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Thorny Situation

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Thorny Situation –

Today working in a friend’s yard I came across several thick, thorny, vines. They were growing up from the ground and had worked their ways into several trees wrapping themselves around numerous limbs. I found the source where they started and sawed it as close to the ground as possible. Then, with a pair of thick gloves, I grabbed and pulled. I was able to get almost ten feet of the vine dragged down before the vines drew a bunch of limbs together and wouldn’t go any further. I asked another friend who was helping to grab a saw and cut the vines as high as he could. He did and the remaining vines popped back up into the trees. Eventually, since they have no connection to the ground, they will rot and die. At the source, a vigilant eye will be needed to make sure it doesn’t start growing again.

Wisdom teaches us there are thorny issues in our lives. They intertwine themselves into many parts of our lives and begin to choke us. They’re sharp and we’re sensitive to the impact they have on us and others. To rid ourselves of them we have to find the source and cut it out of our lives. We also need to be untangled from the hold they have on us. Thorny issues are not easy to get rid of. It will take perseverance and patience until they are fully gone and a vigilant eye to make sure they don’t return.

blessings,
BrianLoging (Twitter)

For more posts, reflection and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #blessings, #choke, #cutthemout, #draggeddown, #findthesource, #Growingup, #helping, #hold, #impact, #intertwine, #needed, #noteasytogetridof, #partsofourlives, #patience, #Perseverance, #remainingvine, #rid, #sensitive, #sharp, #source, #startgrowing, #teaches, #thick, #thorny, #thornyissues, #ThornySituation, #Untangle, #vigilanteye, #vines, #wisdom, #workedtheirway, #wrapping, @BrianLoging

Firsts

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Firsts –

Today was a great day for working in the yard. The sun stayed behind thin clouds, a breeze kept one from getting too warm and no rain. As I mowed, trimmed, collected trash and went to the dump, helped my wife with the flowers, I reflected on a friend who’s going to an event tonight for the first time since her life changed dramatically several months ago. I know, in part, what she’s feeling. In 2014 my life irrevocably morphed into something I didn’t recognize anymore. After the trauma its difficult to try to find your way back to balance, peace and growth. It’s been four years for me and I am still waiting for the dust to settle.

The first year might be the most demanding and punishing. It is a “year of firsts.” Life goes on no matter how much you want it to stop so you can catch your breath. Things keep moving and you feel run over. The firsts keep coming; anniversaries, special days, holidays, birthdays, events, occasions, and there’s no ignoring them. It is a challenge to try and can be heartbreaking when the healing wound is punctured again. You hope, pray, you’ll be able to make it.

Wisdom teaches us that a humble spirit, good friends, and patience are the way to a new kind of wholeness and acceptance.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #acceptance, #balance, #blessings, #catchyourbreath, #challenge, #changeddramatically, #difficult, #dusttosettle, #event, #findyourway, #Firsts, #friend, #goodfriends, #growth, #healing, #heartbreaking, #hope, #humblespirit, #ignoring, #irrevocably, #keepmoving, #lifegoeson, #morphed, #mostdemanding, #occasions, #patience, #pray, #punctured, #punishing, #recognize, #reflected, #shes feeling, #specialdays, #stillwaiting, #teaches, #thewannabesaint.com, #trauma, #wholeness, #wisdom, #wound, #yearoffirsts, @BrianLoging, anniversaries, birthdays, Events, Holidays, Peace

Untangle

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Untangle –

Yesterday I made a promise to my wife. Actually, it was more of a threat. I threatened to leave the hose pipe outside all winter instead of putting it up in the fall. The reason for this is no matter what I try it all seems to be one giant tangled mess when I pull it out in the spring. One of my chores on Thursday was to untangle the jumbled mess of about three hundred feet of hose pipe. First I grabbed and dragged out most of it. Then I detached the ends to make them easier to work with. After this, I pulled each pipe end going over and under the other until I finally had one section free! When I did this six or seven times all the sections were in their own place and then hooking them together again one at a time I was able to run the hose pipe to the different areas of the yard. Whew! It was a hard, difficult job but had to be done.

In my work with men, fathers, and families, the initial times we meet to set up a plan of learning and action can seem like wrestling with a jumbled mess of hose pipe. However, with time and patience slowly learning, finding and breaking down the challenges, habits, hurts, and hang-ups, we can begin to put the pieces back together again.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #action, #areas, #backtogether, #begin, #blessings, #breakingdown, #challenges, #detached, #different, #difficult, #drug, #easier, #families, #fathers, #Finally, #finding, #giant, #grabbed, #habits, #hang-ups, #hard, #hooking, #hurts, #individual, #initial, #instead, #job, #jumbledmess, #learning, #meet, #men, #mess, #nomatterwhat, #oneatatime, #outside, #over, #patience, #pieces, #plan, #promise, #pulled, #reason, #section, #setup, #slowly, #tangled, #thewannabesaint.com, #threat, #threatened, #Under, #Untangle, #Whew, #work, #workwith, #wrestling, @BrianLoging, Free

Pardon the Interruption

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Pardon the Interruption –

When my wife and I first moved up north we were aware there would be cultural differences that both the people we work with and we would need to get used to. For instance, down south we say we’re going to put something “in the hopper,” which means we’ll think about it. Up north, however, it has something to do with a commode. So, that was a phrase I stopped using. Another difference was people interrupting each other. It didn’t take long to notice, especially at meetings, that people would start talking before another person was finished. When this happened the person interrupted either returned the favor or waited for the interruptee to stop before they started up again. In the south, we might fake it but we at least acted like we were listening and waited for the person to finish before we began to talk.

I remember bringing this up at a meeting where people were talking all over each other. I stated the difference and perhaps if we waited, and listened until the other was finished, perhaps our meetings would be more productive and not last as long. It didn’t go over well. No one told me to get over it but the behavior never stopped and I never brought up the subject again.

This was about 10 years ago and I’ve noticed rudeness isn’t going anywhere. In fact, rudeness seems to be expanding at an incredible rate. From radio to tv, social media, family, friends, co-workers, people at grocery stores, arguing and not listening, folks stubbornly stating their point of view, driving haphazardly, everyone in a hurry and not caring who they offend to get their lists of to-do’s done. Even our president cusses, calls people names, makes fun and insults others. Rudeness is winning.

So, how do we stop rudeness from continuing to be the norm? My only answer is kindness, patience, being at peace and giving peace. It’s not about arguing a point but being what you hope others will become.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

Tags: #acted, #answer, #arguing, #aware, #become, #before, #behavior, #blessings, #bringing, #brought, #calls, #caring, #co-workers, #commode, #continuing, #cultural, #cusses, #differences, #especially, #everyone, #expanding, #fake, #favor, #finish, #finished, #folks, #friends, #fun, #giving, #grocery, #haphazardly, #hope, #hopper, #hurry, #incredible, #instance, #insults, #interrupted, #interruptee, #interrupting, #Interruption, #kindness, #least, #listening, #lists, #media, #meetings, #moved, #never, #norm, #north, #notice, #noticed, #offend, #Pardon, #patience, #perhaps, #person, #phrase, #point, #President, #productive, #radio, #rate, #returned, #rudeness, #social, #start, #started, #stated, #stating, #stop, #stopped, #stores, #stubbornly, #subject, #think, #to-do's, #toilet, #view, #waited, #winning, Family, Driving, Peace, Talk, TV

Silent

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Silent –

I read an interview this week of an actress who was verbally attacked by a well-known director this summer. He insulted her current movie and her by proxy. Her response? She didn’t say anything. She kept silent in spite of the fact that her movie was one of the summer’s biggest blockbusters. In the last few weeks, she was asked why she never responded to the criticism of the director. She answered simply; “I didn’t want to give him the attention he was looking for.”

Two or three days ago a journalist began publicizing his book about the president. The book and the author weren’t at all flattering of the man or the job he’s doing as our nation’s leader. In response, the president responded with insults, negative tweets, threatening lawsuits and gave the author what he wanted most; more attention. I’ve heard even the most ardent supporters of the president question why he couldn’t leave it alone?

Wisdom teaches us to know when to speak and when to stay silent. If you’re wondering which to do a favorite quote of mine is; “No one regrets a rushed word unspoken.” The truth is we talk too much. We are too quick to defend ourselves. Most can’t handle a perceived slight. Our tongues and lips seem to be “at the ready” to do battle with whoever and whatever insults, belittles, or challenges our view of the world or ourselves.

Wisdom reveals that silence and patience are signs of maturity in those who have a strong sense of who and what they are as a person.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #alone, #answered, #ardent, #asked, #attacked, #attention, #attheready, #author, #battle, #belittles, #blessings, #challenges, #criticism, #defend, #director, #favorite, #flattering, #give, #insulted, #insults, #interview, #journalist, #keptsilent, #lawsuits, #leader, #leave, #lips, #maturity, #moreattention, #nation's, #never, #patience, #perceived, #person, #President, #proxy, #publicizing, #question, #quick, #quote, #regrets, #responded, #response, #reveals, #rushed, #sayanything, #sense, #signs, #silent, #simply, #slight, #speak, #strong, #supporters, #teaches, #threatening, #tongues, #toomuch, #trump, #truth, #tweets, #unspoken, #verbally, #view, #wisdom, #wondering, Negative, Silence, Talk, World

Safe to Land

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Safe to Land –

Today, I was mowing grass and doing yard work for a friend. Most of the grass has already turned brown for the winter except for a few green patches. As I mowed over a patch a large grasshopper jumped up and from the ground and landed on my shirt. I didn’t have time to figure out what to do because he got his bearings and jumped again to a safe space. This happened more than once as I kept infringing on his territory.

Each time the grasshopper hitched a ride I thought about our lives and the times we need temporary safe places to land. Not spaces we will occupy permanently but where we can get our bearings, catch our breath, take stock of what’s happening, see the challenge and the difficulty and perhaps a way to avoid it or, if needed, endure it.

I also reflected on the need to be a place that is safe to land for others who are in trouble. A place where they can feel accepted and be safe. A space that has a listening ear, no advice unless asked for, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, patience and empathy to endure and understand.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #accepted, #avoid, #bearings, #catch, #challenge, #cry, #difficulty, #ear, #empathy, #endure, #feel, #grasshopper, #hand, #happening, #hitched, #hold, #land, #listening, #lives, #need, #needed, #occupy, #patience, #perhaps, #permanently, #places, #reflected, #ride, #safe, #safetoland, #shoulder, #space, #spaces, #stock, #temporary, #times, #trouble, #understand, advice, breath

Purpose

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Purpose –

Today, I had a meeting at a discreet location in a women’s shelter. There was no sign and the house was off the road down a long driveway. Blink and you would miss the driveway and the house couldn’t be seen from the road. The meeting was one of our county’s Community Action Board which is made up of several organizations who partner together to reach as many families in need and/or in crisis as possible.

The leader of the house was a nice woman who talked softly but her love for the women in the house was obvious. The women who are enrolled there are from all backgrounds, religions, and nationalities. Some have experienced abuse at the hands of others and some abused themselves. Under the roof of this home, however, all were welcomed, loved and given the skills to start life anew with a sense of belonging and purpose.

Written on a huge dry erase board were the rules of the house, encouragement and motivational sayings, practical applications of the lessons being taught to those who stayed in the home. On one board, almost in the middle was the name of the leader and one of the tenants wrote; “She rocks!” I thought this was awesome. Here is a woman who has given her life to helping those in need. It did not go unappreciated.

I hope each of us can find a place where we can offer love, kindness, time, patience and give worth to those whom life has overlooked or discarded.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #abuse, #anew, #applications, #awesome, #backgrounds, #belonging, #blessings, #discarded, #encouragement, #experienced, #find, #give, #givenherlife, #hope, #kindness, #leader, #lessons, #life, #loved, #Motivational, #nationalities, #need, #obvious, #offer, #overlooked, #patience, #practical, #religions, #roof, #rules, #sense, #skills, #start, #taught, #time, #unappreciated, #Under, #welcomed, #worth, #Written, Home, love, purpose

Elude

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Elude –

Mowing the grass today I crossed paths with a butterfly which seemed for a moment he would land on the lawn mower and I’d have a riding partner. Alas, at the last moment, he turned and fluttered away.

I like this quote (pictured). It’s a good reminder that happiness too can elude us quickly. There are many things in this world which promise happiness, contentment, satisfaction but few deliver and even fewer last more than a season. What’s interesting is we keep chasing after the new thing which promises us a better, more respected, fulfilled life but like the butterfly, it flutters away.

It isn’t wrong to seek happiness but in our frenetic, ever evolving, never steady world it’s easy to get lost in chasing trinkets and listening to voices on the wind. The more difficult way is to be still and allow happiness to find us. It takes trust and patience but most good things do.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #bestill, #butterfly, #chasing, #eludes, #good, #goodthings, #life, #patience, #trust, #waiting, #wisdom, #zen

Carrier or Cure

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Carrier or Cure –

I listened to a doctor today say that it was scientifically proven that the mood of one person can contaminate and infect an entire office or family. If an employee arrives to work exhausted, frustrated, malcontented, then it can “infect” their co-workers. If a family member is happy, content, joyful it too can spread to the other members of the family, lifting their spirits, helping them see the beauty in those who often drive one another crazy.

Most likely, each of us has experienced this phenomenon at work and at home. A husband or wife comes home in a foul mood after a long day of work, conflicts with another employee or the boss, fighting traffic and bringing this stress and anxiety with them as they cross the threshold of the family home. Or a co-worker, struggling with issues in the home, bringing their baggage to work.

The doctor noted that empathy, the ability to understand and feel what another person is experiencing, is an antidote that keeps the mood from spreading. Listening, patience, and the willingness to help the other are also effective in stopping the infection.

The question becomes; “are we a carrier or part of the cure?”

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

Tags: #badmood, #conflict, #coworker, #doctor, #empathy, #familymember, #infection, #listening, #patience, #spread, #spreading, #struggles, #work, Family

Perfectly Acceptable

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Perfectly Acceptable –

“It is time!” my wife told me last night. “Cutting the lawn can wait no longer!” I was hoping to wait until mid-April because mowing the grass too early can leave it vulnerable to disease. However, last week the church beside us cut theirs and now our yard looks even more unkempt. So, if it doesn’t rain today and the grass can dry out from a shower last night, I will mow today.

I blame the mild winter and the enormous amounts of rain we’ve had the last two months on the lawn being so out of control. Everything is blooming, budding sprouting and looks beautiful. The grass is the exception. It’s not all one height. Part of the grass is several inches tall while other parts are just turning green and still short.

Waiting for the sun and slight wind of this beautiful spring day to chase away the moisture I’m also reflecting on how the lawn and life are similar. There are parts of our lives where everything seems to be growing and flourishing while other parts seem to have trouble keeping up. There are relationships that are blossoming and healthy while we struggle with others. Our job may be going well but our home life needs improving. We are well-balanced emotionally but our physical side could use some conditioning. Mentally we are strong but spiritually we are lacking.

Wisdom teaches us that life is rarely, if ever, simultaneously great or terrible. What we look to do is find balance and acceptance. To do this we must ask; “Are we giving too much time to one area while neglecting another?” or “Is it just seasonal?” Perhaps a little more attention and lot more patience and we will see the blessing of a life that’s not perfect but is loved, accepted and a work in progress.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #acceptance, #attention, #improving, #keepingup, #mentally, #patience, #perfect, #progress, #seasonal, #spiritually, #troubles, #wellbalanced, #workinprogress

Up Ahead

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Up Ahead –

Earlier today I was on my way to an appointment when I ran into a long line at a traffic light. The light showed a green arrow when the turning lane I was in could go. After only a few moments the arrow turned green and nobody moved. I waited, waited, waited and began to grow impatient! “Don’t you see the arrow is green?!?!?” I thought to myself but still no one advanced. It was then I spied an ambulance moving through the intersection and it, of course, had the right away.

I sat there reflecting on my frustration at the situation. The driver at the front of the line saw the ambulance when I could not. They knew not to go, to wait, that patience and yielding were in order. It was a great reminder to me that life is not always about going. There are times, seasons, it’s about waiting, allowing others to move while we wait, hopefully, patiently.

blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #advance, #ambulance, #dontmove, #go!, #notmove, #patience, #patient, #proceed, #trafficlight, #trust, #waiting, Stillness

Standing Still

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Standing Still –

Tonight was the first class of our winter semester for incarcerated fathers. When I arrived at the corrections facility I was busy getting my things together before opening the truck door because a cold front has moved into the area and for the first time in a while it feels like winter. I shut the front truck driver’s door, turned around and saw a deer about 30 feet away staring at me. Then I saw another and another. Three deer standing, looking at me as I looked at them. I didn’t want to disturb the moment. I kept expecting them to run away but they stood their ground and me, cold and shivering didn’t want to do anything to spook them. Finally, after what seemed like several minutes I knew I needed to get inside and prepare for class. I moved slowly and the deer watched as I opened the back truck door, took out my supplies, and shut it. I began walking toward the entrance, turned around and they were gone.

It was a perfect moment which happened all by happenstance; the deer and me, right time, place and spirit of awe. I hope 2017 brings more of these because my soul desperately needs them.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #2017, #awe, #deer, #experience, #inthemoment, #patience, #standing, #standingstill, #timestandingstill, #wisdom, Stillness

Choose Wisely

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Choose Wisely –

Yesterday I needed to drive into town and sign some important documents. I wasn’t excited about dropping everything I was doing and running this errand but there was no other option. On the way, it seemed like every light was red, the road was occupied with the slowest of drivers, and I even had to pull over for a funeral procession.

By the time I arrived to sign the papers my patience was wearing thin. I walked in, told the woman behind the counter my name and what documents I needed to sign. She looked all around her with no luck. There were three two-drawer metal filing cabinets behind her. She pulled on one with no luck and began looking for the keys. “Sigh!” She found the key to one of the filing cabinet and said over her shoulder to me; “It has to be in one of these!” “Ugh!”

She opened the first one and no luck. She then looked for and found the key to the second one, opened it up and…no papers. Finding the third key she opened the last filing cabinet and; “Tada!” I signed the papers, told the woman thank you, and began to drive back home. I immediately became aware that my patience was thin and I needed to breathe out the tension and anxiety and breathe in stillness and peace.

As much as I like to consider myself a contemplative, patience isn’t my default emotional and mental place. Like the filing cabinets; I start with frustration, move to irritation with patience and letting go, seeming to be one of the last drawers I open.
I hope, pray, that one day instead of patience and peace being one of the final options they will be my first and only.

blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #consider, #default, #emotional, #final, #frustration, #hope, #irritation, #lettinggo, #mentalplace, #options, #patience, #pray, Contemplative, Peace

Growth

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Growth –

Whew! Spent most of the day framing in the porch. We are almost ready for the screening and the end is in sight. There’s a good tired feeling after a day’s worth of hard work and feeling as if you’ve accomplished a lot.

To finish out the day I watered our plants and flowers. It’s been a couple of weeks since we’ve had any rain and they were quite thirsty. In the front yard, we have four Blue Spruces. We bought them at the same time and they looked the same; small and a bluish-green. However, today, when I was watering them I noticed they all looked different. They were planted at the same time, are basically in the same place. They receive water, mulch, pruning at the same time and yet they are growing in disparate ways. One is taller, one is “fatter”, one has two stems on top, and one looks bigger than all the others. Even though they’ve received the same amount of attention, sunshine, rain, hot and cool days, the are not the same.

Wisdom teaches us that people are similar to the Blue Spruces. They grow at different rates, in different ways, at different times. Often we forget how unique each of us are in how we mature emotionally, mentally and spiritually. We are tempted to judge negatively those who aren’t keeping up with others only later to perhaps discover an unexpected growth spurt from a “late bloomer” has surpassed them all. Patience. Acceptance. Perseverance. These are all needed attributes when measuring the growth and maturation of those around us.

“Never judge a person’s progress no matter how slow.” -Plato

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

Tags: #acceptance, #attributes, #BlueSpruces, #differentrates, #differenttimes, #differentways, #discover, #emotionally, #grow, #growth, #growthspurt, #judge, #latebloomer, #maturation, #mature, #measuring, #mentally, #patience, #Perseverance, #spiritually, #teaches, #tempted, #unique, #wisdom

Patience is…

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Patience is… –

A few moments ago I was standing in a long line at a store, waiting patiently while a young man, who didn’t seem thrilled to be working on a Saturday evening, checked out the plenteous people in front of me. I glanced around and noticed none of the other registers were open so I took a few deep breaths, thought about my day, and practiced stoicism in the face of this minor irritation in the grand scheme of things.

Finally, I was next in line as an elderly woman checked out and, for some reason, her check card wasn’t working. As she was finishing up another employee walked up to the front and said; “Register two is now open!” and the people behind me took advantage. I shook my head and thought; “This is my life, summed up in one experience.”

They say if you pray for patience you will receive temptations, trials, and travails. Patience has never been one of my virtues. Part of it is my anxiety disorder which propels me to always be thinking, moving or a combination of both. However, I am also a product of our “got to have it immediately!” culture. To wait is an offense to our too busy lives. We long to escape our hectic, event-filled, crazy, chaotic lives, but how?

I stand in a line, take a few more deep breaths and remember life is made up of these moments we call; “Now.”

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

Tags: #busylives, #deepbreaths, #impatient, #now, #patience, #slowdown, #waiting

Grow Again

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Grow Again –

A few weeks ago when I mowed our lawn it seemed mostly running the blades over dirt. However, the last week and a half has brought several days of much-needed rain and the grass is growing again. In less than a week since the last mow the yard needs cutting again! I am certainly not complaining. I would rather mow more often than look at brown grass and stunted plants. I don’t know if the rain will continue to fall but I am enjoying every drop that settles on the parched land.

It’s interesting how new patterns in life can emerge. For most of the summer the rain would fall around us, just a few miles away but not often at our place. Now we are enjoying being on the receiving end.

The rain is a wonderful reminder that life seems unfair when others are being “blessed” while we are merely witnesses. Though we try to be thankful for others’ gifts and favors we can’t help but wonder; “Why not us?” The answer is often elusive but patience and acceptance are the lessons learned and for these we should be thankful.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #acceptance, #answer, #blessed, #contentment, #elusive, #favors, #gifts, #help, #learned, #lessons, #life, #patience, #rain, #reminder, #thankful, #unfair, #witnesses, #wonder

Left Overs

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Left Overs –

It’s now the third day after my oral surgery this past Wednesday. After a numbing gel on the impacted areas, shots of Novocaine which deadened gums, nerves, tongue, nitrous oxide which made me loopier than usual and a painkiller prescription, all that’s left over, 72 hours later, is the swelling and tenderness. I do have a few powerful pills but use them with extreme caution and sparingly for fear of becoming dependent. Even bread is hard to chew! The dentist said; “It would take time, not to rush it, invest in some ice cream.” Ice cream? Perhaps the dentist isn’t all bad. 🙂

There’s something about a part of your mouth feeling different from normal that makes you want to rub your tongue over the impacted area. With it I can tell where the surgery happened but must be gentle not to cause further pain. The first two days the ache wasn’t so bad but now that all the other desensitizing agents have worn off there’s only swelling, aching and waiting that’s left over.

Wisdom teaches us that traumatic and painful events, experiences happen to us all. We may have ways of coping with the hurt, masking the discomfort, ignoring the suffering, however, sooner or later, we must acknowledge the damage which has been done. We must accept the left overs in our lives that heartbreak and distress cause. Only then can we know the wound’s severity. Only then can we treat ourselves with gentleness and patience. Only then can we begin to heal.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #accept, #coping, #damage, #discomfort, #distress, #experiences, #gentleness, #heal, #heartbreak, #hurt, #ignoring, #masking, #painful, #patience, #suffering, #teach, #traumatic, #treat, #wisdom, #wound, Events

Not the Same

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Not the Same

The grief in her eyes was impossible to miss. She had lost someone near and dear to her. One who was young, full of life, seemingly with many years left and then one day he was gone. We spoke in hushed tones almost afraid our usual tones would make this terrible truth more real. “I don’t think life will ever be the same again. Normal seems so far from here. How do I get back?” I looked into her shocked and sorrowful eyes and said; “You don’t. Life, as you knew it to be, is over. There is no going back. In time, with healing, you will learn to live in a new normal.”

There are moments, events, seasons in life which guarantee we will never be the same again. Tragedies, awakenings, epiphanies that change everything. What we held to, put our faith in, who we loved are lost. Our rhythm and sense of normal is disrupted. We long to go back, make everything; ‘as it was,’ hold on to that which seemed solid, lasting but it sifts through our hands like sand. Our desire to return is admirable but futile.The way back has been closed off to us forever.

Finding a new normal takes patience with ourselves. We must grieve not only the loss but the difficult path of newness. Even in these darkest of times there is a light in the distance, a rhythm faintly beating, a new normal waiting to be discovered.

blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: # moments, #awakenings, #beating, #change, #closedoff, #darkest, #discovered, #disrupted, #distance, #epiphanies, #faith, #futile, #grieve, #lasting, #life, #light, #lost, #loved, #newnormal, #normal, #patience, #rhythm, #seasons, #sense, #siftingsand, #solid, #Tragedy, Events

Lessons

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

I stopped by the grocery store on the way back into town today from a presentation on Fatherhood. I needed to pick up coffee and pop-tarts, everything a middle-aged man needs for a healthy breakfast. It took me two minutes to find and grab the items off the shelf and head to the register. Making good time, all was going to plan. Second in line I smiled and then spied what the lady in front of me was purchasing; little calendars, on sale for a minuscule amount and she was buying every one she could get her hands on. The clerk was scanning each of them individually and there had to be at least a hundred. “Sorry,” the calendar buying woman said to me and I gave her a smile of; “that’s OK,” but inside I was like; “you got to be kidding me!” When the clerk was finally done the lady used two different cards to buy her items and forgot to get cash back. So I waited some more as she bought a pack of Tic-Tacs.

Patience; life has a way of trying to teach us and we have a way of resenting the lesson. After checking out myself I headed to the truck and couldn’t help but roll my eyes and laugh.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #lesson, #lines, #patience, #resent, #waiting, #wisdom

The Gift of Waiting

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

FedEx has a problem. They have packages that were supposed to be delivered by December 25 and, uhoh, today is Christmas. People who ordered their gifts days, week, even a month ago are wondering; “where are the presents I ordered online?!?!” And now Christmas is apparently ruined for thousands of people and families across the globe.

Seems like “first world“, spoiled American, “not really a problem” problems but in our got to have it now, should’ve been here yesterday, drive thru, instant society, FedEx has violated the Cardinal rule of faster is better. Instead of lessons in patience, windows of time to appreciate the bounty of blessings most already have, folks flock to social media, make phone calls, write letters or send emails angrily expressing their displeasure at having to wait. Delayed gratification just isn’t our thing.

It’s Christmas day. This day is the epitome of rejoicing and waiting. Of celebrating what has happened and the anticipation of what’s to come. Perhaps the gift of not having all we seek is perfect for a culture where; “wait” may be the ultimate four letter word.

Blessings of joy, peace and stillness this Christmas day,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #christmas, #help, #journey, #life, #path, #patience, #wait, #wisdom, mindfulness, Peace, Truth

After a Season

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Last April, while helping out with a Habitat for Humanity project, I came across three large logs someone had abandoned. I loaded them in the back of the truck to throw on my firepit. Back home, I immediately placed one of the logs on the pit but since it was green and wet it wouldn’t burn. As hotter weather arrived and the firepit was being used less I took the remaining two and placed them in an area which would keep them dry.

This week a preview of fall weather arrived and last night I took out one of the logs which had been drying out for the summer season. It had no problem burning and provided a nice source of heat on a cool evening.

As I sat and watched the log turn to embers and glow a beautiful orange, blue and red I reflected on the difference a season can make. There are projects we want to start, changes we need to make, recovery and restoration of mind body and spirit we long for and passions we hope to ignite. Yet, in spite of our efforts, desire and resolve we can’t seem to get going.

Wisdom teaches us that what we hope for, what we need, will happen not by force of will but through our belief that seasons can change many things, even us.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

Tags: #journey, #patience, #recovery, #seasons, #waiting, #wisdom

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