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The Smell of a Tuna Fish Sandwich

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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The Smell of a Tuna Fish Sandwich –

My wife came home early from work on Friday. She wasn’t feeling well and had a stomach bug. I’m not a natural caretaker but was able to get her settled in the bed and bring her something to drink with saltine-crackers. She slept most of Friday and Saturday was feeling better. She still wasn’t eating much and when I asked if she would like lunch she opted for a bland bowl of cereal. I, on the other hand, fixed myself a fresh can of tuna, with mayo and pickles. When Beth fixed her cereal I noted she was on the far side of the counter. “What are you doing over there?” I asked. “The smell of your tuna is not helping my stomach!” she replied and told me it was the last thing she ate Friday before getting sick. The smell of my Tuna Fish sandwich was threatening to make her sick again.

Scientists tell us that smell is one of the greatest memory triggers. However, all our senses, particular situations, certain people, can trigger pain, shame, emotional, mental and even physical reactions in us or others. This is why it’s so important making sure we don’t judge or label others who may react differently to events and experiences. The path of their life, which intersects ours, could be fraught with challenges and difficulties we’ve never encountered. Knowing each person has a unique path helps us be aware, accepting, adaptable, and non-judgemental toward each other.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

For more posts, reflections and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com

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Posted in Mental Health

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Tags: #accepting, #adaptable, #again, #aware, #before, #blessings, #certainpeople, #challenges, #differently, #difficulties, #emotional, #encountered, #experiences, #feelingwell, #fraught, #gettingsick, #important, #intersects, #judge, #label, #memory, #mental, #non-judgmental, #nothelping, #pain, #particular, #path, #physical, #posts, #react, #reactions, #reflections, #sandwich, #scientists, #senses, #sick, #situations, #smell, #threatening, #triggers, #TunaFish, #unique, #Whatareyoudoing, #www.thewannabesaint.com, @BrianLoging, Events, shame, Writings

Cattle Crossing

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Cattle Crossing –

Today, traveling the back roads of South Central Tennessee, I saw a “Cattle Crossing” sign. It was funny at first, the thought of having a cow in the middle of the road or a group of them causing a traffic jam. The more I thought about a cow jumping, waddling, out of nowhere on the road or stepping out from a hidden place the more I slowed down. A cow would cause tremendous truck and bodily damage. I’ve seen the toll a deer can put on a vehicle. I can’t imagine what a cow would do!

Wisdom tells us that we are given insight and warning signs for a reason. It also reminds us that it is our choice whether or not to take the warning seriously. We proceed at our own risk. Too often we ignore them and suffer the consequences of wrecked lives for ourselves and those we hold dear.

Our lives are not to be lived waiting for the next disaster, challenge or difficulty to come our way. However, if we learn to look for the warning signs and trust the wisdom we have gained through experience and knowledge we can avoid a lot of pain and heartache.

For more posts, reflections and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com

Blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

Posted in Life, Wisdom

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Tags: #avoid, #blessings, #Cattle, #CattleCrossing, #challenge, #choice, #Cow, #crossing, #damage, #difficulty, #disaster, #experience, #heartache, #hiddenplace, #ignore, #Imagine, #insight, #knowledge, #ourownrisk, #outofnowhere, #pain, #posts, #proceed, #reason, #reflections, #reminds, #Seriously, #sign, #sloweddown, #suffertheconsequences, #tremendous, #trust, #waiting, #warning, #warningsigns, #wisdom, #wreckedlives, #www.thewannabesaint.com, @BrianLoging, Writings

Stepping into the Dark

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Stepping Into the Dark –

Last night I told Trooper, our Siberian Husky, it was time to go outside before going to bed. He jumped up and headed for the front door. I opened it and then walked to our screen door on the porch to open it. As I was stepping a sudden pain pierced the bottom of the middle of my left foot. At first, I thought it was a rock but the pain increased and I knew something had stung me. I waited for Trooper to come inside and when we got in I told Beth; “I think something bit me!” We looked at the bottom of my foot and sure enough, there was a big, red, raised welt forming. I put some Benadryl cream on the sting and took a couple of pink Benadryl pills and went to bed. My foot and leg were itching and the pain in my foot hadn’t gone away. After a while, I went to sleep and when I woke up this morning to let the dog out there was enough light to see on the porch was a dying bumblebee. I write; “dying” because when I moved it out of the way the stinger was still twitching. Maybe tonight I’ll put on a pair of flip-flops before adventuring out into the dark.

Life is full of surprises. You live it, doing the same things, finding your rhythm, your groove. Everything seems okay until it’s not. All of a sudden there’s shock, pain, uncertainty, life changes and there’s nothing we can do to stop it from happening. However, we can learn, accept, adapt. We can gain wisdom and the ability to be content with the truth that life isn’t predictable. As much as we would like to think we have everything planned, scheduled, organized, we can’t know what’s around the next corner. We are, as always, stepping into the dark.

For more reflections, posts, poems, and writings, please visit:
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

Posted in Life

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Tags: #ability, #accept, #adapt, #adventuring, #Allofasudden, #blessings, #content, #dark, #enoughlighttosee, #findingyourrhythm, #gain, #groove, #happening, #increased, #intothedark, #learn, #lifechanges, #Lifeisfullofsurprises, #nextcorner, #organized, #pain, #pierced, #planned, #poems, #posts, #predictable, #reflections, #scheduled, #shock, #stepping, #stop, #suddenpain, #truth, #uncertainty, #waited, #wisdom, #www.thewannabesaint.com, @BrianLoging, Writings

Double Back

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Double Back –

Last night, after dinner, Beth wanted a popsicle. I was getting up anyway and told her I’d get her one. I opened the top freezer door on the refrigerator and grabbed two by mistake. One fell to the floor and using the three-second rule I quickly stooped down and picked it up. Unbeknownst to me, the freezer door was swinging back and when I was two-thirds up I whacked the top back of my head on the corner of the freezer door. “OUCH!” It hurt so much I crumpled to the floor rubbing the wounded area. Beth heard me, came and looked at it and thought there would be bruising and soreness. She was right. It never occurred to me until it “hit me” that the door was doubling back. My mind was elsewhere and the freezer door brought me back to reality.

I was listening to someone describe addiction this week and they said; “It gets inside of you. You think you have a handle on it and then you begin to crave it. It comes back again and again and again.” I thought about other things which come around over and over. Grieving the loss of a loved one who has passed on, anger at being taken advantage of, bitterness at being betrayed, the pain of past memories and experiences that hurt us emotionally and physically, drug, alcohol and other addictions, friends who have negative influences on us, wounds which seem to never heal. All of these can cause us to crumple to the floor when they double back into our lives.

There is a needed balance of awareness and acceptance. Awareness is needed because perhaps we can see it coming and side-step the toll it would take on our minds and spirits. Acceptance is important because we are human, are not all-powerful, and difficult and challenging experiences are part of what makes us unique.

It is in this balance we may find wisdom and peace.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: #acceptance, #addiction, #Addictions, #againandagain, #alcohol, #anger, #area, #aware, #awareness, #balance, #betrayed, #bitterness, #blessings, #bruise, #challenging, #comearound, #comesback, #control, #crumpled, #describe, #difficult, #DoubleBack, #doublingback, #drug, #emotionally, #experiences, #friends, #grieving, #handleonit, #happens, #human, #hurt, #impact, #important, #influences, #insideofyou, #listening, #loss, #lovedone, #minds, #mistake, #neededbalance, #neverheal, #occurred, #ouch, #overandover, #pain, #pastmemories, #perhaps, #physically, #reality, #seeitcoming, #side-step, #soreness, #spirits, #surroundings, #swingingback, #takenadvantage, #thewannabesaint.com, #toll, #unique, #whacked, #wisdom, #wounded, #wounds, @BrianLoging, Negative, Peace

Into the Fire

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Into the Fire –

I heard a story yesterday about a Roman soldier who fell in love with a young, Christian, woman at the height of Rome’s imperial glory. He wanted to marry her but she would not allow him to court her because he wasn’t a follower of Christ. Desperate, the young man began to follow her and eventually discovered where she met other Christians in a secret place outside of Rome. He stayed in the shadows, watched and listened as they sat around a small fire and shared their stories of being followers of Jesus. As he stood there his heart was awakened and a voice echoed inside of him; “You will never know the truth until you step into the light of the fire and have all that is not burned to ash.” This was a great challenge indeed for most Romans believed in many gods, not just one, and followers of Christ were persecuted, and executed for their beliefs. He would have to give up everything for the chance at eternal and temporal love.

As I’ve reflected on this story the last two days I’ve wondered about the power and sacrifice of love. Love is a double-edged sword. It is wonderful and terrifying. Many horrible acts have been done in the name of love. It gives the bearer great courage but can also make one a coward. Those who have loved deeply speak of the joy and sorrow, wholeness and heartbreak, feeling of ecstasy and indescribable pain. True love requires all of us. We can’t give only a portion. We must be all in or never experience the life-changing, mind-bending, chaos that is love. It gives and takes, makes and destroys, assures us and shakes us to our core. There is nothing else that can compare.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Relationships

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Tags: #allofus, #ash, #assures, #awakened, #beallin, #bearer, #blessings, #burned, #challenge, #chance, #chaos, #courage, #court, #coward, #desperate, #discovered, #double-edgedsword, #echoed, #ecstasy, #eternal, #executed, #fellinlove, #fire, #followerofChrist, #givesandtakes, #giveupeverything, #heart, #heartbreak, #horribleacts, #indescribable, #inside, #IntotheFire, #joy, #life-changing, #listened, #loveddeeply, #makesanddestroys, #marry, #mind-bending, #nameoflove, #neverexperience, #pain, #persecuted, #power, #reflected, #requires, #sacrifice, #shakes, #soldier, #sorrow, #stayedintheshadows, #stepintothelight, #story, #temporal, #terrifying, #thewannabesaint.com, #toourcore, #truelove, #truth, #watched, #wholeness, #wondered, #wonderful, @BrianLoging, love, Roman

What We Leave Behind

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

What We Leave Behind –

YouTube can be infuriating with the number of commercials and advertisements it has between videos. Every now and then though there will be one that gets its hooks into your brain. This song played several times today while I was mowing the grass and when I finished I came in and looked it up (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0czMhagZgwY). It’s a simple video of a man going to the beach and jumping off a high cliff into the ocean below. He then crosses it off a list of things he wants to do.

There is a note at the beginning of the song. It’s hard to read but it says:

Dear Friends, My name is Fred Rister. For those who don’t know me, I have had cancer 9 times in 30 years. The one I am fighting this time around will be the last since I know for sure; my days are numbered. I have decided to release a song called, “I Want a Miracle” in which all proceeds will go to the Kidney Cancer Association, with whom my physician, Dr. Escudier, from the Gustave Roussy Institute is affiliated. This project is very important to me because it is a bit of hope for all those fighting cancer. Whether you donate directly or download/stream the song your support is immensely appreciated.
This is: “I Want a Miracle” “Music is therapy” #FredRister

The note made me pause and feel his pain, heartache, kindness and giving spirit. He’s dying of cancer. It is the ninth time he’s faced this dreaded disease in thirty years. He knows his days are numbered and instead of blaming, sulking, being too frightened to do anything he wrote a song to be shared and a hope to be kindled.

In this world where everything seems terrible someone using their last days to touch and help others is a wanted and needed gesture that we all could follow. Whether we know it or not our days are limited. What we do with every moment can have an impact on those who follow. Our lives should be spent making each moment count instead of counting down our moments until the end.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannebsaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: ##brain, #beginning, #beingfrightened, #bitofhope, #blaming, #blessings, #cancer, #counting, #daysarenumbered, #DearFriends, #donate, #dreadeddisease, #dying, #feel, #fighting, #fightingcancer, #finished, #follow, #FredRister, #gesture, #givingspirit, #heartache, #help, #hooks, #hopetobekindled, #immenselyappreciated, #impact, #important, #IWantaMiracle, #KidneyCancerAssociation, #kindness, #makingeachmomentcount, #Musicistherapy, #needed, #note, #ourdaysarelimited. #everymoment, #pain, #proceeds, #project, #reads, #releaseasong, #shared, #simplevideo, #sulking, #support, #terrible, #thewannebsaint.com, #touch, #wanted, #WhatWeLeaveBehind, #years, @BrianLoging, Videos

Taking Up Space

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Taking Up Space –

I have a friend who has a boss who is a pain! At least that’s how they describe him. He’s often in the staff’s way, interrupting staff’s conversations with co-workers and clients, calling last-minute meetings, forcing staff to take late, early, shortened lunches and breaks. My friend is a good employee and enjoys their job and interaction with the customers but this boss makes the job unbearable at times. I told my friend that this guy doesn’t seem easy to work for but also noticed he was creeping into other conversations and being complained about excessively. “Be careful,’ I said, ‘not to let this guy take up space in your head.”

It’s easy to let other people, things, difficulties, hardships rent a place in our noggin. These are issues we must deal with, live with and are forced to confront. However, if we aren’t careful, aware, they can begin to invade the other parts of our lives. We ruminate, stew, in our negative thoughts and this takes energy and a toll on us physically, emotionally and spiritually. Learning how to deal with problems, finding solutions that help us keep them from encroaching in unwanted areas, takes wisdom, practice and awareness.

“Keep the doors to your mind open. Let problems come and go. Do not serve them tea.”
-author unknown

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mental Health

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Tags: ##servethemtea, #aware, #awareness, #Becareful, #begin, #blessings, #boss, #comeandgo, #complained, #confront, #conversations, #creeping, #dealwith, #describe, #difficulties, #easy, #easytowork, #emotionally, #employee, #encroaching, #enjoys, #excessively, #findingsolutions, #forced, #forcing, #good, #hardships, #head, #helpuskeep, #interaction, #interrupting, #invade, #issues, #last-minute, #learning, #livewith, #meetings, #mindopen, #negativethoughts, #noggin, #noticed, #otherparts, #pain, #physically, #practice, #problems, #rentaplace, #ruminate, #spiritually, #stew, #takeupspace, #TakingUpSpace, #thewannabesaint.com, #things, #toll, #unbearable, #unwanted, #wisdom, @BrianLoging, Energy, People

Popped in the Mouth

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Popped in the Mouth –

The other day I heard a discussion between two women about a mom “popping” her adolescent child in the mouth. I cringed as the two women agreed sometimes it has to be done when a kid won’t stop talking back. This week #RoaseanneBarr was “popped” for using words which degrade and dehumanize others. I once had an adult tell me they were “popped” in the mouth by a parent when they were in college for not respecting her parents. I think all of us at one point or another have been “popped” because of something coming out of mouths that weren’t needed, necessary or helpful.

The swift punishment “popping” implies is that the words were barely out of the mouth before being punished. I’ve reflected on the words which have come out of my mouth over the years and if I was punished for every wrong phrase or wording, egotistical and asinine thing I’ve let loose I’d be hurting a long time and most of the pain would be deserved.

Words matter! A famous wisdom quote reads; “Do not speak unless it improves upon silence.” Perhaps if we were slower to speak the world would have less pain and more love.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Wisdom, Wisdom Quotes

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Tags: ##RoaseanneBarr, #adolescent, #agreed, #asinine, #barelyout, #blessings, #child, #cringed, #degrade, #dehumanize, #deserved, #discussion, #Donotspeak, #egotistical, #famous, #heard, #helpful, #hurting, #improves, #lesspain, #loose, #morelove, #mouth, #mouths, #necessary, #needed, #onepoint, #pain, #PoppedintheMouth, #punished, #punishment, #quote, #reflected, #respecting, #Roseanne, #slowertospeak, #thewannabesaint.com, #wisdom, #wording, #words, #Wordsmatter, #wrongphrase, @BrianLoging, Popping, Silence

In Memory of

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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In Memory of –

This is a strange holiday for me. It’s not strange in the sense that I don’t understand it or think it necessary but strange because I did not serve in the armed services nor lost a loved one while in military service. I don’t know what it’s like to charge up a hill with my unit, share foxholes with people who I depend on for my life, find the courage to carry out orders that put my life and others in danger and know not everyone is coming back from the mission. I don’t know what it is to get a knock on my door, a phone call, by servicemen or women to inform me a loved is not returning home. I can’t imagine the pain, heartache, loss, or pride that comes with Memorial Day.

I once served on a staff with a war veteran and we liked to talk politics, history, and war. He had seen action in the military while I sat in the safety of a university classroom. We’d have conversations about the justifications of war. I’d voice my opinion that Christians should follow Jesus’ example and be pacifists, opposed to all violence and then he’d tell me when and why I was wrong. I didn’t agree with everything he said about the military, nation-building, and protection but I was also humbled and silent as he spoke. I understood that he had served, put his life on the line for us to disagree and still be friends, still call ourselves by the same name; Americans.

“The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”
#AbrahamLincoln #GettysburgAdress

Blessings & Thank you,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #AbrahamLincoln #GettysburgAdress, #add, #advanced, #agree, #alive, #Americans, #armedforces, #beforeus, #brave, #chargeup, #consecrated, #conversations, #courage, #danger, #day, #dedicated, #depend, #detract, #devotion, #diedinvain, #disagree, #example, #fought, #foxholes, #freedom, #fullmeasure, #government, #greattask, #heartache, #highlyresolve, #honoreddead, #humbled, #Icantimagine, #increased, #inform, #InMemoryof, #justifications, #knock, #last, #lifeontheline, #living, #loss, #lostalovedone, #lovedone, #Memorial, #MemorialDay, #militaryaction, #mission, #nation, #nation-building, #necessary, #neverforget, #newbirth, #nobly, #noteveryoneiscomingback, #opposed, #ourselves, #pacifists, #pain, #poor, #power, #pride, #protection, #remaining, #returning, #safety, #served, #servicemen, #shallnotperish, #silent, #spoke, #staff, #stillbefriends, #struggled, #underGod, #understand, #understood, #unfinishedwork, #unit, #University, #violence, #voice, #War, #warveteran, #wrong, History, Holiday, Jesus, Opinion, Politics, World

Cling

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Cling –

I spent the day helping a friend go through the belongings of a dear loved one who has passed. It’s tough going. One might think it’s the expensive toys, gadgets, and gizmos which you’d want to hold on to but instead, it’s the little things; sheets of paper, old license plates, CDs, notepads. Items which wouldn’t sell at a yard sale or purchased at Goodwill are of immense value, a treasure to the ones who remain.

Death is often an open wound. Scabs may form, some healing might occur, but grasping at past memories and experiences, strains and pulls apart the wound and the pain, heartbreak of loss returns. Its hard letting go. It’s difficult to say; “goodbye.” but death demands we do it again and again in many ways, on many occasions and you wonder if it will ever be the last time.

Moving on requires that one live open-handed, no clinging to earthly, temporal things, allowing the shared life of the one who is gone to be enough.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

Tags: ##lasttime, #allowing, #blessings, #cling, #clinging, #dearlovedone, #death, #demands, #difficult, #earthly, #expensive, #experiences, #form, #friend, #gizmos, #going, #gone, #goodbye, #gothrough, #grasping, #hard, #healing, #helping, #holdon, #immense, #instead, #items, #leftbehind, #lettinggo, #life, #littlethings, #live, #loss, #manyoccasions, #manyways, #memories, #moving, #occur, #open-handed, #openwound, #pain, #passed, #pastmemories, #pullsapart, #remain, #requires, #scabs, #strains, #temporal, #thewannabesaint.com, #think, #tough, #toys, #treasure, #value, #wonder, #wound, @BrianLoging, belongings

Good Catch!

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Good Catch!

Last week I was sitting at a table with several people. I was writing a note in a notebook and my coffee mug, full of Java juice, was sitting on the edge of the table. I moved my notebook at just the right angle and it knocked my coffee mug off the table. It should’ve been a huge mess but instead, somehow, someway, I swooped up with my right hand and caught the mug. No coffee spilled! It was awesome. I looked to see if anyone noticed and one woman was smiling widely at me. Without a word, we both knew I was fortunate to be able to grab the coffee mug in time. I smiled back at her and quipped; “Bet I couldn’t do that again!” She agreed.

There are days we catch the coffee mug and days we miss it. If I had missed the mug the coffee would have spilled on and in my satchel that I carry full of notebooks, pens, ID cards and a laptop. It would’ve been a pain to try to get all the wet, brown, sticky mess, out of the compartments and corners of the bag. The days we are able to avoid the calamities are ones to rejoice but the days we aren’t don’t have to be the start of one big messed up day. We can bounce back, accept the mess, clean up best we can and move on. For the record, the day I caught the mug, was not a good day. So, I guess it works both ways.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

Tags: #accept, #avoid, #best, #Bet, #big, #blessings, #bothways, #bounceback, #brown, #calamities, #caught, #cleanup, #coffeemug, #coffeespilled, #days, #edge, #Fortherecord, #fortunate, #full, #GoodCatch, #goodday, #hugemess, #Javajuice, #knocked, #mess, #messed, #miss, #missed, #moved, #moveon, #mug, #noticed, #pain, #rejoice, #rightangle, #smiling, #spilled, #start, #sticky, #swooped, #thewannabesaint.com, #wet, @BrianLoging

Surfing or Drowning

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Surfing or Drowning –

I just finished reading an article from seven years ago today about a father and son who were killed by a drunk driver. The mom shared it on social media and the heartache is still present and the wound raw. I can’t imagine the pain. I knew the father a little. He was in our church’s youth group. He was a few years older than me but always seemed cool. He was an athlete. He ran, biked, swam, and surfed. The morning dad and son were killed they were training for a triathlon. The father was named after his father and the son carried on the tradition. He was the III.

How do you have hope in the midst of such loss? How do you not drown in sorrow? How do you not get lost in such darkness? I don’t think there’s an easy answer. Quips and quotes don’t begin to address the brokenness and reveal our lack of intimacy with death. We do everything we can to avoid it. Most of us try to prolong our lives by any means necessary. When death finally does come we are quick to make the arrangements, organize a memorial or funeral service and push past it as fast as possible. But even then, death finds a way to corner us, trap us, confront us. After the hustle and bustle of meals, flowers, sympathy cards, and services we find ourselves alone when death, misery, mourning, comes calling.

Experts tell us that when we are caught in a riptide to not fight the current or it will surely drown its victim. Let it grab you and then slowly, moving parallel to the shore, slip from its grip. I think this is how we deal with the loss of those we love. There’s no escaping and fighting and refusing to acknowledge its power end in certain defeat. To allow it take hold, scare us, shake our faith, sweep our “normal” life away, but not giving up is the key. Slowly our strength returns, we regain our bearings, we slip from its grip, rise above the waters and live.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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A Picture is Worth…

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A Picture is Worth…

A picture is worth a thousand words unless you are the kids who survived the Stoneman Douglas High School mass shooting in Florida, several weeks ago. This past weekend there were gatherings in cities around the world. It was called; “The March for Our Lives.” Since this protest event, David Hogg and Emma Gonzalez have become targets, again. There are news articles, memes, pictures and opinion pieces written that would make adults question their sanity, worth and the innate goodness of humanity.

My heart is broken and my spirit crushed as I listen, read and watch adults attack these children with vitriol. They are being bullied, lied about, crushed by those whose opinions differ from theirs. These young people have survived what will probably be the most traumatic event in their life. They are processing their grief, the loss of their friends and their innocence. They are trying to take a stand, find their footing after an event and in a debate bigger than them. They are exercising control by speaking out, marching, becoming an advocate against an act of violence that ripped their lives apart. Yet, while they attempt to put their lives back together, people online, on the radio, on television are tearing them down and apart, again.

Are these kids being used by persons and corporations with agendas? Maybe. Perhaps they are also smart and resilient enough to know what they want and believe. Have they said and done everything perfectly? Of course not. Who has? You don’t have to agree with them to see they are still in pain. You don’t have to march with them to stand by their side. You can disagree without abuse. We should be better than that. These kids deserve better.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Leadership

Tags: #abuse, #act, #adults, #Advocate, #agendas, #agree, #apart, #attack, #attempt, #back, #becoming, #believe, #better, #bigger, #blessings, #broken, #bullied, #bullying, #children, #cities, #control, #corporations, #crushed, #DavidHogg, #debate, #deserve, #differ, #disagree, #EmmaGonzalez, #event, #exercising, #find, #florida, #footing, #friends, #gathering, #goodness, #grief, #grown, #heart, #HighSchool, #humanity, #innate, #innocence, #kids, #lied, #lives, #loss, #MarchforOurLives, #marching, #mass, #memes, #online, #opinions, #pain, #Parkland, #perfectly, #picture, #pictures, #pieces, #processing, #protest, #question, #radio, #read, #resilient, #ripped, #sanity, #several, #shooting, #side, #smart, #speaking, #spirit, #stand, #StonemanDouglas, #survived, #targets, #tearing, #television, #thewannabesaint.com, #thousand, #together, #traumatic, #violence, #Vitriol, #watch, #words, #worth, #Written, #youngpeople, @BrianLoging, Articles, Listen, News, Opinion, People, World

Smoldering

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Smoldering –

On Saturday afternoon I burned a pile of branches, old newspapers, and other miscellaneous items. The smell of the ashes and leftover debris lingered in the air the next day. I had forgotten to grab an old wooden rocking chair out of the reading room which also needed to be disposed of. When I noticed it Sunday afternoon I wondered if the smoldering ash would still be hot enough to do anything. I took the chair out, broke it into several pieces and put some under the coals, which were still a faint orange, and put the rest in a pile on top. I checked it after a while and noticed the smoke had increased. About an hour later the wood was ablaze with a good flame. It didn’t take long to consume it once the fire restarted. Not too long afterward the chair was gone.

I wrote last week about the struggles I have when February rolls around. Many years have passed but the layers of hurt, anger, and uncertainty still lay buried, ready to ignite when fuel is added. What I try to do, instead of dwelling on the past, is not feed the flames. When I am aware and notice my mind drifting back to the place of pain I find a place to breathe. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. I remind myself of the truth that I cannot change the past but I can be present in the now. Does it always work? No. Does it work? Yes. Maybe one day I will be healed, maybe not, but I don’t want to give up on living today because of the difficulties of yesterday.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Nothing is Lacking

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Nothing is Lacking–

I was a part of a conversation this week where a group of people was giving a person advice. The advice was based on what the person had shared; a story of love and betrayal. On the wrong side of a bad choice is a terrible place to be and the person was fixated on how to either get over on the person who hurt him or get over it period. Two choices were staring him the face and he was going to choose either one or the other.

Decisions based on pain are almost always bad ones. We make these in times of stress, confusion, doubt, and loneliness. We feel as though we have lost something, had it taken away from us, and we want it back or rather life back the way it was or the way it should be.

Wisdom teaches us that suffering is the gap between how life is, reality, and how we think life ought to be. The greater the gap the more suffering. It is why learning to let go and acceptance are two of the greatest life lessons we can learn and practice. Life is rarely if ever, the way we want. Even if for a while it seems to be sooner or later it changes and we have no control over this truth. To live with open hand, to not try to grasp, force life to stay the same and allow for the inevitable change is to know and live in peace.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #acceptance, #advice. #based, #allow, #almost, #always, #away, #bad, #betrayal, #blessings, #change, #changes, #choice, #choices, #Choose, #confusion, #control, #conversation, #decisions, #doubt, #face, #feel, #fixated, #force, #gap, #getover, #giving, #grasp, #greater, #greatest, #group, #hand, #hurt, #inevitable, #know, #lacking, #later, #learn, #learning, #lessons, #letgo, #life, #lost, #nothing, #open, #pain, #period, #practice, #rarely, #reality, #shared, #shouldbe, #side, #sooner, #staring, #staythesame, #story, #stress, #suffering, #taken, #teaches, #terrible, #think, #times, #truth, #wantitback, #wisdom, #wrong, loneliness, love, Peace, People

Testing, 1, 2, 3

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Testing, 1, 2, 3 –

Today was my annual Tuberculosis test for the non-profit where I am employed. I don’t like tests, shots, or pain so this was a three for three experience of joy! It’s the same every year. I go into a small room, the nurse tells me this is going to hurt but not too much. I look away and tell her I don’t want to know when just do it. She does and then tells me to come back in 2-3 days for the results. So, I wait.

I don’t have Tuberculosis. At least I don’t think I do. Would I know it if I did? The test makes me think about it. Each year I forget what a positive result looks like so I google the symptoms and then look at my arm over the next couple of days to make sure I don’t have what I don’t think I have…

Life has a way of making us worry about a lot of stuff. You watch, read or listen to the news you begin to worry about things you hadn’t even thought of before. You talk with family, friends and they’ll give you something else to be concerned about. Before you know it, if you’re not careful, you have enough stress and anxiety to last a lifetime.

Wisdom teaches us that agonizing, over thinking, brooding, and panic are not a healthy state of mind or emotions. Letting go of that which distresses us might not be easy but carrying around a load of tension and agitation ensure we will never find the peace which we desperately desire and need.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mental Health

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Tags: #agitation, #agonizing, #annual, #anxiety, #arm, #begin, #blessings, #brooding, #careful, #carrying, #concerned, #days, #desire, #desperately, #distresses, #easy, #emotions, #employed, #ensure, #experience, #find, #forget, #friends, #google, #healthy, #hurt, #joy, #lettinggo, #life, #lifetime, #load, #might, #need, #never, #next, #non-profit, #nurse, #overthinking, #pain, #panic, #positive, #results, #shots, #state, #stress, #symptoms, #teaches, #tension, #test, #testing, #think, #today, #Tuberculosis, #wait, #watch, #way, #wisdom, #worry, Family, Listen, Mind, News, Peace, Talk, Thought

Teaching Peace

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Teaching Peace –

Earlier this week I was talking with a man who has a confessed anger problem. He’s also been hurt by some people he trusted. The pain and rage of this betrayal occupy his thoughts and revenge is his stated goal. As we spoke with each other I explained to him that violence is not going to fix things. It will only make it worse for the man and his family. “Good mental health, the ability to process our emotions in a healthy, positive way will have a lasting impact on your family. Not choosing wisely will hurt you and those you love. I know the feelings are there and they’re eating you up inside but taking a path which doesn’t lead to peace punishes everyone.”

Peace is a hard concept and discipline to put into practice. We live in a world which claims the right to revenge and paying people back for the harm they’ve caused us. However, if we stubbornly stay on the path to; “right the wrongs” done to us we will not find contentment but an endless cycle of violence and retribution.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #ability, #anger, #betrayal, #blessings, #caused, #choosing, #claims, #concept, #confessed, #contentment, #cycle, #discipline, #eating, #emotions, #endless, #explained, #feelings, #find, #fix, #goal, #good, #hard, #harm, #healthy, #hurt, #impact, #inside, #lasting, #live, #man, #mental, #mentalhealth, #occupy, #pain, #path, #paying, #positive, #practice, #problem, #process, #punishes, #rage, #retribution, #revenge, #right, #spoke, #stated, #stay, #stubbornly, #talking, #teaching, #trusted, #violence, #way, #wisely, #worse, #wrongs, Family, Health, Lead, love, Peace, People, Thoughts, World

No Apologies

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

No Apologies –

I have a friend who is going through an incredibly difficult season of life. It’s not easy what she’s dealing with but we both know there are certain stages of this journey she must travel alone. It is hard watching a friend, a family member, a loved one going through a dark time and know we don’t have the power to stop it or even ease the pain. We long to wrap our arms around them and chase the doubts, confusion, fear, and pain away but in spite of our effort, it isn’t possible. My friend knows me and a host of others are there for her and doing what we can but the path she treks is long and oftentimes lonely.

One of the rules my friend and I have in place is that she doesn’t have to say she’s sorry. There are no apologies necessary when she doesn’t feel like talking or going somewhere, being social and choosing isolation. There is no; “I’m sorry.” There’s just now and getting through each day moment by moment.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #alone, #apologies, #arms, #blessings, #certain, #chase, #choosing, #confusion, #dark, #deal, #dealing, #difficult, #doubts, #ease, #easy, #efforts, #fear, #feel, #friend, #hard, #incredibly, #isolation, #life, #lonely, #long, #lovedone, #member, #necessary, #no, #now, #oftentimes, #pain, #path, #possible, #power, #rules, #season, #social, #sorry, #spite, #stages, #stop, #talking, #through, #treks, #watching, #wrap, Family, moment

Empathy

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Empathy –

I heard a story today about a chaplain who worked in a veteran’s hospital in the 1950’s. There was an African-American soldier in the hospital who had lost a leg in the Korean War. The physical therapists had worked with him trying to get him used to wear a prosthetic leg. Both the soldier and medical personnel tried everything they could think of but nothing worked and the soldier was ready to give up and live life with one leg and crutches for the rest of his life.

The chaplain was made aware of the situation and stopped by soldier’s bed one night to see if he could be of any help. “I can still feel my leg, my real leg!” the soldier cried. “It’s a phantom pain.” replied the chaplain, “It will go away in time.” “That leg!” retorted the soldier gesturing toward the prosthetic one, “will never be ‘my’ leg.” After visiting with the young man the chaplain prayed with him and asked if he could take the prosthetic one with him. The soldier responded with a shrug.

The next day the chaplain returned with the same leg except it was painted a shade of brown to more closely match the soldier’s own skin tone. “What did you do?” asked the perplexed soldier. The chaplain, hoping he hadn’t offended the young man said he took it home with him and thought painting it might make it seem more palatable. “That’s all you did?” asked the soldier admiring the leg. “That’s it.” smiled the chaplain. The chaplain helped the young man to the side of the bed, attached the leg, helped him take his first few steps and from that day forward the soldier made remarkable progress.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. The chaplain helped the soldier not by insisting he use resources given to him by the hospital but by listening and understanding what the soldier was going through and then adapting his help to the soldier’s personal, unique need.

Too often we see people who need assistance and we automatically assume there are places and resources that are available. We surmise that if someone wants help enough they’ll figure out how to get it. The truth is everyone’s story is unique and unless we listen, understand and are willing to personally get involved many will go on suffering and being blamed for doing so.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mental Health, Mindfulness

Tags: # understanding, #ability, #adapting, #admiring, #African-American, #another, #assistance, #assume, #attached, #automatically, #aware, #blamed, #blessings, #chaplain, #closely, #crutches, #empathy, #Except, #feel, #feelings, #figure, #firststeps, #forward, #gesturing, #getinvolved, #giveup, #goingthrough, #heard, #help, #helped, #hoping, #hospital, #insisting, #Korean, #life, #listening, #live, #lost, #match, #medical, #nothing, #offended, #pain, #painted, #palatable, #perplexed, #personally, #personnel, #phantom, #physicaltherapists, #prayed, #progress, #prosthetic, #real, #remarkable, #resources, #responded, #retorted, #returned, #share, #shrug, #situation, #skin, #smiled, #soldier, #stopped, #story, #suffering, #surmise, #time, #today, #tone, #toward, #truth, #understand, #unique, #veteran's, #visiting, #War, #worked, Home, Painting, Personal

Might Be

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Might Be –

One of the greatest senses we can develop is that of self-awareness. It’s the discipline of being able to look into an existential mirror and see who we really are, no delusion or illusion. We can see ourselves, the good and the not so good, discover what we do well and what needs to be improved.

Most live in a constant state of denial of who they are and/or who they should be. They allow others, culture, reputation, ego, the false self to define them. If we are not self-aware the world has a limitless number of fake identities to slap on us. If we aren’t careful we can settle for these alter-egos and never take off the masks too many wear for a lifetime.

Letting go of who we’ve always thought we should be isn’t easy. There is pain involved on the journey of self-discovery. However, if we dare, the challenges and difficulties can be overcome, the illusions and delusions shattered, and we become what most dare not hope for; at peace.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Contemplative, Wisdom

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Tags: #able, #allow, #alter, #alter-egos, #blessings, #careful, #challenges, #constant, #dare, #define, #delusion, #delusions, #denial, #develop, #difficulties, #discipline, #discover, #easy, #ego, #egos, #existential, #fake, #false, #falseself, #good, #greatest, #hope, #identities, #illusion, #illusions, #improved, #involved, #journey, #lettinggo, #lifetime, #limitless, #masks, #MightBe, #mirror, #notsogood, #overcome, #pain, #reputation, #self, #self-aware, #self-awareness, #self-discovery, #senses, #settle, #shattered, #slap, #state, #wear, Culture, Peace, World

On Demand

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

On Demand –

This afternoon I had a follow-up appointment at the doctor’s office. They needed to do a routine check-up and wanted a deposit. I had figured as much so I made sure not to leave my deposit at home before I left. I went to the restroom, readied the bottle and…nothing. No matter how much I concentrated there just wasn’t anything that was going to happen. After several minutes I meekly came out of the lavatory and explained the situation to the nurse. She then sent me to the staff vampire who had no such trouble sticking me with a big needle and taking my second deposit by force. I now have a cotton ball and medical tape covering a hole in my arm.

We live in an; “On Demand” world. We get and expect things instantaneously. The problem is sometimes life doesn’t work that way. We may demand expediency but delay and obstruction is what we’re given. If we decide to take what we need to wait on by force pain is often the what we receive instead of what we desire.

It does us good to wait, to not get what we want, to be told; “No!” It reminds us we aren’t all-powerful, possess full control, aren’t as able as we’d like to believe. Wisdom, and the lessons it uses in everyday life remind us who we are, who we aren’t and how to be at peace with both.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #able, #allpowerful, #appointment, #believe, #blessings, #bottle, #check-up, #concentrated, #control, #decide, #delay, #demand, #deposit, #desire, #expect, #expediency, #explained, #follow-up, #force, #fullcontrol, #going, #good, #happen, #instantaneously, #instead, #lessons, #life, #meekly, #minutes, #needed, #nothing, #obstruction, #OnDemand, #pain, #possess, #powerful, #problem, #readied, #receive, #remind, #restroom, #routine, #second, #several, #situation, #staff, #sticking, #taking, #trouble, #vampire, #wait, #whatwewant, #wisdom, Peace, to be told; "No!" It #reminds, World

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