Blog Archives
The Sudden Stop at the End
There are days when we put our dog Scooby on a zip line so he can exercise and not be tied to a leash. He’s not on it for long but he likes the freedom and until we finish our fence it’s the best option. The zip line runs across the driveway so we take it down after we’re done so we can move our vehicles safely.
The other day I took him outside, clipped him to the cable tethered to the zip line and was going to cinch it in place on a pole when all of a sudden Scooby spied a cat sneaking through the front yard. “Pew!” he was gone dragging the zip line with him. I ran after him and rounded the corner of the front porch as Scooby ran out of zip line and cable. “Screech!” He seemed confused at first. There was something he wanted and had the freedom, ability, and determination to get it and then he was stopped in his tracks with no way forward. I shook my head, he barked at the cat that was nowhere to be seen and we both went up and put the zip line in its proper place.
Walking into the house I thought about life and the goals we want to achieve. At times we are able to claim the prize, other times we are stopped suddenly so close yet so far from accomplishing them. We have dreams which are unfulfilled, relationships that fall apart or never materialize, love unrequited.
Life can be glorious but it can also be relentless. We have this moment and we must live it fully. We are never guaranteed another second.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com
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Life and a Tuna Fish Sandwich
Mayonnaise is a tricky condiment. When using too much food gets messy, too little and food becomes dry. I made Tuna Fish today and ended up on the soupy side. It’s better than it being dry but it was hard keeping the Tuna on the tortilla shell.
While I was eating I thought about life and the last few weeks. They’ve been tough. I have felt dry emotionally and spiritually. Setting the clocks back an hour so that darkness comes much earlier doesn’t help either. I desire life to be easy. Not too easy or everything would be taken for granted but easier so that everything doesn’t seem like a chore.
Life is tricky, messy, sometimes easy, a lot of times hard. Like a Tuna Fish sandwich, the current mood and state of mind, doesn’t last forever.
blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com
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Cracked, Part 2
Yesterday I wrote about cracking my phone screen on Saturday (Cracked – https://thewannabesaint.com/2018/10/28/cracked-3/). Today, however, I discovered I didn’t crack my screen at all it was the screen protector that cracked like a spider web on top of the screen. The screen protector did its job, was a worthy investment, and the next Verizon store I come across I’ll be buying another one!
It was a shock to see the screen protector was damaged and not the actual phone screen. It reminded me of attending a week-long seminar about the importance of raising children, being raised ourselves, and living presently in a safe, nurturing, environment. The woman who taught the class, named Michelle, said that all of us, especially babies and young children, need the protection, the shield, of a parent’s love, a welcoming and supportive home, other people in our lives who will affirm our worth.
These essentials are protective layers that wrap around us and teach us how to be resilient. When tough times come, and they always do, our layers will help us have the strength to meet challenges and difficulties head on without lasting damage being done to our core selves.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Defined By What We Overcome
A couple of weeks ago I sat in a meeting with 20 or so people. There was a presentation from an organization that’s part of the Tennessee Department of Health. There were two presenters for a lengthy and in-depth description of their services. One of the presenters had a challenge with her speaking. She stuttered. Listening to her was inspiring. She didn’t let her challenge become an obstacle. She was articulate, educated and as she continued her stutter became less noticable. She would NOT let it define her and it didn’t.
It was a great reminder that each person is walking a path and encountering challenges. We do not get to pick our struggles but we do choose whether or not they wll define us. Oftentimes the greatest among us are those who have overcome the most.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Lose Our Sight
We all lose our sight at times on this journey called life. Hopefully, we have people who love us, will guide us, and help us see life in a new and different way.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Use the Bounce
Use the Bounce
Using a pruning extension saw is serious! I pruned a couple of tall trees today and my shoulders, arms, hands, and fingers hurt. When you extend the saw the full height there isn’t much pressure you can put on the blade to cut the branches. The saw teeth grab the branch, begin to saw, and the limb bounces up and down. It can be frustrating to keep the blade in the gap to keep cutting. The beginner tries to apply more pressure to keep the limb from bouncing. The experienced pruner uses the bounce. When the branch goes down he goes up and vice versa. Soon a rhythm starts and the limb and saw are working together instead of against.
Life is similar. It’s hard to get a hold of at times. Seasons when life is unsteady and we find it hard to find our balance. The more we tighten our grip the more it slips through our hands. However, if we learn to ride out the ups and downs of life we can find our balance and our rhythm.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Difference between Misery and Happiness
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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No Traction
No Traction –
Yesterday I evening I went out to mow grass. I was hoping to have enough time and begin early enough to finish before the thunderstorms that were forecasted started. I wrote about the steering mower being able to turn only right so it’s tricky to get the yard mowed and looking nice. As the sun began to set I finished the front and moved to the back. Unfortunately, it began to lightly rain. Not enough to make me stop but enough to get the grass wet. This caused me to begin to lose traction on the small hill that makes up our backyard. I’d start up the incline only being able to turn right and would come to a standstill. I could only steer right when I needed to go left and began sliding down the incline. Over and over this happened and it was exasperating!
A few weeks ago my medical therapist changed one of my prescriptions. As someone who lives with Chronic Depression and Severe Anxiety, this happens sometimes when certain symptoms aren’t being dealt with effectively. The worse part of switching meds is you have to come off one slowly while beginning the other one the same way. Even with tapering down and up I’ve had difficulty with withdrawal. Depression and Anxiety are mental illnesses so when your brain is used to one medicine and you change it your brain goes through a transition. Since the recommended change I am struggling to find traction. It won’t be like this forever but when you feel like you can’t get to where you want to go it can be frustrating and exhausting.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Elusive
Elusive –
Yesterday morning while we were standing in our kitchen, my wife and I heard a “snap!” and I asked; “What was that?” Beth said; “Sounded like a mousetrap.” We haven’t had enough rain and it’s been too warm for them to need shelter but soon we heard the squeal of a trapped mouse. Beth was leaving for work and I went and grabbed a bag to dispose of the mouse. As I began to open the drawer with the trap I heard movement and by the time I got it halfway open the little mouse had freed itself and escaped!
I didn’t feel too bad about the little creature getting away. To come that close to death and not die it deserved another chance to live. Over the last two days, I’ve thought about elusive things and how it can be hard to get a handle on life. We have bad habits that we think we’ve beat only to fall back into them again. Maybe its a relationship that requires a lot of work and we wonder if it’s worth it. Perhaps a physical or mental illness that lingers and our hopes of getting better permanently are unrequited.
The choice to try again when all you’ve been doing is trying, and failing, can be a daunting challenge but often reaching the most elusive goals are worth the extra time and effort.
For more posts, reflections, and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
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Pulled Up through the Roots
Pulled Up through the Roots –
It was late last night when I finally sat down and read scripture for the day. It was Psalm 1. I read it as rain pounded on the roof, truly one of life’s most beautiful sounds. We’ve been dry lately. The storms have passed us by leaving the ground, trees, and plants desperate for water. Earlier in the evening, I thought I heard raining so I turned off all the fans and listened as it pinged on our porch’s tin roof. I checked again before heading to the bedroom and it was still coming down.
Psalm 1 says this:
-The Two Ways-
Blessed are those who do not follow the advice of the wicked,
or take the path that sinners tread,
or be counted among the malcontents;
their delight is in the of the Lord and his way,
and on him, they meditate day and night.They are like trees planted by streams of water,
which yield their fruit in its season,
and their leaves do not wither.
In all that they do, they prosper.
The wicked are not so
but are like dry leaves and bark that the wind drives away.Therefore the wicked will not be found innocent,
nor sinners among the people who are humble;
for the Lord watches over the way of all,
but the way of the wicked will perish.
I reflected on these verses as I listened to the rain and it was a great reminder not to be an unpleasant person, not to choose a way of life that only benefits myself, to be rooted in God, pulling up through my roots; love, kindness, humility, and bloom in a too often evil world.
For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
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Source
Source –
I mowed the grass today. Actually, I mowed patches of grass that have grown in spite of their being no rain for the last several weeks. Where it has grown was tall but a most of the yard is dead or dying grass that crunches under your feet as you walk on it. However, up the hill in the corner our backyard, there was a place where the grass has grown well. It’s where I have a hose set up to automatically deliver water to an Apple tree we planted this year. Anytime we turn on the water by the house to water flowers, wash vehicles or clean something the Apple tree is given sustenance. When I was weed-eating today this area was thick and lush. The difference between the watered area and about six feet away was remarkable with the latter area being brown and brittle.
As I finished trimming the area I reflected on both patches and how we live our lives. The drought we are experiencing has impacted land as far as the eye can see; brownish grass, trees dropping their leaves, creeks, and streams low and barely moving. However, where there has been a source of water the grass is green, the trees are healthy, blooms and blossoms abound and leaves are strongly attached. It’s a good reminder that we make the choice of being a source of love, goodness, kindness, and life to a parched world. Many times emotions, spirits, lives can dry up. Events and happenings can sap us of our will to live. Difficulties, challenges, tragedies, empty us of the joy and experience of what it means to be alive. We can be a source to help them in their times of drought and hope when our spirits and emotions are depleted, others will return the favor.
For most posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
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Recurring Problems
Recurring Problems –
When our Siberian Husky was young he chewed the fur off of his tail the first time he “casted.” Twice, or more, a year a Siberian Husky will shed its underfur, the bottom coat next to the skin, that allows a Husky to survive in extreme cold. When “casting” happens there’s a lot of scratching and chewing on his part, brushing and grooming on ours. Earlier this summer, for the first time in his life, Trooper contracted fleas. We washed him, sprayed him, brushed him, all in an effort to give him some relief. We were able to rid him of the fleas but washed him and sprayed him too much. This dried out the skin and caused more itching and biting. Earlier this week we noticed he had chewed and licked a bare spot on his back. We asked a specialist about what we could do and they recommended Coconut oil applied to the bare spot which will soothe his skin, stop the itching, and, hopefully, allow him relief and his fur to grow back.
Trooper is thirteen years old and this is the first time he’s done this behavior since he was a few months old. Old patterns of handling problems, challenges, and difficulties die hard. We think we’ve learned and know better only to repeat a negative pattern of behavior. New skills, ways of dealing with life and its ups and downs, good and bad, are necessary if we’re to live life moving forward instead of circling back again and again.
For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit:
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
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Playing the Cards You’re Dealt
Playing the Cards You’re Dealt –
This video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvECZ_ZXGqs) was amazing. Watching this young woman be given four random notes on index cards and from those notes play an extraordinary piece of improvised musing was marvelous. It makes me wonder about the mystery of the human brain and soul, and its capability for good and bad, right and wrong, positive and negative impact on this world.
While watching I also reflected on the phrase; “playing the cards you’re dealt.” The saying comes from the card game of poker but is applicable to all of life. Life is the dealer and the “cards we’re dealt” or what, where, who, we’re born to and in goes a long way in determining about what our life becomes. How we play those cards, choose to live our life is the way we play our hand. Some that seem to born with all the advantages either use or lose their blessings. While others come into the world with the cards stacked against them turn their lives into miracles.
It’s not the hand you’re dealt but how you play the hand that counts.
For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit:
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
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Life Finds a Way
Life Finds a Way –
Outside of our bathroom window, there is a huge limb that was torn down by a massive thunderstorm last year. I was able to get most of its almost twenty-five-foot length sawed off and hauled away but the chainsaw I used stopped working. It was my intent to get to the last, biggest, ten-foot portion of it but never did. Yesterday, while mowing the grass, I noticed there was a plant growing out of the long-dead limb. What was lifeless and useless had become home to new life.
Today is a friend’s birthday. It is a bittersweet day because it is the first one she’s had in over forty years that she cannot share with her partner who passed away. It has been a hard day for her. She has friends who are looking after her, a family that’s doing their best to care but it’s not the same. There’s not an hour that goes by she doesn’t think about him. Not a day where her heart doesn’t ache from the hole death has left in her life. However, in the midst of loss, new growth has begun. It’s slow and most days unrecognizable but it’s there; a new courage and a new strength. The new life doesn’t replace the loss. It grows partly because of and in spite of it.
In the midst of heartbreak that is this world, life finds a way.
For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings please visit www.thewannabesaint.com
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
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Shake it Off
Shake it Off –
Being the owner of a Siberian Husky is a challenge in many ways, not least of which is keeping the hair cast-off in check. Huskies “cast” their fur twice a year which is when they get rid of their entire under-coating. However, they shed year round. Brushing, sweeping, vacuuming, are part of the deal when dealing with this breed. One of the first acts Trooper does when going outside is rolling over on his back trying to get rid of loose hair that’s been itching and bothering him. Following this, he has grass clippings, small limbs, and leaves all over his back. So, we have taught him to “shake off” before coming into the house. We give him the command and most times he’ll give a good shake before coming inside.
Watching him do this is a good reminder that life can be burdensome. There are people, places, and things which annoy us. If we aren’t careful we can carry difficulties and challenges with us instead of letting them go. I don’t think we need to roll around on the ground or have a fit before walking inside our homes, but mentally we can shed our minds, emotions, and spirits of the negative bothersome issues of life.
Shake it off. Find relief and peace.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Empathy
Empathy –
My wife is a wonderful woman, and brave. Brave because she went to Wal-Mart on Saturday afternoon! There are many reasons she’s wonderful but her concern and empathy for people and other things overwhelms me sometimes. Today, on her way to what we infamously call; “Wally World” a chipmunk jumped on the road and tried to run across when Beth was at the same spot with her car. “Thump, thump,” was all she heard but it was enough. She called me a few minutes after leaving the house and I knew something had happened. “Hello?” I answered. “Hey. I ran over a chipmunk,” she replied on the verge of tears. “It came out of nowhere and I tried to stop but couldn’t and that’s when I heard the ‘Thump!‘” I listened to her and told her I was sorry. “I know you would never do that if you could avoid it.” She knew this also and after a while she was okay. I asked her to be safe and remember that I love her. We hung up and the rest of the day has been without incident but the confession over her accidentally taking the life of a rodent is one of the many reasons my life is better because she’s in it.
While she was gone, after the phone call, I reflected on her having a heart big enough that a chipmunk she didn’t know existed a moment before the incident could have an impact on her. I wondered what our families, communities, nation, and the world would be like if each of us had the respect, concern, and empathy for all things, especially each other. I think we’d all live and be in a happier, safer, place.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Almost Finished
Almost Finished –
I started mowing the grass today around 10:00AM. According to the weather report, a front was pushing through our area near 1:00PM and it takes about 3 hours to mow and weed our yard. It was hot and humid when I began, the skies were blue with puffy clouds. It was warm enough to sweat even though I was on a riding mower. I stopped to drink some water when I finished the back and noticed a patch of dark clouds coming my way. I continued mowing and all of a sudden the wind picked up, the temperature dropped and the skies grew dark. I increased my speed and hoped to get finished in time. Fortunately, I did complete the mowing but the bottom fell out of the sky and I couldn’t squeeze the weeding in because of the heavy rain.
As the rain pounded on the tin roof of our porch I reflected on life and all that is done and left undone. We fill our lives with appointments, events, occasions. We think we have time to do everything which needs to be done. The sun shines on us, the blue skies and the beauty of being alive gives us the illusion that time is on our side. Then a storm of disappointment, disillusion, danger, and death reminds us that time is limited and we can’t take even a moment for granted.
#BenjaminFranklin said; “Be careful with every moment. For these are what life is made.”
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Are You There?
Are You There?
A couple of hours ago a storm blew into our area with winds and thunder but no rain, at least for us. I was on the couch with my earbuds in. This is why I didn’t hear the storm or our Siberian Husky, Trooper, come into the living room and sit down right next to me and stare. Suddenly I had a feeling of being watched and I looked in his direction to find his face a few inches from mine. It startled me! “What are you doing?” When I heard the thunder I realized he was looking for comfort. I patted him on the head, scratched ears and told him it was; “okay.” I guess he heard and understood because he went back to his favorite spot on the foyer floor and laid down. He’s still asleep now.
In times of uncertainty, calamity, unsettledness, and fear, what we want, need to know if someone is there for us. As adult humans, we understand that a person’s presence might not fix or solve the problem but it does remind us we are not abandoned. It is one of the deepest longings at the heart of existence; the assurance that on this journey call life, we don’t walk alone.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
