Blog Archives
Stalking
Stalking –
“Waiting on a hurricane is like being stalked by a homicidal turtle!” I read this statement the other day and thought it was humorous and true. My wife and I have friends up and down the east coast and they are preparing for the worst and hoping for the best with Hurricane Florence looming as she’s still deciding when and where to make landfall. The slow-moving storm has people on edge. There’s something to be said for a challenge or difficulty that comes out of nowhere to cause chaos in life and then goes as fast as it came. It’s hard but at least one doesn’t have the agony of waiting.
I was talking with a friend last night about depression and anxiety and the way they steal the joy out of life. It’s a dark storm that hovers filling you with dread as you prepare for the full brunt of the fury. You wait, you pray, you look for signs of the storm passing but it stays in one place and never gives you a true moment’s rest. Your strength is sapped by the anxiety of the approaching darkness and when the storm finally hits its wave and winds batter and beat you into submission. Rest is elusive when something is stalking you, wearing you out with threats and anticipation, and finally, when it strikes, you’re too weak to fight back.
Be kind to each other. You never know the storms that are brewing in each of us.
For more posts, reflections, and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
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Life Finds a Way
Life Finds a Way –
Outside of our bathroom window, there is a huge limb that was torn down by a massive thunderstorm last year. I was able to get most of its almost twenty-five-foot length sawed off and hauled away but the chainsaw I used stopped working. It was my intent to get to the last, biggest, ten-foot portion of it but never did. Yesterday, while mowing the grass, I noticed there was a plant growing out of the long-dead limb. What was lifeless and useless had become home to new life.
Today is a friend’s birthday. It is a bittersweet day because it is the first one she’s had in over forty years that she cannot share with her partner who passed away. It has been a hard day for her. She has friends who are looking after her, a family that’s doing their best to care but it’s not the same. There’s not an hour that goes by she doesn’t think about him. Not a day where her heart doesn’t ache from the hole death has left in her life. However, in the midst of loss, new growth has begun. It’s slow and most days unrecognizable but it’s there; a new courage and a new strength. The new life doesn’t replace the loss. It grows partly because of and in spite of it.
In the midst of heartbreak that is this world, life finds a way.
For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings please visit www.thewannabesaint.com
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
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Are You There?
Are You There?
A couple of hours ago a storm blew into our area with winds and thunder but no rain, at least for us. I was on the couch with my earbuds in. This is why I didn’t hear the storm or our Siberian Husky, Trooper, come into the living room and sit down right next to me and stare. Suddenly I had a feeling of being watched and I looked in his direction to find his face a few inches from mine. It startled me! “What are you doing?” When I heard the thunder I realized he was looking for comfort. I patted him on the head, scratched ears and told him it was; “okay.” I guess he heard and understood because he went back to his favorite spot on the foyer floor and laid down. He’s still asleep now.
In times of uncertainty, calamity, unsettledness, and fear, what we want, need to know if someone is there for us. As adult humans, we understand that a person’s presence might not fix or solve the problem but it does remind us we are not abandoned. It is one of the deepest longings at the heart of existence; the assurance that on this journey call life, we don’t walk alone.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Storms Pass By
Storms Pass By –
I stood on my porch a few moments ago watching the skies turn gray and the wind blow. I had received a weather warning earlier that thunderstorms were headed our way. I was excited because we need the rain. It was a wet late winter and early spring but it has been dry lately. However, the wind picked up and the skies became darker but no rain. Now it is sunny outside. More waiting and hand watering our plants and trees this evening.
Interesting how life works. There are actually storms we hope for and need and those from which we seek respite. I read an article this afternoon about “Introversion Hangovers.” These occur when an introvert becomes overstimulated by too much time around extroverts, events, experiences. Afterward, they require a time of recuperation. Introverts need a quiet, space and the opportunity to rest. For me, this subdue weekend has been that after a busy past couple of weeks. I am thankful the rhythm of life can, hopefully, get back to normal.
Storms come and go, impact us or miss us all together. Wherever we find ourselves may we also find peace.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannebsaint.com
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The Little Things
The Little Things –
A few moments ago I walked outside to put the cover back on the fire-pit. I was burning debris on Saturday then Sunday and Monday it rained so today it has been drying out. It was a spur of the moment decision and took me less than 3 minutes. While outside I noticed it looked like rain was coming. Back inside I let the dog out to do his thing and brought him back in just as the clouds opened up and the rain began to pour. I couldn’t have timed it better if I had tried. The soaking rain will be good for the trees in our yard that are sprouting new leaves, the gorgeous green grass, and the blossoming flowers.
I sat at the front door as the storm swept through and listened to rhythmic drops of rain on the roof. In the span of five minutes little, ordinary things made my day.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Sounds Like
Sounds Like –
Twenty years ago this week an F3 tornado tore through downtown Nashville, Tennessee (http://www.wkrn.com/news/f-3-tornado-hit-nashville-20-years-ago_20180416214213/1126239206) We weren’t living in Tennessee at that time but we happened to be in Nashville chaperoning hundreds of teenagers at an annual talent and skills competition on the campus of Trevecca Nazarene University. When the announcement came down that all were supposed to seek shelter several of us ran to the different ball fields, tennis courts and other places where events were being held. Making sure to get everyone we saw to safety without a lot of chit-chat was important, however, one young teenage girl stopped and with fear in her eyes and voice asked me if we were in the path of the tornado? Guiding her inside as I answered; “I don’t know.” “How will we know?” she inquired. Not being a meteorologist I repeated what I once had been told; “A tornado sounds like a train!” Unbeknownst to my inquisitor, there was a set of railroad tracks behind the campus of Trevecca. At the exact time, I told her a tornado sounded like a train a train going past the school sounded its horn. “I hear the tornado! I hear the tornado!” I peered into her fear brimmed eyes, smiled and said; “Sweetie, tornadoes may sound like trains but they don’t come equipped with horns.” I got her with the rest of the students in a basement, shut the door and stood outside watching, listening for the tornado and laughing, thankful that even in this storm of chaos a light of joy can shine through.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Blind
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Blind –
Last night a mighty storm with fast blowing winds and rain came through our area. I sat in the house listening to dead limbs being shaken from the big Oak tree in our front yard, the rain pounding on the roof. There were a few times I went outside to see the storm but the sun had already set and with the clouds overhead there wasn’t much to view. Then the power went out. It wasn’t surprising because of the fierceness of the wind. I went outside again and nothing could be seen but I could feel the wind threatening to blow me over as it had a couple of our potted trees. Finally, after a few hours, the storm had passed, the lights were back on, and I was thankful the storm has passed.
I don’t like storms at night. The biggest reason is that I can’t see anything, not even the direction of the blowing wind. As I sat in a candlelit living room, everything quiet but storm raging outside, I was reminded of life and the storms we face. There are times we see the storm coming but there are other times when one comes out of nowhere. It’s ferociousness rocks our lives and we feel blind as we try to feel our way forward. These can be the scariest of all because there is seemingly no light to see by, to make us feel safe, or to tell us we are nearing the end. The only thing we can do is wait, trusting that no storm lasts forever.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Yielding
Yielding –
I am not a mountain. Today I yielded to the wind.
When I first went outside this morning the air was still and cool. A few hours later I went out again to go to a luncheon and the wind was blowing wildly and powerfully. I knew quickly I would need a jacket. The wind was powerful, forcing me to lean into it as I made my way to the truck. The cool wind made quick work out of my jacket and soon and felt as though it wasn’t even there.
A young man spoke with me a few days ago. He’s been having a rough time and he’s at a loss of knowing what to do. He’s not a mountain either. The winds have made quick work of the ways he protects himself and is blowing him around with no anchor to tether to.
As we talked I helped him separate what he could do with what he had to accept. We aren’t mountains. When the winds come billowing we can feel at the mercy of them and to an extent this is true. However, there’s almost always something we can do. We might feel weak compared to the power that’s blowing against us but this doesn’t mean we are powerless.
Firstly we accept the storm, the wind, the hardship and challenge they bring. We cannot stop the wind but accepting it, respecting it, allows us to stop trying to control it. We don’t have that kind of power. Secondly, in the stillness of acceptance, we discover what we can do and we act. We might not be able to do all we want but we do all we can. We can lean into the wind.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Out of Sight
Out of Sight –
This past weekend I wrote about a tiny gray cat that has been hanging around the house. The last time I saw it was on Saturday. I had been putting food out for it hoping to convince it we meant no harm but unfortunately, the neighborhood dogs beat the kitten to the chow. It started raining yesterday afternoon and has been steady since then. Remnants of Hurricane Irma is giving us plenty of water and a bit of wind. My worry, however, is the kitten. Is it dry? Did a neighborhood dog get it? I haven’t seen it since the weekend and I have no idea where it is or what happened to it. So, I wait and see. Hopefully, it’s still hiding under the porch and will come out after the storm passes.
There are people in our lives like the kitten. A storm begins to batter them and they hide, afraid of its downpour and thunder. We long to help them, to show them kindness, to meet whatever needs we can if they would just come out of hiding. However, like the kitten, there are trust issues and perhaps they’ve been hurt before by people pretending to help or they’re used to people taking not giving. What do we do? We wait. If they come out of hiding during the storm we can cover them with acts of kindness. If they wait until after this is fine also. Kindness and love have no expiration date.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Leak
Leak –
“You never know where the leaks are until it rains.” #BrianLoging
This morning I awoke to a downpour happening outside. It was raining so hard that when I took the dog out I stood under the overhang while telling him; “Go for it!” (I know, bad owner.)
In the back of our little farmhouse, there is a breezeway which connects to a pumphouse. At one it time did not have a roof. Somewhere, in the life of the house, an owner attempted to put a homemade roof over the breezeway and let’s just say it hasn’t held up. It can handle quick showers and light rain but heavy downpours and it leaks in certain spots. I know where most of the leaks are so I am sure not to put anything on the floor under that area so it won’t get wet.
The remodeling of our bathroom continues and this week the men delivered the tiles which they stacked in the breezeway. This morning I heard a splashing sound and looked out into the breezeway and all the boxes were wet from the passing storm. We called our remodel guy and he assured us it wasn’t a big deal which was a relief. However, this was only one part of our concern. There is a new, major, leak on the breezeway and we’re going to have to figure out what to do with this section of roof.
It’s a pain to be sure but if it had never rained we wouldn’t be aware of the problem. Now we have to figure out how to fix it. There are times and seasons of life when the rain pours into our lives revealing leaks and weak spots. Wisdom tells us we can be upset at the storm or see it as an opportunity to become more aware of ourselves, who we really are, the places which need attention and do something about it.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Storms of Life
Its abnormally warm today. The wind is stiff, gray clouds threaten and tornado warnings abound. The question isn’t; “If it’s going to storm” but rather “when?” It’s coming the exact arrival time is just uncertain.
As I drove to a meeting today strong winds gusts rocked the truck, a few droplets of rain fell on the windshield but nothing more. I reflected on the impending but elusive front that’s forecasted and how life’s storms are similar. We know life can be difficult, seasons of hardships and challenges will shake the foundations of our worlds. The question isn’t “if” but “when.”
Living with uncertainty can be unsettling. We prefer predictability, to be prepared for what’s around the corner waiting to rock our world but it doesn’t often work that way. Acceptance of our powerlessness to know, guess, plan and plot the storm fronts that will move through our lives takes courage to face the unknown and the faith that every tumultuous season will pass.
Blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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Passing
Last Wednesday a major storm front rolled through the area. High winds, buckets of rain, and minor flooding followed in its wake. Finally, after an interminably long day of rough weather, the clouds began to break as I was leaving the office. The picture above was the sight which greeted me. It was beautiful, not just because of the golds, yellows and blue but also for what the sight meant; the storms had passed.
“Into every life a little rain must fall” and into our lives storms of pain, difficulty and heartache will move into. Sometimes they seem to last forever but this is an illusion. One day the sun will shine, the light will break through and we’ll be reminded nothing lasts forever.
Blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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What’s Next?
Winter is coming, fast! Last week, Beth and I, brought in our tropical plants to keep them safe from winter’s breath and placed them on the front porch. We then put plastic sheeting around the interior of the porch to help keep it warmer. It worked and the plants made it through the first real cold snap. However, the next coming days are winter’s second wave of chilled air and the lows will be around 20 degrees.
We’ve also had several days with wind gusts up to 50 mph. As the wind assaulted our porch in plastic certain weaknesses in how we put it up were revealed. Today I fixed those areas, made them more secure.
As I worked on the small project I thought about life and the storms we face. They blow through, causing damage, making us a aware of our weakness and vulnerability. However, this doesn’t have to be negative and shameful.
In a way, I was thankful for the storms this past week so we could be better prepared for the next one. Perhaps wisdom can help us see life the same way?
Blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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Crashing Down
The first blast of winter’s cold air is arriving this weekend. I can tell preparations for the weather front are in full swing because our house foyer looks like an arboretum.
I spent most of the day framing and installing a door and storm door for an outside breezeway attached to the workshop. I’d like to ensure it will be as warm as possible before winter arrives and decides to stay.
I had the framing done and was putting the storm door in place. As I positioned it I reflected on the blessing it would be to have an extra layer of protection for the storms of life. An extra security measure just in case. The door was perfectly placed when I remembered a tool which was laying on the work bench. I went to grab it and then heard a loud crash! I was only gone five seconds but knew immediately what the sound meant. I had positioned the storm door but had not secured it. A gust of wind had swept through the breezeway and knocked the door to the ground shattering the protective glass. Ugh!
At first I was frustrated with myself for being such a bone head! However, as the irritation dissipated I was reminded of the truth that life offers no guaranteed protections. Things and people we put our faith in will fail us. Disasters, trauma, troubles and difficulties blow into our worlds and send our securities and comforts crashing down all around us.
I picked up the broken glass, put the door back in place and even found another pane to replace the one which was shattered.
Similarly when we face the storms of life we know nothing is permanent, all is passing away. When our world crashes we pick up the broken pieces, keep pursuing our purpose and know that what once was may be lost but there will always be new life to find.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
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Life or a Dim Imitation?
This morning a raging thunderstorm passed through the area bringing high winds, torrential rains and lots of lightning! Even though the sky was a bright shade of grey the flashes lit it up. Several times my eyes grew wide with wonder at the power and ferocity which was being displayed. In the midst of the downpour I was sitting at a traffic signal when another visual burst attracted my eye. It surprised me and as I whipped my head around I noticed it was only a strobe light on the top of a work truck.
The strobe light, though it startled me, didn’t invoke in me the awe the lightning had conjured within. It wasn’t nearly as bright, the predictable, rhythmic flashing wasn’t as inspiring and frightening as the streaks of energy and chaos which seemed to appear out of nowhere without advanced notice.
I reflected upon the two lights and the unpredictability of life. We like to think that a controlled, managed, structured existence is best. Certainly we wouldn’t allow pain, heartache, difficulties to strike without warning. We’d never be surprised by disappointment, disease and death. There would be a steady, fixed, consistent way of being but what would we lose?
Wisdom tells us it is in the unforeseeable, uncertain, unplanned parts of life when our eyes, heart and spirits are open to awe and wonder. It is in these times and seasons when we are inspired, strengthened and consider possibilities of which we’ve never dreamed.
It is the unexpectedness of life which lights up the soul. Don’t settle for a dim imitation.
blessings,
@brianloging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
