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Disposal

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Disposal

This afternoon I took a trailer full of wood and debris to the local dump. When I arrived there was a line on one side of the dumpster and not the other so I chose the less crowded side. I chose poorly. I pulled up behind a man who was shoveling dirt, plain dirt, into the dumpster. This struck me as strange and watching him I thought; “Mister? Why are you shoveling dirt into a dumpster? Isn’t there someplace else you could put that dirt in your yard, a hole you could fill, a spot which needs leveling?” Finally, he finished, gave me a friendly wave, and was on his way.

I reflected on the man and his load of dirt which needed to be disposed of.  Each of us has burdens which need to be lifted, weights taken off our shoulders, troubles to be solved, millstones to be removed, from our lives.  We often do not know the difficulties family, friends and strangers are carrying. It is not our place to judge but instead to understand that none of us journey the road of life burden free.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Why did the Cow Cross the Road?

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Why did the Cow Cross the Road?

There’s nothing quite like living in an agricultural community. You never know what strange experiences each day holds. This morning, on my way to an appointment, I was driving behind a car who suddenly hit their breaks, red lights shining brightly. I quickly hit my brakes and wondered why we were stopping and then noticed a big black cow standing in the right lane. We were on the crest of a hill and couldn’t drive around it for fear of being struck head-on by another vehicle. The driver in front of me beeped her horn, inched toward the animal, even tried shewing it but the bovine paid no attention. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the cow sauntered off the road and into the brush. Shaking my head, I carefully drove past it and wondered how and why it was in this place at this time.

Life’s road is similar to my experience this morning. You never know what’s going to cross your path, stand in your way, refuse to be moved. Many times we try to force, coerce, bribe our way around obstacles but they stubbornly resist movement of any kind. Sometimes the obstacle is the path, the lesson, which needs to be learned before it moves on. Other times life makes less sense and an obstacle is simply a barrier we must figure out how to move or get around.

Whatever the obstacle, no matter how big, imposing, or frustrating we should remember this too shall pass. All things are transient and nothing lasts forever.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Long

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Long

A question was asked today; “If you had one word to describe this year what would it be?” I knew the answer before the question was finished. The answer was/is looooooooooooooong.

My father passed away on December 1st. His battle with pancreatic cancer began near the first of the year. I went through it with him and my mom long distance, over the phone, and travelled down to South Carolina several times to see them. What they went through, the endless doctor’s appointments, the good news and bad news proclamations from well-meaning physicians, the ultimate acceptance of; “there’s nothing more we can do,” and then his sudden demise. As I said, “long year.”

Yet, paradoxically, there is a part of me that is holding on to 2017. It may have been fraught with battles and ultimately surrender but at least there was still a fight to be had. Since December 1st and the flurry of activity of the next few days prepping for his memorial service, the days have been living in slow motion. In spite of it’s pace, this was the last month I can say that I saw him, talked with him, sat in his presence, read and prayed with him. Now, in just a few hours I won’t have that attachment any longer.

It is quite difficult to let go, to walk into an unknown future, live a new normal with only 30 days of adjustments and finding our place, gaining our balance. It will be a challenge to press on into this new, strange year, but it must be done.

A soft, sorrowful; “Goodbye 2017” and a hesitant, and perhaps hopeful; “Hello” to 2018.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

The Hole –

The Hole

I used to hear tales of older folks who couldn’t eat certain foods too close before bed time or they’d have strange dreams and restless nights. I figured I hadn’t read that age yet until the last few times we’ve eaten pizza later than usual. Last night was one of those occasions. I ate one slice of supreme pizza with spicy sausage around 8pm and a couple of hours later crawled into bed.

I drifted off to sleep and it wasn’t long before one of the strangest dreams I’ve ever had began. It involved Sherman Hemsley, yes that; Sherman Hemsley, Mr. George Jefferson himself who starred in the titular role on the T.V show, “The Jefferesons.” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherman_Hemsley) I found myself sitting on the front row, in a large church with wooden pews along with a packed house as Mr. Hemsley was getting married to a woman of Japanese descent. The dream was so crazy I only remember snippets. There was singing, preaching, sushi and me thinking; “What am I doing here?” The service, and the dream, seemed to go on forever and then someone spoke to me; “You can focus on who put you in the hole or who pulled you out.” and then I woke up.

I told Beth the dream over breakfast at Cracker Barrel this morning. I like to try to decipher where my dreams come from, what events and experiences contributed to the images and speech found in them, especially the odder ones but for the life of me I don’t know where George Jefferson, Sushi and a wedding come from.

However, the words of wisdom; “You can focus on who put you in the hole or who pulled you out.” are powerful and certainly worth reflecting on.

Tonight, something bland for dinner and maybe an Nexium.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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When We’re Stuck

Awesome video!  I watched in awe as the operator gently picked up the stuck deer with the giant scooper and placed it where it could move again.

As it played I thought about times in my life when I was stuck. Seasons when I couldn’t move, find my way, get loose of the muck and mire which held me, trapped me, threatened my life. I also reflected on those who came to my rescue. Folks with great skill, compassion, love and commitment who helped me when I couldn’t help myself.

Life’s path leads us to strange and uncomfortable places. There will be experiences and events which pull us in, hold us fast, wear us out and leave us stuck. Struggling, fighting to free ourselves may only leave us immobile and unable to journey forward. Having mentors, counselors, advisers, people who love and care enough to not leave us stranded can be one of our greatest treasures.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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