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Flaws

Flaws

This past Sunday evening there was a beautiful sunset and I took a picture of it. There were a few power lines in the photo so I cropped them out. A friend also had the same idea and posted her’s on social media as well except she left in the power lines in her photo. I listened to a YouTube personality talk about her life as a “celebrity” yesterday. She admitted and lamented the truth that she only gets to show the interesting parts about her life and that the videos, pictures, and posts she does for social media have to fit her “online persona” or her view numbers shrink negatively impacting her livelihood. She believed, as do I, that most people on social media crop their lives, cut out the unsightly parts so that their lives fit what their idea of who they want to be online is maintained.

We live in a world of flawed people. Our celebrities become more famous and our politicians become president by embracing what used to be unacceptable and embarrassing. In reality, what they do is highlight the negative instead of the positive and this becomes their persona, the illusion they want the world to see. Flaws, habits, hang-ups, hurts are part of who we are and what makes us unique and, hopefully, vulnerable. When we aren’t aware of our faults and flaws or celebrate and use them to build a false self we perpetuate a lie. Knowing who we are; the good and bad, positive and negative, allows us to be fully human. We see what we do well and what could use improving. Humility is an underrated trait. It reminds us how far we have to go and how far we’ve come.

For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

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Putting Up with Each Other

Putting Up with Each Other

Today is my wife Beth and my anniversary. 28 years to be exact. There are days it seems like only yesterday we said; “I do’s” and others where I wonder; “what happened to those 19-year-old kids? What were they thinking? Were they thinking? Did they understand the journey they were about to embark on?

I told Beth today; “I don’t know how you put up with me.” Some husbands and wives jest in this way but Beth knows how serious I am. Reflecting on that day 28 years ago, a hot June day in 1990 when we met at the church to say our vows to each other there is a realization I am not the person she married. Somehow Beth has grown into an even more beautiful woman inside and out. People love to be around her. Her personality is infectious. Her smile draws people to her and her spirit makes them feel welcome and loved. She is, by far, the better half.

This other half has walked a long, hard part of the journey these last several years. The struggle with, diagnosing of and living with severe chronic depression and severe anxiety have taken their toll in certain areas of my life. However, I have been blessed with a partner who meant it when she said; “for better, for worse, in sickness and in health.” I could not ask for nor deserve her love, patience, perseverance. I tell her this regularly and she reminds me she’s far from perfect.

We’ll stay on this road together’ she says, ‘putting up with each other.” Sounds good to me.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Elephant in the Room

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Elephant in the Room

I was talking with someone earlier this week about a situation he is experiencing. He is forced to make a choice between one thing and another. It’s not a choice he doesn’t want to make. As he belabored the unjustness of the decision, listing the pros and cons, complaining about the consequences of each side of the coin, I asked him a simple question. “What’s the elephant in the room?” He paused and reflected. “What do you mean?” he inquired. “Dig deeper, past the choice and the consequences, what’s the reason you’re having to make this decision?” He was quiet, then took a deep breath and answered.  He had clarity. Like a man in a cloudy stream, only when his mind was still, did the water clear.

I once had a co-worker whose personality and mine didn’t click. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It’s the way it is sometimes. He was in charge of employee evaluations. When we met in his office he read over my “grades” and was surprised they were all high. “I didn’t expect this!” he exclaimed. I sat there thinking; “You didn’t expect this because I’ve never had issues with anyone or any part of this job. The problem is you don’t like me and this colors everything.” We chatted and then I left thankful for my scores but still burdened by the negative relationship.

Wisdom teaches us to make sure we deal with the thing that matters not everything else.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

POP! Goes the Ego

RULE OF LIFE: Getting your bubble popped is never as much fun as popping someone else’s.

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Over at Neatorama there is a great video on making and popping giant bubbles.

A long, long time ago in a neighborhood far, far away blowing bubbles was the perfect way to pass an afternoon. A small plastic container with magic liquid and a wand with a circle on the end allowed you to make bubbles appear with a mere puff of air. A quick learner could make double, triple, large, small and multiple bubbles with ease. However, no matter how intricate and complex, the person who blew the biggest bubble was the best.

Egos are like bubble contests, some are impressive, others are complex, but the biggest always lay claim to being the best. We all know people in our lives with massive hubris. They never miss a chance to let you know their accomplishments, they’re in charge, they’re in this to win. In subtle and not so subtle ways everyone around them know they don’t measure up. Whether we live, work, are friends with or related to folks with overstuffed opinions of themselves we must be careful not to get sucked into their ego bubble.

One of our first responses is to POP these people. Not physically, though tempting, but through our own subtle and not so subtle ways of chipping away at their oversized confidence and bravado.  It is slippery knowing when, where, how and if to attempt to pop a swollen personality. Wisdom and life teach us most of the time it’s not worth the splatter.

When we look at our motives for wanting to let the air out of a gas-bag we often discover it’s more about our own ego than theirs. Our feelings have been hurt, we’re underappreciated, our ideas and opinions are not heard, or our egotistical counterpart just gets on our every nerve! Even as adults we want to win the contest.

Being mindful and expanding our egos don’t go together. Letting go of feelings of being bullied, embarrassed, ignored and disregarded isn’t easy. Coming to grips with our own swollen selves can be humbling.

Life isn’t about competing with one another. It’s not having what another possesses. It’s learning who you are and knowing that is enough.

“He who is not content with what he has, will not be content with what he wants.” –Socrates

blessings and burstings,

bdl

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