Blog Archives
Falling
Posted by thewannabesaint.com
Falling –
Last night I had a dream about falling down a bottomless pit. My speed kept increasing and I was doing my best not to hit the walls of the pit and hurt myself. However, as my eyes adjusted to the darkness I could see there were ladders attached to the walls and if I timed it right I could catch a rung and begin climbing out of the pit. I woke up before I had decided to try and catch myself on a ladder or keep falling.
I have a lot of dreams like this one. Dreams of being late to a meeting and not being able to get there. Dreams of having to take a test and never have been in class, the teacher, the other students, the room are all unrecognizable but it’s time for the test. Dreams of being stuck, lost, and a sense of impending doom. I often wake up from these dreams and have no idea where I am. For a fleeting moment, my own homeĀ is unfamiliar. It’s always frightening but slowly I remember and things come into focus.
I’ve spoken with my talk therapist about it and it’s not unusual. Having a mental illness that includes a severe anxiety disorder is, in part, living scared. The key is finding my center, relocating my balance and allowing the fear to sometimes leave but most times settle so I can get out of bed and refuse to let it win.
In my dream, I didn’t grab the ladder but right now, at this moment, I know that I am reaching out and that has to be good enough.
For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
blessings,
@BrianLoging
Share w/ Someone...
Posted in #anxiety, Mental Health
Tags: #adjusted, #allowing, #attached, #beinglate, #blessings, #bottomlesspit, #catch, #catchmyself, #climbing, #comeintofocus, #darkness, #decided, #dream, #dreams, #falling, #fear, #fearwin, #findingmycenter, #fleetingmoment, #frightening, #grabtheladder, #hurt, #impendingdoom, #increasing, #keepfalling, #key, #ladders, #livingscared, #lost, #mentalillness, #Myself, #noidea, #notbeingable, #poems, #posts, #reflections, #refuse, #relocatingmybalance, #remember, #sense, #settle, #SevereAnxietyDisorder, #stuck, #takeatest, #talktherapist, #trying, #unfamiliar, #unrecognizable, #unusual, #wakeup, #www.thewannabesaint.com, @BrianLoging, moment, Writings