She saw it or rather didn’t see it. “They came and got the tank!” Eyes opened and a big smile.
Plato says; “We should not judge anyone’s progress no matter how slowly.”
It’s important for those of us who are slow to change, find it difficult to see the difference, to discover we are making progress. Wisdom teaches us not to be in a rush. Trust the way and it will lead us home.
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How Do You Feel?
Yesterday was my three-month check-up with the doctor in charge of the medicinal portion of my mental health plan. As someone with Chronic Severe Depression and a Severe Anxiety Disorder, the psychology group I go to has doctors who specialize in medical therapy and others who specialize in talk therapy. Together with the patient a plan is developed and intended to help them as much as possible.
Yesterday’s appointment was; “Meh, okay.” The therapist asked standard questions; “Are you taking your meds? How do you feel? Have you noticed any changes in mood or behavior? Any major life changes?” I answered all of them and told her I was following my plan except for one suggestion she’s made many times. We don’t agree and I don’t think it’s a big deal. She, the professional, thinks otherwise. I told her; “Yes, I am still…” she simply replied; “You know how I feel about that!” and we kept going with the conversation. I found it humorous that’s all she has to say and it’s enough. I either have to trust her and do it or not. She’s told me the benefits and even though I don’t see them I choose to fully follow the mental health plan or not. Sigh.
We’ve all been there with people we love and care for. We give them advice about life and after a point, we decide not to tell them again and again. We let them choose and deal with the results. I’ve done this with many of the people I work with but it’s interesting, and a little uncomfortable, to be on the other side.
Last night I sat in front of a roaring fire outside at our fire-pit. I had cleaned up the yard over the last two days and had limbs and other stuff we no longer needed to burn. I watched as the flames consumed the items and then deposit them in the air as smoke and ash.
I thought about life and all that we hold dear is quickly used up and thrown away. Nothing in this world is permanent. Everything is transient. I reflected upon the life of my friend who is suffering in a hospital holding on to a life which isn’t intended to endure. However, he holds on as tight as he can because he loves his family and his friends. He and we don’t want to say; “Goodbye.” In his weakened condition, he still worries about others and how they will make it without him.
The fire burns down and I start to feel the cold of the evening. I’ve run out of fuel to feed the flames. They get lower, the embers glow less brightly and soon will go out. I get up and move inside. A place of warmth, safety, and comfort. I pray my friend, at the right time, will leave this cold world and find his eternal dwelling place as well.