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Charging Stations

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Charging Stations –

Where do we recharge? Where is a place we can go to renew and rejuvenate our body, emotions, mind, and spirit? One of the concepts I learned in a training I attended this week in Nashville, Tennessee was that everyone needs a safe place to go and refill, as one presenter said; “the “joy” juice.

These recharging stations are especially important if your life is filled with stress. Stress drains our brains, our souls. It has a way of stealing the “joy” from us and replacing it with a toxic combination which certainly damages us short-term and can damage us for a lifetime.

This is why places such as a church, park, gym, community center, friend’s house, favorite restaurant, mall or a backyard swing or hammock, can make a huge difference in our lives. These places give us an opportunity to breathe, clear our heads, relax, let go, reflect and process difficult experiences and relationships, simply be without needing to do anything else.

Recharging is not just for phones, tablets, and computers. It’s necessary for all of us whose batteries are running low.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Touching Life

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Touching Life –

I watched a video today about a woman, who is afraid of spiders, try to get past her fear by being in the same room, sitting close to one, and eventually touching one and allowing it to touch her. It was an interesting study of fear, facing what frightens us and hopefully overcoming it.

Being fearful keeps us from participating in all life has to offer. As someone with an anxiety disorder, I am acutely acquainted with fear, in fact, its one of my worst friends. I don’t know the source of my fear. One of the reasons I go to therapy is to hopefully one day discover it. Perhaps its as simple as a chemical imbalance and the right combination of medicines will mostly alleviate the ball of worry and stress which sits on my stomach most days. Maybe its memories or experiences which I’ve buried and one-day uncovering them will set me on the path to a more lasting peace.

Whatever the path I travel I want it to be toward knowing joy, not fear, connecting not being disconnected, living not simply existing.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Worry is like Prayer

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Worry is like Prayer –

I was speaking with someone today and they quoted a wisdom proverb I had never heard;

“Worrying is like praying for something you don’t want to happen.”

It instantly became a favorite wisdom quote of mine. As someone with a Severe Anxiety Disorder, I can relate to worrying and doing it obsessively. One of the symptoms of an Anxiety Disorder is rumination. Rumination is the inability to turn off negative thoughts. Similar to a broken record player (do people know what they are anymore?) or a scratched Compact Disc (same question) getting caught in a loop and reciting the same lyrics in your head over and over.

I come from a long line of worriers and a long line of pray-ers but I never put the two together before. I am sure if the quote is analyzed enough there are theological (the study of the divine) and ontological (the study of being) questions and fallacies but for now it gives me a new way to look at worry, stress, anxiety, rumination and where to focus my thoughts and spirit.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Nothing is Lacking

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Nothing is Lacking–

I was a part of a conversation this week where a group of people was giving a person advice. The advice was based on what the person had shared; a story of love and betrayal. On the wrong side of a bad choice is a terrible place to be and the person was fixated on how to either get over on the person who hurt him or get over it period. Two choices were staring him the face and he was going to choose either one or the other.

Decisions based on pain are almost always bad ones. We make these in times of stress, confusion, doubt, and loneliness. We feel as though we have lost something, had it taken away from us, and we want it back or rather life back the way it was or the way it should be.

Wisdom teaches us that suffering is the gap between how life is, reality, and how we think life ought to be. The greater the gap the more suffering. It is why learning to let go and acceptance are two of the greatest life lessons we can learn and practice. Life is rarely if ever, the way we want. Even if for a while it seems to be sooner or later it changes and we have no control over this truth. To live with open hand, to not try to grasp, force life to stay the same and allow for the inevitable change is to know and live in peace.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #acceptance, #advice. #based, #allow, #almost, #always, #away, #bad, #betrayal, #blessings, #change, #changes, #choice, #choices, #Choose, #confusion, #control, #conversation, #decisions, #doubt, #face, #feel, #fixated, #force, #gap, #getover, #giving, #grasp, #greater, #greatest, #group, #hand, #hurt, #inevitable, #know, #lacking, #later, #learn, #learning, #lessons, #letgo, #life, #lost, #nothing, #open, #pain, #period, #practice, #rarely, #reality, #shared, #shouldbe, #side, #sooner, #staring, #staythesame, #story, #stress, #suffering, #taken, #teaches, #terrible, #think, #times, #truth, #wantitback, #wisdom, #wrong, loneliness, love, Peace, People

Testing, 1, 2, 3

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Testing, 1, 2, 3 –

Today was my annual Tuberculosis test for the non-profit where I am employed. I don’t like tests, shots, or pain so this was a three for three experience of joy! It’s the same every year. I go into a small room, the nurse tells me this is going to hurt but not too much. I look away and tell her I don’t want to know when just do it. She does and then tells me to come back in 2-3 days for the results. So, I wait.

I don’t have Tuberculosis. At least I don’t think I do. Would I know it if I did? The test makes me think about it. Each year I forget what a positive result looks like so I google the symptoms and then look at my arm over the next couple of days to make sure I don’t have what I don’t think I have…

Life has a way of making us worry about a lot of stuff. You watch, read or listen to the news you begin to worry about things you hadn’t even thought of before. You talk with family, friends and they’ll give you something else to be concerned about. Before you know it, if you’re not careful, you have enough stress and anxiety to last a lifetime.

Wisdom teaches us that agonizing, over thinking, brooding, and panic are not a healthy state of mind or emotions. Letting go of that which distresses us might not be easy but carrying around a load of tension and agitation ensure we will never find the peace which we desperately desire and need.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #agitation, #agonizing, #annual, #anxiety, #arm, #begin, #blessings, #brooding, #careful, #carrying, #concerned, #days, #desire, #desperately, #distresses, #easy, #emotions, #employed, #ensure, #experience, #find, #forget, #friends, #google, #healthy, #hurt, #joy, #lettinggo, #life, #lifetime, #load, #might, #need, #never, #next, #non-profit, #nurse, #overthinking, #pain, #panic, #positive, #results, #shots, #state, #stress, #symptoms, #teaches, #tension, #test, #testing, #think, #today, #Tuberculosis, #wait, #watch, #way, #wisdom, #worry, Family, Listen, Mind, News, Peace, Talk, Thought

Silence

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Silence –

Today has been unusually quiet compared to the last several days since my father has passed. My wife and my mother spent some time together today which left me in her house alone. I reflected a bit on the week that has been but mostly I have slept. I am an introvert with diagnosed social anxiety so it takes little imagination to understand the state of mind I am in because deaths and memorial services, errands and condolence phone calls, emails and texts are anything but quiet and stress reducing.

My wife and my mom knew sleep and silence are what I needed today and am thankful they gave me some space. I am running on empty and my body, emotions, mind, and soul craves the quietude of muted phones, ignored texts, emails that can wait, errands which didn’t happen and the downtime which occurs the days and weeks after a loved one leaves this world.

They say the hardest part of a dear one passing isn’t the days immediately following. Days which are filled with planning, non-stop moving, endless words and memories are hard but can sweep you away in a flood of activity. It’s the days after which grow long. They are filled with loneliness, and questions, confusion, anger, and doubt. The flood of phone calls slow to a trickle, the flowers stop coming, the cards aren’t in the mail, and life goes on. The silence following the cacophony can be deafening.

So, what is a balm for me will become hurt, especially for my mother. It is in these times I must trust the memories will comfort, family and friends will step in for support and we will learn to live with the blessing of silence.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #activity, #after, #alone, #anger, #away, #balm, #become, #blessing, #body, #cacophony, #cards, #comfort, #compared, #condolence, #confusion, #craves, #days, #deafening, #dearone, #deaths, #diagnosed, #doubt, #downtime, #emotions, #empty, #endless, #errands, #especially, #filled, #flood, #flowers, #following, #friends, #hard, #hardest, #hurt, #I, #imagination, #immediately, #introvert, #learning, #leaves, #lifegoeson, #live, #long, #lovedone, #memorialservices, #memories, #mother, #moving, #muted, #needed, #non-stop, #part, #passed, #passing, #planning, #questions, #quiet, #quietude, #reducing, #reflected, #running, #several, #sleep, #slept, #slow, #socialanxiety, #space, #stateofmind, #stepin, #stopcoming, #stress, #support, #sweep, #thankful, #today, #trickle, #trust, #understand, #unusually, #wife, #words, Family, father, loneliness, Mind, Silence, Soul, World

Lack of Information

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Lack of Information –

The last few weeks I have been dealing with a situation of which I have a limited amount of information. In fact, I’ve had enough information to make one decision or another without knowing how it’s going to work out in the end. It’s a difficult place to be and an even harder place to stay and find peace. It’s nothing life threatening though it could have life-altering consequences.

Situations such as this one can be the source of stress, ruminations and endless supplies of; “What ifs…?” However, I have found myself embracing the moment and repeating a wisdom quote; “If this happens you’re still breathing, still alive, still on the journey of your life. If that happens…same.”

It reminds me of the proverb;

“When confused; chop wood, eat your dinner, sleep.
When enlightened; chop wood, eat your dinner, sleep.”

It’s hard to be in those places of uncertainty as we walk along the path but sometimes it cannot be avoided. So, I place one foot in front of the other and know sooner or later the way will become clear.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

Tags: #alive, #amount, #avoided, #breathing, #chop, #clear, #confused, #consequences, #dealing, #decision, #difficult, #embracing, #endless, #enlightened, #foot, #front, #happens, #harder, #information, #journey, #life, #life-altering, #limited, #path, #place, #quote, #reminds, #repeating, #ruminations, #situation, #situations, #soonerorlater, #source, #stress, #supplies, #threatening, #uncertainty, #walk, #Whatifs, #wisdom, #wood, moment, Peace, proverb

Jumpy

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Jumpy –

It came out of nowhere this morning when I was mowing the grass! I have seen a lot of small frogs the last couple of weeks and try to be aware of them but this little guy jumped up on my lawn mower and before I could stop it, it hopped on the engine! I was afraid it was going to fry itself, but a nanosecond later he jumped off and into the grass.

Isn’t it interesting how worried we can get over little things? Surprises which suddenly appear and there’s no time to prepare but our anxieties, stress, negative thoughts spike and we ask perplexed; “What am I going to do? What should I do? What can I do?” Sometimes the troubles disappear as quickly as they come and other times life comes to a halt while we figure out the best way to handle it.

What’s interesting is that whatever jumps into our lives is often beyond our control. We couldn’t have stopped it even if we knew it was coming. The second truth is we can only do what we can and let the rest just happen. It’s not comforting to know we can’t always stop or change, difficulties, and challenges that appear in our lives but instead of resisting we can accept and continue to move forward, even if it’s in a different direction.

blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #acceptance, #anxiety, #blessings, #challenges, #difficulties, #frog, #jumpy, #life, #stress, #troubles, #truth

Want to See

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Want to See –

Last spring my wife planted some Petunias in a steel bucket that sits in our front yard. This spring she’s been too busy. In place of the beautiful flowers we had last year there are several weeds growing. This afternoon, while mowing the grass, I looked in the steel bucket and there was one single pink Petunia. It was small, crowded and shadowed by the weeds but it was there none the less. If I wasn’t looking in the right place and the right time I would have missed it.

Life can be similar to the small flower in that bucket. There are plenty of weeds; stress, schedules, emergencies, life changing decisions, habits, hang-ups, and hurts. It can be easy not to see the good when we are surrounded by so many things which crowd our lives and shadow our hearts. However, if we keep looking, daring to hope and dream perhaps we will see the beauty of kindness, grace, and love blossom before our eyes.

blessings,
@BrianLoging
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #blossom, #Emergencies, #fatigue, #flowers, #grace, #grow, #keeplooking, #kindness, #pressure, #schedules, #stress, #weeds, #wheretolook, beauty

Next?

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Next? –

A friend and I were discussing the wisdom proverb; “In each rain drop the universe is contained in full.”

As with most wisdom sayings, there are many interpretations but we focused on the truth that in each moment all of life is contained. When we try to grab for more it’s like grasping water, nothing is there.

We prefer a life which is predictable. Things to be, and stay, normal. However, what we are after is control. We try to make life stay much the same as it was in the past if we’ve been relatively satisfied.

We’d prefer not to dwell on the truth that life can change in an instant and never be “normal“, the same, again. We don’t like the idea of unemployment, sickness, death, other stresses, tragedies and heartache may be what the next moment holds.

We’d rather ignore this insight and live in oblivion until life ceases to grant us this illusion. This moment is ours, nothing more is promised, nothing more need be if we treasure our only possession; now.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #heartache, #longlife, #nextmoment, #nothingpromised, #now, #oblivion, #promised, #satisfied, #stress, #thispresentmoment, #treasure, #truth, #unemployment, #wisdom

Urgency and Stillness

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Stillness

This morning I woke up about ten minutes before the alarm was scheduled to go off and noticed my bladder was telling me to; “get up!” The bed however was giving me another message; “be still, stay, relax.” I compromised. Normally I hit the snooze three times before dragging myself out of the bed but today, because of my bladder’s urgency, it was only twice.

Life is filled with experiences in which we try to find the balance between stillness and urgency. There are moments, times, seasons when urgency is not only needed but necessary. Emergencies, crises, or other situations may require us to be more hurried in order to avoid dire, serious or even grave consequences. However, mostly our days are filled with the temptation to turn ordinary, normal occurrences and happenings into times of great stress and anxiety. Instead of allowing the usual to become the urgent wisdom teaches us to take a breath and let go of that which is not truly critical so we can embrace the crucial.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: # moments, #anxiety, #balance, #consequences, #crises, #crucial, #dire, #embrace, #Emergencies, #experiences, #grave, #happenings, #hurried, #letgo, #life, #necessary, #needed, #normal, #occurrences, #ordinary, #seasons, #serious, #stress, #teaches, #temptation, #times, #urgency, #wisdom, breath, Stillness

Under Pressure

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

A few weeks ago a belt on our vacuum cleaner broke turning it into a large, useless, piece of plastic, metal and wires. Hoping to repair it without taking it to a shop I found a store which sold belts and looked for the one I needed. Unfortunately the manufacturer no longer makes the model nor the belt. So, I began to look for one close to the size of the broken one I had brought with me hoping for a suitable replacement. After finding and purchasing the belt I brought it home.

Last night I decided to try and fix the vacuum cleaner. I noticed the belt was a very tight fit, requiring a good deal of stretching to get it in place. After getting all the other pieces correctly attached I turned on the machine. For a moment it seemed to work. However, a few more swipes over a rug and a smell began to permeate room. There were also pieces of plastic which started coming out from the bottom of the vacuum. Uhoh! I quickly shut it off and turned it over only to discover that one end of the roller, the one which the belt was next to, was destroyed. The belt was too small, and the pressure from it so great, it disintegrated the part and made the vacuum cleaner inoperable. I ended up throwing it away and we’ll be shopping for a new one this week.

As the smell diminished, while picking up the pieces, I reflected upon the truth of how pressure can also break us. If we aren’t aware of how stress, anxiety, the burdens and difficulties of everyday life and especially chaotic seasons can wear on us down, grind us to a nub, we may discover too late that we’re unable to continue to find and fulfill our purpose.

Blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #broken, #journey, #life, #path, #pressure, #stress, #wisdom, mindfulness, Peace, Truth

Unseen Protector

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Yesterday, on my way back to Columbia, TN from Bedford county, I passed a cable laying company and noticed a large empty wooden spool. I pulled into the business’ parking lot, walked in and asked if they would sell, or even better, give it to me. The owner was willing to part with it at no cost and helped me load it into the back of my truck. There were already some other building materials in the bed so we positioned it on top and I tied it down. However, because of the other materials the tailgate was lowered and the spool couldn’t be turned sideways. I am fairly confident in making a knot that’ll stay secure but I kept a close eye on the big wooden spool all the way home. There were two fears; one that it would roll out the back and into another vehicle, two that it would roll forward and break out my back window. Slowly navigating the back hills to my home I held my breath on every incline and decline, turn and stop. Finally, I pulled into the driveway and exhaled! “Whew!” I gathered my work things from the crew cab and started to go inside. I walked around the truck and to my surprise and amusement I spied the chrome metal toolbox that’s attached to the bed of the truck just below the back window. I’ve owned my vehicle for almost a year and a half and have used this toolbox many times but today completely forgot it was there. The back window was never in danger of being broken because this forgotten protector would’ve stopped it from getting that close.

My worry was that my knot, my ability, my attempt to keep myself and others from pain and loss wasn’t enough. I was so concerned and focused on this obstacle of potential destruction I never considered there was something else stronger, sturdier, in place to keep me from harm. Looking through my rear-view mirror I only saw the spool, never the toolbox.

It was a needed reminder that our focus determines our state of mind, emotions and overall well being. When our vision is obscured because of forgetfulness or refusal to look at other things our minds, bodies and spirits are tied in knots, our energy strapped, living itself becomes a labor. However, when we remember our protector, even though unseen, is keeping us safe we are able to let go and trust even in the most anxious and stress filled circumstances.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #anxious, #bodies, #determines, #emotions, #focus, #forgetfulness, #letgo, #minds, #protector, #refusal, #reminder, #safe, #spirits, #stateofmind, #stress, #trust, #wellbeing, Vision

Identifying with Others

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

This morning I read about a Dad who had a tattoo of his daughter’s cochlear implant imprinted upon his head. Now whether you’re a tat person or not that’s pretty cool.

I was talking with my neighbor last night about a schizophrenic man in Nashville who was killed this week by police after he tried to shoot with a gun and maim with a hatchet a group of people in a movie theater. Fortunately no one else was seriously injured.

“It’s hard to understand why a person would do such a thing!” He said to me. I knew this wasn’t the time to go into mental illness and it’s effect on individuals and families but I did tell him that often it’s the people who inflict the greatest amount of pain on others who are suffering the most themselves.

We may not comprehend the hurt and actions of others. We aren’t able to climb inside their minds and spirits to sort out motivations and intentions. However, what we can do is not judge, not dismiss, not shake our heads with condemnation and contempt.

Too often the struggles and difficulties of another separate us, especially when we can’t identify with the particular hell they’re going through. However, using our ignorance as an excuse eliminates our ability to hear their cry, help with their need, bring healing to their wounds.

blessings,
@BrianLoging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #depression, #emotions, #EndTheStigma, #mentalhealth, #mentalillness, #schizophrenia, #Stopthestigma, #stress

When Life Keeps Going & Going & Going

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

This video fascinated me yesterday. The washer kept going and going and going. I kept waiting for it to quit, thinking it might just fall apart, expecting it to explode but it simply held up under extreme hardship and duress.

I think this video captured my attention, in part, because I haven’t felt good the last couple of weeks. However, life doesn’t stop because I’m not at my best. It just keeps churning. I’m not sure which I identified with more; the washer or the piece of metal thrown into it.

Life has a way of testing us, pushing us to our limits, seeing how much pressure, stress, anxiety and chaos we can handle before we quit. We like to think we’re similar to the washer’s motor which, even after everything else crumbled, kept spinning, never surrendering.

Truth is however, no matter how much inner fortitude, grit, resolve and will we have sooner or later the plug will be pulled and our energy supply ceases. The washer motor was willing but without the power to make it go it was only another piece of metal.

Making sure we can keep going isn’t about toughness and stick-to-it-ness, it’s making sure what powers us can’t be disconnected.

blessings,
@brianloging
http://www.thewannabesaint.com

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Tags: #anxiety, #commitment, #fortitude, #power, #quit, #resolve, #stress, #willpower

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