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Mush

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Mush –

My brain has officially turned to mush! After two full days of training in Nashville, my head organ can take no more! It is full of pieces of information, stories, facts, figures, graphs, bars, charts and more. I know in a few days when everything I received processes everything it will be worth the mental fatigue but right now it’s like my brain is in a blender set on high. My eyes are heavy from lack of sleep, my back hurts from sitting for two straight days in a non-reclining chair, my stomach hungry for homemade food and nothing pre-packaged. It’s amazing, or horrifying, that your body, mind, and spirit can be so out of sync after a couple of days.

This morning, on my way into Nashville, I listened to a prayer app and it has a time, after the invitation to pray, to pause and be silent. As silence filled the car I thought about how disjointed I felt, vowed to never work in Nashville and drive into the city every day, reflected on the difference between a room full of forty people plus four teachers and the quietude of the moment and then the app started playing scripture. I wasn’t ready for the noise. I said out loud; “Not long enough!”, then sighed and continued.

Silence is underrated.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Sunshine

Mar 31

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Sunshine –

Yesterday evening Beth and I went out to eat. I was coming from home and she was coming from work. I arrived first and registered our name with the hostess. The inside lobby was packed and so I went and sat in the lobby located next to the front doors. I sat down, whipped out my phone and found a news article to read. Across from me was a precocious young girl saying; “Hi” to everyone who came in. She wobbled over to the bench I was on and said; “Hi” to me. I looked away from my phone and returned her salutation. She was playfully climbing on the bench and I went back to reading. After a few moments, she was sitting next to me and I reflected on my behavior. This wonderful little child, a social butterfly in the making, was sitting next to me and I was focused on my phone, not on her. I turned the phone off and put it in my pocket. “How are you today?” I asked. “Fine, she replied, how are you today?” “Good. Is that the sun on your shirt?” “Yes.” “Did you have a good day?” I inquired. “Yes. Did you have a good day?” she responded. We went back and forth until they called the name she was registered under and we said our “goodbyes.”

I am thankful for the awareness in that moment to put away all distractions and bask in an actual ray of sun shining in my life.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: # moments, #actual, #awareness, #away, #backandforth, #bask, #behavior, #blessings, #butterfly, #child, #climbing, #distractions, #focused, #found, #girl, #Goodbyes, #Hi, #inquired, #life, #little, #looked, #next, #phone, #phoneoff, #playfully, #precocious, #putaway, #ray, #reading, #reflected, #responded, #returned, #salutation, #shining, #Sitting, #situation, #social, #sun, #Sunshine, #thankful, #thewannabesaint.com, #turned, #whipped, #wobbled, #wonderful, #young, @BrianLoging, moment

Blue

Mar 9

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Blue –

Everyone has a bad day once in a while. Mine was today. It started this morning and lasted all day. It was a bad day for decisions, conversations, yard working and everything else I tried. Finally, this evening, sitting in the yard of a friend, reflecting on this terrible, bad, no good day, a Bluebird landed on a branch not far from where I was sitting. I watched it. I would love to write it turned my whole day around but it didn’t. It did, however, impress me with its shade of blue. Beautiful. It was especially gorgeous against the brown yard and my dark mood. It was a reminder of spring, newness, and rebirth. I stared at it and the simple, obvious thought; “tomorrow is a new day,” echoed in my mind and spirit. I couldn’t argue with the Bluebird and as it flew off I was thankful this day was also quickly fleeting and the next one will be arriving shortly.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #allday, #arriving, #bad, #badday, #beautiful, #blessings, #blue, #bluebird, #brownyard, #conversations, #dark, #darkmood, #day, #decisions, #echoed, #especially, #evening, #far, #Finally, #fleeting, #flew, #friend, #gorgeous, #Impress, #landed, #lasted, #mine, #mood, #morning, #newday, #newness, #next, #nogood, #obvious, #Off, #quickly, #rebirth, #reflecting, #reminder, #shade, #shortly, #simple, #Sitting, #spirit, #spring, #stared, #started, #terrible, #thankful, #thewannabesaint.com, #today, #tomorrow, #tried, #turned, #watched, #while, #wholeday, #yardworking, @BrianLoging, love, Mind, Thought, Write

What’s in a Day?

Feb 21

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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What’s in a Day? –

I was once asked by someone; “What do you want to do with your life? What are your plans for the future?” I was sitting outside, leaned back and thought for a moment and then surprising my interrogator and myself replied; “I’m doing it. I am content. I have no more plans.” My friend didn’t like my answer because everyone should have something they are striving for. How else can you measure life unless it’s by your accomplishments? As a contemplative wisdom teaches that days are measured by the moments when you are aware of your connectedness to all living things and that the universe is in every experience.

What would you do if today were your last? Martin Luther is reputed to have said, “If I knew the world would end tomorrow, I would plant a tree.” In other words, I would contribute to the beauty of the world and thus the universe. As Marcus Aurelius states in the quote, I would want to live my last day as I hope to live every day; “without frenzy, without apathy, without pretense.”

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Tags: # moments, #accomplishments, #answer, #apathy, #asked, #aware, #blessings, #connectedness, #content, #contribute, #day, #end, #experience, #frenzy, #Future, #hope, #interrogator, #last, #lastday, #leaned, #life, #live, #livingthings, #MarcusAurelius, #MartinLuther, #measure, #measured, #nomoreplans, #outside, #Plans, #pretense, #quote, #reputed, #Sitting, #states, #striving, #surprising, #teaches, #today, #tomorrow, #universe, #wisdom, #without, beauty, Contemplative, moment, Plant, Thought, Tree, World

Tethered

Feb 11

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Tethered –

This morning in church we were finishing a song and the song leader asked us to be seated. Beth had on a beautiful gray, black and white scarf wrapped around her neck and as we were sitting it ended up between the person and seat back of the pew in front of us. Beth was sitting and all a sudden the scarf now pressed into the pew by the woman couldn’t sit back she was stuck, tethered to someone we didn’t know. The situation was absurd and funny and we both got the giggles. I reached over to pull it from between the woman and pew and realized there was a lot of scarf to retrieve. Luckily, we weren’t seated for long and we stood back up expecting the woman to do the same. Unfortunately, she didn’t. Argh! Beth then began to pull the scarf little by little until, finally, she had freed herself and was careful not to lean too far forward again.

In life, there are times we find ourselves tethered to someone or a group that chokes the life out of us. We might not notice it at first but sooner or later we find we must be free or suffer. Cutting the cord, letting go, escaping from a toxic relationship is hard but it is better than the life being pulled out of us.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #absurd, #Argh, #around, #asked, #back, #beautiful, #better, #between, #blessings, #careful, #chokes, #cord, #Cutting, #ended, #escaping, #expecting, #far, #find, #finishing, #first, #forward, #freed, #front, #funny, #giggles, #hard, #later, #lean, #lettinggo, #life, #littlebylittle, #long, #morning, #neck, #notice, #over, #pressed, #pull, #pulled, #reached, #realized, #retrieve, #seated, #sit, #Sitting, #situation, #sooner, #stood, #stuck, #sudden, #suffer, #Tethered, #toxic, #unfortunately, #up, #wrapped, church, Free, Relationship

Sharp

Feb 10

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Sharp –

Today is a wonderful, relaxing, rainy Saturday. A day where the tin roof on the porch sings; “Rest, take it easy, don’t worry about what can’t be done. Just be.” It’s the kind of day we all need more than “once in a while.” We’ve lost the art of powering down, putting off things until tomorrow, sitting and letting go of schedules, to-do lists, and allowing our spirits, minds, emotions, and bodies to heal, recover from the hurry, harried pace of our lives.

“Staying constantly sharpened can wear out the blade.” Wisdom teaches us to wait, enjoy the serenity, like a leaf in a slow-moving part of the stream. Sooner or later the pace picks up and life starts to quicken but for now, in this moment, simply soak in the stillness.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness, Wisdom, Wisdom Quotes

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Tags: #allowing, #blade, #blessings, #bodies, #constantly, #down, #easy, #emotions, #enjoy, #harried, #heal, #hurry, #Justbe, #kind, #later, #leaf, #lettinggo, #life, #lists, #lives, #lost, #minds, #more, #need, #now, #onceinawhile, #pace, #picksup, #porch, #powering, #puttingoff, #quicken, #rainy, #recover, #relaxation, #relaxing, #rest, #schedules, #sharp, #sharpened, #sings, #Sitting, #slow-moving, #soakin, #soakup, #sooner, #spirits, #starts, #Staying, #stream, #teaches, #thismoment, #tinroof, #to-do, #today, #tomorrow, #wait, #wearout, #wisdom, #wonderful, #worry, Art, Stillness

Grounded, Simple, Generous, Controlled, Joyful, Present

Jan 28

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Grounded, Simple, Generous, Controlled, Joyful, Present –

The contemplative life isn’t hard to understand. Most of the teachings can be learned in a day but they offer a lifetime of wisdom.

A few moments ago I was sitting on the porch basking in the sun. It was wonderful. I had brought my phone with me but not sure why. I laid it down beside me and closed my eyes. It’s warm for the month of January. Yesterday it was cloudy and cool but in that present moment of sitting on the porch, the skies were a brilliant blue. Our Siberian Husky was sprawled out on the driveway, not a care in the world. As I embraced the beauty and warmth my attention kept going to the phone. I knew there wasn’t anything on it I needed to read or respond to but the fact it was there distracted me.

This is why simplicity is important in the contemplative life. Everything we own, invest our ourselves in, give our passion, energy and time takes a piece of us. The more we have in our lives the less contemplative we are able to be. Letting go of all that is superfluous allows us to focus on what’s important while the fluff floats away.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Contemplative

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Tags: # moments, #able, #ago, #allows, #attention, #basking, #beside, #blessings, #brilliant, #careintheworld, #closed, #contemplatives, #controlled, #distracted, #embraced, #eyes, #fact, #floats, #fluff, #focus, #Generous, #give, #going, #grounded, #hard, #Husky, #important, #invest, #Joyful, #laid, #learned, #less, #lettinggo, #life, #lifetime, #month, #more, #needed, #offer, #ourselves, #own, #passion, #phone, #piece, #present, #read, #respond, #Siberian, #simple, #Sitting, #skies, #sprawled, #superfluous, #teachings, #time, #understand, #warm, #wisdom, #wonderful, beauty, Contemplative, Energy, moment, simplicity

The River

Jan 13

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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The River –

“Imagine yourself sitting on the bank of a river. The river is your stream of consciousness. Observe each of your thoughts coming along as if they’re saying, “Think me, think me.” Watch your feelings come by saying, “Feel me, feel me.” Acknowledge that you’re having the feeling or thought. Don’t hate it, judge it, critique it, or move against it. Simply name it: “resentment toward so and so,” “a thought about such and such.” Then place it on a boat and let it go down the river. When another thought arises—as no doubt it will—welcome it and let it go, returning to your inner watch place on the bank of the river.”
#ThomasKeating, “Open Mind, Open Heart: The Contemplative Dimension of the Gospel”

One of the greatest and most difficult realizations is the truth that we are not our thoughts. We are not our actions. We are not our egos. True, each of these can reveal things about us and to the world but we are not these things.

The problem is we’ve been taught the opposite most of our lives. The famous quote; “Reap a thought, a word, an action, then a destiny,” seems right but our thoughts do not have to lead us to who we ultimately become. We can choose to go deeper, change paths, refuse to be captive to our thoughts by breaking free of them.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Contemplative, Contemplative Quotes, Life

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Caged

Jan 8

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Caged –

He paced back and forth like a caged tiger. I watched him as he went side to side, back to front. At first, he was on a phone call and then afterwards he continued his anxious pacing. I was sitting, waiting, in a room at our county jail which was mostly glass facing the pacing man. I knew what he was feeling because I was struggling with the same anxiety. My classroom wasn’t ready and I was asked to stay in one room until the other one was available. Inside I felt emotionally restless, ready to go, get the class underway.

However, unlike the man pacing back and forth, I noticed what I was doing and took a breath. I folded my hands together placed them on my knees, inhaled and exhaled again. When I was allowed into the classroom I was no longer anxious but settled. I organized the chairs, wrote my notes on the dry-erase board as the men began to come in and find their seats. A worker from the jail checked in to see if everything was okay and I assured her it was. She apologized for the wait. “That’s okay,’ I replied, ‘sometimes having nothing to do, being forced to wait is exactly what we need.”

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life, Mental Health

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Tags: ##struggling, #Afterwards, #allowed, #anxiety, #anxious, #apologized, #asked, #assured, #available, #back, #blessings, #Caged, #call, #checked, #classroom, #continued, #emotionally, #exhaled, #facing, #feeling, #first, #folded, #forced, #forth, #front, #hands, #inhaled, #inside, #need, #nolonger, #nothing, #noticed, #organized, #paced, #pacing, #phone, #readytogo, #restless, #settled, #side, #Sitting, #tiger, #underway, #wait, #waiting, #watched, breath

Stuck

Jan 2

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Stuck –

This morning my wife had to be at work early. She’s not a morning person so when this happens I try to stay out of the way! After she left I was about to make some coffee when the phone rang. It was Beth frantically telling me that a couple of miles down the road a horse had fallen into a mostly frozen pond and would I do something? “Uh, sure?” I answered. I hopped in the truck, which was very cold inside and out, and drove down the road until I spotted it. Sure enough, there was the poor animal front half end above the ice and it’s back completely submerged. The question quickly became; “What do I do?” The field with the pond and the horse has no house near it. There are a row of houses on the other side but no way to tell which one, if any, owned the horses and/or the field. There were vehicles behind me so I pulled off the road. Feeling helpless and unsure I dialed 911 hoping they would be able to do something or point me in the right direction. A man answered the phone and I told him the story. I gave him the address of the house immediately across the road from the stuck horse and he said help would be on the way. I couldn’t stay where I was parked and the field had no gates to drive through so I trusted the man on the phone and went home.

Sitting here this evening I don’t know what happened to the horse. It wasn’t moving when I called the emergency number and I don’t have any idea how long it was stuck in the ice and freezing water. I hope it will be okay. I hope the help got there in time. I hope someone who could do something got it unstuck and it, along with the other horses, will stay away from the pond until it warms up.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #911, #above, #animal, #answered, #backend, #blessings, #completely, #dialed, #direction, #end, #fallen, #feeling, #frantically, #front, #frozen, #half, #happened, #help, #helpless, #hoping, #horse, #ice, #idea, #immediately, #long, #morning, #moving, #okay, #owned, #parked, #point, #pond, #poor, #pulled, #question, #quickly, #right, #road, #Sitting, #spotted, #stay, #stuck, #submerged, #time, #trusted, #unstuck, #unsure, #way, #WhatdoIdo, Home

TheWannabeSaint.com

…..a place for sojourners on this spiritual path called life

Blog Archives

Mush

Blue

What’s in a Day?

Tethered

Sharp

Grounded, Simple, Generous, Controlled, Joyful, Present

The River

Caged

Stuck

Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

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…..a place for sojourners on this spiritual path called life

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Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

Recent Articles

Selected Poems

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