I listened to a mom today tell of a time not so long ago when she and her daughter were not getting along. A long-simmering unspoken argument turned into a loud, heated word-fight in a public place. “I hate you! You never listen! You don’t care what I want! Nothing’s ever good enough for you!” were the words her child screamed that day. Instead of shouting back, the words of her child wounded her heart and she realized; “I might actually lose my daughter if I don’t start doing things differently.” Over the next several weeks she discovered that what her daughter said in an anger tirade was true. This mom was pushing her too much, not letting her discover herself, applying too much pressure on things which weren’t that important. In short, she was trying to make her daughter into what she thought she should be and not allowing her daughter to find herself.
Wisdom tells us that when we attempt to control others, make them presentable to us, what we think is best, we end up either chasing them away or killing the spirit within. Truly loving someone is allowing them to grow, make mistakes, choose different paths, free of our judgment and disapproval. It’s letting them be and loving them.
Your Path –
I had a conversation not long ago with someone who’s trying to stay on a certain path for the rest of his life. I asked him; “How much regret do you have over choices you’ve made, decisions which have shaped your life so far?” He closed his eyes, released a heavy “sigh” and replied; “Plenty.”
I reminded him that every choice he makes takes him down a certain path. “You were born with certain genetics and predispositions. You didn’t choose your parents, the environment you were raised in, the “normal” you existed in that had a big hand in who you were and are today. However, you have the ability to decide if these things will dictate the path of your life or if you will be master of your own fate.”
All paths lead us to our last day. People will gather, songs will be sung, words will be spoken and the shell known as our bodies will be laid in a box, lowered into the dirt and dirt we shall become. What happens after our burial we have no control but the path we take to get there will either be one chosen for us or one we defiantly, determinedly, choose to walk and not waver.