Blog Archives

Flaws

Flaws

This past Sunday evening there was a beautiful sunset and I took a picture of it. There were a few power lines in the photo so I cropped them out. A friend also had the same idea and posted her’s on social media as well except she left in the power lines in her photo. I listened to a YouTube personality talk about her life as a “celebrity” yesterday. She admitted and lamented the truth that she only gets to show the interesting parts about her life and that the videos, pictures, and posts she does for social media have to fit her “online persona” or her view numbers shrink negatively impacting her livelihood. She believed, as do I, that most people on social media crop their lives, cut out the unsightly parts so that their lives fit what their idea of who they want to be online is maintained.

We live in a world of flawed people. Our celebrities become more famous and our politicians become president by embracing what used to be unacceptable and embarrassing. In reality, what they do is highlight the negative instead of the positive and this becomes their persona, the illusion they want the world to see. Flaws, habits, hang-ups, hurts are part of who we are and what makes us unique and, hopefully, vulnerable. When we aren’t aware of our faults and flaws or celebrate and use them to build a false self we perpetuate a lie. Knowing who we are; the good and bad, positive and negative, allows us to be fully human. We see what we do well and what could use improving. Humility is an underrated trait. It reminds us how far we have to go and how far we’ve come.

For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

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Little Things

BumbleBee

Little Things

I’m bringin’ home my baby bumblebee,
won’t my Mama be so proud of me?
I’m bringin’ home my baby bumblebee,
Ouch! It stung me.

Last night I took the dog outside, turned on the water spigot, and began to water our flowers. The dryness and heat we’ve had the last several weeks have taken their toll. The flowers look wilted and their color is fading. I finished up watering as the dog finished up his business and went back inside. I sat down on the couch and watched TV. As I sat there my leg, just above my left knee, began to itch. I scratched but it kept itching so I scratched it again and this time I realized it wasn’t itching there was something crawling on me! I thought about jumping up but didn’t want to lose whatever it was on the couch or on the floor. I quickly grabbed a napkin and used it to scoop up what I thought had to be a spider. After catching it I went to the kitchen where the light was better and slowly opened up the napkin and found a baby bumblebee inside. It wasn’t scary or aggressive it was there in the napkin and began buzzing. I took it outside and let it go hoping it would be able to find its way back to wherever it came from.

Life comes full circle. Last week I wrote about a dying adult bumblebee which still had enough life in it to sting me when I accidentally stepped on it. This week it was a baby bumblebee beginning its journey. Since the beginning of this week, I’ve read announcements of births and deaths on social media sites from people I know. I talked with a friend last night who mentioned the daylight is already getting noticeably shorter.

Often it’s the little things that remind us the seasons of life keep moving and we’re passengers along for the ride.

For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit:
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

Three Surpises

Image result for heaven

Three Surprises

In a recent conversation that included a range of topics including heaven, I told a friend what had been said to me many years ago. “There will be three surprises when we get to heaven. People will be surprised who made it. People will be surprised who didn’t make it. Lastly, people will be surprised we made it!” It’s a humorous yet true statement about the afterlife and Heaven’s membership. There will be surprises aplenty so don’t be so convinced in your beliefs, ability, and acceptability that you lose the mystery of a God who knows more than you, sees more than you, and is bigger than you can imagine. Heaven mirrors God’s nature and love not ours.

Wisdom teaches us that our ways are not God’s ways, our thoughts are not God’s thoughts. In the Benedictine tradition, we are to keep our; “eyes tilted toward the ground.” We are to keep our sin and shortcomings always in front of us. Not as a burden to bear but a constant reminder of God’s goodness and a reason to rejoice.

Several years ago I was leading a Bible study and we were talking about God’s grace. I made the statement; “Without God, no matter what we said or did, we had no true goodness or love.” A man in our group spoke up and asked; “If we don’t have anything worth redeeming why does God love us?” “That,’ I answered, ‘is why they call it grace.

For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit:
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

Bad News

Image result for bad news

Bad News

A new pastor, on his first Sunday, preached the sermon and following the dismissal prayer, greeted people at the door as they were leaving. A man in a bright red sports jacket was next in line and before the preacher could say anything he blurted out; “That was a terrible sermon!” Taken aback the pastor tried to figure out his next words but the man left before he could reply. After a while, he noticed the man in the bright red sports jacket in line again. This time he said; “You could not have possibly studied for that message. It was a mess!” Again the pastor was at a loss for words and the man was gone. As the line to meet the new pastor was ending he couldn’t believe the last person in line was the guy in the red sports jacket! “I don’t know if I’ll come back if that’s the best you can do!” Abruptly he walked out the door and this time the pastor watched him get into his car and drive away. The new reverend, obviously shaken by this man’s constant critique saw a group of folks in the foyer, wandered over, and asked’ “What is the deal with the man in the red sports jacket?” “Oh, don’t worry about him replied a parishioner. He only repeats what he hears other people saying.

Bad news. Sometimes we expect it other times it takes us by surprise. No matter who we are, what we do, sooner or later we get bad news. It may be from our spouse, boss, doctor, friend, co-worker, or stranger. The challenge isn’t what to do if bad news comes but when it shows up. Our choices following an announcement of bad tidings are often more important, and have a greater impact, than the news itself. The space in between the news and the choices we make are critical. This is why wisdom, knowledge, peace, acceptance, clarity should be discovered now. When bad news comes chances are you will do what you know and many times the battle is won before the soldier takes the field.

For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit:
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

Recurring Problems

Image result for husky fur chew

Recurring Problems

When our Siberian Husky was young he chewed the fur off of his tail the first time he “casted.” Twice, or more, a year a Siberian Husky will shed its underfur, the bottom coat next to the skin, that allows a Husky to survive in extreme cold. When “casting” happens there’s a lot of scratching and chewing on his part, brushing and grooming on ours. Earlier this summer, for the first time in his life, Trooper contracted fleas. We washed him, sprayed him, brushed him, all in an effort to give him some relief. We were able to rid him of the fleas but washed him and sprayed him too much. This dried out the skin and caused more itching and biting. Earlier this week we noticed he had chewed and licked a bare spot on his back. We asked a specialist about what we could do and they recommended Coconut oil applied to the bare spot which will soothe his skin, stop the itching, and, hopefully, allow him relief and his fur to grow back.

Trooper is thirteen years old and this is the first time he’s done this behavior since he was a few months old. Old patterns of handling problems, challenges, and difficulties die hard. We think we’ve learned and know better only to repeat a negative pattern of behavior. New skills, ways of dealing with life and its ups and downs, good and bad, are necessary if we’re to live life moving forward instead of circling back again and again.

For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit:
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

Hovering

Hovering

This past Wednesday night, on my way home from a Dad’s Community Group, I was lost in thought on a two-lane road headed home. One moment I looked in my rearview mirror and there was nothing the next time a huge, black, Hummer was riding my bumper. I had no idea where it came from but the driver of this large SUV was in a hurry. There was no place for me to move over, nor dotted lines for him to pass. He stayed there in the middle of my rearview mirror hovering like a black cloud. I instantly became anxious. I have a mid-size Nissan Frontier which pales in size to a Hummer. I wasn’t going to slam on my brakes because you never know what’s going to happen when you pit aggression against aggression. I also didn’t want to speed on a windy, country road at sundown. So, I took a breath, accepted there was nothing I could do about this giant vehicle hovering behind me and tried to drive as I normally would. Eventually, the Hummer turned off on a side road and I made it home safely.

I reflected on that Hummer and life. There are times, on our journey, where difficulties, intimidation, challenges appear and hover over us. We try to choose the best way to get away from them but nothing works. Eventually, we accept that we’re going to have to learn to live with this threat to our way of life. We remember to breathe and keep going the best way we know how. Maybe it goes as quickly as it came. Maybe it’s here to stay. Either way, we trust the road, trust ourselves and find our way home.

For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit:
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

Out of Outrage

Image result for georgia aquarium

Out of Outrage

This week I read two articles about people being outraged. One was about the singer, Carrie Underwood, mentioning in a magazine that she was thirty-five years old and that she might be too old for her and her husband to have a lot of children. Fertility rights activists (who knew there was such a thing?) voiced their outrage on Twitter and in other online forums wondering how she could dare make such a statement. The other was about Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson going with his wife and daughter to an aquarium. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and other animal/marine life defenders accused the “Rock” of supporting the harming and captivity of these underwater creatures. Let’s not forget the daily outrage of Trump supporters and never Trump supporters over almost everything the president does or doesn’t do.

Honestly, I need a break. I’m can’t handle all the outrage, negativity, vitriol being spewed out on, it seems, everyone and everything. A woman muses about the difficulty of having a lot of children at her age and a dad spending the day with his family at an aquarium is controversial? It’s as if we are looking for more reasons to be upset and ticked off at things. There are enough bad, evil, wrong, people and events in this world right now that should elicit legitimate outrage. We don’t have to search for more.

If we are outraged at everything then we are outraged at nothing. It is nothing but angry voices screaming at each other and no one hears, nor cares to, what the other is saying. Instead of getting upset and angry about everything, choose what really matters to you and do something about it. If you make a list and a thirty-five-year-old country singer and a movie star are on the top of your list? Maybe you should think harder.

For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit:
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

Playing the Cards You’re Dealt

Playing the Cards You’re Dealt

This video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvECZ_ZXGqs) was amazing. Watching this young woman be given four random notes on index cards and from those notes play an extraordinary piece of improvised musing was marvelous. It makes me wonder about the mystery of the human brain and soul, and its capability for good and bad, right and wrong, positive and negative impact on this world.

While watching I also reflected on the phrase; “playing the cards you’re dealt.” The saying comes from the card game of poker but is applicable to all of life. Life is the dealer and the “cards we’re dealt” or what, where, who, we’re born to and in goes a long way in determining about what our life becomes. How we play those cards, choose to live our life is the way we play our hand. Some that seem to born with all the advantages either use or lose their blessings. While others come into the world with the cards stacked against them turn their lives into miracles.

It’s not the hand you’re dealt but how you play the hand that counts.

For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit:
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

Stepping into the Dark

Image result for dead bumblebee

Stepping Into the Dark

Last night I told Trooper, our Siberian Husky, it was time to go outside before going to bed. He jumped up and headed for the front door. I opened it and then walked to our screen door on the porch to open it. As I was stepping a sudden pain pierced the bottom of the middle of my left foot. At first, I thought it was a rock but the pain increased and I knew something had stung me. I waited for Trooper to come inside and when we got in I told Beth; “I think something bit me!” We looked at the bottom of my foot and sure enough, there was a big, red, raised welt forming. I put some Benadryl cream on the sting and took a couple of pink Benadryl pills and went to bed. My foot and leg were itching and the pain in my foot hadn’t gone away. After a while, I went to sleep and when I woke up this morning to let the dog out there was enough light to see on the porch was a dying bumblebee. I write; “dying” because when I moved it out of the way the stinger was still twitching. Maybe tonight I’ll put on a pair of flip-flops before adventuring out into the dark.

Life is full of surprises. You live it, doing the same things, finding your rhythm, your groove. Everything seems okay until it’s not. All of a sudden there’s shock, pain, uncertainty, life changes and there’s nothing we can do to stop it from happening. However, we can learn, accept, adapt. We can gain wisdom and the ability to be content with the truth that life isn’t predictable. As much as we would like to think we have everything planned, scheduled, organized, we can’t know what’s around the next corner. We are, as always, stepping into the dark.

For more reflections, posts, poems, and writings, please visit:
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

Rainfall

Image result for rain on grass

Rainfall

We need rain! Our grass is turning brown from intense heat and barely any rain the last several weeks. The grass was a beautiful green most of the summer, with showers almost daily, and then not much since mid-July. I have a friend who keeps me informed of their weather and they said its raining almost every day. I asked them to send some our way but that didn’t work. I mowed patches of grass and dirt last Friday and the lack of moisture was noticeable.

I’m curious how in some places they’ve had too much rain and its flooding, in other places like California forest fires rage and they are desperate for it. My friend who’s been getting rain almost every day reminded me of the Biblical statement; “The rain falls on the just and the unjust.” That didn’t help because I don’t know if I’m doing something right or wrong but I’d be happy to change to receive the needed rain.

Like summer droughts our souls are at times parched, cracked from dryness, and we need nourishment to replenish us. A person facing a difficult time asked a question yesterday about burnout and I told them some of my symptoms a few years ago and pointed them to my writings from the last several years as one person’s experience of spiritual drought and emotional barrenness. I hope a post or a poem helps remind them what I have learned; the mountaintop highs and the valley lows are all part of this journey of life. Rain does indeed fall on the just and unjust. Don’t let your desperation for rain, for nourishment, convince you the healing will be quick or easy. Rest. Find peace in the dust and dirt. Trust that it will not be like this forever.

For more posts, reflections, poems and other writings, please visit:
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

Falling

Image result for deep pit

Falling

Last night I had a dream about falling down a bottomless pit. My speed kept increasing and I was doing my best not to hit the walls of the pit and hurt myself. However, as my eyes adjusted to the darkness I could see there were ladders attached to the walls and if I timed it right I could catch a rung and begin climbing out of the pit. I woke up before I had decided to try and catch myself on a ladder or keep falling.

I have a lot of dreams like this one. Dreams of being late to a meeting and not being able to get there. Dreams of having to take a test and never have been in class, the teacher, the other students, the room are all unrecognizable but it’s time for the test. Dreams of being stuck, lost, and a sense of impending doom. I often wake up from these dreams and have no idea where I am. For a fleeting moment, my own home is unfamiliar. It’s always frightening but slowly I remember and things come into focus.

I’ve spoken with my talk therapist about it and it’s not unusual. Having a mental illness that includes a severe anxiety disorder is, in part, living scared. The key is finding my center, relocating my balance and allowing the fear to sometimes leave but most times settle so I can get out of bed and refuse to let it win.

In my dream, I didn’t grab the ladder but right now, at this moment, I know that I am reaching out and that has to be good enough.

For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging

Us and Them?

Image result for us and them

Us and Them?

I was in the checkout line this week behind a Hispanic family; a mom and three children.  Two of the kids were hanging with mom while one was at a bargain bin admiring a bracelet with glass beads. The mother finished checking out, gathered her things and headed for the door. The problem is she forgot a child, the one admiring the bracelet. The cashier caught my eye and said; “You can come up now.” I smiled, gesturing to the girl and quipped; “I don’t think she’s ready.” “Oh. They do that all the time! Forget their children and leave the store. Come on up.” I wasn’t going to push the girl out of the way and so asked her; “Where’s your mom? Did she just go out the doors?” The little one stared at me and I’m not sure she understood what I was saying or was intimidated by a stranger. She moved and I kept my eye on the door while the cashier scanned my items. She continued to insult the mom and lumped all Hispanics together with condescending phrases; “They all do that, don’t care about their children. When I was growing up my mother would’ve never left me. She always knew where we were but they don’t care.” I finished checking out, retrieved my bag and headed out the door. I was annoyed and concerned.

When I got outside I scanned the parking lot for the mom and sure enough, she realized her child was missing and was heading back to the store. My worry dissipated. My annoyance at the cashier persists now as I am writing about it. I don’t understand how a person can casually dismiss an entire race of people. This child with the bracelet, this mom with her hands full, didn’t need judgment. They needed understanding instead of insults, someone to help the mom not forget her most precious cargo. Moms of all races have their hands full. Moms forget. Moms of all nationalities are burdened with remembering all kinds of things and if they are new to the United States of America there’s more she and her family has to deal with in a nation where a growing section of the community is hostile to them.

Instead of a fist offer a hand. Instead of a look of contempt offer empathy. Instead of judgment offer humanity.

For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit
thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

He’s Somebody

Image result for grocery cart parking lot

He’s Somebody

Last week I wrote about replacing grocery store carts in their rightful place even if I wasn’t the one who left it in the middle of a parking lot. (https://thewannabesaint.com/2018/07/26/youre-somebody-2/) This week, same time, same store, same parking lot I had finished buying supplies for a dad’s community group and pushed my grocery cart against the front of my truck. As I unloaded the cart I saw a gentleman, in a car next to me, waiting. When I finished retrieving the items from the cart the man got out of his car and grabbed my cart and began pushing it towards the store’s entrance. I figured he needed the cart and this was easier than getting another one from the cart bin. To my surprise, he wheeled it over to the bin, pushed in the cart, and then went into the store. He was somebody! (see last week’s post in the link above)

It’s striking when we see a wisdom lesson we are learning, or re-learning, put into practice before our eyes by another. It reminds us that the path we walk, though unique to us, is also traveled by others. It’s a paradox but so is truth.

For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings please visit
thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

Observations

Image result for sinking creek sign bridge

Observations

Yesterday, on my way to an evening community group for dads I drove across a bridge with a sign which read; “Sinking Creek Bridge.” I had seen the sign many times but yesterday it hit me that there was a lot of truth in the sign. All creeks, streams, and rivers are beds are sinking. The constant flow of water erodes the rock and sand under it and even though it’s often a slow process there is never a time the stream is the same.

Similarly, life is always changing. We are growing older, time is eroding our bodies every day. We are never the same. We are shaped by experiences and events, formed by nature and nurture, molded by the world’s pressure and it’s power which takes a toll on our lives. I was speaking with a friend this week about traveling back to places we used to live and how nothing is ever the same. Life has a way of uniquely making us and others into people who years ago we might not even recognize.

Like “Sinking Creek” may we all go and grow deeper and find new life and purpose.

For more posts, reading, poems, reflections and other writings, please visit
http://www.thewannabsaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

Wandering

Image result for husky dog ears

Wandering

This afternoon I let our Siberian Husky, Trooper, outside to take care of some business. It didn’t take long but then he started to wander. I’ve noticed over the last few months his hearing is fading. I have to speak loud or clap my hands to get his attention and when he gets too far away he doesn’t hear either. I’m going to have to get into the habit of walking with him, staying close, so when it’s time to come inside he can hear the invitation.

After I brought him in today I reflected on his loss of hearing and the voices I listen to. The world is full of voices, good, bad, and in between. Sometimes it’s hard for me to decide to which one I should listen. I like to think God knows I’m hard of hearing and have a tendency to wander. He isn’t passive or ignorant of my wandering ears and spirits. God understands and stays close so that his still small voice is loud enough to get my attention and be heard.

In a world of noise, his voice brings peace and an invitation home.

For more posts, reflections, poems, and writings please visit
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

Plus One

Image result for  lecture luncheon

Plus One

When I attend a lecture-luncheon I look for two things when choosing my seat. The first is a seat at the edge of a table which helps with my claustrophobia and the second is the middle to back of the room. If I need to get up for any reason I don’t want to block people’s view of the speaker or meander around a bunch of tables to get to my destination.

Today, while attending one of these lecture-luncheons, a woman arrived late picked up a box lunch, and proceeded to find a seat at the back of the room only to spot a friend and then zigzagged around the other attendees, dropping her box lunch in the process, and finally settling at the table closest to the front of the room. She couldn’t have been more of a distraction if she tried! Finding a familiar face was worth the risk.

After all, isn’t that what all of us are seeking? To discover we are not alone.

For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings please visit
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

More than Divides Us

More than Divides Us

Last week I made a political statement on a Facebook post written by a friend. It wasn’t too provocative but certainly made my point. I am always wary of posting political opinions on any social media platform because of how toxic these places have become. It didn’t take long for someone to respond and then another. The second one grabbed my attention and I considered deleting my original post because I didn’t want to be responsible for one more argument about politics on social media. However, to my surprise and joy, the first responder bowed out of the conversation gracefully not wanting it to turn into something nasty and then the second one did the same. It was amazing! Two people expressed their differences of opinions and no one lost their temper, started cursing, accusing, blaming, they simply tipped their hat to the other and that was the end of it.

I still believe that there is more that unites us than divides us. Too often it is forgotten in the heat of the moment, the political battle where one side has to win at the expense of the other. We can have different opinions, worldviews, beliefs, and still be kind and considerate. We just need to listen to our hearts instead of the voices who tell us otherwise.

For more posts, reflections, poems and other writings please visit:
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

Wasted Minds

Wasted Minds

This has been a tumultuous week following the shooting at Parkland High School in Florida. People have chosen sides on the gun debate and have used this tragedy as an example as to why they are on the side of the angels. I’ve seen countless posts about gun rights and gun restrictions. I have posted my opinion on the gun debate on my blog in the last couple of weeks if you care to know where I stand on this cultural, moral and spiritual issue. Everyone has their argument at the ready. They grab screenshots, tweet, put a photo on Instagram, use memes, videos and Facebook are so full of posts on the issue it’s hard to find anything else.

I think it’s an issue which needs many conversations. There’s not an easy solution and anyone who thinks there is hasn’t thought about it enough. What doesn’t need to happen is more arguing over the subject. We are a divided people in our country and it seems every “Breaking News” headline on whatever channel we watch, or website we read, erodes our relationships with those with differing views more.

Whatever side we’re on, opinion we possess, idea we espouse, we should also respect and love our neighbor.  If we can’t then our voice is wasted, nothing changes and the world continues to go to hell.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

One Thought

Image result for zen thought of the day

One Thought

Yesterday, a friend wrote on her Facebook page, to make sure you spell check political posts before putting them out there for the world to see. I commented snarkily; “How about not posting them at all?” To be honest, I grow tired of the division the current administration and media seems to thrive on and more tired of friends and family, people I love, choosing sides against one another.

Social media can be a great way to keep in contact with folks down the block and across the nation and world. It can be immensely helpful by giving people an opportunity to supply aid when natural disasters strike and notifying users around the world of prayer needs. I use social media for all of these things plus writing my blog. However, over the last year, there has been a noticeable trend towards nasty, mean and downright hateful posts and replies.

When I counsel men and couples on getting along with each other one of the disciplines I teach is the; “The Space in Between.” It is the understanding that between the action and reaction is a space. In this space, we decide how we are going to react and which consequences will come as a result. “The greater the space in between the better the chance of a good decision with positive outcomes. The shorter the space in between the better chance of making a bad decision with negative outcomes.

When it comes to social media I wonder if we shouldn’t reflect on the question; “Will this help? Build up? Bring people closer?

“No one regrets a harsh word unspoken.” -#Wisdom #Proverb

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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