Blog Archives

Something Stinketh

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Something Stinketh –

A funny way to start this post, but something near our bathroom stinks! It’s not in the bathroom, or who is in the bathroom, but in the foyer outside of it. Last night would’ve been a good time for my wife to take a picture as I crawled around on all fours trying to figure out where the smell was coming from. We’ve moved furniture, sniffed walls, looked under, around, beside items and cannot find the source of the stench. In the bathroom foyer, there is a door to my workshop and Beth thinks this may be where it’s coming from. When there is an odor you cannot ignore it and it can be hard to do anything else because the smell is distracting. It seems to permeate your nostrils and locating and removing it is the only solution.

Wisdom teaches us about the stench of others’ attitudes, motives, and words. When someone in our lives is the source of the stench there are a few options. We can air out our grievances with the other and see if we can eliminate them. Perhaps we can, after trying other options, remove the “smelly” person or ourselves from the current workspace. If forced, we can find somewhere else to work. Friends with foul attitudes can be confronted and distanced from if needed. Family members are harder but can be done with sensitivity and a willingness to create space between ourselves and someone whose odor infiltrates our lives.

Our time on this planet is too short to be connected to those who refuse to work on their attitude’s aroma. We also want to make sure and do a “smell test” on ourselves and make any adjustments as well.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Storms Pass By

May 20

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Storms Pass By –

I stood on my porch a few moments ago watching the skies turn gray and the wind blow. I had received a weather warning earlier that thunderstorms were headed our way. I was excited because we need the rain. It was a wet late winter and early spring but it has been dry lately. However, the wind picked up and the skies became darker but no rain. Now it is sunny outside. More waiting and hand watering our plants and trees this evening.

Interesting how life works. There are actually storms we hope for and need and those from which we seek respite. I read an article this afternoon about “Introversion Hangovers.” These occur when an introvert becomes overstimulated by too much time around extroverts, events, experiences. Afterward, they require a time of recuperation. Introverts need a quiet, space and the opportunity to rest. For me, this subdue weekend has been that after a busy past couple of weeks. I am thankful the rhythm of life can, hopefully, get back to normal.

Storms come and go, impact us or miss us all together. Wherever we find ourselves may we also find peace.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannebsaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: # moments, #blessings, #busy, #excited, #experiences, #Extroverts, #findourselves, #findpeace, #headed, #hope, #hopefully, #impact, #interesting, #IntroversionHangover, #introvert, #life, #missus, #need, #normal, #opportunity, #overstimulated, #passed, #quiet, #rain, #rainfall, #received, #recuperation, #require, #respite, #rest, #rhythmoflife, #seek, #space, #stimulus, #storm, #storms, #StormsPass, #thankful, #thewannebsaint.com, #time, #waiting, #warning, #watching, #watering, #way, @BrianLoging, Article, Events, Weather

Starting Over

Apr 29

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Starting Over –

I was speaking with a friend this week who struggles with anger. We were trying to figure out how to take a breath before responding to a situation or a person who triggers his angry responses. We talked about tricks and tips to get him to breathe in fully and exhale before whatever words were forming on his tongue. I told him; “At that moment think, see with your mind what the consequences of your words are going to be.” It’s the discipline of ‘the space in between.’ The greater the space in between the stimuli and the response the better. Take time to think, to breathe, there is healing, understanding, awareness, and acceptance in that moment. Use it.”

With each breath is a new beginning, a starting over, an opportunity to live and give life.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Relationships

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Tags: # understanding, #acceptance, #anger, #angryresponses, #awareness, #before, #better, #between, #blessings, #consequences, #discipline, #figureout, #forming, #friend, #fully, #givelife, #greater, #healing, #live, #newbeginning, #opportunity, #over, #person, #remember, #responding, #response, #see, #situation, #space, #starting, #StartingOver, #stimuli, #struggles, #Thespaceinbetween, #thewannabesaint.com, #think, #time, #tongue, #tricksandtips, #triggers, #words, @BrianLoging, breath, breathe, exhale, Mind, moment

Tender Touch

Mar 11

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Tender Touch –

I washed a friend’s hair today. That’s a sentence most people don’t type often. It was an interesting experience. Washing my hair isn’t nearly as exciting. I think it’s because I don’t have much hair but also because I do it almost every day. I know how hot I like the water, the amount of shampoo I need, the best way to move my hands and arms so I can do a good and quick job, the pressure it takes to get my head and hair clean but not so hard I hurt myself. When washing another’s hair you aren’t sure about any of these things so you are more hesitant, you listen to their instructions intently, careful you are cleaning their head and hair but not scrubbing their scalp off! I did a decent job, spilling some water on their shirt, needed more shampoo because they actually have hair, but overall they were a satisfied client.

Human interaction comes in all shapes and sizes. We connect with each other in a variety of ways. Hopefully, we come out the better for it afterward. Often we take these joinings for granted. We interact with each other and forget how important these linkings are to who and what we are and become. It’s a delicate dance to make sure we don’t violate each other’s space and move together allowing each one to lead and follow, instruct and listen, b secure enough in the relationship to simply be or change entirely.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #actually, #afterward, #allowing, #almost, #amount, #arms, #become, #best, #better, #blessings, #careful, #change, #cleaning, #client, #connect, #dance, #decent, #delicate, #each, #eachother, #entirely, #exciting, #experience, #follow, #forget, #good, #granted, #hands, #hesitant, #hopefully, #human, #hurt, #important, #instruct, #instructions, #intently, #interact, #interaction, #interesting, #joinings, #linkings, #move, #need, #needed, #often, #other, #pressure, #quick, #satisfied, #secure, #shapes, #simply, #sizes, #space, #spilling, #tender, #tendertouch, #thewannabesaint.com, #think, #together, #touch, #variety, #violate, #washing, #water, #way, #ways, @BrianLoging, Lead, Listen, People, Relationship

Heart Space

Dec 10

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Heart Space –

This morning at worship service with my mom I bumped into an old friend and asked him how things were going. His birthday was a few weeks ago and he said that he was going to celebrate with a trip but had encountered some heart problems and wasn’t able to go.

I’ve reflected on the short conversation several times today. It is Advent season. A time of joy and celebration but our hearts are heavy with the passing of my dad. As we sat in church this morning, visited a home improvement store (which my dad loved to do), did some work around the house our hearts just haven’t been in it.

We know this is the path we must travel and one day much of the pain will dissipate but right now, this evening, it is not the time. Our broken hearts still ache and space which my dad filled is empty. There is no template for mourning, no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve. We take it one day at a time, one moment, one tear and laugh as the memories, experiences, and love flood us and fill us.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #able, #ache, #advent, #birthday, #blessings, #broken, #celebrate, #Celebration, #conversation, #dissipate, #empty, #encountered, #experiences, #fill, #filled, #flood, #friend, #grieve, #heart, #hearts, #HeartSpace, #heavy, #improvement, #joy, #laugh, #memories, #morning, #mourning, #notthetime, #one, #oneday, #onemoment, #pain, #passing, #path, #problems, #reflected, #right, #right. #wrong, #season, #service, #space, #tear, #template, #visited, #worship, church, Home, love, Travel

Cleaning Out

Dec 8

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for cleaning garage floor

Cleaning Out –

The last two days my mother and I have been working in my dad’s garage. It may be mom’s house but it will always be dad’s garage. We’ve been going through a lot of stuff which needed to be sorted. By the time we finished I had things to throw away, to keep and the garage was clean and organized.

It was a sad and enjoyable time rummaging through dad’s things. He loved tools and one could tell as we tried collecting them in one place. There was paint from projects long ago completed and recent work. Other items hadn’t been opened yet and we wondered; “What project was he thinking about when he bought this?”

The garage was a sacred space for my father. None of us would’ve dared gone in and rearranged it before his passing. My mom said this morning; “I know it needs to be done but I don’t want to do it.” I understood what she meant. There was a sense of invading another’s domain, eery and holy at the same time. There were items we kept not because they were important but because we just aren’t ready to part with them.

I think this best describes our walk down the path this week. We know we must go on without dad but we just aren’t ready to part with him.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #ago, #always, #aren'tready, #before, #blessings, #collecting, #completed, #dad'sgarage, #dads, #dared, #describes, #domain, #don'twant, #eery, #enjoyable, #finished, #garage, #goingthrough, #him, #holy, #house, #important, #invading, #kept, #long, #loved, #mother, #mustgo, #neat, #needed, #needs, #nice, #now, #one, #opened, #part, #passing, #path, #place, #projects, #ready, #rearranged, #recent, #rummaging, #sacred, #sacredspace, #sad, #sametime, #sense, #sorted, #space, #stuff, #thinking, #throwaway, #time, #tools, #tried, #walk, #week, #with, #without, #wondered, #work, #working, father

Silence

Dec 5

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Silence –

Today has been unusually quiet compared to the last several days since my father has passed. My wife and my mother spent some time together today which left me in her house alone. I reflected a bit on the week that has been but mostly I have slept. I am an introvert with diagnosed social anxiety so it takes little imagination to understand the state of mind I am in because deaths and memorial services, errands and condolence phone calls, emails and texts are anything but quiet and stress reducing.

My wife and my mom knew sleep and silence are what I needed today and am thankful they gave me some space. I am running on empty and my body, emotions, mind, and soul craves the quietude of muted phones, ignored texts, emails that can wait, errands which didn’t happen and the downtime which occurs the days and weeks after a loved one leaves this world.

They say the hardest part of a dear one passing isn’t the days immediately following. Days which are filled with planning, non-stop moving, endless words and memories are hard but can sweep you away in a flood of activity. It’s the days after which grow long. They are filled with loneliness, and questions, confusion, anger, and doubt. The flood of phone calls slow to a trickle, the flowers stop coming, the cards aren’t in the mail, and life goes on. The silence following the cacophony can be deafening.

So, what is a balm for me will become hurt, especially for my mother. It is in these times I must trust the memories will comfort, family and friends will step in for support and we will learn to live with the blessing of silence.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #activity, #after, #alone, #anger, #away, #balm, #become, #blessing, #body, #cacophony, #cards, #comfort, #compared, #condolence, #confusion, #craves, #days, #deafening, #dearone, #deaths, #diagnosed, #doubt, #downtime, #emotions, #empty, #endless, #errands, #especially, #filled, #flood, #flowers, #following, #friends, #hard, #hardest, #hurt, #I, #imagination, #immediately, #introvert, #learning, #leaves, #lifegoeson, #live, #long, #lovedone, #memorialservices, #memories, #mother, #moving, #muted, #needed, #non-stop, #part, #passed, #passing, #planning, #questions, #quiet, #quietude, #reducing, #reflected, #running, #several, #sleep, #slept, #slow, #socialanxiety, #space, #stateofmind, #stepin, #stopcoming, #stress, #support, #sweep, #thankful, #today, #trickle, #trust, #understand, #unusually, #wife, #words, Family, father, loneliness, Mind, Silence, Soul, World

Safe to Land

Nov 4

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for safe landing parachute

Safe to Land –

Today, I was mowing grass and doing yard work for a friend. Most of the grass has already turned brown for the winter except for a few green patches. As I mowed over a patch a large grasshopper jumped up and from the ground and landed on my shirt. I didn’t have time to figure out what to do because he got his bearings and jumped again to a safe space. This happened more than once as I kept infringing on his territory.

Each time the grasshopper hitched a ride I thought about our lives and the times we need temporary safe places to land. Not spaces we will occupy permanently but where we can get our bearings, catch our breath, take stock of what’s happening, see the challenge and the difficulty and perhaps a way to avoid it or, if needed, endure it.

I also reflected on the need to be a place that is safe to land for others who are in trouble. A place where they can feel accepted and be safe. A space that has a listening ear, no advice unless asked for, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, patience and empathy to endure and understand.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #accepted, #avoid, #bearings, #catch, #challenge, #cry, #difficulty, #ear, #empathy, #endure, #feel, #grasshopper, #hand, #happening, #hitched, #hold, #land, #listening, #lives, #need, #needed, #occupy, #patience, #perhaps, #permanently, #places, #reflected, #ride, #safe, #safetoland, #shoulder, #space, #spaces, #stock, #temporary, #times, #trouble, #understand, advice, breath

Reacting

Oct 29

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Reacting –

What are you reacting to? Such a wonderful and powerful question.

We live in a reactive world. Opinions, biases, judgments, loyalties, choosing sides, seems to be what everyone around us is doing. We don’t have to ask for someone’s thoughts on a matter before they tell it to us anyway. Social media is a primary culprit but I’ve heard stories of this happening in restaurants, gas stations, and grocery stores. People can’t shut up or stop typing. It is a wonder anyone can find interior peace when the exterior world bombards our ears with a cacophony of noise and words.

“The space in between” is a difficult discipline which needs broader acceptance. Basically, it teaches that between the incident and the comment is the moment to choose our response. Between the action and the reaction, we have the ability to make the situation better, the same, or worse. In the immediate time following an experience we have the ability to make it more or less unstable.

Reacting, choosing, deciding, what our reaction to a stimulus will determine our destiny. Will we be thoughtlessly reactive, speak without considering, act without thinking about the outcome? Or, will we remember the “space in between” and so grace, kindness, and love?

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Wisdom

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Tags: #ability, #acceptance, #act, #action, #better, #between, #biases, #bombards, #broader, #cacophony, #Choose, #choosing, #choosingsides, #comment, #considering, #culprit, #deciding, #decision, #destiny, #determine, #difficult, #discipline, #experience, #exterior, #gasstations, #grace, #grocerystores, #immediate, #incident, #interior, #judgments, #kindness, #loyalties, #matter, #opinions, #outcome, #primary, #Reacting, #reaction, #reactive, #remember, #response, #restaurants, #ShutUp, #situation, #socialmedia, #space, #spaceinbetween, #speak, #stimulus, #stoptyping, #teaches, #thinking, #thoughtlessly, #time, #unstable, #wonder, #words, love, Noise, Peace, Stories, Thoughts, World

One Thought

Sep 28

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

One Thought –

Yesterday, a friend wrote on her Facebook page, to make sure you spell check political posts before putting them out there for the world to see. I commented snarkily; “How about not posting them at all?” To be honest, I grow tired of the division the current administration and media seems to thrive on and more tired of friends and family, people I love, choosing sides against one another.

Social media can be a great way to keep in contact with folks down the block and across the nation and world. It can be immensely helpful by giving people an opportunity to supply aid when natural disasters strike and notifying users around the world of prayer needs. I use social media for all of these things plus writing my blog. However, over the last year, there has been a noticeable trend towards nasty, mean and downright hateful posts and replies.

When I counsel men and couples on getting along with each other one of the disciplines I teach is the; “The Space in Between.” It is the understanding that between the action and reaction is a space. In this space, we decide how we are going to react and which consequences will come as a result. “The greater the space in between the better the chance of a good decision with positive outcomes. The shorter the space in between the better chance of making a bad decision with negative outcomes.”

When it comes to social media I wonder if we shouldn’t reflect on the question; “Will this help? Build up? Bring people closer?”

“No one regrets a harsh word unspoken.” -#Wisdom #Proverb

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Contemplative

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Tags: # understanding, #action, #bad, #better, #between, #Buildup, #chance, #closer, #consequences, #counsel, #couples, #decide, #decision, #disciplines, #downright, #good, #greater, #harsh, #hateful, #help, #mean, #media, #men, #nasty, #noticeable, #outcomes, #positive, #posts, #questions, #react, #reaction, #Reflect, #regrets, #replies, #result, #shorter, #social, #space, #teach, #Thespaceinbetween, #trend, #unspoken, #wisdom, #wonder, Negative, proverb

In the Deep

Jul 19

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

In the Deep –

I listened to a police officer tell an interesting story today. She and her partner had been called to a house where a married couple was fighting. They knocked on the door, entered the residence and found the man and woman arguing in the kitchen. The two people were screaming at each other so loud the officers could not get a word in even though they were speaking at a high volume. Finally, in an act of desperation, the gentleman officer grabbed a loaf of bread, went to the fridge and retrieved some mayonnaise and meat and sat down at the kitchen table and began making himself a sandwich. After a few moments the couple noticed what the policeman was doing and stopped arguing and stared at him, incredulous at what he was doing. Taking a bite, he said after chewing; “I’m just going to eat this sandwich until you two are ready to listen.” Silence filled the room, except for the officer’s stomach digesting his snack, everyone else sat down and began to talk.

I reflected on life and all the voices which fill our minds, spirits, emotions and lives everyday. If we aren’t careful we can find ourselves all consumed by the noise. On social media, TV, radio, printed media people express their opinion and fight with those who don’t agree. Others add their perspective to whoever may be in ear shot, trying to persuade them to embrace their positions on everything from politics to sports to global issues of terrorism and finance. It can be hard, if not impossible, at times to find a place of silence and stability.

Though it may seem counter-intuitive stillness is at times and action. It is a purposeful removal of ourselves from all the distractions of the world, which scream for our attention, and enter into a space where we can rest and remember wisdom, truth, doesn’t force itself upon us but rather whispers in the deepest recesses of our souls.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #action, #attention, #counter-intuitive, #deepest, #distractions, #enter, #force, #purposeful, #recesses, #remember, #removal, #rest, #souls, #space, #truth, #whispers, #wisdom, Stillness, World

Bullets and in Between

Jun 17

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Bullets and Breaks –

I saw my first bullet hole in a human body this week. Well, what it looks like with a thin bandage over it anyway. The leg and the hole belonged to one of the men I teach in my incarcerated father’s class. I had noticed last week he was limping and when he came in on Wednesday I asked how he was doing and what had happened. I had no idea the story which would be told.

The tale included drugs, friends pulling guns on one another, a high-speed car chase, resisting arrest, guns on all sides and finally an arrest and a charge of nine felonies. Whew! By the time he finished I was worn out! The most important detail he shared was before everything fell apart, when he was sitting on the couch with a friend and things began to escalate, he said; “If I would’ve stopped for thirty seconds and thought about what I was doing. If I would have just walked away, none of this would have happened.”

Although there was much in his story I couldn’t relate to I certainly know the harm of acting in haste, not taking time to think before I said or did something harmful, in the heat of the moment, only to regret it soon after. The difficulty is that once we do anything good, bad, positive, or negative the consequence will follow. We can’t take it back. “When we pick up one end of the stick, we pick up the other.”

One of the most difficult yet important disciplines wisdom teaches is the; “space in the middle.” It is that place between the event, the action and our response, our reaction. Usually the less space we allow the higher possibility of making a bad decision and dealing with the results of our choices.

The young man with the bullet hole in his leg is looking at a long sentence in the state penitentiary. I hope that he, all the students and their teacher will learn and put into practice the lesson of; “the space in between.”

blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Lent

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Tags: #action, #bad, #between, #choices, #decision, #difficult, #disciplines, #event, #greater, #higher, #important, #middle, #possibility, #reaction, #response, #results, #space, #teaches, #wisdom

TheWannabeSaint.com

Essentialist, contemplative, author, advocate

Blog Archives

Something Stinketh

Storms Pass By

Starting Over

Tender Touch

Heart Space

Cleaning Out

Silence

Safe to Land

Reacting

In the Deep

Bullets and in Between

Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

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TheWannabeSaint.com

Essentialist, contemplative, author, advocate

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Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

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