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You’re Forgiven, You’re Free

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You’re Forgiven, You’re Free –

Woke up with a bad headache this morning. After finishing some work I laid down on the couch and closed my eyes. As I rested I thought about the Kavanagh/Ford dueling testimonies yesterday. An image based on the Gospel, According to Saint John, Chapter 8:4-11 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+8%3A4-11&version=NRSV) came to mind.

In the story overzealous, law-abiding, religious leaders bring a woman caught in adultery. They want to know what Jesus thinks should be done. Instead of quoting statutes, arrogant platitudes and taking sides, he instead bends down and begins writing in the sand. (Legend states he was writing down the sins of those who stood around demanding justice be done.) Jesus, never looking up says; “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” He hears nothing but the thud of stones as the accusers leave. He then stands asks the woman where her accusers had gone, she didn’t know, and he told her to; “Go and sin no more.” (You’re free.)

Between dreaming and thinking I saw in my mind Jesus going in to the Senate Confirmation Hearing yesterday. There’s no sand so he brings a White Board. Everyone’s bewildered and irritated at this man causing a scene and taking up their precious time and those watching. This is important! Cameras are flashing, capturing it all for the world to see. The protest gets louder and then Jesus begins writing. First the White Board is facing the politicians, then the reporters, finally the seated crowd behind the two victims and accusers. He finally looks away from the board to the crowd and says: “Let she or he who is without sin be the first to judge.” He turns to the Judicial Nominating Committee and adds; “Or cast a “yes”, “no” vote.” One by one the politicians, reporters, onlookers, and anyone else in the room leave. Now Jesus stares at the two people, human beings, who are both being used one way or another. He speaks in a calm, loving, voice; “You are free. You are forgiven. Both of you go and sin no more.”

In my dream, I can’t see which one he says what to but I’m sure he’s speaking to us all!

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
For more thoughts, reflections and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com

Tribalism

Aug 28

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Tribalism –

It is incredibly easy to start an argument these days. Declare your allegiance to a political party, voice your opinion on an issue, talk about who you voted for or why you didn’t vote for the other person, accuse someone of not caring because they don’t share the same convictions you do.

I am amazed, but not really, how terribly divided our world, nations, states, communities and even our families are over matters of the mind and heart. We are so quick to pick a fight, defend our position, be suspect of anyone and everyone.

I was reflecting today over what it will take to bring us back together again. Then I wondered if we had ever, truly, been together. Maybe all the hate and vitriol had been under the surface all along and we couldn’t keep it hidden any longer. I don’t like thinking that way. I’d rather believe we, humanity, are going through a rough spot and, in time, something deeper will bring us back together. To be honest I don’t have much hope in what’s deeper being what’s better. Throughout human history we have hated, warred, fought against, killed and used one another to further our own goals with little thought of how it impacts the other.

Wisdom teaches humility first. Serving, helping, putting our neighbor (hint: everyone’s our neighbor, including our “enemies”) and their needs above our own. It doesn’t seem likely to happen soon, if ever, but it starts with the choice to love, be kind, refusing to see the other as separate, apart from us. We are human. If we could only find our purpose, our “being”.

For more reflections, posts, and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com

blessings,
@BrianLoging

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Reach!

Jul 12

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Reach!

He was trying his best to reach the last few boxes of Crunch ‘n Munch on the store shelves. I was checking off items on my list and heard him jumping. I turned around and asked the boy; “You got it?” He responded in the affirmative as he grabbed one and took it down. Another second and he was jumping again. I was about to leave when a meek voice rang in my ears; “Can you help me?” “Sure,’ I replied, walked over, grabbed the next to the last box and handed it to him. ‘Do you want the other one?'” He shook his head “no” and then ran out of sight. I smiled and hoped he enjoyed his snack.

I reflected on the young boy’s attempt to attain what was out of reach and how easy it was for me to go over, grab it and hand it to him. I thought about how some things are easy for some and harder for others. What might take all the strength one has to barely, perhaps never, accomplish a difficult task, others can do effortlessly. At first glance, it might not seem fair but I think it highlights our need for each other. We are made to work together, to be the strength to another’s weakness, to give courage when one is about to give up, to be their legs to help them stand, their hands to grab or let go, to connect when all else seems distant and unattainable. Of course, it works the other way when we are in need as well. Only together can we fully live and accomplish all we were meant to be.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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The Source

Jun 14

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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The Source –

Yesterday I wrote about a foul odor that was emanating from my workshop. (https://thewannabesaint.com/2018/06/13/somthing-stinketh/) Today I found the source of the stench. I was looking in the workshop and noticed an odd-looking rope sticking out from under a roll of landscaping fence. However, upon closer inspection, it wasn’t a piece of rope but about three and a half feet of a five-foot king snake. It must’ve thought it was a great place to nest and began working, wiggling, wrestling his way into it only to get stuck and have no way to back out. The snake had to have been there for days if not weeks. I will spare you the smell and how the lifeless body of the reptile looked. I drug the fencing and the snake outside to give the odor some time to dissipate before I cut around and remove the decaying body.

Being stuck is not what we’d choose and there are times we get into places we can’t get out of ourselves. For those of us blessed to have others who’d help and we should count our blessings. I sat in a meeting today where a once homeless woman spoke about her family being stuck after sickness, financial hardship and employment issues. With thankfulness in her voice, she spoke of a church that took her family in and helped them rebuild their lives.

We are surrounded by people who are caught between an unforgiving rock and a hellish hard place. They need us to see, offer a kind word, a helping hand and a way out if they are to survive.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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In Memory of

May 28

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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In Memory of –

This is a strange holiday for me. It’s not strange in the sense that I don’t understand it or think it necessary but strange because I did not serve in the armed services nor lost a loved one while in military service. I don’t know what it’s like to charge up a hill with my unit, share foxholes with people who I depend on for my life, find the courage to carry out orders that put my life and others in danger and know not everyone is coming back from the mission. I don’t know what it is to get a knock on my door, a phone call, by servicemen or women to inform me a loved is not returning home. I can’t imagine the pain, heartache, loss, or pride that comes with Memorial Day.

I once served on a staff with a war veteran and we liked to talk politics, history, and war. He had seen action in the military while I sat in the safety of a university classroom. We’d have conversations about the justifications of war. I’d voice my opinion that Christians should follow Jesus’ example and be pacifists, opposed to all violence and then he’d tell me when and why I was wrong. I didn’t agree with everything he said about the military, nation-building, and protection but I was also humbled and silent as he spoke. I understood that he had served, put his life on the line for us to disagree and still be friends, still call ourselves by the same name; Americans.

“The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”
#AbrahamLincoln #GettysburgAdress

Blessings & Thank you,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Sounds Like

Apr 20

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Sounds Like –

Twenty years ago this week an F3 tornado tore through downtown Nashville, Tennessee (http://www.wkrn.com/news/f-3-tornado-hit-nashville-20-years-ago_20180416214213/1126239206) We weren’t living in Tennessee at that time but we happened to be in Nashville chaperoning hundreds of teenagers at an annual talent and skills competition on the campus of Trevecca Nazarene University. When the announcement came down that all were supposed to seek shelter several of us ran to the different ball fields, tennis courts and other places where events were being held. Making sure to get everyone we saw to safety without a lot of chit-chat was important, however, one young teenage girl stopped and with fear in her eyes and voice asked me if we were in the path of the tornado? Guiding her inside as I answered; “I don’t know.” “How will we know?” she inquired. Not being a meteorologist I repeated what I once had been told; “A tornado sounds like a train!” Unbeknownst to my inquisitor, there was a set of railroad tracks behind the campus of Trevecca. At the exact time, I told her a tornado sounded like a train a train going past the school sounded its horn. “I hear the tornado! I hear the tornado!” I peered into her fear brimmed eyes, smiled and said; “Sweetie, tornadoes may sound like trains but they don’t come equipped with horns.” I got her with the rest of the students in a basement, shut the door and stood outside watching, listening for the tornado and laughing, thankful that even in this storm of chaos a light of joy can shine through.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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Gathered Together

Mar 24

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

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Gathered Together –

All over the world today youths and people of every color, creed, and nationality, clergy, organizational representatives, politicians, movie and music stars, are gathered together to protest gun violence and by their voices and presence hope to convince those who have the power to do something about people dying. You don’t have to agree with their position to respect their right and motivation to come together and show their solidarity and support. In this crazy, mixed up and messed up world at least they are doing something.

“Decisions are made by those who show up.” -Anonymous

It is amazing what a group of people, gathered together, with peace, justice, kindness, and determination can accomplish. Too often we sit on the sidelines and voice our opinions, make fun or mock those who think differently than us and are doing what their heart, emotions, and spirits, say is right and good. Perhaps we’ll make mistakes, maybe our ideas aren’t totally thought out and ordered. However, can you imagine an international movement where everyone decided to take action, do good, seek justice and change the world for the better? I can.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Leadership

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Wasted Minds

Feb 24

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Wasted Minds –

This has been a tumultuous week following the shooting at Parkland High School in Florida. People have chosen sides on the gun debate and have used this tragedy as an example as to why they are on the side of the angels. I’ve seen countless posts about gun rights and gun restrictions. I have posted my opinion on the gun debate on my blog in the last couple of weeks if you care to know where I stand on this cultural, moral and spiritual issue. Everyone has their argument at the ready. They grab screenshots, tweet, put a photo on Instagram, use memes, videos and Facebook are so full of posts on the issue it’s hard to find anything else.

I think it’s an issue which needs many conversations. There’s not an easy solution and anyone who thinks there is hasn’t thought about it enough. What doesn’t need to happen is more arguing over the subject. We are a divided people in our country and it seems every “Breaking News” headline on whatever channel we watch, or website we read, erodes our relationships with those with differing views more.

Whatever side we’re on, opinion we possess, idea we espouse, we should also respect and love our neighbor. If we can’t then our voice is wasted, nothing changes and the world continues to go to hell.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life, Mindfulness

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Behind the Eyes

Feb 22

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Behind the Eyes –

I saw a picture of me from several years ago today. As most people, I don’t care for my photo to be taken but when it is I “grin and bear it.” Looking at the picture today the smile was there but it wasn’t genuine. There was also something missing in the eyes. There was no light behind them. They were hollow and sad. I was surrounded by friends in the photo, good friends. It should’ve been a time of stories, thankfulness, and memories but I can tell in my eyes it wasn’t any of those for me, only a blank stare and pasted smile. This was about a year before I was diagnosed with a Chronic Major Depressive Disorder.

The journey over these last years has been a hard one and there is still far to go but looking back I can see where I’ve come from and this does bring me relief. I’m not stuck in the same place even though sometimes it feels that way.

I’ve been watching a documentary titled; “The Kingdom of Us.” (https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/oct/08/the-kingdom-of-us-review-netflix-teenagers-lucy-cohen) It is the story of a family recovering from their father’s suicide. They listen to recordings of his voice, often in song, and watch videos of him and the family. They ask each other repeatedly, “Look at him! He’s so sad. Why didn’t we see it?” I know the answer; “because he didn’t want it to be seen.” We’ve all been there and done that; plastered on a smile when our hearts are breaking inside. We’ve pushed on even though everything feels broken inside.

Too often we take people’s word when we ask; “How are you?” and they reply; “Fine’ or ‘Good.” The key to discovering the truth is asking more than once and keep at it until they feel you might actually want to know.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in #depression, Mental Health

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Stolen

Feb 14

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Stolen –

Earlier this week someone took something that didn’t belong to them. I knew who it was but had to figure out how to ask for the item back without humiliating or embarrassing the person in front of his peers. At first, I asked the group if anyone had forgotten to return all items they had used. Nothing. So then, standing next to the man who had the item, I said; “Okay, who has (insert item name)?” The man started to laugh and gave it to me while the other people in the group laughed with him. “I almost got away with it,” he said with a chuckle in his voice. I breathed a sigh of relief because I knew I couldn’t let him walk away and a confrontation could have a detrimental impact on the progress we’ve made. Obviously, he’s still a work in progress but aren’t we all?

Good choices. It’s the cornerstone of all the services our organization does with males. Without good choices, life is harder than it needs to be and can exact a tremendous and painful toll. Old habits, ways of thinking, choosing the best isn’t easy but not impossible. Grace, kindness and an opportunity for forgiveness are things we all need.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

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I Insist

Jan 16

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

I Insist –

A few days ago I posted a political article on my Facebook page. It was a snarky article but I thought it spoke beyond the snark and pointed to a larger and important point. It didn’t take long for people on both sides of the political landscape to begin voicing their opinions. By the time I woke up the next morning my Facebook feed was littered with exuberant cheers and bellicose jeers. After reading a few comments on the article I deleted it. I don’t have any desire to be one more voice in the cacophony of political arguments that dominate our national disagreements.

It was a stark reminder that we live in perilous times where debate and discussion have disappeared and have been replaced by something else that’s a mean, vicious, attack and take no prisoners approach to others who have a different opinion, view on politics, world affairs, life in general and specific.

I don’t want to be in this place personally or culturally. Somehow we must find our way back from allowing our identities to be attached to fleeting things; people, regions, political parties, church affiliation, and cultural icons. We need to discover who we are by journeying inward not abdicating ourselves to what’s outside of us. It’s our only hope for survival and peace.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mindfulness

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Today

Dec 19

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Today –

I was speaking with a friend this week who is incredibly busy. So busy it seems things that need to get done will never get accomplished. As we spoke I heard the hurry in their voice. “I’ve got to do this, then that, then the next!” Simply listening made me tired. I know the feeling of having too much stuff to get done and that all the time in the world doesn’t seem enough. I also know when I feel like that, take on that burden, I am stepping out of mindfulness and stillness. I am allowing the world and its chaotic rhythm sweep me away to a place where I don’t belong.

After my friend’s list was given I told them it sounded like they needed a nap, a time of stillness and letting go of lists, chores, to-do’s and embracing a still and mellow attitude. “Things will get done,’ I told my friend, ‘do what you can and leave what you can’t. Eventually, all the important stuff will be taken care of and all the rest? Who cares.”

If we aren’t careful we can fill our lives with so much to do that nothing gets done, not even living.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Bright

Nov 17

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for buddhist thought of the day

Brightly –

The sun was shining brightly today as if it had been hidden by clouds and couldn’t take it anymore. Bursting through, nothing holding it back, it lit up the blue sky. Now, after showing off, the sun is setting and only remnants of light remain of its beauty.

I have a friend going through a difficult time, battling a disease that will sooner or later kill him. He’s doing everything he can but our bodies are not made to last forever nor beat every enemy we face. I talked with him today on the phone and his voice sounded stronger than in days past. It was good to hear and I laughed as he told me one of his jokes. The last several weeks have been tough, watching him struggle, rise to meet one challenge only to be met by a new and a more difficult obstacle. No one can keep going no matter how much strength they possess.

Today for a moment he shone brightly and I will keep that memory with me as he moves forward.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #after, #battling, #beat, #blessings, #bodies, #brightly, #Bursting, #challenge, #difficult, #disease, #enemy, #forever, #forward, #friend, #going, #goodtohear, #hidden, #holding, #jokes, #keep, #keepgoing, #kill, #last, #laughed, #light, #meet, #memory, #moredifficult, #moves, #new, #nothing, #notmade, #obstacle, #possess, #remain, #remnants, #rise, #several, #shining, #showingoff, #soonerorlater, #sounded, #strength, #stronger, #struggle, #sunissetting, #through, #time, #tough, #voice, #watching, #weeks, beauty, moment

Directions

Oct 11

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Image result for on star

Directions –

I was listening to a podcast earlier today and included was a story by the maker of the podcast about needing directions. He normally depended upon OnStar or a similar company for getting directions to a place he hadn’t been before. However, when he pressed the button which should’ve connected him to the service he discovered his subscription had run out. After many phone calls, credit card numbers, VIN numbers and a host of other hurdles he still doesn’t have service and doesn’t know what to do! The person telling the story is a funny guy and told it in a humorous way but you could tell it was also aggravating to him to put this much time and energy into it and still have nothing to show for it.

Each of us has a voice in our heads which tells us how to best navigate the path of life. For some, the voice is positive and good with directions. However, for others, the voice is negative and gives us directions which are wrong and we end up frustrated and desperate. These voices come from

These voices come from a myriad of places; people and places we grew up, mental health issues, trauma in our young or adult lives, being with an individual or group of people who treat us poorly. The voice can tell us We’re stupid, lead us to travel in circles never getting anywhere, or traumatize us to the point we can’t move.

Understanding where our voices come from and being able to identify if they are positive or negative can go a long way in making sure we are able to live a life of purpose and vision. If we have voices which aren’t good for us we can find others. Having a “subscription” to the right voices goes a long way in keeping us on the path toward health and wellness.

blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Mental Health

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Tags: # understanding, #able, #adult, #anywhere, #blessings, #circles, #find, #getting, #grewup, #group, #identify, #individual, #issues, #Keeping, #life, #lives, #longway, #mentalhealth, #move, #myriad, #never, #path, #places, #poorly, #positive, #stupid, #subscription, #trauma, #traumatize, #treat, #vision. #goodforus, #voice, #voices, #wellness, #young, Health, Lead, Negative, People, purpose, Travel

Losing My Voice

Mar 2

Posted by thewannabesaint.com

Last week a sick bug knocked me down and stole my energy, motivation and my weekend. I am recovering but the one thing I still haven’t gotten back is my voice. It’s going in and out doesn’t take much for me to sound like I am entering puberty all over again. This week I have also been scheduled to give presentations to varying groups, along with the classes I teach, and so protecting what little voice I have has been a priority. I am trying to keep my throat moist, mouth shut, not speak unless I have to, not sing along with the radio and have rescheduled a few appointments to avoid any unnecessary vocal use. I have a class this evening and a lecture to give tomorrow then a few days of good rest and recovery. Hopefully, my voice will be better by the end of the weekend.

I’ve reflected today on being extra vigilant about not speaking. I’ve avoided giving unsolicited advice, passed on putting my two cents into a conversation, kept quiet when I might normally insert a joke or insight. My extra words don’t seem to have been missed and when it’s been pertinent to say something I used a careful few when normally have may have been more generous.

I begin to wonder how the world might change if more people were afraid of losing their voice?

blessings,

@Bri anLoging (Twitter)

http://www.thewannabesaint.com

Posted in Life

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Tags: #change. #careful, #sick, #voice, #wisdom

TheWannabeSaint.com

Essentialist, contemplative, author, advocate, old soul

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Losing My Voice

Brian Loging, OSBO

@BrianLoging

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Essentialist, contemplative, author, advocate, old soul

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Brian Loging, OSBO

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