No Matter How Slow –
My pickup truck was full and almost overflowing today on the way to the county dump. I drove slowly for fear of losing some of my load and hoped no one in a hurry came zooming up behind me. The nearest refuse and recycling center is only three miles from our house but it took an extra long time to get there. As I kept one eye on the road and the other on the junk in the bed of the truck I reflected on things in our life that we need to get rid of that slow us down on our journey of life.
There’s something about going to the dump that’s cathartic. As I kept one eye on the road and the other on the junk in the bed of the truck I reflected on things in our life that we need to get rid of that slow us down on our journey of life. The hurts, habits, hangups, shallowness, selfishness, sinfulness we all have and need to unload so we can navigate our way to grace, love, peace, kindness, acceptance and contentment. Our human drive for perfection tries to convince us that we get rid of the refuse as quickly as possible but most times it doesn’t work that way and we must carry parts of our load longer than we’d prefer.
When I arrived at the center the gates were closed and they were changing out the large canister where I needed to put my junk. I waited and waited for almost thirty minutes. Finally, the center reopened and I was able to unload. As I threw away the last of the unwanted stuff and hopped back in the truck it was a relief to not have to go so slow, worry about the extra stuff and made it home much faster.
Plato teaches; “never judge another’s progress, no matter how slowly.” I like this quote, especially on days when the going is slow, the delays are many and the junk keeps piling up.
He sat a few feet from me and I watched as tears began to fill his eyes. It dawned on him, perhaps for the first time, the sum of his actions, words, thoughts and the effect they had upon his family. He had been so wrapped up in trying to control situations and people that he didn’t realize how many things had slipped from his grasp. Now, in a time of crisis and questioning, of rejection and regret he understood. Silence filled the space between us and I waited as he composed himself enough to speak. Until this point disappointments, difficulties and despair had been things which were outside of him, people and events were to blame. Now, he realized he was the designer of his own defeat, a victim of his own ego and self obsession.
It’s never easy to achieve and sustain self-awareness. There are moments when we see ourselves for who we really are; the weakness, selfishness and shallowness. The cold reality sets in and we often reach for the blanket of judgement and justification to stave off the chill. To recognize our real selves, to accept the imperfections, insecurities and insatiable desire to control, coerce and craft others and the world in our image is the most humbling and hurtful lesson to learn.
When we arrive at this place of suffering do we choose to find relief by reconstructing the illusion or embrace the brokenness as healing?