Slowing Down –
The last few days have been slooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. We’ve had overcast skies, plenty of rain and this makes for a dreary season and spirit. April showers may bring May flowers but February showers bring time to a standstill. The last few months have been long. I always have a difficult time between Thanksgiving and Easter. It’s dark when you arise and when you arrive home in the evening. The darkness that surrounds me seems to permeate my emotions. As someone with Chronic Severe Depression and a Severe Anxiety Disorder the days slowing to a crawl, mess with my balance and threaten to send me over the edge into negative thought patterns and fixations on disappointments and failures.
The balance, of course, is not letting the anxiety get in there and make my brain whirl like a drugged up hamster on a greased up wheel. Again, it is balance. I make sure the things which help me; meds, exercise, talking to others about how I’m feeling, are done and not discarded even when tempted to do so.
The balance to keep life’s rhythm manageable is an everyday if not every moment discipline. If we let it we would be either swept away in a chaotic whirlwind of activity or mired in a despondent state of surrender. Slowing down isn’t the goal but balance and mindful living are what keeps us sane and steady on the path.
This morning I had a lecture to give in Nashville. I left early, as usual, because I’d rather be an hour early than a minute late. The interstates and bi-ways were filled with cars, trucks and semis. Traffic moved slowly in spots, too many traffic lights, lots of stopping, going, waiting, merging, until I finally arrived at the conference.
When it was over I once again turned on the handy-dandy GPS on my phone and noticed it offered me a different way than the one I had taken this morning. It indicated the Natchez Trace was only a few miles from my location. I decided to take this route. Exiting onto it I was at first dismayed when I noticed the speed limit was only 40 MPH! This was too slow when other routes would’ve let me go 70 MPH! “This is going to take forever.” I sighed. However, there was very little traffic and the drive was incredibly beautiful. There was no switching lanes, no bumper to bumper, only trees with a myriad of colorful blooms. It didn’t take long to get used to the slow and steady pace of the highway or to decide this is the way I’ll go tomorrow when I have my next session to give at the conference.
Wisdom teaches us that often it takes experiencing a different way to open our minds and spirits to the better chosen path for our lives.