Last week I was sitting at a table with several people. I was writing a note in a notebook and my coffee mug, full of Java juice, was sitting on the edge of the table. I moved my notebook at just the right angle and it knocked my coffee mug off the table. It should’ve been a huge mess but instead, somehow, someway, I swooped up with my right hand and caught the mug. No coffee spilled! It was awesome. I looked to see if anyone noticed and one woman was smiling widely at me. Without a word, we both knew I was fortunate to be able to grab the coffee mug in time. I smiled back at her and quipped; “Bet I couldn’t do that again!” She agreed.
There are days we catch the coffee mug and days we miss it. If I had missed the mug the coffee would have spilled on and in my satchel that I carry full of notebooks, pens, ID cards and a laptop. It would’ve been a pain to try to get all the wet, brown, sticky mess, out of the compartments and corners of the bag. The days we are able to avoid the calamities are ones to rejoice but the days we aren’t don’t have to be the start of one big messed up day. We can bounce back, accept the mess, clean up best we can and move on. For the record, the day I caught the mug, was not a good day. So, I guess it works both ways.
Putting Feet to Your Faith –
This morning, in worship service, when one of the staff members went up on stage and gave the announcements she talked about a missions class. She said; “This class will help you put feet to your faith!” To my knowledge, this is the first time I heard this phrase or at least the first time it resonated with me. I liked the idea of beliefs and action coexisting, what I think, say and do being in sync.
Later I reacted to a post from someone on Facebook who’s having a rough couple of weeks. There has been progressing in the recent past but for some reason, the last month or so battles thought won were being fought again. I replied to her post; “I understand and live these “honest and ugly” truths. It’s tough, feeling like you have to start over, but I’m reminded by wisdom and therapy that we’ve grown, have learned/are learning, experienced a new normal and the starting line has been moved. We may not be where we want to be but thankfully are not where we started.”
Even when it seems like our journey is two steps forward and three, maybe five, steps back we are making progress. We ask, no plead, for the faith to keep walking, to put feet to our faith.
My friend, role-model, and father passed away early this morning a little after midnight. His fight was over and he was ready. He sat up one last time as if to say, “It’s my time. I’m coming home.”
The house seemed empty today when we returned from all the breathless running around one does after a loved one takes their final breath. Even though he hasn’t been home in a few weeks it seemed he had just left the house. Keys, hats, computers, movies, his chair all still in their proper place. It seems this is still his house, his home. But…it’s not. Sure, there are memories and experiences. A lifetime of highs and lows to relive for the rest of our time on this shadow side of eternity but he has moved and left a forwarding address.
I sit in the quietude with his presence still lingering. I think about all of the rough days he’s had over the last 8 months, the noises of the machines which were keeping him alive. After we received the phone call we drove over to the hospice house to say our; “Goodbyes.” The room was so still. No beeping, whirring, pumping, dripping, nurses checking in. It was motionless and the silence was deafening. My mother began to fill the atmosphere with soft cries, and soft words to her best friend and lover of the last 40 years. My brother and I standing in the background, witnesses to a heart affair which is rare in this world. Finally, after a few more kisses from her on his hands and cheek, we left all thankful we’d never see that room again and that he had moved on to his permanent address.
And now, we are left to carry on. To occupy a house which isn’t home without him. To learn to adjust to a new normal we didn’t choose. To loosen our grip on this world, this place, because we know home is waiting for us on the other side.