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Storms Pass By

Storms Pass By –

I stood on my porch a few moments ago watching the skies turn gray and the wind blow. I had received a weather warning earlier that thunderstorms were headed our way. I was excited because we need the rain. It was a wet late winter and early spring but it has been dry lately. However, the wind picked up and the skies became darker but no rain. Now it is sunny outside. More waiting and hand watering our plants and trees this evening.

Interesting how life works. There are actually storms we hope for and need and those from which we seek respite. I read an article this afternoon about “Introversion Hangovers.” These occur when an introvert becomes overstimulated by too much time around extroverts, events, experiences. Afterward, they require a time of recuperation. Introverts need a quiet, space and the opportunity to rest. For me, this subdue weekend has been that after a busy past couple of weeks. I am thankful the rhythm of life can, hopefully, get back to normal.

Storms come and go, impact us or miss us all together. Wherever we find ourselves may we also find peace.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannebsaint.com

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Unseen

May 15

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Unseen –

Last Saturday I was bitten by something. Not sure what it was but when I took a shower in the afternoon a section of my arm was tender to the touch. I looked at the affected area, showed it to Beth, and came to the conclusion it was most likely a spider bite. What’s interesting is I have no idea when I was bitten. I cleaned out a cluttered shed, picked up tree limbs, worked on a plumbing issue under a deck, and visited the local dump. All of these could have been the place where I was bitten. I’ve kept a close eye on the bite and after a day of swelling, there is only a bruise. I will continue to monitor it.

I was reading an article today about how our childhoods shape us. We are, in part, products of our genes, cultures, families, neighborhoods and overall environments. Some people have spotty memories of their childhoods. They can recall certain events and experiences but its hard to put them all together. Others have vivid memories or feelings about things that happened to them when they were young. As we get older, where we grew up, how we grew up, what happened to us, reveals itself. Healthy childhoods often mean healthy adults. Hard, troubled, traumatic childhoods can lead to difficult adult lives. We may even feel our childhoods were happy and peaceful growing up only to realize as we get older there are unseen, unknowable, memories, experiences, and events that have caused unhealthy behaviors and coping skills. We may not remember but that doesn’t mean we aren’t impacted.

Who we are, what we become, have much to do with how we adapt, overcome and accept all part of our lives.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mental Health

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Turn on the Light

May 5

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Turn on the Light –

The last few nights I have been watching an Unsolved Mystery Series about Paranormal Activity. It’s interesting to learn the history of a certain place, why it would be haunted and listen to those who have reportedly seen, felt, heard, witnessed a ghost. For the record, I don’t believe in ghosts, Big Foot or aliens. I understand that my unbelief doesn’t mean they don’t exist I just need proof, real, scientific, verifiable proof.

There are two hosts of the show; one is a “believer” the other a “cynic.” They travel around the world to different haunted sites and investigate, sometimes spending the night, trying to obtain proof of the paranormal. They usually arrive in the daytime and explore the site and when night comes find a place to sleep. It’s when dark comes the “fun” begins. The one who thinks spooks are real hears noises, whispers, thumps and automatically assumes its ghosts trying to communicate or scare the duo. The cynic laughs and dismisses it all as coincidence and his co-host’s overactive imagination. The cynic tries to sleep but the believer keeps him up all night long with questions; “did you hear that? I know you heard that! Did you feel that? Something moved past my leg!” By the time morning comes they are both worn out and neither has come over to the other’s point of view. Usually, at the crack of dawn, the believer is so relieved he made it through the night he is delirious and suddenly braver while the cynic is simply ready to leave.

It’s interesting the difference light makes. It shines, chasing away our darkest fears, deepest dreads, and restores what the darkness steals.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #activity, #aliens, #allnightlong, #arrive, #assumes, #automatically, #believer, #BigFoot, #blessings, #braver, #certain, #chasingaway, #coincidence, #communicate, #crackofdawn, #cynic, #dark, #darkest, #darknesssteals, #daytime, #deepest, #delirious, #difference, #dismisses, #dontbelieve, #dreads, #exist, #explore, #fears, #felt, #funbegins, #ghost, #ghosts, #haunted, #heard, #imagination, #interesting, #investigate, #laughs, #light, #morning, #mystery, #neither, #nightcomes, #nights, #noises, #obtain, #overactive, #Paranormal, #pointofview, #proof, #questions, #readytoleave, #real, #relieved, #restores, #scare, #scientific, #seen, #shines, #simply, #sleep, #spendingthenight, #spooks, #Suddenly, #thewannabesaint.com, #thumps, #TurnontheLight, #unbelief, #understand, #Unsolved, #verifiable, #whispers, #witnessed, #wornout, @BrianLoging, History, Listen

Truth

Apr 23

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for the post

Truth –

Last night I watched the “The Post” starring Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks. The film is described as; “thrilling, based on a true story. Determined to uphold the nation’s civil liberties, Katharine Graham (Streep), publisher of The Washington Post, and hard-nosed editor Ben Bradlee (Hanks) join forces to expose a decades-long cover-up. But the two must risk their careers –– and their freedom –– to bring truth to light in this powerful film (https://www.foxmovies.com/movies/the-post).” It was an interesting movie dealing with an historic and chaotic time in this nation that I am too young to remember. I did find myself cheering Streep’s and Hank’s characters on as they took a case of the freedom of the press all the way to the Supreme Court. I won’t spoil the ending but it was a good watch and worth anyone’s time who is interested in an event that would directly impact how the press covered the Watergate break-in (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watergate_scandal) and news moving forward to the present.

What I’ve wrestled with since watching the movie is; “News exists in a vacuüm. The lives of the reporters, editors, and publishers are swayed by their political leanings, experiences, preferences, and worldviews.” We as the readers face the same limitation in our consumption of news. There are so many places to receive our news today that we can stay perpetually stuck in a bubble where only our viewpoints are legitimized. When this happens we cease being open to new ideas or our current ones being scrutinized and challenged. We become entombed, trapped by our own beliefs and limited knowledge. The truth isn’t important anymore only our belief of what is true.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness, Wisdom

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Tags: #based, #beliefs, #BenBradlee, #blessings, #break-in, #bubble, #careers, #cease, #challenged, #chaotic, #civilliberties, #consumption, #cover-up, #covered, #current, #described, #determined, #directly, #editor, #editors, #ending, #entombed, #event, #exists, #experiences, #exposé, #forces, #freedom, #freedomofthepress, #historic, #impact, #important, #interesting, #KatharineGraham, #knowledge, #leanings, #legitimized, #light, #limitation, #limited, #lives, #nation, #newideas, #open, #perpetually, #political, #powerful, #preferences, #present, #press, #publisher, #publishers, #readers, #receive, #reporters, #risk, #scrutinized, #spoil, #story, #SupremeCourt, #swayed, #ThePost, #thewannabesaint.com, #TheWashingtonPost, #thrilling, #time, #trapped, #true, #truth, #uphold, #vacuum, #viewpoints, #Watergate, #worldviews, #wrestled, @BrianLoging, Film, History

Touching Life

Apr 7

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Touching Life –

I watched a video today about a woman, who is afraid of spiders, try to get past her fear by being in the same room, sitting close to one, and eventually touching one and allowing it to touch her. It was an interesting study of fear, facing what frightens us and hopefully overcoming it.

Being fearful keeps us from participating in all life has to offer. As someone with an anxiety disorder, I am acutely acquainted with fear, in fact, its one of my worst friends. I don’t know the source of my fear. One of the reasons I go to therapy is to hopefully one day discover it. Perhaps its as simple as a chemical imbalance and the right combination of medicines will mostly alleviate the ball of worry and stress which sits on my stomach most days. Maybe its memories or experiences which I’ve buried and one-day uncovering them will set me on the path to a more lasting peace.

Whatever the path I travel I want it to be toward knowing joy, not fear, connecting not being disconnected, living not simply existing.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in #anxiety, Mental Health

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Tags: #acquainted, #acutely, #afraid, #alleviate, #allowing, #anxiety, #anxietydisorder, #blessings, #buried, #chemical, #chemicalimbalance, #combination, #connecting, #disconnected, #discover, #disorder, #eventually, #existing, #experiences, #facing, #fearful, #friends, #frightens, #hopefully, #imbalance, #interesting, #joy, #knowing, #lasting, #life, #living, #medicines, #memories, #offer, #overcoming, #participating, #pastherfear, #path, #reasons, #simply, #source, #spiders, #stomach, #stress, #Study, #therapy, #thewannabesaint.com, #touch, #Touching, #toward, #uncovering, #watched, #woman, #worry, #worst, @BrianLoging, Peace, Travel

How do You Feel?

Mar 30

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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How Do You Feel?

Yesterday was my three-month check-up with the doctor in charge of the medicinal portion of my mental health plan. As someone with Chronic Severe Depression and a Severe Anxiety Disorder, the psychology group I go to has doctors who specialize in medical therapy and others who specialize in talk therapy. Together with the patient a plan is developed and intended to help them as much as possible.

Yesterday’s appointment was; “Meh, okay.” The therapist asked standard questions; “Are you taking your meds? How do you feel? Have you noticed any changes in mood or behavior? Any major life changes?” I answered all of them and told her I was following my plan except for one suggestion she’s made many times. We don’t agree and I don’t think it’s a big deal. She, the professional, thinks otherwise. I told her; “Yes, I am still…” she simply replied; “You know how I feel about that!” and we kept going with the conversation. I found it humorous that’s all she has to say and it’s enough. I either have to trust her and do it or not. She’s told me the benefits and even though I don’t see them I choose to fully follow the mental health plan or not. Sigh.

We’ve all been there with people we love and care for. We give them advice about life and after a point, we decide not to tell them again and again. We let them choose and deal with the results. I’ve done this with many of the people I work with but it’s interesting, and a little uncomfortable, to be on the other side.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in #anxiety, #depression, Mental Health

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Tags: #agree, #answered, #anxiety, #behavior, #benefits, #bigdeal, #blessings, #care, #changes, #check-up, #Choose, #chronic, #conversation, #deal, #decide, #depression, #disorder, #doctor, #doctor's, #either, #enough, #Except, #feel, #follow, #following, #group, #help, #humorous, #intended, #interesting, #life, #major, #medical, #medicinal, #mentalhealth, #mentalhealthplan, #mood, #patient, #plan, #point, #portion, #professional, #questions, #replied, #results, #severe, #simply, #specialize, #standard, #suggestion, #therapy, #thewannabesaint.com, #three-month, #trust, #uncomfortable, .#developed, @BrianLoging, advice, love, Psychology, Talk

Another Way

Mar 25

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for well jerusalem

Another Way –

This morning the pastor spoke from a selection of scripture regarding the story of how David, from the Bible, became King and conquered Jerusalem. It is an interesting story from the book of Second Samuel. When David, newly anointed, marched with his armies to the city of Jerusalem to reclaim it from the Jebusites, the foreigners were unimpressed. A ragtag, wannabe, King with his little army? How could they defeat the Jebusite army who far outnumbered them and were held up in the city of Jerusalem which had a great wall around it to repel invasion forces? They mocked David and told him they could put blind and lame men at the main gate and David still wouldn’t get in. However, David knew there was an access to the city through its water supply and his men came up through a well in the city and mounted a surprise attack to conquer the Jebusites.

“The king and his men marched to Jerusalem to attack the Jebusites, who lived there. The Jebusites said to David, “You will not get in here; even the blind and the lame can ward you off.” They thought, “David cannot get in here.” Nevertheless, David captured the fortress of Zion—which is the City of David.

On that day David had said, “Anyone who conquers the Jebusites will have to use the water shaft to reach those ‘lame and blind’ who are David’s enemies.[a]” That is why they say, “The ‘blind and lame’ will not enter the palace.”

David then took up residence in the fortress and called it the City of David. He built up the area around it, from the terraces[b] inward. And he became more and more powerful because the Lord God Almighty was with him.”
-Book of Second Samuel, Chapter 5

As I listened to the story I thought of challenges, difficulties, illnesses and other “enemies” had strongholds in my life. It seemed no matter what I tried I couldn’t defeat them. It was only after I stopped trying to take them “head on” that wisdom made known to me another way. There are battles for our spirits, emotions, our innermost being that requires us to be not frantic but still, not exhausting ourselves but saving our strength, not egotistical but willing to ask for and accept help, not stubborn but soft and bending, not stronger but wiser.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #accept, #access, #another, #anotherway, #area, #askfor, #attack, #battles, #being, #bending, #blessings, #blind, #builtup, #called, #captured, #challenges, #chapter, #conquer, #defeat, #difficulties, #egotistical, #emotions, #enemies, #exhausting, #forces, #frantic, #greatwall, #headon, #heldup, #help, #Illnesses, #innermost, #interesting, #Invasion, #inward, #lame, #life, #listened, #marched, #mocked, #mounted, #ourselves, #outnumbered, #powerful, #ragtag, #reclaim, #repel, #requires, #residence, #Samuel, #saving, #second, #secondsamuel, #seemed, #shaft, #soft, #spirits, #spoke, #still, #stopped, #strength, #stronger, #strongholds, #stubborn, #supply, #surprise, #thewannabesaint.com, #tried, #trying, #unimpressed, #wannabe, #ward, #water, #way, #well, #willing, #wisdom, #wiser, @BrianLoging, Pastor, Thought

Tender Touch

Mar 11

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for washing hair

Tender Touch –

I washed a friend’s hair today. That’s a sentence most people don’t type often. It was an interesting experience. Washing my hair isn’t nearly as exciting. I think it’s because I don’t have much hair but also because I do it almost every day. I know how hot I like the water, the amount of shampoo I need, the best way to move my hands and arms so I can do a good and quick job, the pressure it takes to get my head and hair clean but not so hard I hurt myself. When washing another’s hair you aren’t sure about any of these things so you are more hesitant, you listen to their instructions intently, careful you are cleaning their head and hair but not scrubbing their scalp off! I did a decent job, spilling some water on their shirt, needed more shampoo because they actually have hair, but overall they were a satisfied client.

Human interaction comes in all shapes and sizes. We connect with each other in a variety of ways. Hopefully, we come out the better for it afterward. Often we take these joinings for granted. We interact with each other and forget how important these linkings are to who and what we are and become. It’s a delicate dance to make sure we don’t violate each other’s space and move together allowing each one to lead and follow, instruct and listen, b secure enough in the relationship to simply be or change entirely.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #actually, #afterward, #allowing, #almost, #amount, #arms, #become, #best, #better, #blessings, #careful, #change, #cleaning, #client, #connect, #dance, #decent, #delicate, #each, #eachother, #entirely, #exciting, #experience, #follow, #forget, #good, #granted, #hands, #hesitant, #hopefully, #human, #hurt, #important, #instruct, #instructions, #intently, #interact, #interaction, #interesting, #joinings, #linkings, #move, #need, #needed, #often, #other, #pressure, #quick, #satisfied, #secure, #shapes, #simply, #sizes, #space, #spilling, #tender, #tendertouch, #thewannabesaint.com, #think, #together, #touch, #variety, #violate, #washing, #water, #way, #ways, @BrianLoging, Lead, Listen, People, Relationship

Hubris

Jan 3

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Hubris –

Hubris – excessive pride or self-confidence. synonyms: arrogance, conceit, haughtiness, hauteur, pride, self-importance, egotism, pomposity, superciliousness, superiority.

I watched a webinar today hosted by an esteemed professor on the role of genetics in the development of humanity both culturally and individually. It was an interesting presentation and clearly, the man was intelligent and dogmatic in his proposal. It didn’t take long, however, to realize the man was also proud of himself and said more than once; “This is the way it is and there is no other way.” He even went as far as to insinuate that if a person thought differently they were clearly not his equal.

This attitude has always rubbed me the wrong way. The thinking and feeling of someone else that they are superior to others. While it is true individuals may have more learning in certain areas than others it is usually because the other hasn’t put the time into the subject as another not because they are; “smarter.”

I’ve worked with and for leaders who have shown hubris, pride, arrogance. I’ve also worked with and for leaders who are humble. I have family and friends who fit both these descriptions. And, to be honest, I could rightly be accused of hubris on more than one occasion.

It’s an easy path to walk, the way of self-importance and self-indulgence. A wise person once told me; “Ego breeds ego.” In other words, no one wins when egos clash, but the fallout always brings pain and difficulty to many lives.

But I know that today many seek their way gropingly and don’t know in whom to trust. To them I say: believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it. #AndreGide

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Wisdom, Wisdom Quotes

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Tags: #accused, #arrogance, #Attitude, #blessings, #breeds, #certain, #clash, #conceit, #descriptions, #development, #differently, #difficulty, #dogmatic, #ego, #egotism, #equal, #esteemed, #excessive, #feeling, #friends, #genetics, #haughtiness, #hauteur, #honest, #hosted, #hubris, #humanity, #individuals, #insinuate, #intelligent, #interesting, #learning, #occasions, #pain, #path, #pomposity, #presentation, #pride, #professor, #proposal, #proud, #realize, #rubbed, #self-confidence, #self-importance, #self-indulgence, #smarter, #subject, #superciliousness, #superior, #superiority, #thinking, #true, #walk, #way, #webinar, #wins, #wise, #wrong, Family, Culture, Leaders, Thought

Forgive

Nov 15

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Forgive –

I found this to be an interesting quote. I’m not sure how to forgive; “everything” or if everything needs forgiveness but certainly believe that forgiveness. Genuine forgiveness is in short supply.

We live in a world where everyone seems angry over something. We fight with family, friends, strangers, internet buddies, internet trolls about banal topics that are of no consequence and about subjects with grave consequences. The problem is we can’t tell the difference and fight over everything.

To live with an attitude of forgiveness, to be a walking, breathing living example of forgiveness in a world that hates, fights, shames, shuns, is to invite hurt, pain, betrayal, and accusations of being out of touch. However, it’s also the antidote to the poison that threatens to kill all we hold dear.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: #accusations, #angry, #antidote, #Attitude, #banal, #being, #believe, #betrayal, #blessings, #breathing, #buddies, #consequence, #difference, #everything, #example, #fight, #fights, #forgive, #forgiveness, #friends, #genuine, #grave, #hates, #hurt, #interesting, #internet, #invite, #kill, #live, #living, #needs, #outoftouch, #pain, #poison, #problem, #quote, #shames, #shortsupply, #shuns, #strangers, #subjects, #threatens, #topics, #trolls, #walking, Family, World

TheWannabeSaint.com

…..a place for sojourners on this spiritual path called life

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Storms Pass By

Unseen

Turn on the Light

Truth

Touching Life

Another Way

Tender Touch

Hubris

Forgive

Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

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