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Forgetfulness

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Forgetfulness –

He forgot! That was his excuse, his reason for not being in the place he told me he’d be. I was on time, early actually, and waited. After a while, I began to wonder if I got the date wrong so I checked my phone calendar and I was on time, in the right place. Several moments passed and I texted him and waited. After a while, a text came back which read; “I’m sorry! We won’t be able to meet tonight. I told others and forgot to tell you.” I took a deep breath as frustration washed over me but didn’t last long. He forgot. I forget. There are times I’ve missed appointments and have let someone down. He didn’t do it on purpose. I knew him well enough to know he would’ve told me if he had remembered. I turned the key to my truck, put it in drive and left for home. Soon I was lost in thought driving down a road and had forgotten the whole situation. The next day he was in contact with me again trying to make things right. There wasn’t anything wrong. He had forgotten, I knew how he felt, and I’d moved on as did he.

People make mistakes. No one is perfect and yet sometimes we beat ourselves up or others for making mistakes. If we are honest we know mistakes happen and will keep happening. We do our best not to make them often and forgive others as, hopefully, they have and will forgive us.

For more reflections, posts, and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

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Make Sure the Water’s Deep Enough

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Make Sure the Water’s Deep Enough –

In a conversation this week I heard someone say; “Make sure the water’s deep enough before you jump off the bridge.” I hadn’t heard this saying before and found it interesting. It seems to be about planning, understanding, knowledge of a situation before you choose a course of action. As I reflected on it I also thought of NOT knowing how deep the water is before jumping. Maybe it’s deep enough, maybe it isn’t, but once a person decides to jump it’s too late to change one’s mind.

Wisdom tells us the key to gaining wisdom is knowing you know nothing. It’s a paradox. Obviously there are things we know but we approach wisdom with humility understanding whatever our wisdom level might be we are still not wise compared to knowing all things as they truly are and exist. There are bridges we can jump off of with confidence, others where we know not to jump, and there will always be bridges when we risk jumping or choose another way.

Sometimes its only after we jump into the unknown that we find the water is more than deep enough and wisdom reminds us again how much we still have to learn.

For more posts, reflections and other writings please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

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Tags: # understanding, #afterwejump, #approachwisdom, #before, #blessings, #bridge, #Choose, #chooseanotherway, #compared, #confidence, #courseofaction, #decides, #deep, #deepenough, #enough, #exist, #gainingwisdom, #humility, #interesting, #jump, #jumping, #key, #knowing, #knowledge, #learn, #level, #NOTknowing, #notwise, #paradox, #planning, #posts, #reflected, #reflections, #risk, #situation, #toolatetochange, #truly, #unknown, #water, #wisdom, #wisdomreminds, #www.thewannabesaint.com, #youknownothing, @BrianLoging, Mind, Writings

To Think

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To Think –

I am currently teaching a men’s class on Wednesday evenings in a city that’s an hour away from home. This means on Wednesday afternoon and evening I have a bit of time on my hands. I spent most of it yesterday talking with fathers on the phone. A couple of hours to myself gives me time to think about my day, week, schedule and the materials I will be teaching and how the class went on the way back.

Thinking is a balancing act for someone like me with a Severe Anxiety Disorder. If I’m not careful thinking can turn to rumination and going over and over a situation, interaction, occasion in my mind. I described it one time to my therapist; “My over-thinking is like bubblegum. You chew on it and for a while, you get something tasty. Soon, however, all the flavor is gone and you’re chewing a piece of wet rubber.” I try to be aware of my thoughts and if I’m fixating on a particular subject. When I catch myself I turn on the radio, a podcast or music.

Wisdom tells us; “We cannot stop thoughts from entering the door of our minds
but we do not have to serve them tea.“

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #aware, #balancingact, #bitoftime, #blessings, #cannotstop, #catchmyself, #currently, #entering, #fixating, #goingover, #interaction, #notcareful, #occasion, #ourminds, #over-thinking, #Rumination, #SevereAnxietyDisorder, #situation, #teaching, #therapist, #thewannabesaint.com, #think, #thinking, #timetothink, #tomyself, #wisdom, @BrianLoging, Mind, Thoughts

Other People’s Drama

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Other People’s Drama –

At one time during my adult years, I came across a quote that read; “An emergency on your part does not constitute a crisis on mine.” I don’t remember where it was but the quote has stuck with me.

There can be an almost irresistible draw when someone has a juicy piece of gossip or wants your opinion about a situation they’re facing. Before you offer your “two-cents” remember that once you pass through that door, enter yourself into other people’s drama, it may be impossible to get out. A couple of weeks ago I had a friend who was starting through the drama door and I reminded them; “make sure its worth it.”

The main issue with other people’s drama is there’s often a side to take, a team to join. This is usually the reason a person tells you about issues and problems in the first place. They want you in their corner. We puff ourselves up thinking; “They need our help. Our advice. Our support.” However, what they mostly want is someone to affirm them in the decisions they’ve already made.

I’m not telling people to not listen, empathize with others who need help, a willing ear or even a hand to pull them up but to understand that sometimes what people want and need are completely different things. Be aware and wary.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #affirmthem, #almostimpossible, #awareness, #blessings, #completelydifferent, #crisis, #drama, #dramadoor, #emergency, #empathize, #getout, #hand, #inthefirstplace, #irresistible, #juicypieceofgossip, #lives, #mainissue, #makesureitsworthit, #needhelp, #notlisten, #offer, #OtherPeoplesDrama, #ouradvice, #ourhelp, #oursupport, #passthroughthatdoor, #peoples, #puffourselvesup, #pullthemup, #quote, #reminded, #sidetotake, #situation, #starting, #stuckwithme, #teamtojoin, #theircorner, #thewannabesaint.com, #theyvealreadymade, #thinking, #two-cents, #wantandneed, #willingear, @BrianLoging, Listen, Opinion

Part of the Journey

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Part of the Journey –

This morning, driving down the interstate, I witnessed two aftermaths of car accidents. The first one was a car that had gone off the highway, up a hill, crashing into a big road sign. There was police personnel on the scene frantically trying to get the doors of the car open to attend to the injured. Not too many miles and minutes later I saw two Fire Department trucks crossing an overhead bridge and taking an on-ramp to the interstate. My question as to “why?” was answered a mile or two up the road when I spotted a pick-up truck, sitting on the side of the road, engulfed in fire! There was no one in the truck but the flames were high, bright orange and the situation was becoming dangerous.

Aside from praying for those involved, I reflected on the reality that none of the people involved, especially the drivers and passengers, woke up this morning and had these incidents on their agenda. I wondered how far down the list of “ways this day would go” until they got to these experiences.

Wisdom teaches that we cannot know or determine what we will encounter on the road of life. There are days when everything works out perfectly. Others when everything seems to go wrong. Most days are somewhere in the middle. No matter what happens, however, we are taught, and hopefully, learn to accept, it’s all part of the journey.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #accept, #accidents, #agenda, #answered, #attend, #becoming, #blessings, #bridge, #crashing, #crossing, #dangerous, #determine, #encounter, #experiences, #frantically, #happens, #hopefully, #incidents, #injured, #involved, #journey, #learn, #middle, #open, #part, #particular, #PartoftheJourney, #perfectly, #praying, #question, #reality, #reflected, #roadoflife, #situation, #taught, #teaches, #thewannabesaint.com, #trying, #why, #wisdom, #witnessed, #woke, #wondered, #wrong, @BrianLoging, People

Starting Over

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Starting Over –

I was speaking with a friend this week who struggles with anger. We were trying to figure out how to take a breath before responding to a situation or a person who triggers his angry responses. We talked about tricks and tips to get him to breathe in fully and exhale before whatever words were forming on his tongue. I told him; “At that moment think, see with your mind what the consequences of your words are going to be.” It’s the discipline of ‘the space in between.’ The greater the space in between the stimuli and the response the better. Take time to think, to breathe, there is healing, understanding, awareness, and acceptance in that moment. Use it.”

With each breath is a new beginning, a starting over, an opportunity to live and give life.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: # understanding, #acceptance, #anger, #angryresponses, #awareness, #before, #better, #between, #blessings, #consequences, #discipline, #figureout, #forming, #friend, #fully, #givelife, #greater, #healing, #live, #newbeginning, #opportunity, #over, #person, #remember, #responding, #response, #see, #situation, #space, #starting, #StartingOver, #stimuli, #struggles, #Thespaceinbetween, #thewannabesaint.com, #think, #time, #tongue, #tricksandtips, #triggers, #words, @BrianLoging, breath, breathe, exhale, Mind, moment

Elephant in the Room

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Elephant in the Room –

I was talking with someone earlier this week about a situation he is experiencing. He is forced to make a choice between one thing and another. It’s not a choice he doesn’t want to make. As he belabored the unjustness of the decision, listing the pros and cons, complaining about the consequences of each side of the coin, I asked him a simple question. “What’s the elephant in the room?” He paused and reflected. “What do you mean?” he inquired. “Dig deeper, past the choice and the consequences, what’s the reason you’re having to make this decision?” He was quiet, then took a deep breath and answered. He had clarity. Like a man in a cloudy stream, only when his mind was still, did the water clear.

I once had a co-worker whose personality and mine didn’t click. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It’s the way it is sometimes. He was in charge of employee evaluations. When we met in his office he read over my “grades” and was surprised they were all high. “I didn’t expect this!” he exclaimed. I sat there thinking; “You didn’t expect this because I’ve never had issues with anyone or any part of this job. The problem is you don’t like me and this colors everything.” We chatted and then I left thankful for my scores but still burdened by the negative relationship.

Wisdom teaches us to make sure we deal with the thing that matters not everything else.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #answered, #asked, #belabored, #blessings, #burdened, #chatted, #choice, #clarity, #clear, #click, #cloudy, #coin, #colors, #complaining, #consequences, #deal, #decision, #deepbreath, #Digdeeper, #eitherside, #elephant, #ElephantintheRoom, #employee, #encountering, #evaluations, #exclaimed, #expect, #fault, #forced, #inquired, #issues, #listing, #matters, #mean, #paused, #problem, #prosandcons, #question, #quiet, #reason, #reflected, #room, #simple, #situation, #still, #stream, #surprised, #teaches, #thankful, #thewannabesaint.com, #thinking, #unjustness, #wisdom, @BrianLoging, Negative, Personality, Relationship

Hearing is Believing

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Hearing is Believing –

A driver slid off the road during a snowstorm. His cellphone was useless and so he walked until he found a house with an old mule munching on some hay near a barn in the backyard. He knocked on the door of the house and a farmer answered. The man explained his predicament and the farmer said he’d help. The farmer put on a coat, exited the house and walked over to the old mule, put a bridle on it and the three walked back to the car. As they were traveling the driver of the car wondered if the old mule could be of much help. They arrived back at the car and the farmer turned the mule around, attached the rope it carried to the car and to the mule and began yelling; “Go, Joe, go, Fred, go, Jim, go Barney!” The old mule pulled as hard as it could and the car slowly came out of the ditch and back on the road. The driver was amazed and thanked the farmer profusely! Before he drove off he had one question he had to ask the farmer. “Why,’ he inquired, ‘when the mule was pulling the car, did you yell; Go, Joe, go, Fred, go, Jim, go Barney?” “Well,’ replied the old farmer scratching his chin and then petting the mule. ‘Ol’ Barney here doesn’t see too good and I knew if he thought he was pulling by himself he’d never believe he could do it. So, I made him think he was on a team so he’d have the confidence he needed to get the job done.”

Wisdom teaches us that we are never alone. Whatever the situation, it is never so dire that whether we can see it or not, the help we need is there to do what needs to be done.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #alone, #amazed, #answered, #arrived, #attached, #backontheroad, #believe, #believing, #blessings, #carried, #confidence, #dire, #explained, #hard, #hearing, #help, #helpweneed, #himself, #inquired, #never, #predicament, #profusely, #pulled, #pulling, #question, #see, #situation, #slid, #slowly, #teaches, #thanked, #think, #traveling, #turned, #walked, #wisdom, #wondered, #yelling

Watching Over

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Watching Over –

This afternoon I ran into a store to grab something I needed. The place didn’t have the item so I exited the store. As soon as I stepped outside I could hear a toddler screaming. I looked and the mom, clearly at her breaking point, was fussing at a small boy and neither was getting the better of the other. Finally, the mom, who was waiting for the dad to come out with keys told this boy and his sister who was standing beside the grocery cart watching the scene unfold, to wait while she ran into the store. I sat and watched as she left both toddlers by the car and began to walk inside. I couldn’t leave. I thought to myself; “Someone has to watch over these kids.” Suddenly the little girl bolted towards the mom who was inside the store by now. I tried to watch over both of them making sure no cars were coming or that anything else would happen to them. After a few moments, the mom emerged holding the hand of her daughter walking toward the boy who had only gotten louder when mom disappeared leaving him in the cart. I left knowing they were safer than when they were alone.

This post isn’t about how bad the mom handled the situation. I’m not a parent and have no idea what its like to have children wanting, needing, things all day every day. It’s about helping others, watching over them, caring enough to protect even if the parties don’t realize you’re there. There are times in our lives when all of us need someone to watch over us.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: # moments, ##protect, #allday, #alone, #beside, #better, #blessings, #bolted, #boy, #breaking, #caring, #children, #clearly, #Dad, #daughter, #disappeared, #emerged, #enough, #everyday, #exited, #hand, #handled, #hear, #helping, #him, #holding, #idea, #inside, #knowing, #leave, #Leaving, #left, #little, #lives, #louder, #makingsure, #mom, #need, #needed, #needing, #others, #outside, #over, #parent, #parties, #point, #realize, #safer, #scene, #screaming, #Sister, #situation, #small, #standing, #stepped, #Suddenly, #toddler, #toward, #unfold, #wait, #waiting, #walk, #walking, #wanting, #watched, #watching, #watchover

Empathy

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Empathy –

I heard a story today about a chaplain who worked in a veteran’s hospital in the 1950’s. There was an African-American soldier in the hospital who had lost a leg in the Korean War. The physical therapists had worked with him trying to get him used to wear a prosthetic leg. Both the soldier and medical personnel tried everything they could think of but nothing worked and the soldier was ready to give up and live life with one leg and crutches for the rest of his life.

The chaplain was made aware of the situation and stopped by soldier’s bed one night to see if he could be of any help. “I can still feel my leg, my real leg!” the soldier cried. “It’s a phantom pain.” replied the chaplain, “It will go away in time.” “That leg!” retorted the soldier gesturing toward the prosthetic one, “will never be ‘my’ leg.” After visiting with the young man the chaplain prayed with him and asked if he could take the prosthetic one with him. The soldier responded with a shrug.

The next day the chaplain returned with the same leg except it was painted a shade of brown to more closely match the soldier’s own skin tone. “What did you do?” asked the perplexed soldier. The chaplain, hoping he hadn’t offended the young man said he took it home with him and thought painting it might make it seem more palatable. “That’s all you did?” asked the soldier admiring the leg. “That’s it.” smiled the chaplain. The chaplain helped the young man to the side of the bed, attached the leg, helped him take his first few steps and from that day forward the soldier made remarkable progress.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. The chaplain helped the soldier not by insisting he use resources given to him by the hospital but by listening and understanding what the soldier was going through and then adapting his help to the soldier’s personal, unique need.

Too often we see people who need assistance and we automatically assume there are places and resources that are available. We surmise that if someone wants help enough they’ll figure out how to get it. The truth is everyone’s story is unique and unless we listen, understand and are willing to personally get involved many will go on suffering and being blamed for doing so.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

Tags: # understanding, #ability, #adapting, #admiring, #African-American, #another, #assistance, #assume, #attached, #automatically, #aware, #blamed, #blessings, #chaplain, #closely, #crutches, #empathy, #Except, #feel, #feelings, #figure, #firststeps, #forward, #gesturing, #getinvolved, #giveup, #goingthrough, #heard, #help, #helped, #hoping, #hospital, #insisting, #Korean, #life, #listening, #live, #lost, #match, #medical, #nothing, #offended, #pain, #painted, #palatable, #perplexed, #personally, #personnel, #phantom, #physicaltherapists, #prayed, #progress, #prosthetic, #real, #remarkable, #resources, #responded, #retorted, #returned, #share, #shrug, #situation, #skin, #smiled, #soldier, #stopped, #story, #suffering, #surmise, #time, #today, #tone, #toward, #truth, #understand, #unique, #veteran's, #visiting, #War, #worked, Home, Painting, Personal

On Demand

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On Demand –

This afternoon I had a follow-up appointment at the doctor’s office. They needed to do a routine check-up and wanted a deposit. I had figured as much so I made sure not to leave my deposit at home before I left. I went to the restroom, readied the bottle and…nothing. No matter how much I concentrated there just wasn’t anything that was going to happen. After several minutes I meekly came out of the lavatory and explained the situation to the nurse. She then sent me to the staff vampire who had no such trouble sticking me with a big needle and taking my second deposit by force. I now have a cotton ball and medical tape covering a hole in my arm.

We live in an; “On Demand” world. We get and expect things instantaneously. The problem is sometimes life doesn’t work that way. We may demand expediency but delay and obstruction is what we’re given. If we decide to take what we need to wait on by force pain is often the what we receive instead of what we desire.

It does us good to wait, to not get what we want, to be told; “No!” It reminds us we aren’t all-powerful, possess full control, aren’t as able as we’d like to believe. Wisdom, and the lessons it uses in everyday life remind us who we are, who we aren’t and how to be at peace with both.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Problems

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Problems –

There are three kinds of problems; those we can live with, those we can do something about and those we must separate ourselves from.

It’s the last one which gives us the most trouble. Living with something aggravating and, at least in the present moment, is unchangeable can be a challenge. Fortunately, or unfortunately, we can tolerate a lot. This approach can create more hassles if something needs to be changed and we lack the direction, motivation or passion to do something.

Taking control, bending problems to our will, throwing our shoulder into a problem is an attitude we find easy. There’s nothing like grabbing a difficulty by the throat and forcibly doing away with it, changing it to our liking. The risk here is we can make a situation worse if we are too hasty, too stubborn or not wise enough in our decision-making.

Leaving it, for most of us, takes the greatest strength. To be faced with a problem and not change it but change ourselves, how we approach it, takes courage and trust. When we put up with it we are sullen and prone to negative thoughts and spirits. When we take hold of it and wrestle with it, we feel we are in control. When we decide to let go, step back, allow the problem to exist and find contentment at the same time, we have reached a place of genuine spiritual and intellectual maturity.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #aggravating, #allow, #approach, #Attitude, #bending, #blessings, #challenge, #change, #changed, #contentment, #control, #courage, #create, #decide, #decision-making, #difficulty, #direction, #dosomething, #enough, #exist, #faced, #find, #forcibly, #Fortunately, #genuine, #grabbing, #greatest, #hassles, #hasty, #intellectual, #lack, #learn, #least, #Leaving, #letgo, #live, #livewith, #living, #maturity, #motivation, #obstacle, #ourliking, #ourselves, #passion, #place, #present, #problem, #problems, #prone, #reached, #shoulder, #situation, #spirits, #stepback, #strength, #stubborn, #sullen, #takehold, #three, #throat, #throwing, #tolerate, #trouble, #trust, #unchangeable, #unfortunately, #wear, #well, #will, #wise, #worse, #wrestle, moment, Negative, Separate, Spiritual, Thoughts

Reacting

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Reacting –

What are you reacting to? Such a wonderful and powerful question.

We live in a reactive world. Opinions, biases, judgments, loyalties, choosing sides, seems to be what everyone around us is doing. We don’t have to ask for someone’s thoughts on a matter before they tell it to us anyway. Social media is a primary culprit but I’ve heard stories of this happening in restaurants, gas stations, and grocery stores. People can’t shut up or stop typing. It is a wonder anyone can find interior peace when the exterior world bombards our ears with a cacophony of noise and words.

“The space in between” is a difficult discipline which needs broader acceptance. Basically, it teaches that between the incident and the comment is the moment to choose our response. Between the action and the reaction, we have the ability to make the situation better, the same, or worse. In the immediate time following an experience we have the ability to make it more or less unstable.

Reacting, choosing, deciding, what our reaction to a stimulus will determine our destiny. Will we be thoughtlessly reactive, speak without considering, act without thinking about the outcome? Or, will we remember the “space in between” and so grace, kindness, and love?

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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a Visit

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a Visit –

Last night, before letting the dog outside for its last chance to do some business my wife asked me if I could bring two Christmas Cactuses in the house. The temperatures were supposed to be dropping into the 30’s and she wanted to make sure they weren’t harmed. I grabbed the flashlight and opened the door. The dog ran out quickly and grabbing the first of the Christmas cactuses to bring inside I was handing it to my wife when a small bird flew out of the pot and into the house. My wife surmised this wasn’t a situation she was comfortable with feeling certain the bird wanted to nest in her hair and bolted for the living room. I picked up two mesh hats and tried to corral and capture the scared and fast-moving critter. It wasn’t easy but after a few moments, I noticed it kept heading back to the door where it came in. I propped open the door and was able to guide it to the opening and away it flew. “Whew!” Way too much excitement for that late at night.

As I chased the bird around the kitchen, mud room, and laundry room I wondered how ridiculous I looked trying to catch a bird, without harming it, with two mesh caps and my obvious lack of speed and agility. I also reflected on the unpredictability of life and how we can find ourselves so quickly in a situation we wouldn’t have dreamed of before it happens to us. Then, without warning, the unexpected comes swooping into our lives, and we are forced to deal with it.

Life is many things but none of them are boring. Thankfully, the troubles and challenges also, sooner or later, take flight and we’re left to ponder; “What’s next?”

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Lack of Information

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Lack of Information –

The last few weeks I have been dealing with a situation of which I have a limited amount of information. In fact, I’ve had enough information to make one decision or another without knowing how it’s going to work out in the end. It’s a difficult place to be and an even harder place to stay and find peace. It’s nothing life threatening though it could have life-altering consequences.

Situations such as this one can be the source of stress, ruminations and endless supplies of; “What ifs…?” However, I have found myself embracing the moment and repeating a wisdom quote; “If this happens you’re still breathing, still alive, still on the journey of your life. If that happens…same.”

It reminds me of the proverb;

“When confused; chop wood, eat your dinner, sleep.
When enlightened; chop wood, eat your dinner, sleep.”

It’s hard to be in those places of uncertainty as we walk along the path but sometimes it cannot be avoided. So, I place one foot in front of the other and know sooner or later the way will become clear.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Empty

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Empty –

A wise master received a university professor who came to inquire about true wisdom. The master served her tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full and then kept on pouring. The professor watched the overflow until she no longer could restrain herself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!” “Like this cup,” said the master, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you wisdom unless you first empty your cup?”

This is one of my favorite wisdom parables. It is a great reminder that we can become so full of ourselves, our opinions, our convictions, our beliefs, and our ego that we are unable to receive something new, different, exciting or growth producing.

To come to each day with an empty cup and allowing it to be filled with each experience, every person, circumstances, and situations is to be a true student of wisdom.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #circumstance, #empty, #emptyyourself, #growth, #lesson, #Master, #situation, #teacher, #wisdom

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