I listened to an author today talk about the way he writes a book. His latest offering is a metaphor for his family life growing up. His father committed suicide, his brother was a genius and these, along with others, are mirrored by the characters in his novel.
The person interviewing him asked; “Why did you write such a book now? What was the motivation?” The author thought for a moment and then replied; “I guess there were some things I was yoked to and I need to get unyoked.” I don’t hear the word yoked used often. Most of the time it’s being quoted from the Second book to the Corinthians written by the Apostle Paul. This man believed there were memories, experiences, and relationships which had shaped his life for good and bad and at this time of his life he needed to bring them to the surface to examine them and understand why and how they made him into the man and author he has become.
As I reflect on what he said I hear and feel a great truth in his words. Each of us has those life events which help shape us into the people we are today. Unfortunately, along with the good, there are the bad, with the love there is abuse and other negatives to which we are yoked. Becoming unyoked is not forgetting or escaping where we come from but allowing even the worse of times to be a light shone upon dark places inside.
It is only when we come face to face with all that made us who we are can we choose a new path or learn to be thankful for the one we currently travel.
“Kenneth Brown was placed in an armchair by his son Timothy after suffering a fall during a fire in his bedroom in Victoria Way in Stafford, Cannock Coroners Court heard.
But a day later, 94-year-old Kenneth was found dead in the chair by his son, who then, instead of calling 999, left his father to decompose while continuing to live in the home.
The court was then told how a neighbour then called round on October 18, entering the hall and looking into the living room where Timothy was sat with Kenneth.
Timothy had been his father’s sole carer for more than 10 years after his mother had passed away in 2004. The pair were described as ‘recluse with hardly any visitors’.
A post mortem was unable to ascertain a cause of death because of the decomposition of the body, but it did reveal a number of fractures to Mr Brown’s ribs – which were put down to a fall out of bed during the fire by investigators.
DC Andrew Weatherley from Staffordshire Police told the court how Timothy, who was not at the hearing, had said he had woken in the night and seen smoke coming from his father’s room.
He had dragged him into the lounge and sat him in the armchair, DC Weatherley said.
However, Timothy said he woke the following day to find his father had died.
He told police he did not call 999 as he could not come to terms with it.
A statement from the neighbour said: “The back door was open, from the kitchen I could hear the TV was on loudly in the living room. Tim was in there watching TV. I spoke to Tim for a few minutes from the hall, before I opened the door fully. As I looked at the chair I wasn’t sure what I was looking at. I could see a skull, I was very shocked.”
Timothy was arrested, but after the fire service found evidence of the blaze and an investigation judged the fractures were caused by a fall, Staffordshire Police decided it was not in the public interest to prosecute him.
DC Weatherley said: “There was no obvious motive for him to cause the death of his father and it was decided he should not face criminal charges.”
Senior Assistant Coroner Mrs Margaret Jones said: “ It is a very sad case indeed. His son failed to deal with his father’s death appropriately.'” Express and Star News
Giving up things, even people we hold dear, can be incredibly difficult. Our attachment to what has meant so much to us, loved us, supported us, makes letting go seem impossible. However, wisdom teaches us that allowing all things the possibility of leaving our lives when the time is right. This is healthy and helpful and key in avoiding being stuck with what’s no longer vital to our lives.