Blog Archives
Defined By What We Overcome
A couple of weeks ago I sat in a meeting with 20 or so people. There was a presentation from an organization that’s part of the Tennessee Department of Health. There were two presenters for a lengthy and in-depth description of their services. One of the presenters had a challenge with her speaking. She stuttered. Listening to her was inspiring. She didn’t let her challenge become an obstacle. She was articulate, educated and as she continued her stutter became less noticable. She would NOT let it define her and it didn’t.
It was a great reminder that each person is walking a path and encountering challenges. We do not get to pick our struggles but we do choose whether or not they wll define us. Oftentimes the greatest among us are those who have overcome the most.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Stop and Go
Stop and Go –
Ever feel like traffic lights are purposefully hindering your travel? Yesterday I attended an event in a city about an hour and a half from our house. I left early enough to still arrive on time if there was any trouble on the way. Fortunately, there were no accidents or incidents but it seemed as if every traffic light was red or turning red when I approached. It was frustrating! It all evened out on the way back because it was mostly green lights but then I didn’t have to be somewhere at a certain time.
The stop and go of driving is draining for me. You build up some momentum only to have it taken away by watching a green light turn yellow and then red. There’s the thought of speeding up when the light is yellow or ignoring a just changed red light but that’s how accidents happen. As my truck sits there at the light, my eyes focused, waiting for it to turn green I hear the voice of wisdom in my head; “The lights aren’t doing this on purpose. You have plenty of time. There’s no need to feel rushed. Don’t give into the frustration. Breathe Brian. Breathe.” Usually, I can catch myself before I lose it and was able to yesterday although it was close! I arrived at the event with plenty of time to spare. The day was not ruined by traffic lights. All was well.
Life is similar at times. We build up momentum to change a problem, overcome a difficulty, make progress on our journey of life, only to run into roadblocks, obstacles, and setbacks. It can be easy to give up and become negative and a malcontent. We must remember to breathe, that most hard times are followed by easier, less testing times. Life is a long road. As sojourners we hope for the best, plan for the worst and find our way somewhere in between.
For more posts, reflections and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
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Might Be
Might Be –
One of the greatest senses we can develop is that of self-awareness. It’s the discipline of being able to look into an existential mirror and see who we really are, no delusion or illusion. We can see ourselves, the good and the not so good, discover what we do well and what needs to be improved.
Most live in a constant state of denial of who they are and/or who they should be. They allow others, culture, reputation, ego, the false self to define them. If we are not self-aware the world has a limitless number of fake identities to slap on us. If we aren’t careful we can settle for these alter-egos and never take off the masks too many wear for a lifetime.
Letting go of who we’ve always thought we should be isn’t easy. There is pain involved on the journey of self-discovery. However, if we dare, the challenges and difficulties can be overcome, the illusions and delusions shattered, and we become what most dare not hope for; at peace.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Searching
Searching –
This morning my family gathered together to write my father’s obituary and order of service for his memorial. After a while, we took a break and I walked outside with my niece and spotted a huge Sycamore leaf. It was the biggest one at first we could see and then it became a competition on who could find the largest one of all. We searched a long time and when we were convinced we had discovered the most sizeable one we began looking for the smallest one. This was harder because we had to look under, beside and move other leaves to find the smallest. Finally, we believed we had the tiniest Sycamore leaf in the yard.
It was another busy day with people visiting, numerous phone calls, memorial service being organized, visiting the florist, and other errands. In the hustle and bustle of things, a family must do when one they love has passed it’s hard to find the peace one desires. The big things, the things which must get done are easy to find, it’s the small things; the glimpses of hope, the good memories, times when the good of a life well-lived shines in the darkness of a loved one parting.
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
Saint John, chapter 1
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Openness
Openness –
On Wednesday night of this week, I was speaking with someone about being truthful and honest to the people in our lives. He stated that being too open can lead to betrayal and pain and therefore he doesn’t share his story for fear of being taken advantage of. It was a fair argument but I told him maybe his issue wasn’t being fearful of openness but being open to the wrong people. People we can trust, who won’t use our words and experiences against us, who will listen to understand and be a shoulder to lean on are invaluable.
Earlier in the week, I shared a fatherhood presentation to a group of fathers who have young kids in school. There were dads who were going in to work late and some who had worked all night diligently sitting there to learn more about how they could be involved in their children’s lives, especially when it comes to education. After the presentation while saying; “goodbye” to the fathers one of the attendees came up and began speaking with me. She had some questions about getting a father involved and shared her story. What she told me was hard to hear with many issues and other challenges she’s had to overcome. I couldn’t believe how open she was being when we had just met a few moments earlier. She believes I am someone she can trust with her family.
Openness, transparency, is something most say they desire in themselves and others. However, these can bring feelings of uncomfortableness, questions that aren’t easily answered, and an unsettling fear of not being skilled enough to meet the need. When these thoughts are rushing through our minds the need to breathe and be still must be remembered. Most people don’t want you to fix them they simply need someone to listen without judging. If there are problems to solve and mysteries to unravel we can do them together as we travel this path called life.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Undercover
Undercover –
I was talking with a friend this week about the different masks we wear when we go different places. There’s a work mask, family mask, friend mask, public mask, and somewhere, often buried deep is our true authentic ourselves. The problem is that we become so accustomed to wearing masks we never take one off for too long or risk showing the world who we are under all the fantasy. The conversation continued and we wondered if any of the illusions we create could eventually lead us to allow others to see the genuine person.
The conversation continued and we wondered if any of the illusions we create could eventually lead us to allow others to see the genuine person. We are so accustomed to hiding the “real” us, the person we think people won’t like, that wearing masks become our default and our defense.
The question becomes how do we break free of this habit of wearing masks? Overcome the fear of our authentic selves not being good enough? How do we begin to discover who we are when concealing our true identity has been our goal for most of our life? This is the reason we are here now, the journey we are meant to travel, the discovery, not of a lifetime, but of life.
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes
but in having new eyes.”
#MarcelProust
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Destiny
Destiny –
A few nights ago I began watching a documentary; “American Anarchist” (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt6032170/). It is “the story of one of the most infamous books ever written, “The Anarchist Cookbook,” and the role it’s played in the life of its author, William Powell, now 65, who wrote it at 19 in the midst of the counterculture upheaval of the late ’60s and early ’70s.”
An interesting, frustrating, and paradoxical character, William describes a time in the 60’s and 70’s when he is swept up in the protest movement of these two decades and writes a book that is both a declaration against an unjust society and a “how to” manual on building, bombs, guns, and other weaponry. Powell’s book has been used all over the world to commit acts of terror and revolution. However, after the turbulent time in which the book was written, Powell moved on to become a teacher of students with special needs.
In the documentary, he is surprised and saddened when confronted by his book’s place among many terrorists and criminal’s library. He’s even contacted some major book sellers and tried to stop his book from being sold. In most of the interview, he seems at a loss that this book, which took him only a few months to write still holds sway over him after almost 50 years. He wonders if he’ll ever be free.
Some poor choices we make are able to be overcome and put behind us. Other decisions, and their consequences, are ours to carry for life. Who we are, what we do; our thoughts, words, and actions have lives of their own once we choose to enact them. As always, we must choose carefully.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Together
Together –
Today I’ve been thinking about the eclipse which happened yesterday. It was awesome and am thankful I was alive to see it. However, I’ve also been thinking about the fact that we see the sun and the moon every day. All we have to do is look up at the correct time, as with the eclipse, and we can see both in much if not all of their glory. What made yesterday’s event special was the two occupying the sky at the same time. It was so spectacular we bought dorky looking glasses, closed down schools and businesses, marked the day on our calendar and watched the time closely. All so we wouldn’t miss two objects in the sky, hundred of thousands of miles away from us, come together.
The moon is about 200,000 miles from the planet we call home. This seems like a huge number until we realize the sun is almost 93 million! Yet, for a few moments yesterday, the moon, which is much smaller, blocked out the sun. The difference is compared to the sun, the moon is sitting right next to us.
Reflecting on this I begin to wonder about our proximity to each other and the troubles we are all trying to overcome. Sometimes the obstacles and dangers we face seem so big and terrible. They are daunting and overwhelming until someone does something kind for us. Then, even if for a few moments, the act of mercy and grace is what we see not the enormous challenges we are fighting to overcome.
There are people we know who are fighting for their very lives. An enemy, a disease, a crisis of a sort that we ask; “What can I do?” The answer is simple; be kind. We will be amazed at the difference a random act of kindness can make.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Carry
Carry –
One of the hardest things we do on the path of wisdom is to discover we are not all-powerful, all-knowing, all-wise. From the time we are born, we are learning. It might be good, positive lessons, not so good, or, most likely, a mixture of both. As we get older we hopefully begin to separate the good from the not so good. We learn that there are lessons we need to relearn and others we simply need to forget.
One of the most important lessons is we are not meant to carry the mountains we climb. Each of us deals with challenges, struggles, and difficulties. Some navigate incredibly tough paths because of what they endured as children, adolescents, and adults. The climb to the top of the mountain, to overcome these negatives is a great success. However, once the top is reached the question is asked; “What now?” When all you’ve known is pain and heartache it becomes a part of you. Reaching the mountain top doesn’t bring the joy and relief expected.
Unfortunately, some, instead of descending the mountain and continuing on with the journey now free of great burden pick up the mountain and carry it with them. The mountain has become a part of them and to separate from it is like breaking off a piece of themselves and leaving it behind.
Wisdom teaches us how to climb, how to descend and how to let go. It may still feel we are leaving part of ourselves behind but we trust our journey will take us to a place, a discovery of our new selves.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Heart Hunger
Heart Hunger –
This afternoon I attended a meeting where a speaker talked about babies born being addicted to drugs. The mothers of these soon to be born children were addicts of both prescribed and unprescribed drugs and when the baby emerged from the womb it too craved the narcotics.
It was heartbreaking to hear the stories of some of the moms. 85% were on welfare, didn’t have much in the way of education, lived in poverty and were receiving the help of many community and national organizations. What was even sadder was the moms knew their addictions were harming their unborn child and yet couldn’t break the cycle. The addiction had overtaken the heart of the mother and superseded their instincts to care for their soon to be born child. The hunger for being a good mom was less than the appetite for the drugs.
Our hearts, the souls, and spirits of us are powerful. They can give us the strength to overcome the greatest of challenges and reach heights unthinkable or take us to the depths of hell and nightmares unimaginable. Wisdom teaches us to choose today who we will be tomorrow. Choose carefully because our decisions mean life or suffering and death.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Restoring Balance
“Argh! She gets on my nerves so much! Why can’t she just stop being so mean? I don’t deserve the way she treats me.“… This was part of an emotionally loaded conversation I had with a friend this week. Her relationship with a co-worker could be best described as strained and she’s at her wits end.
After the waterfall of words slowed to a trickle and my friend caught her breath we talked more about what was happening and why. She began to explain that she knew there was a lot of pressure on her co-worker outside of work, family responsibilities which might be taking their toll. “That still doesn’t mean she has to take it all out on me!” We agreed on this point but I replied; “Perhaps, the more aware you are of her pain the better able you’ll be to listen with empathy and grace.”
Working, living with, being around cantankerous people can be emotionally and spiritually draining. A willingness to open our hearts to them and their struggles may be the way to helping and restoring balance for both of us.
Blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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The Journey Within
One of the most difficult parts of our journey is coming to grips with the damage inflicted upon our lives and the lives of others by our own ego. The persistent pursuit of what we want, what we desire, what we demand lays waste to even the noblest of intentions.
Self awareness can be a terrible discipline. It forces us to admit, confess, come to grips and try to tame our worst habits, fantasies and demons. Seeing who we are, what we’re capable of and the lengths we’ll go to try and re-make others and the world in our own image is frightening, humiliating and humbling. However, only when we acknowledge the monster within can it be conquered, tamed and transformed.
Blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
Essentialist and Wannabesaint 