Blog Archives
Silent
Silent –
I read an interview this week of an actress who was verbally attacked by a well-known director this summer. He insulted her current movie and her by proxy. Her response? She didn’t say anything. She kept silent in spite of the fact that her movie was one of the summer’s biggest blockbusters. In the last few weeks, she was asked why she never responded to the criticism of the director. She answered simply; “I didn’t want to give him the attention he was looking for.”
Two or three days ago a journalist began publicizing his book about the president. The book and the author weren’t at all flattering of the man or the job he’s doing as our nation’s leader. In response, the president responded with insults, negative tweets, threatening lawsuits and gave the author what he wanted most; more attention. I’ve heard even the most ardent supporters of the president question why he couldn’t leave it alone?
Wisdom teaches us to know when to speak and when to stay silent. If you’re wondering which to do a favorite quote of mine is; “No one regrets a rushed word unspoken.” The truth is we talk too much. We are too quick to defend ourselves. Most can’t handle a perceived slight. Our tongues and lips seem to be “at the ready” to do battle with whoever and whatever insults, belittles, or challenges our view of the world or ourselves.
Wisdom reveals that silence and patience are signs of maturity in those who have a strong sense of who and what they are as a person.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Fickled
Fickled –
Yesterday evening, Beth and I went to pick up an antique desk from a friend who isn’t using it anymore. We placed it in the back of the truck, tied it down and headed home. We were a little over an hour from the house when a few rain drops hit the window. “Uh-oh!” we thought and both said. It was raining and we didn’t have the desk covered for protection against water. The sprinkles stopped and we breathed a sigh a relief. As we continued the drive we talked about how most days, especially evenings, we wanted rain and were thankful. However, because we had the desk we desired the rain to “go away and come again some other day.” We both agreed we were fickled human beings.
Fickled is a funny word but it can be a difficult obstacle to overcome. I’ve known and have been fickled in my life, vacillating back and forth between opinions, ideas, and judgments. Most of the time being fickled can be overlooked but there should be, must be, things upon which we would stake our possessions, livelihood, and lives. If we are fickled about everything then we will stand for nothing.
This week, perhaps more than any other week in recent history, being fickled about bias, hate, bigotry, and racism has been on full display. I believe these are areas in which there can be no wiggle room, no area for retreat. This is where people must draw the line, stand at the risk of everything because if we don’t there may be nothing left to protect.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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True and Real?
True and Real? –
I have many friends who are afraid and angry at the state of the nation. They are from both sides of the political spectrum. Fear is the breeding ground for anger and it seems to be everywhere. A friend of mine posted a controversial post this week which was lauded and hated by the differing sides. Folks are digging in and whatever can be used to prove their perspective is “on the side of angels” is put forth not to engage in conversation but to end the conversation by being right and the other being wrong.
I had an interesting conversation with another friend this week who basically asked me; “Which side is right? Is there a true right and wrong?” After a long pause, I said; “I think there is but I’m not sure we ever discover it.” I went on to tell him we are too impacted by our genetics, our growing up in certain places, the beliefs of those who raised us and imprinted upon us, our environment, where we grew up. Add to these the countless experiences each and every day that we use to solidify our opinions, friendships, and families and the other people who surround us. All of these make us who we are and shape the way we think, believe and live.
I finished up by telling him; “Wisdom teachings tell us that we may not ever be free of these countless influences so that we can find an “objective reality” but if we can become aware of our natural tendencies, biases, and preferences we are one step closer, one person closer, to a world of peace.”
“The mark of a wise mind is the ability to think a thought and not necessarily believe it to be true or real.” #Aristotle
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Improving Upon Silence?
Improving Upon Silence? –
A couple of weeks ago I tried having a conversation with a man who wouldn’t stop yelling. His rant was about everything and nothing. No matter how I tried I couldn’t get him to listen, to move beyond his tantrum and into a dialogue. When his hour was up I wished him well but wasn’t sure the session did anyone, including myself, any good.
Tonight in our Incarcerated Father’s class I spoke to the participants about moving beyond anger and into a productive exchange with others. The steps are; respect for the other, listen to the other, be open to constructive criticism and have the self-awareness to know or hear what needs to change in your life and respond positively.
As I reflected on the lesson I thought about the man from a few weeks ago, my Facebook feed over the last several months, protest marches, inaugurations, and too many other instances where people are yelling, complaining, talking incessantly and rarely, if ever, shutting up.
Silence is in short supply these days. If someone doesn’t stop yacking and start listening soon things are only going to get worse.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Think
Think –
Someone asked me today; “Why aren’t you more politically active in your social media posts? It’s hard to know exactly where you stand.” I explained, best I could, that arguing with people over the internet, or in person, using talking points heard on the radio, tv, podcast, seen on TV and online doesn’t seem a good use of time and time is what life’s made of.
Another friend asked his Facebook posse what Donald Trump would have to do to make him seem more favorable to those who didn’t vote for him. People quickly chimed in with compliments and insults, agendas and wish lists. I didn’t post but I’ve thought about it today and the answer for me was what I’d also like to see in myself, my friends, my acquaintances and certainly my president; humility, repentance, forgiveness, mercy, grace, kindness.
The last part of my answer would be; I’d like people to use their minds and their spirits. I’d like each of us to think for ourselves not regurgitate what we’ve heard or seen but use our brains and voices, filtered by wisdom and experience to speak and do good to each other.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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About Last Night
About Last Night –
Yesterday evening, I sat in front of our fire pit and thought about all the chaos which was happening in our elections. I didn’t watch TV or know the election results until I woke up this morning. I was surprised by who won but not surprised that either one of them lost.
Out of 300+ million people in our nation somehow we possibly chose the worst two to be eligible for president. Maybe that’s an over-simplification but I do know the relentless negative campaigning, neighbor yelling at neighbor, hurtful and wrong things said to each other behind the disguise of social media; people telling each other why they’re wrong, misguided or just dumb, has worn me out. So last night I couldn’t bring myself to keep up with the results nor hear, read, more unkindness, acrimonious name-calling.
Today, I’m still exhausted from the worry of the past 18 months and the new anxiety of next 4 years. No matter what side you fall on, the realization that our world is going to hell isn’t a surprise. No matter who sits in the oval office they have an incredible and indescribably difficult and dangerous job leading our nation and the world. I don’t envy them but I do hope and pray that beneath all the bluster and campaign promises, foolish words, immaturity, asinine behavior, there is a man who allows the weight of it all to settle on his shoulders. I pray the weight will drive him to his knees and turn arrogance into humility, rivers of words into silent wisdom, a growing realization that to save our nation he will have to sacrifice who he is, at his core and from those ashes will rise the leader we all need, not the one we got.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Tasty
Tasty –
“Does not the ear test words as the tongue tastes food?” Book of Job
This was an interesting question from my morning reading. It’s visually vibrant to think of the ear tasting words to test whether or not they’re good.
Yesterday my wife tasted some potato salad she made last week to know if it was still good. No crinkled face meant it was good to eat. A couple of weeks ago I left a drink in the truck and a hot day later grabbed it instead of one I just bought, took a big swig, and almost spit it out all over the truck cab. It was not good.
I think it would be a good thing if we when we spoke words which hurt, insulted, were untrue, our faces would match what we said, the intent in which they were given. It would’ve been especially interesting to watch the Presidential debate last night if this were a reality.
Our words are powerful. They are stronger than fists, guns and can wound more severely. In a culture where words fly out of people’s mouths, from social media, radio, TV, and internet sites, its good to imagine mean, hostile, judgmental, evil words contorting a person’s face to match their speech. It also begs the questions; “What type of words do we speak? What would our face look like?”
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Fickled Thing
Last night I attended a local sheriff’s training event called; “Citizen’s Academy.” It is a ten week course that anyone in the community can sign up for to learn more about the law enforcement work being done in our community. The focus for last night’s session dealt with the county jail. I was invited because of our company’s work with the residents of the jail and the classes I teach to incarcerated fathers.
Before it was my turn to present the Chief Deputy spoke about the jail, the residents, how they cook the food, book and transport residents, the contraband they find, the amount of people they house in a given year. Following this, some of the correctional officers, their commanders and medical staff shared stories about what everyday life is like working with an incarcerated population. The stories were mostly negative, interesting and scary. Most people don’t like being locked up and can show it in some unseemly ways. I listened as they described their typical shift experiences and reflected on the different atmosphere and environment I’ve experienced in the dad classes.
Most of the men I’ve taught have been respectful and willing to learn. They’ve opened themselves up to a new way thinking, doing and being. The correctional officers see the worst and, to survive, are trained to expect difficulties and how to diffuse conflict. I on the other hand sit with guys for a couple of hours a week and mostly receive their best efforts. They don’t volunteer to go to jail but volunteer to take the class. They don’t want to be stuck in a cell all day but do want to come to a different setting whether for a new way to think or simply a new set of walls to stare at for an hour.
It’s amazing how two sets of people can look at the same place, people, circumstances and see things vastly different. Perspective is a fickled thing.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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This Lane Only
There’s something about visiting a town for the first time and understanding their traffic patterns. This morning I traveled to Tullahoma, TN for a legislative bruncheon at the National Guard Armory. It was an opportunity for legislators to inform the audience of mental health and family wellness advocates about their progress over the last year and their plans for 2016. It wasn’t non-stop fun but it was worth the hour and half trip.
On the way home I was approaching a traffic light while driving on a two-way highway. Almost to the intersection I noticed only one lane went the way I needed to go. The GPS showed me where to proceed but not how. I was surrounded by traffic, did not see any signs which would offer help, and had to wait and see what direction was in my future. Fortunately, the lane to my right was a turn only and the vehicles in my lane were able to go straight and I made it home safely without any further anxious moments.
As I proceeded through the intersection I thought about all the times we needlessly worry about things which are out of our control. Sometimes life takes us in one direction or in another and we’re just along for the ride. We may fight it, try to control, coerce and cajole it but in the end; we go with the flow because we don’t have a choice. There are times when it doesn’t go well for us and others it turns out ok, maybe even better.
The key to contentment is allowing life to unfold in front of us and trusting the path maker to take us home.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
