Blog Archives
Soul Alive
Soul Alive –
Outside, under our two sheds and front porch are families of rabbits. I see them when I let out the dog, who’s too old to chase them anymore, when I drive the truck into the driveway, when I sit still long enough and wait for them to emerge from their hiding holes. It excites me. Wildlife has always had this impact on me. I slow down to look at deer on the sides of the highway or in far-off fields. Stare at Falcons and Hawks perched on fence posts or electric poles. Turkeys, skunks, opossum, armadillos, foxes, even cows grab my attention.
I grew up in the suburbs but my parents took us to National Parks as often as the could. We loved camping, canoeing, hiking, exploring. We saw lots of wildlife and even had a few run-ins with Black Bears. I believe this is where my love of nature was born and raised along with the important lessons of treating it gently, basking in its beauty and always leaving a place better than you found it.
Nature, along with other gifts we take for granted each day, bring life to my soul. I can’t imagine not being excited, filled with joy, while experiencing it.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
Enemy Within
Enemy Within –
I had a meeting with my talk therapist yesterday. It went well. She is professional, a good listener and has a way of pointing out things I miss in life experiences. We were talking about a certain subject, one I struggle with mightily at times, and asked a question that made me think in a completely different way. She didn’t say; “Think this way.” Like a good therapist should do, she allowed me to look inside and find my way out of dark corners.
As someone with a Chronic Severe Depression disorder the battle with ruminating thoughts, anger, doubt, confusion, and fear cover my mind, emotions, and spirit like a wet blanket. Some days I can shake the blanket off of me, other days it’s like a chill in my bones and I can’t get warm. Therapy helps remind me that many of the feelings, and non-feelings, which come with depression may not be gotten rid of completely but a new thought, a burst of light, a letting go of some of the negative, can make room for hope and a willingness to continue the journey.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
Searching
Searching –
This morning my family gathered together to write my father’s obituary and order of service for his memorial. After a while, we took a break and I walked outside with my niece and spotted a huge Sycamore leaf. It was the biggest one at first we could see and then it became a competition on who could find the largest one of all. We searched a long time and when we were convinced we had discovered the most sizeable one we began looking for the smallest one. This was harder because we had to look under, beside and move other leaves to find the smallest. Finally, we believed we had the tiniest Sycamore leaf in the yard.
It was another busy day with people visiting, numerous phone calls, memorial service being organized, visiting the florist, and other errands. In the hustle and bustle of things, a family must do when one they love has passed it’s hard to find the peace one desires. The big things, the things which must get done are easy to find, it’s the small things; the glimpses of hope, the good memories, times when the good of a life well-lived shines in the darkness of a loved one parting.
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
Saint John, chapter 1
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
Fickled Thing
Last night I attended a local sheriff’s training event called; “Citizen’s Academy.” It is a ten week course that anyone in the community can sign up for to learn more about the law enforcement work being done in our community. The focus for last night’s session dealt with the county jail. I was invited because of our company’s work with the residents of the jail and the classes I teach to incarcerated fathers.
Before it was my turn to present the Chief Deputy spoke about the jail, the residents, how they cook the food, book and transport residents, the contraband they find, the amount of people they house in a given year. Following this, some of the correctional officers, their commanders and medical staff shared stories about what everyday life is like working with an incarcerated population. The stories were mostly negative, interesting and scary. Most people don’t like being locked up and can show it in some unseemly ways. I listened as they described their typical shift experiences and reflected on the different atmosphere and environment I’ve experienced in the dad classes.
Most of the men I’ve taught have been respectful and willing to learn. They’ve opened themselves up to a new way thinking, doing and being. The correctional officers see the worst and, to survive, are trained to expect difficulties and how to diffuse conflict. I on the other hand sit with guys for a couple of hours a week and mostly receive their best efforts. They don’t volunteer to go to jail but volunteer to take the class. They don’t want to be stuck in a cell all day but do want to come to a different setting whether for a new way to think or simply a new set of walls to stare at for an hour.
It’s amazing how two sets of people can look at the same place, people, circumstances and see things vastly different. Perspective is a fickled thing.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
What We’re Looking For
Yesterday evening, on my way to my incarcerated fathers’ class, a woman driving behind me decided I wasn’t going fast enough and decided to ride my bumper to make sure I knew her disapproval. My frustration was starting to grow when I glanced out the driver’s side window and noticed the beautiful sunset. In that moment my angst and anxiety disappeared. It was beautiful and I almost missed it because my focus was on what was bugging me instead of more wondrous things. I even said out loud to the woman whose concentration was still on me going faster or getting our her way; “Look to your left! See what you’re missing!”
Life is full of both grandeur and aggravations. Each fill our days and we decide which we’ll spend our lives searching for. Choose wisely for you’ll find that which you seek.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
What We Seek
Yesterday my brain went away. I’m not sure where it went but it definitely left my body for a while.
I had retrieved the keys to the riding lawn mower and was going place them with it for my friend who was taking the mower to be serviced. I then headed out the front door when I realized I should put on a jacket. Accomplished; I was about to lock the front door when it dawned on me that I didn’t have the lawn mower keys. I looked on the table by the door, retraced my steps, checked my pants and jacket pockets, searched in places I hadn’t been… Still no keys! “Keys can’t disappear!” I told myself, “they have to be here somewhere!” Again and again, over and over, I looked, searched but nothing. Exasperated I happened to glance down at my shirt and noticed the keys were in my front shirt pocket. Shaking my head and laughing at myself, I humbly and embarassingly locked the front door and went on with my day.
The whole incident reminded me of great wisdom truth; “That which we seek, we already possess, we must simply understand and receive.”
Blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com