Blog Archives

Frustration

Frustration –

This morning I had an early appointment in Nashville to being a training. I put the address in my GPS app on my phone and off I went. It took me to the exact spot I’d entered into the phone but there was one problem, it was the wrong address. It took me a moment to realize my mistake until I literally got to the end of a dead-end road. Argh! I felt my frustration starting to grow. Instead of being 30 minutes early I was going to be late. I checked the address again, realized where I made my mistake, and set off in the right direction. Trying not to let my anxiety rise to a harmful level I turned on a three-lane road and stopped at a traffic light. I was in the far right lane, an SUV in the center lane, and a sports car in the left lane. I heard yelling and realized it was the SUV driver and the sports car driver having a road rage episode. I couldn’t make out much of what they were saying and the words I could understand I don’t dare repeat.

I sat there listening and watching the living embodiment of frustration out of control; testosterone, anger, and vitriol spewing out of both of them. It made me take stock of my mood and I realized it wasn’t worth getting upset over my mistake and to let it go. I did, arrived at the training on time and am thankful for the lesson two men out of control could teach me.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Leave a comment

Tags: #address, #anger, #anxiety, #blessings, #checked, #dead-end, #embodiment, #episode, #exact, #frustration, #GPS, #grow, #harmful, #late, #lesson, #letitgo, #level, #listening, #living, #mistake, #mood, #outofcontrol, #realized, #rightdirection, #rise, #road, #roadrage, #setoff, #spewing, #spot, #starting, #takestock, #teach, #thankful, #thewannabesaint.com, #training, #understand, #upset, #Vitriol, #watching, #worth, #wrong, #yelling, @BrianLoging, moment

Touching Life

Apr 7

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Touching Life –

I watched a video today about a woman, who is afraid of spiders, try to get past her fear by being in the same room, sitting close to one, and eventually touching one and allowing it to touch her. It was an interesting study of fear, facing what frightens us and hopefully overcoming it.

Being fearful keeps us from participating in all life has to offer. As someone with an anxiety disorder, I am acutely acquainted with fear, in fact, its one of my worst friends. I don’t know the source of my fear. One of the reasons I go to therapy is to hopefully one day discover it. Perhaps its as simple as a chemical imbalance and the right combination of medicines will mostly alleviate the ball of worry and stress which sits on my stomach most days. Maybe its memories or experiences which I’ve buried and one-day uncovering them will set me on the path to a more lasting peace.

Whatever the path I travel I want it to be toward knowing joy, not fear, connecting not being disconnected, living not simply existing.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in #anxiety, Mental Health

Leave a comment

Tags: #acquainted, #acutely, #afraid, #alleviate, #allowing, #anxiety, #anxietydisorder, #blessings, #buried, #chemical, #chemicalimbalance, #combination, #connecting, #disconnected, #discover, #disorder, #eventually, #existing, #experiences, #facing, #fearful, #friends, #frightens, #hopefully, #imbalance, #interesting, #joy, #knowing, #lasting, #life, #living, #medicines, #memories, #offer, #overcoming, #participating, #pastherfear, #path, #reasons, #simply, #source, #spiders, #stomach, #stress, #Study, #therapy, #thewannabesaint.com, #touch, #Touching, #toward, #uncovering, #watched, #woman, #worry, #worst, @BrianLoging, Peace, Travel

Knocking

Mar 16

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for mindful quote of the day

Knocking –

This morning I woke up with a headache. It felt like a giant was knocking on the front door of my face. I at breakfast took a pill and laid back down. It helped a little but it’s been painful off and on most of the afternoon.

Last week a friend told me he had a “secret knock” whenever he went over to his mother’s home. He said this knock was for her to know that it was him without looking out the window to see. I liked this idea both the reality and the thought behind it.

We have ideas which knock on the doors of our heads. Some of these thoughts, especially the ones filled with doubt, confusion, anger, can take us to places we don’t want to go. Wisdom teachers call this; “monkey mind” a mind filled with chatter like monkeys in a tree, never-ceasing or giving a moment’s peace. It can also be called; “thought train” which is a mind that’s on a particular set of tracks taking us to places it’s not always wise to go.

The good news is we are able to train our minds to recognize “monkey minds, thought trains” and refuse to let them take over our spirits and emotions. The key to mindful living is to be present, in the now. Our minds are not all-powerful and we do have the capability of saying; “No” to negative, repetitive, thoughts and “Yes” to those which keep us centered, balanced and at peace. We simply need to know when and when not to open the door.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Contemplative Quotes

1 Comment

Tags: #all-powerful, #anger, #balanced, #behind, #blessings, #capability, #centered, #chatter, #confusion, #door, #doubt, #emotions, #especially, #face, #felt, #filled, #friend, #frontdoor, #giving, #good, #goodnews, #headache, #heads, #helped, #idea, #ideas, #keep, #key, #knocking, #know, #living, #looking, #mindful, #minds, #momentspeace, #monkeymind, #monkeys, #morning, #need, #never-ceasing, #no, #now, #open, #painful, #particular, #present, #recognize, #refuse, #repetitive, #saying, #secret, #secretknock, #simply, #spirits, #takeover, #teachers, #thewannabesaint.com, #tracks, #train, #trainmind, #wisdom, #wise, #woke, #yes, @BrianLoging, Home, Mind, Negative, News, Peace, Thought, Thoughts, Tree

Smoldering

Mar 5

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Smoldering –

On Saturday afternoon I burned a pile of branches, old newspapers, and other miscellaneous items. The smell of the ashes and leftover debris lingered in the air the next day. I had forgotten to grab an old wooden rocking chair out of the reading room which also needed to be disposed of. When I noticed it Sunday afternoon I wondered if the smoldering ash would still be hot enough to do anything. I took the chair out, broke it into several pieces and put some under the coals, which were still a faint orange, and put the rest in a pile on top. I checked it after a while and noticed the smoke had increased. About an hour later the wood was ablaze with a good flame. It didn’t take long to consume it once the fire restarted. Not too long afterward the chair was gone.

I wrote last week about the struggles I have when February rolls around. Many years have passed but the layers of hurt, anger, and uncertainty still lay buried, ready to ignite when fuel is added. What I try to do, instead of dwelling on the past, is not feed the flames. When I am aware and notice my mind drifting back to the place of pain I find a place to breathe. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. I remind myself of the truth that I cannot change the past but I can be present in the now. Does it always work? No. Does it work? Yes. Maybe one day I will be healed, maybe not, but I don’t want to give up on living today because of the difficulties of yesterday.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

Leave a comment

Tags: #ablaze, #added, #air, #always, #anger, #ash, #ashes, #aware, #back, #blessings, #breaths, #broke, #buried, #burned, #cannot, #change, #checked, #close, #coals, #consume, #debris, #deep, #difficulties, #disposed, #drifting, #dwelling, #eyes, #faint, #February, #feed, #find, #flame, #flames, #forgotten, #fuel, #giveup, #healed, #hot, #hurt, #ignite, #increased, #instead, #items, #layers, #leftover, #lingered, #living, #maybe, #miscellaneous, #Myself, #needed, #notice, #noticed, #now, #pain, #passed, #past, #pieces, #pile, #place, #present, #ready, #remind, #rest, #restarted, #smell, #smoldering, #struggles, #thewannabesaint.com, #time, #today, #truth, #uncertainty, #Under, #wondered, #work, @BrianLoging, breathe, Mind

Scattered

Mar 3

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for trash yard

Scattered –

Last night I stuck a bag of trash on the porch. Living in the country and not placing garbage in a receptacle is like playing Russian Roulette. Sometimes a varmint gets into it and other times they just pass it by. Unfortunately, last night something got into the trash and scattered it all over the driveway. It was the first thing I saw when letting the dog out this morning. I went inside, grabbed a new bag and began recollecting the trash. There’s nothing quite like picking up frost-covered garbage at dawn.

As I was gathering it and stuffing it into the bag I began to recall a Jewish wisdom tale;

A woman repeated a story (gossip) about a neighbor. Within a few days, everyone in the community knew the story. The person she talked about heard what had been said about her and she was very sad. Later, the woman who had spread the story learned that it was not true. She was very sorry and went to a wise rabbi and asked what she could do to repair the damage. After giving this some thought, the rabbi said to her, “Go home, get one of your feather pillows, and bring it back to me.” Surprised by the rabbi’s response, the woman followed his advice and went home to get a feather pillow and brought it to the rabbi. “Now,” said the rabbi, “open the pillow and pull out all the feathers.” Confused, the woman did what she was told to do. After a few minutes, the rabbi said, “Now, I want you to find every one of the feathers and put them back into the pillow.” “That’s impossible,” said the woman, almost in tears. “The window is open and the wind has scattered them all over the room and blown many feathers outside. I can’t possibly find them all.” “Yes,” said the rabbi. “And that is what happens when you gossip or tell a story about someone else. Once you talk about someone, the words fly from one person’s mouth to another, just like these feathers flew in the wind. Once you say them, you can never take them back.”

It was a great reminder that not only every word but every action has consequences that we cannot foresee. Our lives should be lived mindfully aware that our scattered thoughts, words, and actions will impact the world for evil or for good.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Wisdom, Wisdom Quotes

Leave a comment

Tags: #action, #actions, #asked, #aware, #blessings, #confused, #consequence, #damage, #every, #evil, #feather, #find, #firstthing, #fly, #followed, #foresee, #gathering, #giving, #good, #gossip, #grabbed, #happens, #heard, #impact, #impossible, #inside, #Jewish, #lastnight, #learned, #lived, #lives, #living, #mindfully, #mouth, #neighbor, #never, #night, #nothing, #open, #pass, #person, #pickingup, #pillows, #possibly, #pullout, #rabbi, #recall, #recollecting, #reminder, #repair, #repeated, #response, #RussainRoulette, #sad, #scattered, #sorry, #spread, #story, #stuffing, #surprised, #tale, #talked, #tears, #thewannabesaint.com, #trash, #true, #unfortunately, #varmint, #wind, #window, #wisdom, #wise, #word, #words, @BrianLoging, advice, Community, Thought, Thoughts, World

Sound of Silence

Mar 1

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for rain tin roof

Sound of Silence –

For the last few days, the sounds of rain has been bouncing off the tin roof which covers our porch. I love the sound but hour after hour, day after day, and you’re ready for a break. Finally, today around noon, the rain stopped. I sat in my living room and listened to the limbs shed their build-up of water and after a while, there was only silence. I wonder if this was how Noah felt being the Ark, listening to the pounding of the rain and the waves and when it stopped did he pause and enjoy the sound of nothing falling on his big boat?

There’s been flooding in our area, yards are swamped, the drainage ditches are overflowing. Even though rain is a wonderful act of creation you can only handle so much of a good thing. Reflecting on the silence I also thought about what we desire in our lives. Most of us do not desire the “bad” with the “good”. In our imaginations, if we had all the power, we wouldn’t face the difficulties, the challenges, the mountains we climb on our journey from the cradle to the grave. Everything would be smooth with no setbacks or failures. If life was this way would we get sick of the “good”? Would we grow? What kind of person would we be?

There’s no way to honestly answer these questions but I do wonder if life would be worth living if we got all the things we think make life worth living for.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

Leave a comment

Tags: #act, #answer, #area, #Ark, #bad, #big, #blessings, #bouncing, #break, #build-up, #challenges, #climb, #covers, #cradle, #creation, #day, #desire, #difficulties, #ditches, #drainage, #enjoy, #face, #failures, #falling, #felt, #flooding, #good, #goodthing, #grave, #grow, #handle, #honestly, #hour, #imaginations, #journey, #listened, #listening, #lives, #living, #mountains, #overflowing, #pause, #person, #pounding, #power, #questions, #rain, #ready, #reflecting, #setbacks, #shed, #sick, #smooth, #sound, #soundofnothing, #sounds, #stopped, #swamped, #thewannabesaint.com, #things, #think, #tinroof, #water, #waves, #while, #wonder, #wonderful, #worth, @BrianLoging, Boat, Noah, Silence, Thought

Protection

Feb 27

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for rabbits bunnies

Protection –

We have a family of rabbits living underneath our shed. Every now and then, when we go outside, we spot one of them. They aren’t too afraid of us because we do our best not disturb the big or little ones. Trooper, our Siberian Husky, on the other hand, is on the lookout for a new play buddy. The problem is his “toys” are deceased after he plays with them. So, we have become the rabbit’s protectors. We do our best to make sure they aren’t in the area Trooper likes to frequent outside, know there is danger nearby making noise and giving them reasons to run and hide for a while. Though we try we know that Trooper or another predator could make quick work of the rabbit family. Snakes, cats, coyotes, raccoons, other varmints are dangers which could strike any day at any time.

There are many things we desire to protect in life. Some are possessions but for most of us, we long to protect the ones we love. However, as grow older, and hopefully wiser, the more we realize we cannot protect them from everything. Truthfully we cannot protect them from much that life throws their way. We can be there for them we can help them through the difficulties they are going through. This is a form of protection, one which reminds them they are never alone.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

Leave a comment

Tags: ##protect, #afraid, #after, #alone, #area, #best, #blessings, #danger, #dangers, #deceased, #desire, #difficulties, #disturb, #form, #frequent, #giving, #grow, #help, #hide, #hopefully, #life, #living, #lookout, #nearby, #never, #older, #outside, #possessions, #predator, #problem, #protection, #protectors, #quick, #realize, #reasons, #reminds, #run, #strike, #thewannabesaint.com, #throws, #Truthfully, #way, #wiser, #work, @BrianLoging, Family, love, Noise

Single Moment

Feb 23

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Single Moment –

One of my favorite wisdom quotes is; “All we ever have is this present moment but if we do it right, it’s all we need.” Moments in time are what life is made up of. If we mindfully put enough of them together there’s a life worth living.

About an hour ago I needed to drive into town and pick up some medicine for my wife who has a nasty flu bug that’s been making the rounds. On the way home I was stopped at a traffic light where two lanes merge into one after the light turns green. There was an elderly woman behind me who must’ve just come from the beauty shop. She stopped before she needed to and was blocking traffic from both lanes. I looked in my mirror and watched her as she admired her hairdo. She played with it, flicked it with her fingertips. She was enjoying her hair and herself. Behind her was another driver who wasn’t enjoying the display. She wanted to get into the other lane but couldn’t because the beauty queen was lost in her own world.

Here’s my question; “Which one was living in the moment and which wasn’t?” Part of being mindful is the awareness of the creation around you but it’s also enjoying the little things which can make a big difference. Was I being mindful as I watched the two people in my mirror? Did I miss something because I was “rubbernecking?”

Each moment is special, unique, never to be repeated. Finding the center, the stillness, the focus of not focusing takes the journey of a lifetime. I’m still learning but aware enough to know there are things I need to know.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

2 Comments

Tags: #admired, #aware, #awareness, #beautyqueen, #before, #being, #big, #bigdifference, #blessings, #blocking, #bug, #center, #creation, #difference, #display, #elderly, #enjoying, #enough, #favorite, #finding, #flu, #focus, #focusing, #herself, #journey, #know, #learning, #life, #lifetime, #light, #little, #littlethings, #living, #lost, #making, #merge, #mindful, #mindfully, #mirror, #miss, #need, #needed, #nevertoberepeated, #own, #part, #present, #presentmoment, #question, #rubber-necking, #rubbernecking, #Single, #singlemoment, #special, #still, #stopped, #things, #time, #together, #traffic, #unique, #way, #wisdom, #woman, #worth, Home, moment, quotes, Stillness, World

Slowing Down

Feb 17

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for mindful quote of the day

Slowing Down –

The last few days have been slooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. We’ve had overcast skies, plenty of rain and this makes for a dreary season and spirit. April showers may bring May flowers but February showers bring time to a standstill. The last few months have been long. I always have a difficult time between Thanksgiving and Easter. It’s dark when you arise and when you arrive home in the evening. The darkness that surrounds me seems to permeate my emotions. As someone with Chronic Severe Depression and a Severe Anxiety Disorder the days slowing to a crawl, mess with my balance and threaten to send me over the edge into negative thought patterns and fixations on disappointments and failures.

The balance, of course, is not letting the anxiety get in there and make my brain whirl like a drugged up hamster on a greased up wheel. Again, it is balance. I make sure the things which help me; meds, exercise, talking to others about how I’m feeling, are done and not discarded even when tempted to do so.

The balance to keep life’s rhythm manageable is an everyday if not every moment discipline. If we let it we would be either swept away in a chaotic whirlwind of activity or mired in a despondent state of surrender. Slowing down isn’t the goal but balance and mindful living are what keeps us sane and steady on the path.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in #anxiety, #depression, Mental Health

Leave a comment

Tags: ##brain, #activity, #anxiety, #appointments, #arise, #arrive, #away, #balance, #blessings, #chaotic, #chronic, #crawl, #dark, #darkness, #days, #Depression #Severe, #despondent, #difficult, #disappointments, #discarded, #discipline, #disorder, #down, #dreary, #drugged, #Easter, #edge, #emotions, #exercise, #failures, #February, #feeling, #fixations, #flowers, #focus, #greased, #hamster, #help, #last, #lifes, #living, #long, #manageable, #May, #meds, #mess, #mindful, #mired, #months, #overcast, #path, #patterns, #permeate, #plenty, #rain, #rhythm, #sane, #season, #severe, #showers, #skies, #Slowing, #Slowingdown, #spirit. #April, #standstill, #state, #steady, #surrender, #surrounds, #swept, #talking, #tempted, #thanksgiving, #threaten, #time, #wheel, #whirl, #whirlwind, Home, moment, Negative, Thought

Emptiness

Feb 2

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Emptiness –

Most of us have plenty. In truth, most of us have more than we need. I was speaking with a co-worker this week and he was saying how amazed he was at how people in our organization and fellow organizations step up when there is a need in our community. I told him I agreed.

We work with a lot of folks who are having a rough time. In certain situations it’s their own poor decisions, in others, the community, the state, and the federal resources have failed them. They feel and at times are the forgotten ones. There are residences you go into and cannot believe what you see. The basics of food, clothes, electricity, heat, medicine do not seem accessible and many are at the end of their ropes.

It’s hard when you know the suffering of others to come home. There may be cracks in the walls, leaks in the ceiling, toilet paper runs out and food spoils, but your house is a palace in comparison to these you see and spend time helping. These are the ones who empty and need to be filled. Much of what you have becomes superfluous, extra, easily given away because you know you won’t miss it.

It’s hard to imagine but can you, for a moment, think of living in a world where it wasn’t; “This is mine and you can’t have any!” to a place of sharing and; “What’s mine is yours.” Only when we begin to give away what we possess do we discover we have everything we need.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

Leave a comment

Tags: #accessible, #agreed, #amazed, #away, #basics, #becomes, #begin, #believe, #blessings, #ceiling, #certain, #clothes, #co-worker, #comparison, #decisions, #discover, #easily, #electricity, #emptiness, #empty, #end, #extra, #failed, #federal, #feel, #filled, #folks, #forgotten, #give, #given, #hard, #heat, #helping, #home. #cracks, #house, #Imagine, #leaks, #living, #medicine, #mine, #miss, #need, #organization, #palace, #place, #plenty, #poor, #possess, #residences, #resources, #ropes, #rough, #sharing, #situations, #speaking, #spend, #spoils, #state, #step, #suffering, #superfluous, #think, #time, #times, #toiletpaper, #truth, #walls, #work, Community, Food, moment, World

Why did the Cow Cross the Road?

Jan 24

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for black cow road

Why did the Cow Cross the Road?

There’s nothing quite like living in an agricultural community. You never know what strange experiences each day holds. This morning, on my way to an appointment, I was driving behind a car who suddenly hit their breaks, red lights shining brightly. I quickly hit my brakes and wondered why we were stopping and then noticed a big black cow standing in the right lane. We were on the crest of a hill and couldn’t drive around it for fear of being struck head-on by another vehicle. The driver in front of me beeped her horn, inched toward the animal, even tried shewing it but the bovine paid no attention. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the cow sauntered off the road and into the brush. Shaking my head, I carefully drove past it and wondered how and why it was in this place at this time.

Life’s road is similar to my experience this morning. You never know what’s going to cross your path, stand in your way, refuse to be moved. Many times we try to force, coerce, bribe our way around obstacles but they stubbornly resist movement of any kind. Sometimes the obstacle is the path, the lesson, which needs to be learned before it moves on. Other times life makes less sense and an obstacle is simply a barrier we must figure out how to move or get around.

Whatever the obstacle, no matter how big, imposing, or frustrating we should remember this too shall pass. All things are transient and nothing lasts forever.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Contemplative, Life

1 Comment

Tags: #agricultural, #around, #barrier, #before, #big, #black, #blessings, #bovine, #breaks, #bribe, #brightly, #carefully, #coerce, #Cow, #crest, #drive, #experience, #experiences, #fear, #figure, #Finally, #force, #forever, #front, #frustrating, #getaround, #head-on, #hill, #imposing, #kind, #lasts, #learned, #lesson, #lesssense, #lifes, #living, #matter, #moved, #movement, #moves, #neverknow, #noattention, #nothing, #noticed, #obstacle, #obstacles, #path, #quickly, #redlights, #refuse, #remember, #resist, #road, #sauntered, #Shaking, #shallpass, #shewing, #shining, #stand, #standing, #stopping, #strange, #struck, #stubbornly, #time, #toward, #transient, #wondered, Community, cross, each day holds. This morning, I was #driving, on my way to an appointment

Long

Dec 31

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Long –

A question was asked today; “If you had one word to describe this year what would it be?” I knew the answer before the question was finished. The answer was/is looooooooooooooong.

My father passed away on December 1st. His battle with pancreatic cancer began near the first of the year. I went through it with him and my mom long distance, over the phone, and travelled down to South Carolina several times to see them. What they went through, the endless doctor’s appointments, the good news and bad news proclamations from well-meaning physicians, the ultimate acceptance of; “there’s nothing more we can do,” and then his sudden demise. As I said, “long year.”

Yet, paradoxically, there is a part of me that is holding on to 2017. It may have been fraught with battles and ultimately surrender but at least there was still a fight to be had. Since December 1st and the flurry of activity of the next few days prepping for his memorial service, the days have been living in slow motion. In spite of it’s pace, this was the last month I can say that I saw him, talked with him, sat in his presence, read and prayed with him. Now, in just a few hours I won’t have that attachment any longer.

It is quite difficult to let go, to walk into an unknown future, live a new normal with only 30 days of adjustments and finding our place, gaining our balance. It will be a challenge to press on into this new, strange year, but it must be done.

A soft, sorrowful; “Goodbye 2017” and a hesitant, and perhaps hopeful; “Hello” to 2018.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

2 Comments

Tags: #2017, #2018, #30days, #acceptance, #activity, #adjustments, #answer, #appointments, #asked, #attachment, #away, #bad, #balance, #battle, #battles, #began, #blessings, #cancer, #challenge, #December1st, #demise, #describe, #difficult, #doctor's, #endless, #fewhours, #fight, #finding, #finished, #first, #flurry, #fraught, #Future, #gaining, #good, #goodbye, #Hello, #hesitant, #holding, #hopeful, #least, #live, #living, #long, #longdistance, #longer, #looooooooooooooong, #Memorial, #mom, #new #normal, #newnormal, #nothing, #pancreatic, #paradoxically, #part, #passed, #physicians, #prayed, #prepping, #presence, #presson, #proclamations, #question, #quite, #read, #service, #several, #slowmotion, #soft, #sorrowful, #strange, #sudden, #surrender, #talked, #through, #times, #today, #toletgo, #ultimate, #unknown, #walk, #well-meaning, #word, #year, @BrianLoging (Twitter) thewannabesaint.com, father, News

Today

Dec 19

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Today –

I was speaking with a friend this week who is incredibly busy. So busy it seems things that need to get done will never get accomplished. As we spoke I heard the hurry in their voice. “I’ve got to do this, then that, then the next!” Simply listening made me tired. I know the feeling of having too much stuff to get done and that all the time in the world doesn’t seem enough. I also know when I feel like that, take on that burden, I am stepping out of mindfulness and stillness. I am allowing the world and its chaotic rhythm sweep me away to a place where I don’t belong.

After my friend’s list was given I told them it sounded like they needed a nap, a time of stillness and letting go of lists, chores, to-do’s and embracing a still and mellow attitude. “Things will get done,’ I told my friend, ‘do what you can and leave what you can’t. Eventually, all the important stuff will be taken care of and all the rest? Who cares.”

If we aren’t careful we can fill our lives with so much to do that nothing gets done, not even living.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

1 Comment

Tags: #accomplished, #allowing, #Attitude, #belong, #blessings, #burden, #busy, #careful, #chaotic, #chores, #dowhatyoucan, #embracing, #enough, #eventually, #feeling, #fillourlives, #friend, #friends, #getdone, #given, #heard, #hurry, #important, #incredibly, #know, #leave, #lettinggo, #list, #listening, #lists, #living, #mellow, #nap, #need, #needed, #nothing, #rest, #rhythm, #simply, #Sobusy, #sounded, #speaking, #spoke, #stepping, #still, #stuff, #sweep, #tired, #to-do's, #today, #toomuch, #voice, #Whocares, mindfulness, Stillness, World

Problems

Dec 16

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Problems –

There are three kinds of problems; those we can live with, those we can do something about and those we must separate ourselves from.

It’s the last one which gives us the most trouble. Living with something aggravating and, at least in the present moment, is unchangeable can be a challenge. Fortunately, or unfortunately, we can tolerate a lot. This approach can create more hassles if something needs to be changed and we lack the direction, motivation or passion to do something.

Taking control, bending problems to our will, throwing our shoulder into a problem is an attitude we find easy. There’s nothing like grabbing a difficulty by the throat and forcibly doing away with it, changing it to our liking. The risk here is we can make a situation worse if we are too hasty, too stubborn or not wise enough in our decision-making.

Leaving it, for most of us, takes the greatest strength. To be faced with a problem and not change it but change ourselves, how we approach it, takes courage and trust. When we put up with it we are sullen and prone to negative thoughts and spirits. When we take hold of it and wrestle with it, we feel we are in control. When we decide to let go, step back, allow the problem to exist and find contentment at the same time, we have reached a place of genuine spiritual and intellectual maturity.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

Leave a comment

Tags: #aggravating, #allow, #approach, #Attitude, #bending, #blessings, #challenge, #change, #changed, #contentment, #control, #courage, #create, #decide, #decision-making, #difficulty, #direction, #dosomething, #enough, #exist, #faced, #find, #forcibly, #Fortunately, #genuine, #grabbing, #greatest, #hassles, #hasty, #intellectual, #lack, #learn, #least, #Leaving, #letgo, #live, #livewith, #living, #maturity, #motivation, #obstacle, #ourliking, #ourselves, #passion, #place, #present, #problem, #problems, #prone, #reached, #shoulder, #situation, #spirits, #stepback, #strength, #stubborn, #sullen, #takehold, #three, #throat, #throwing, #tolerate, #trouble, #trust, #unchangeable, #unfortunately, #wear, #well, #will, #wise, #worse, #wrestle, moment, Negative, Separate, Spiritual, Thoughts

Words

Dec 4

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Words –

Today I had the privilege and duty to be a part of the memorial service for my father. It’s been surreal the last few days. So many errands to run, items to check off on a list, places to go, people to see. There’s been a sense of urgency, a nervous energy, a controlled chaos, riding a wave of sorrow and speed. Because of the hectic pace of the last several days, I stood on the stage behind the pulpit at the service this afternoon with no notes, and no structure to the stories and experiences I wanted to share.

Words, they’ve flooded my mind and soul since Dad passed. Words from family and friends who care and are sorry for our loss. Words that go into an obituary, on a card for flowers, in a service program and used in phone calls, emails, and texts. So many words used to describe the love a family has for one who is, was, the central fixed, point.

Now, standing behind the pulpit at the memorial service today, I had no notes, no words written, no solid ideas, memories swarming in my head but none coming in for a landing. How do you choose the right words to convey the meaning of a life which impacted many people? In the pantheon of phrases, how do you pick out those which will express the purpose of a life lived well?

A deep breath, a small prayer, and … share my heart, open my lips, loosen my tongue and let the words come. No, they will not be adequate. No, they will not be perfect. Yes, there will be second-guessing and memories that are forgotten to be shared.

Words. They are not, and cannot contain the heart’s cry of longing and loneliness or succinctly express the fondness, the love, the good of being apart from a person you love. This is okay. Living, being, existing, is more than words, deeper than condolences, greater than expressions of sympathy and sadness.

Living should be beyond our ability to communicate it easily if it is done well.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

1 Comment

Tags: #ability, #adequate, #apart, #behind, #being, #beyond, #blessings, #calls, #card, #care, #central, #chaos, #check, #Choose, #come, #communicate, #condolences, #contain, #controlled, #convey, #cry, #Dad, #days, #deep, #deeper, #duty, #easily, #emails, #errands, #existing, #experiences, #express, #expressions, #fixed, #flooded, #flowers, #fondness, #forgotten, #friends, #greater, #head, #heart, #hearts, #hectic, #ideas, #impacted, #items, #landing, #last, #lips, #list, #living, #longing, #loosen, #loss, #meaningofalife, #Memorial, #memorialservice, #memories, #nervous, #notes, #obituary, #open, #pace, #pantheon, #passed, #person, #phone, #phrases, #places, #point, #privilege, #program, #pulpit, #riding, #rightwords, #run, #sadness, #second-guessing, #sense, #service, #several, #share, #shared, #solid, #sorrow, #sorry, #speed, #stage, #standing, #structure, #succinctly, #surreal, #swarming, #sympathy, #texts, #today, #tongue, #urgency, #wave, #words, #Written, Family, breath, Energy, father, loneliness, love, Mind, People, Prayer, purpose, Soul, Stories

Similar

Nov 27

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for red pickup truck

Similar –

This morning, on my way to a meeting, I was driving on the main two-lane road in Columbia, Tennessee. I was about to switch lanes when I happened to look up to see a red truck all of a sudden swerve from behind me in the right to the left lane. He didn’t use a signal or proceed cautiously. He seemed in a hurry to get wherever he was going and I waited for him to pass before signaling and merging to the other lane. A few minutes later a white truck ahead of us both quickly jumped from the right lane to the left lane in front of the red truck and then turned on his signal to turn on to another road. The driver of the red truck had to slam on his brakes and I watched as he shook his head at the carelessness of the other driver. I wondered if it ever dawned on him that they had driving habits in common? Probably not. I reflected on the fact that we recognize bad driving in others but rarely notice it in ourselves. The rest of the way to my meeting I followed the driver of the red truck and pondered if I was also a bad driver but hadn’t realized it yet.

We often spot the bad in the other person. Judge harshly another’s words and actions. We jump to conclusions and condemnations about people we see for a moment and allow it to become the lens by which we determine their motivations and value. We are too quick to label people as something negative because of a lapse in judgment. Our world doesn’t have a lot of empathy. We don’t want to walk a mile in another’s shoes. It’s easier to pronounce them as bad or stupid, unqualified or evil.

“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.”
-The Master, Gospel of Saint Matthew 7:3-5

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

Leave a comment

Tags: #7:3-5, #actions, #allow, #bad, #blessings, #boomeranging, #carelessness, #common, #conclusions, #condemnations, #contempt, #critical, #criticize, #dawned, #determine, #distorted, #easier, #empathy, #evil, #fact, #failures, #faults, #followed, #gospel, #habits, #harshly, #holier-than-thou, #judge, #judgment, #jumptoconclusions, #label, #lapse, #lens, #living, #Master, #mentality, #motivations, #neighbors, #nerve, #notice, #oblivious, #often, #ourselves, #playing, #pondered, #Probably, #pronounce, #quick, #rarely, #realized, #recognize, #reflected, #road-show, #SaintMatthew, #sneer, #spirit, #spot, #stupid, #traveling, #treatment, #ugly, #unqualified, #value, #walkamile, #watched, #whole, #Wipe, #wondered, #words, moment, Negative, World

Forgive

Nov 15

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Forgive –

I found this to be an interesting quote. I’m not sure how to forgive; “everything” or if everything needs forgiveness but certainly believe that forgiveness. Genuine forgiveness is in short supply.

We live in a world where everyone seems angry over something. We fight with family, friends, strangers, internet buddies, internet trolls about banal topics that are of no consequence and about subjects with grave consequences. The problem is we can’t tell the difference and fight over everything.

To live with an attitude of forgiveness, to be a walking, breathing living example of forgiveness in a world that hates, fights, shames, shuns, is to invite hurt, pain, betrayal, and accusations of being out of touch. However, it’s also the antidote to the poison that threatens to kill all we hold dear.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

Leave a comment

Tags: #accusations, #angry, #antidote, #Attitude, #banal, #being, #believe, #betrayal, #blessings, #breathing, #buddies, #consequence, #difference, #everything, #example, #fight, #fights, #forgive, #forgiveness, #friends, #genuine, #grave, #hates, #hurt, #interesting, #internet, #invite, #kill, #live, #living, #needs, #outoftouch, #pain, #poison, #problem, #quote, #shames, #shortsupply, #shuns, #strangers, #subjects, #threatens, #topics, #trolls, #walking, Family, World

Subpoena

Oct 31

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for Subpoena

Subpoena –

Subpoena; sub·poe·na səˈpēnə/, LAW, noun, a writ ordering a person to attend a court. “a subpoena may be issued to compel their attendance.”

Unless you’ve been living under a rock or have become so sick of the news (I completely understand) you’ve no doubt heard the word; “Subpoena” innumerable times over the last several days. It is a summons to court and can be accompanied by additional requirements such as surrendering oneself for arrest. I have been subpoenaed one time in my life. I was a witness to a bad car accident and was compelled by the court to give testimony.

I’ve been reflecting on what it must be like for the people who’ve been served subpoenas and those waiting to be served. I’ve also been reflecting on what it must be like to know your memory and motives will be put under intense scrutiny and anything you say that is false or even misleading will be held against you by the court systems. It’s a scary proposition.

I once heard someone say; “Live your life as if every moment is broadcast live for the world to see.” That’s a lot of pressure but if we live in truth there is little to hide although living in truth can have its own consequences.

Every day we make the decision to live freely and openly or secretly in the shadows.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

Leave a comment

Tags: #blessings, #broadcast, #consequences, #court, #decision, #false, #freely, #hide, #intense, #life, #live, #living, #memory, #misleading, #motives, #openly, #pressure, #proposition, #reflecting, #scary, #scrutiny, #secretly, #served, #shadows, #subpoenas, #systems, #truth, #waiting, moment

Your Last Moment

Oct 28

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Your Last Moment –

Last night me, Beth and some friends gathered around a fire and roasted wieners, shared how are weeks were going and then rushed inside when it started raining. There wasn’t anything earth-shattering about the evening but that’s what made it special.

Too often, while living in the present moment, our minds are busy thinking about the moments to come or the moments that have gone by. We are rarely present mentally, emotionally, spiritually, in the present moment.

To treat each moment as if it is our last is a difficult discipline but it starts with the understanding that the present moment is truly the only one available to us. The moments which have come and gone are no longer accessible to us. We cannot relive or change them. The moments which are ahead are unpredictable and not within our power to get to until they become the present moment.

This is why the present moment is so special and powerful. It is in this moment where life and all its possibilities and wonder exist. We miss it so often but if we can embrace it, cherish it, drain each ounce of precious promise out of it our lives will be enriched beyond our wildest dreams.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Contemplative

Leave a comment

Tags: # moments, # understanding, #accessible, #available, #become, #beyond, #blessings, #busy, #change, #cherish, #difficult, #discipline, #drain, #dreams, #embrace, #emotionally, #enriched, #every, #exist, #life, #lives, #living, #longer, #mentally, #minds, #miss, #ounce, #possibilities, #power, #powerful, #precious, #present, #presentmoment, #promise, #rarely, #relive, #special, #spiritually, #thinking, #Toooften, #treat, #unpredictable, #wildest, #wonder, moment

Transition

Oct 25

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for released from prison

Transition –

Earlier this week I watched a powerful documentary on people being released from prison. It was a story of two men who were sentenced under California’s outdated and recently reformed Three Strikes Law. Simply stated the law demanded that any criminal who was arrested and found guilty three times received a harsh prison sentence often 25 years to life. After almost 20 years of being in place, the penal system and the citizens of California realized it wasn’t effective, led to overpopulation in the jails, severely impacted people of color, and left a trail of broken families in its wake.

The documentary follows two of the thousands of men who have been released for petty, non-violent crimes, after serving decades in jail. The transition for both of them was difficult, however, one was able to get back on his feet stay clean and sober, get married and be promoted in his job. The other man, who had a strong family and church structure, struggled mightily. Old demons such as drugs and mental health issues kept him unbalanced and unable to find his groove the way the first man did. At the end of the documentary both men were still out and making their way the best they could.

As I watched the film I couldn’t help but feel for both of these men. I work with men who are incarcerated and addicted. Addiction is a powerful force for evil and destruction. Incarceration can also be a doorway to a life of crime and recidivism but I’ve also seen men who learn how to make different choices so as not to end up in the same predicament.

Men who do three things greatly reduce their chance of going back to jail or getting back into their addiction. The first is having a positive home environment that might not necessarily be with their biological family. The second is a full-time job, a chance to do something and receive. The third might be most important and that is living a life around positive people, folks who will pull you up not drag you down. These three things, which most of us take for granted, will help men stay balanced, sure-footed, and on the path to a new life.

Psalm 121
1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over you will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord watches over you the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all harm, he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

Leave a comment

Tags: # newlife, #addicted, #addiction, #balanced, #biological, #chance, #choices, #destruction, #different, #doorway, #down, #drag, #evil, #folks, #force, #granted, #greatly, #help, #incarcerated, #jail, #life, #living, #mostimportant, #necessarily, #path, #positive, #powerful, #predicament, #psalm, #pslam121, #receive, #recidivism, #reduce, #sure-footed, #watched, Family, Crime, Environment, Film, Home, People

Free Zone

Oct 16

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for cell phone free zone

Free Zone –

Today, on my way to an Incarcerated Father’s class, I was passed by a truck with one of those “How’s My Driving? Call 1-800——–” sticker. There was a number identifying the truck and another sticker I hadn’t seen before which declared the truck a Cellphone Free Zone. Of course, what was the driver doing? Talking on his cellphone. I found it humorous and was tempted to honk my horn and point to his sign but resisted the urge.

I didn’t call the “How’s My Driving?” number either but I did reflect on the thought; what if we had stickers or buttons, shirts or pants, that asked; “How’s my living?” “How am I acting?” “Hate Free Zone” “Racist Free Zone” “Anger Free Zone” even the dreaded; “How’s my driving?” What would people say about us when they called the number? Good, positive reports or not so good, mostly negative?

The truth is we are being watched, all the time, everywhere. Reporting numbers or not, the world needs to see more kindness, grace, and love.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

Leave a comment

Tags: #acting, #anger, #blessings, #buttons, #dreaded, #good, #grace, #hate, #kindness, #living, #needs, #notsogood, #number, #pants, #positive, #Racist, #Reflect, #shirts, #stickers, #truth, #watched, #Zone, Free, love, Negative, World

TheWannabeSaint.com

…..a place for sojourners on this spiritual path called life

Blog Archives

Frustration

Touching Life

Knocking

Smoldering

Scattered

Sound of Silence

Protection

Single Moment

Slowing Down

Why did the Cow Cross the Road?

Long

Problems

Similar

Forgive

Subpoena

Your Last Moment

Transition

Free Zone

Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

Recent Articles

Selected Poems

explore TWS

TheWannabeSaint.com

…..a place for sojourners on this spiritual path called life

Blog Archives

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Share w/ Someone...

Like this:

Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

Recent Articles

Selected Poems

explore TWS