“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.” – T. E. Lawrence

I didn’t sleep well last night and woke up singing “The River of Dreams” by Billy Joel. I’m not sure how the song became lodged in my brain or the last time I remember hearing it but there it was and stayed all day long. When a song decides to take up residence in my noggin I usually find it online, listen to it and forget about it. Not today. Even after several times it refused to be evicted.

I began thinking maybe there was a reason it wasn’t budging. As I stopped doing other things, and really listened, it spoke on a deep, spiritual level to me. The song is about a man searching for meaning. His search has him walking in darkness, descending mountains of faith, through jungles of doubt, across deserts of truth hoping;

“to finally find what he’s been looking for.”

“I don’t know why I go walking at night But now I’m tired and I don’t want to walk anymore I hope it doesn’t take the rest of my life Until I find what it is that I’ve been looking for.”

As the lyrics of this song permeated my being I noticed my melancholy mood. Part of it was the low hanging gray clouds and rain, also my lack of sleep but even more so it was discouragement. I was sharing with a friend on Monday a feeling of life being log jammed. Being in transition can be a difficult part of the path to navigate and when you are waiting for something to happen, anything, to give you a sense of direction, it can be discouraging. Similar to the man, walking in the middle of the night, wondering how long it will take to find what I’m “searching for.”

After lunch I took a nap. When I woke up the song was still banging around in my head. I decided to take the Husky for a run. Taking my mp3 player with me, I put the song on repeat and kept reflecting on it. It was overcast but at one point, rounding a curve, while I was lost in the song, the sun broke through the clouds and shone into my soul.

“Only be seen by the eyes of the blind.”

The light reminded me there are times we must walk “in the middle of the night” and finding our way isn’t done with physical or intellectual eyes. We must surrender and be carried along by something other, something greater.

“I go walking in the middle of the…”

The end of the song keeps repeating “I go walking in the middle of the night…” Yesterday I was talking with someone about life and its challenges. We both agreed there are many times when you might not know where you are going but you keep walking, one step, one day, at a time.

in the middle of the night,

bdl

“Contentment is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.” –Thomas Merton

I am not what most people call “musically inclined.” I can’t sing, except in the shower, can’t dance, unless no one is watching, I can, however, keep a beat, clap on time, I have a little rhythm.

I’ve attended many concerts, swaying to the songs, singing along with the artists, enjoying the music as it absorbs the crowd.  I’ve also been next to someone who can’t keep rhythm, clap on the beat or sing the right words. It can be funny, annoying, and distracting. The urge to assist them in keeping time, clapping their hands with the beat, singing the correct words, to get it “right” can be overwhelming.

“As you begin to realize that every different type of music, everybody’s individual music, has its own rhythm, life, language and heritage, you realize how life changes, and you learn how to be more open and adaptive to what is around us.” Yo-Yo Ma

What’s interesting is many times these rhythm rebels do not realize they are off. They are enjoying themselves, singing along, clapping their hands and oblivious to being out of step. After all, isn’t the purpose to be swept up in the music? If you stay focused on them, and their seeming lack of rhythm, you miss the music which is meant for both of you.

“Music creates order out of chaos: for rhythm imposes unanimity upon the divergent, melody imposes continuity upon the disjointed, and harmony imposes compatibility upon the incongruous.” –Yehudi Menuhin

It can be a revelation to go to a concert of a favorite band or singer and see fans who are very unlike you. Music doesn’t know gender, color, age, economics, religion or politics, it simply reaches out and draws in folks from all types of backgrounds, cultures and persuasions.

“Now this is very profound, what rhythm is, and goes far deeper than words. A sight, an emotion, creates this wave in the mind, long before it makes words to fit it …”  –Virginia Woolf

___

“There is music in the cacophony of life.” –Saru Singhal

Humankind is invited to be participants in a great concert. In the depths of our souls there is a rhythm, a song. A place which sings a melody mystics, contemplatives, saints and sojourners have danced to since the beginning of humankind’s journey on this grain of sand in the universe’s boundless shore.

Will we be swayed by the music? Dance to the rhythm? Or be distracted?

May we each be quiet enough to hear and still enough to dance,

blessings,

bdl

“Finally, everybody agrees that no one pursuit can be successfully followed by one who is preoccupied with many things—eloquence cannot, nor the liberal studies—since the mind, when distracted, takes in nothing very deeply, but rejects everything that is, as it were, crammed into it. There is nothing the busy person is less busied with than living: there is nothing that is harder to learn.” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Yesterday was busy! Too busy! Each year we offer a safe place for families to visit on Halloween. We don’t blow the place out. A few carnival games, lots of candy, cupcakes, cookies, hot cocoa and socializing. Many of the folks in the neighborhoods surrounding our campus stop in for a few moments before making their rounds to the other sugar pushers in the area.

Each year, as in life, something unplanned happens. This time our games were missing, gone from their usual storage spot. We looked everywhere with nothing to show for it. So, with only 2 hours before the event started, we had to come up with new games from scratch! It was quite the adventure but everything worked out great.

Arriving home last night I was physically and mentally exhausted. Finding new games, setting everything up, getting to know new people, kids running everywhere, jumping from game to game, person to person, being many things to many people, and finally tearing everything down sapped me.

“Full minds create chaos.” –David W. Jones

The chaos of the evening had taken its toll. I quietly ate my dinner, kissed my wife goodnight, and went to bed. This morning, and most of the day, my mind has been subdued. Thankfully the house has been quiet. I had a nap, did some light reading and the evening holds the promise of more blessed silence.

“Needs multiply as they are met. Woe to the man who would live a disentangled life. Be on guard, my soul, of complicating your environment so that you have neither time nor room for growth.” –Elisabeth Elliot

Life is so busy! We jump from job to family, school to hobbies, spouses to kids, errands to emergencies without a moment to rest, reflect and rejuvenate. How quickly we forget life happens while we’re rushing to our next appointment.

Finding time for blessed silence in a life that keeps us hopping is complicated. During all the activity, it’s prudent to ask ourselves, “these things which have me jumping, will they bring me, others, to a place of inner stillness?” The answer can be “yes.” If our agendas are planned with purpose and clarity, serenity certainly can be achieved. However, if the question isn’t asked we can’t know the answer.

To know the voice of stillness in the chaos of life, to recognize its song amidst the cacophony of other voices is to be guided on the true path for our lives.

“Whenever there is stillness there is the still small voice, God‘s speaking from the whirlwind, nature’s old song, and dance…” –Annie Dillard

“May each of us find that place where silence is heard, stillness moves us, and peace overwhelms” –Brian Loging

blessings,

bdl