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What We Leave Behind
What We Leave Behind –
YouTube can be infuriating with the number of commercials and advertisements it has between videos. Every now and then though there will be one that gets its hooks into your brain. This song played several times today while I was mowing the grass and when I finished I came in and looked it up (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0czMhagZgwY). It’s a simple video of a man going to the beach and jumping off a high cliff into the ocean below. He then crosses it off a list of things he wants to do.
There is a note at the beginning of the song. It’s hard to read but it says:
Dear Friends, My name is Fred Rister. For those who don’t know me, I have had cancer 9 times in 30 years. The one I am fighting this time around will be the last since I know for sure; my days are numbered. I have decided to release a song called, “I Want a Miracle” in which all proceeds will go to the Kidney Cancer Association, with whom my physician, Dr. Escudier, from the Gustave Roussy Institute is affiliated. This project is very important to me because it is a bit of hope for all those fighting cancer. Whether you donate directly or download/stream the song your support is immensely appreciated.
This is: “I Want a Miracle” “Music is therapy” #FredRister
The note made me pause and feel his pain, heartache, kindness and giving spirit. He’s dying of cancer. It is the ninth time he’s faced this dreaded disease in thirty years. He knows his days are numbered and instead of blaming, sulking, being too frightened to do anything he wrote a song to be shared and a hope to be kindled.
In this world where everything seems terrible someone using their last days to touch and help others is a wanted and needed gesture that we all could follow. Whether we know it or not our days are limited. What we do with every moment can have an impact on those who follow. Our lives should be spent making each moment count instead of counting down our moments until the end.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannebsaint.com
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Touching Life
Touching Life –
I watched a video today about a woman, who is afraid of spiders, try to get past her fear by being in the same room, sitting close to one, and eventually touching one and allowing it to touch her. It was an interesting study of fear, facing what frightens us and hopefully overcoming it.
Being fearful keeps us from participating in all life has to offer. As someone with an anxiety disorder, I am acutely acquainted with fear, in fact, its one of my worst friends. I don’t know the source of my fear. One of the reasons I go to therapy is to hopefully one day discover it. Perhaps its as simple as a chemical imbalance and the right combination of medicines will mostly alleviate the ball of worry and stress which sits on my stomach most days. Maybe its memories or experiences which I’ve buried and one-day uncovering them will set me on the path to a more lasting peace.
Whatever the path I travel I want it to be toward knowing joy, not fear, connecting not being disconnected, living not simply existing.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Tender Touch
Tender Touch –
I washed a friend’s hair today. That’s a sentence most people don’t type often. It was an interesting experience. Washing my hair isn’t nearly as exciting. I think it’s because I don’t have much hair but also because I do it almost every day. I know how hot I like the water, the amount of shampoo I need, the best way to move my hands and arms so I can do a good and quick job, the pressure it takes to get my head and hair clean but not so hard I hurt myself. When washing another’s hair you aren’t sure about any of these things so you are more hesitant, you listen to their instructions intently, careful you are cleaning their head and hair but not scrubbing their scalp off! I did a decent job, spilling some water on their shirt, needed more shampoo because they actually have hair, but overall they were a satisfied client.
Human interaction comes in all shapes and sizes. We connect with each other in a variety of ways. Hopefully, we come out the better for it afterward. Often we take these joinings for granted. We interact with each other and forget how important these linkings are to who and what we are and become. It’s a delicate dance to make sure we don’t violate each other’s space and move together allowing each one to lead and follow, instruct and listen, b secure enough in the relationship to simply be or change entirely.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Refelction
Reflection –
As I wrote about yesterday, this has been a somber and low-key Christmas for my family. It’s been a crazy, hectic, sorrowful month. Today is Christmas day and it feels like Christmas, sort of. My mind can’t help but think about Christmases which have gone by when the family was all together and laughter and joy filled the air.
I was reflecting on Christmas past this morning as my wife slept in. Being a couple who can’t have children we’ve never had the “privilege” of little ones waking us up at 4 or 5 in the morning declaring; “Santa’s come and it’s time to open presents!” Nevertheless, I am married to a woman who loves Christmas and even in the midst of this year’s challenge to find the Christmas spirit she has filled our home with laughter, reindeer antlers on her head, too many Christmas carols and songs, baked goodies and more. She’s been this way since I’ve known her and the only Christmas I can remember her not celebrating was when her mother passed, December 8, 2006. She is in many ways a light in my darkness.
So today I am thankful for the gift of a beautiful, fantastical, in touch with her inner-child wife who won’t and can’t be stopped from bringing a little Christmas cheer.
Best. Gift. Ever.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Strangled
Strangled –
I don’t like wearing ties. They aren’t my preferred mode of dress. When I am forced to wear ties I feel as though I am being strangled and somewhere in my mind, there’s a countdown clock ticking to when I can loosen and take it off.
I exclusively wear ties for important events. Weddings (maybe) unless I am the minister officiating the wedding (then definitely), presentations for the company I work for (if the people I am presenting to are expected to be wearing them) and funerals (always). I own enough ties to do each of these a few times a year along with one suit.
Life is meant to be experienced, enjoyed, savored. Even when wearing a tie, or going or doing something we’d rather not be going or doing, it is a moment never to be repeated. Every instant is an opportunity to allow it to exist, to be what it is going to be, without our controlling or manipulating. Nothing lasts forever. Not even wearing ties.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Touch
Touch –
Today I attended a luncheon that was a kick starter to a faith-based community council. There were only a few but a lot of passion for the needy that exist mostly in the shadows of the church buildings and our communities. Folks with mental health issues, addictions, homeless, poverty-stricken, those living in the cycle of unfortunate circumstances and poor choices. These are the one we are hoping to help.
At the meeting, one of the attendees brought a service dog. The dog had been trained to be petted for anxiety reduction and assist a special needs person. It was a beautiful black Labrador Retriever. I couldn’t get enough of petting this pooch. It definitely made me feel better to scratch its head, rub his chin, stroke his back.
The power of touch is amazing. It can calm or incite, show acceptance or intimidate, display love or push away. There are people all around us who need their lives touched. Not just physically but emotionally, mentally and spiritually. These are the ones who most avert their eyes or cross the street to avoid. These shadow dwellers, who have a way of making most feel uncomfortable, need the touch of love, hope, and change.
Most of us can’t give them everything they need to get back on their feet and walking the path of life again, but together we can do more, touch more, give grace more, than one person alone.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
Temporary
Feb 25
Posted by thewannabesaint.com
Temporary –
The sun, which shone so brightly the last couple of days filling my spirit and mind with images of spring, is gone today, replaced by gray, gloomy clouds. My wife’s flu bug which bit her last week seems to have been squished and she’s on the mend. The weekend is winding down and soon a new week will start.
I commented to a friend today about a photograph taken about 4 years ago that; “sometimes it seems long ago and other times yesterday.” I think that’s life. When younger I was told; “time moves faster as you get older.” It didn’t make sense to me then but now, on the other side of the hill (midlife), it’s a boulder rolling faster and faster.
The present moment, where we long to continuously dwell, is the one place that brings thankfulness, humility, and acceptance. We are thankful because we are only “grass that whithers, blows away, and its place remembers it no more.” Every moment is precious, even the ones we’d rather not experience. We are humbled by the brevity of ourselves and the things around us. Nothing is permanent which we can touch, see, feel, hear, or taste. “All things are passing away.” By accepting this truth we can choose to consciously, deliberately, live leaving nothing unfinished, and embrace this flash of light we call being alive.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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