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No Other Direction

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No Other Direction –

I broke my lawn mower yesterday! That might be an overstatement. I misjudged how close I could mow to a fence post and smashed the wheel up against it. When I did that I messed up the steering wheel and had to mow the last half of our yard only being able to turn the steering wheel right. When I turned left the steering wheel wouldn’t turn the wheels. It was frustrating figuring out how to only turn right and accomplish the job. It took longer but I finally mowed the whole yard.

I’ve reflected on the frustration of only being able to turn in one direction. There have been times in my life when I wanted to go one way and haven’t been able to. I struggled, fought, complained, and smashed myself against the way I wanted to go only to go nowhere. I still have that feeling about a particular section of my life. It’s an area I derived a lot of pleasure and purpose but it seems closed off to me and has been for a while. It’s been several years and several failed attempts to turn my life in that direction. As time goes by my doubts of ever being able to turn in that direction grows while hope fades.

Perhaps this is the way it is supposed to be. Maybe still longing for it shows I have growing to do. I can fix the lawnmower but there are seasons in life that are never to be repeated.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)

For more posts, reflections and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com

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Closer

Jul 8

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Closer –

This morning at church the reverend closed the service by asking people to come to down to the front altar and pray for a woman who was leaving with a team of people to go to Africa on a mission trip. She knelt and many of the people in attendance gathered around her. As someone began to pray I heard a sound; “Clank. Silence. Clank. Silence.” I looked up and saw an elderly woman moving towards the group using a walker. By the time she made it up to the front, they were almost finished with the prayer but that didn’t seem to matter. What mattered was she wanted to be a part of the group, show her support, be closer to the one who was leaving, because she cared and caring most often requires our presence.

As she struggled I reflected on this woman and her concern for the other overcoming her condition. The world as we know it seems to be coming apart at the seams. Institutions, foundations, and truths we thought would last forever are crumbling before our eyes. What do we do? How do we stop it or at least stem the tide? I think we should do as the woman did this morning. We recognize our weakness, our lack of power and control, but still run, walk, crawl, towards a need and be present, change what we can by getting closer. When things are too big, too unruly, too far gone, it’s easier to stay where we are, shrug our shoulders and say; “There wasn’t anything we could’ve done.” or we can get “some “skin in the game.” We can try. We can put forth the effort with an attitude that only those who show up can make a difference.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #AlmostFinished, #attendance, #Attitude, #beapart, #blessings, #cared, #caring, #changewhatwecan, #closer, #comingapartattheseams, #condition, #control, #crawl, #crumbling, #foundations, #gathered, #gettingcloser, #going, #group, #Institutions, #lackofpower, #lastforever, #least, #makeadifference, #need, #overcoming, #pray, #presence, #putforththeeffort, #recognize, #reflected, #requires, #run, #showhersupport, #showup, #shrugourshoulders, #skininthegame, #staywhereweare, #stemthetide, #struggled, #thewannabesaint.com, #toobig, #toofargone, #toounruly, #towards, #truths, #walk, #weakness, #Wecantry, @BrianLoging

By Surprise

May 30

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

By Surprise –

On my way home from Nashville today I was passed by a Mustang convertible. The top was down and the man and woman in the car seemed to be having a carefree drive enjoying the sunshine and summer breeze. Then, out of nowhere, the clouds blocked out the sun and the bright day turned dark. The dark gray clouds opened up and a torrential downpour started. People started slowing down because even with the windshield wipers on high it was difficult to see the road. The people in the Mustang began looking for a place to pull over to the side of the road to put the top back in place so they would no longer be pelted by the rain.

As they struggled to find protection I reflected on the truth that sometimes storms come and we’re not prepared. They surprise us because everything seemed to be going great. We’re enjoying the road of life and all of a sudden; panic, frustration, trauma. We’re left with a mess trying to figure out; “What happened?”

Life is full of surprises. Whether we’re ready or not, here they come.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #blessings, #blockedoutthesun, #brightday, #BySurprise, #carefree, #Clouds, #dark, #difficult, #downpour, #enjoying, #frustration, #fullofsurprises, #goinggreat, #heretheycome, #mess, #nolonger, #notprepared, #nowhere, #openedup, #panic, #protection, #readyornot, #reflected, #roadoflife, #seetheroad, #Slowingdown, #struggled, #sudden, #Sunshine, #surprise, #thewannabesaint.com, #torrential, #trauma, #trip, #truth, #unprepared, #wayhome, #Whathappened, @BrianLoging

In Memory of

May 28

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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In Memory of –

This is a strange holiday for me. It’s not strange in the sense that I don’t understand it or think it necessary but strange because I did not serve in the armed services nor lost a loved one while in military service. I don’t know what it’s like to charge up a hill with my unit, share foxholes with people who I depend on for my life, find the courage to carry out orders that put my life and others in danger and know not everyone is coming back from the mission. I don’t know what it is to get a knock on my door, a phone call, by servicemen or women to inform me a loved is not returning home. I can’t imagine the pain, heartache, loss, or pride that comes with Memorial Day.

I once served on a staff with a war veteran and we liked to talk politics, history, and war. He had seen action in the military while I sat in the safety of a university classroom. We’d have conversations about the justifications of war. I’d voice my opinion that Christians should follow Jesus’ example and be pacifists, opposed to all violence and then he’d tell me when and why I was wrong. I didn’t agree with everything he said about the military, nation-building, and protection but I was also humbled and silent as he spoke. I understood that he had served, put his life on the line for us to disagree and still be friends, still call ourselves by the same name; Americans.

“The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”
#AbrahamLincoln #GettysburgAdress

Blessings & Thank you,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #AbrahamLincoln #GettysburgAdress, #add, #advanced, #agree, #alive, #Americans, #armedforces, #beforeus, #brave, #chargeup, #consecrated, #conversations, #courage, #danger, #day, #dedicated, #depend, #detract, #devotion, #diedinvain, #disagree, #example, #fought, #foxholes, #freedom, #fullmeasure, #government, #greattask, #heartache, #highlyresolve, #honoreddead, #humbled, #Icantimagine, #increased, #inform, #InMemoryof, #justifications, #knock, #last, #lifeontheline, #living, #loss, #lostalovedone, #lovedone, #Memorial, #MemorialDay, #militaryaction, #mission, #nation, #nation-building, #necessary, #neverforget, #newbirth, #nobly, #noteveryoneiscomingback, #opposed, #ourselves, #pacifists, #pain, #poor, #power, #pride, #protection, #remaining, #returning, #safety, #served, #servicemen, #shallnotperish, #silent, #spoke, #staff, #stillbefriends, #struggled, #underGod, #understand, #understood, #unfinishedwork, #unit, #University, #violence, #voice, #War, #warveteran, #wrong, History, Holiday, Jesus, Opinion, Politics, World

Old News

Mar 2

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Old News –

The last couple of weeks of February have been a rough time for me the last several years. There are painful, heart hurting memories which seem to resurface and dealing with these challenging emotions is difficult.

Today I cleaned up our yard after a round of storms and rain this last week. I threw them on a burn pile and set it afire. I also had some old fence pieces and newspapers to burn. The newspapers are from my wife. She is doing her best to understand and begin to use extreme couponing in an effort to save money. I made sure to take old piles of newspaper and watched as the flames began consuming them. I tried reading some of the headlines and articles before the fire reached them and then they were gone.

As the fire leaped into the air I thought about it being old news which was out of date and historical. I also reflected on the memories I’ve struggled with the last few weeks and tried to remind myself that healing and time can also consume the heartache of the past and that our history enlightens our present.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Contemplative

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Tags: #afire, #air, #began, #begin, #being, #blessings, #burn, #cleaned, #consume, #consuming, #couponing, #dealing, #difficult, #effort, #emotions, #enlightens, #extreme, #extremecouponing, #flames, #gone, #headlines, #healing, #heart, #heartache, #historical, #hurting, #last, #leaped, #memories, #newspapers, #oldnews, #outofdate, #painful, #past, #pile, #present, #rain, #reached, #reading, #reflected, #remind, #resurface, #rough, #several, #storms, #struggled, #thewannabesaint.com, #time, #understand, #watched, #years, @BrianLoging, Articles, History, Negative, News, Old, Thought

TheWannabeSaint.com

Essentialist, contemplative, author, advocate, old soul

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No Other Direction

By Surprise

In Memory of

Old News

Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

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TheWannabeSaint.com

Essentialist, contemplative, author, advocate, old soul

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No Other Direction

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Closer

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By Surprise

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In Memory of

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Old News

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Brian Loging, OSBO

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