Blog Archives
Tribalism
Tribalism –
It is incredibly easy to start an argument these days. Declare your allegiance to a political party, voice your opinion on an issue, talk about who you voted for or why you didn’t vote for the other person, accuse someone of not caring because they don’t share the same convictions you do.
I am amazed, but not really, how terribly divided our world, nations, states, communities and even our families are over matters of the mind and heart. We are so quick to pick a fight, defend our position, be suspect of anyone and everyone.
I was reflecting today over what it will take to bring us back together again. Then I wondered if we had ever, truly, been together. Maybe all the hate and vitriol had been under the surface all along and we couldn’t keep it hidden any longer. I don’t like thinking that way. I’d rather believe we, humanity, are going through a rough spot and, in time, something deeper will bring us back together. To be honest I don’t have much hope in what’s deeper being what’s better. Throughout human history we have hated, warred, fought against, killed and used one another to further our own goals with little thought of how it impacts the other.
Wisdom teaches humility first. Serving, helping, putting our neighbor (hint: everyone’s our neighbor, including our “enemies”) and their needs above our own. It doesn’t seem likely to happen soon, if ever, but it starts with the choice to love, be kind, refusing to see the other as separate, apart from us. We are human. If we could only find our purpose, our “being”.
For more reflections, posts, and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com
blessings,
@BrianLoging
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Pile It On!
Pile It On!
Earlier today I had to make a run to the Refuse and Recycle Station because we have been trying to downsize and minimize our belongings. The truck, as a result, was full and I needed to empty it before tomorrow. When I pulled into the station the person in charge told me that the dumpster was full but if I would back my truck up to it I could throw my stuff on top. “Pile it on!” is what he said and what I did.
Afterward, I wondered about all the stuff we collect and surround ourselves with in our homes, vehicles, pockets, and purses. We have drawers filled with clothes we never or seldom wear, closets cluttered with shoes that are collecting dust, sheds, porches, storage units, that are full and yet we continue to; “Pile it on!”
I grow tired of the toys and the treasure I’ve hung on to. I know people need the clothes I don’t wear, the shoes I don’t put on, the other trinkets that invade not enhance my life. Perhaps one of the keys to a more ordered mind is getting rid of the disorder which surrounds us.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Into the Fire
Into the Fire –
I heard a story yesterday about a Roman soldier who fell in love with a young, Christian, woman at the height of Rome’s imperial glory. He wanted to marry her but she would not allow him to court her because he wasn’t a follower of Christ. Desperate, the young man began to follow her and eventually discovered where she met other Christians in a secret place outside of Rome. He stayed in the shadows, watched and listened as they sat around a small fire and shared their stories of being followers of Jesus. As he stood there his heart was awakened and a voice echoed inside of him; “You will never know the truth until you step into the light of the fire and have all that is not burned to ash.” This was a great challenge indeed for most Romans believed in many gods, not just one, and followers of Christ were persecuted, and executed for their beliefs. He would have to give up everything for the chance at eternal and temporal love.
As I’ve reflected on this story the last two days I’ve wondered about the power and sacrifice of love. Love is a double-edged sword. It is wonderful and terrifying. Many horrible acts have been done in the name of love. It gives the bearer great courage but can also make one a coward. Those who have loved deeply speak of the joy and sorrow, wholeness and heartbreak, feeling of ecstasy and indescribable pain. True love requires all of us. We can’t give only a portion. We must be all in or never experience the life-changing, mind-bending, chaos that is love. It gives and takes, makes and destroys, assures us and shakes us to our core. There is nothing else that can compare.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Reboot
Reboot –
This afternoon I read an article about a new, vicious malware bug that’s infecting many computers. (Read Article Here: FBI to America: Reboot Your Routers, Right Now – https://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/security/a20918611/vpnfilter-malware-reboot-router/) The Federal Bureau of Investigation released a memo telling home owners, companies and anyone else to do one simple thing, turn your router off and then back on again. A sophisticated designed piece of software but an easy way to shut it down.
I reflected on this effective, yet simple, way to fix this problem and wondered what would happen if we practiced this discipline in other aspects of our lives. People arguing? Shut it down and come back when cooler heads prevail. Stuck and can get no further on a project? Leave it and then come back when your brain’s had a breather. Helping someone who refuses to let you do so? Stop and give it time. Perhaps when you come back new ears and new understanding will greet you. A big decision got you stumped? Walk away and seek the advice of others.
Wisdom is easier if we cease trying to force it simply allow it to be absorbed.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Everything But
Everything But –
This morning I was shopping at Wal-Mart looking for items to check off my list. However, I couldn’t find one so I began to look for an employee to help me. I spotted a man in a white shirt, blue and white ID holder attached to a lanyard. He was about to leave so I called from the opposite end of the aisle; “Excuse me, sir? Could you help me?” He stopped and I walked up to and asked him where the item I needed was located. “Sporting goods. Over there.” and though I thought his answer was vague I thanked him and began looking again. I was frustrated he didn’t narrow down my search. Then, it hit me. The man I spoke to wasn’t a Wal-Mart employee. He just happened to look like one because I was searching for one. I laughed at myself and wondered about the guy who would tell his family and friends today about the stranger who mistook him for someone who worked at Wal-Mart.
Later in the day, I was teaching a Dad’s Community Group and we were learning about listening. One of the ways to be a better listener is to leave your biases out of the conversation. When we’ve made up our mind about a person to or the topic *before* listening and understanding what the person is saying, and feeling, we are not listening. We are only waiting to speak.
Listening is not about criticizing, advice giving, making the conversation about us. Listening is, at its essence, letting a person know they are valued, respected. Too often we make it about everything but…
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Part of the Journey
Part of the Journey –
This morning, driving down the interstate, I witnessed two aftermaths of car accidents. The first one was a car that had gone off the highway, up a hill, crashing into a big road sign. There was police personnel on the scene frantically trying to get the doors of the car open to attend to the injured. Not too many miles and minutes later I saw two Fire Department trucks crossing an overhead bridge and taking an on-ramp to the interstate. My question as to “why?” was answered a mile or two up the road when I spotted a pick-up truck, sitting on the side of the road, engulfed in fire! There was no one in the truck but the flames were high, bright orange and the situation was becoming dangerous.
Aside from praying for those involved, I reflected on the reality that none of the people involved, especially the drivers and passengers, woke up this morning and had these incidents on their agenda. I wondered how far down the list of “ways this day would go” until they got to these experiences.
Wisdom teaches that we cannot know or determine what we will encounter on the road of life. There are days when everything works out perfectly. Others when everything seems to go wrong. Most days are somewhere in the middle. No matter what happens, however, we are taught, and hopefully, learn to accept, it’s all part of the journey.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Curiosity
Curiosity –
Last week I wrote about a family of rabbits living under our shed. Yesterday I discovered one of the parents has become braver. I had let the dog out to take care of his business and realized too late there was a bunny in his vicinity. The rabbit watched Trooper as I watched it. It was perfectly still, on high alert, but didn’t move. Finally, our husky moved on and the rabbit relaxed until Trooper came bounding toward the front door ready to come in. It was then the bunny decided to high-tail it back under the porch.
A couple of weeks ago a rabbit ran right in front of Trooper and he casually looked at it and went about his duties. When he was younger he would’ve chased, and probably caught, the four-legged hopper. However, now that he is almost thirteen years old he conserves his energy for playing with us or sniffing the entire yard.
I wondered if the rabbit doesn’t feel afraid because Trooper has never chased it. Does his natural curiosity override his life-saving senses? As someone who lives with high anxiety, I too am “ready to run, fight, freeze” at the slightest threat. However, after I realize certain people aren’t a threat to harm, insult, shun me I relax and become curious enough to discover connection and relationship.
In a fast-paced busy world, it’s hard to take time to establish connections and build friendships. Hopefully, those of us who are more hesitant won’t be left behind.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Cracked
Cracked –
This morning I went grocery shopping. As one who doesn’t care for shopping, it’s odd to find me roaming the aisles. However, Beth hasn’t been feeling well so it was my husbandly duty. On the list was eggs so I found them and as I was putting them in the cart I remembered to open the carton and check to make sure none were broken. There wasn’t any so I gently put it into the grocery cart and went to find the next item on my list.
When Beth and I were first married we went grocery shopping together one time and were buying eggs. I picked up a carton and placed it in the buggy without checking to see if any were cracked. A kind elderly man standing near us said; “You might want to check those eggs to make sure none are cracked or broken.” We did and there were several that were in bad shape. We thanked the man, retrieved another set of eggs, and from that day forward haven’t forgotten to check the eggs or think about the man who taught us this valuable lesson.
The encounter with the older gentleman might many years ago changed the way we did things. His advice helped us look beneath the surface and double-check what we were taking home. After finishing shopping today I wondered; “Have I done anything this week to change anyone’s life longterm, for the better?”
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Smoldering
Smoldering –
On Saturday afternoon I burned a pile of branches, old newspapers, and other miscellaneous items. The smell of the ashes and leftover debris lingered in the air the next day. I had forgotten to grab an old wooden rocking chair out of the reading room which also needed to be disposed of. When I noticed it Sunday afternoon I wondered if the smoldering ash would still be hot enough to do anything. I took the chair out, broke it into several pieces and put some under the coals, which were still a faint orange, and put the rest in a pile on top. I checked it after a while and noticed the smoke had increased. About an hour later the wood was ablaze with a good flame. It didn’t take long to consume it once the fire restarted. Not too long afterward the chair was gone.
I wrote last week about the struggles I have when February rolls around. Many years have passed but the layers of hurt, anger, and uncertainty still lay buried, ready to ignite when fuel is added. What I try to do, instead of dwelling on the past, is not feed the flames. When I am aware and notice my mind drifting back to the place of pain I find a place to breathe. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. I remind myself of the truth that I cannot change the past but I can be present in the now. Does it always work? No. Does it work? Yes. Maybe one day I will be healed, maybe not, but I don’t want to give up on living today because of the difficulties of yesterday.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Hearing is Believing
Hearing is Believing –
A driver slid off the road during a snowstorm. His cellphone was useless and so he walked until he found a house with an old mule munching on some hay near a barn in the backyard. He knocked on the door of the house and a farmer answered. The man explained his predicament and the farmer said he’d help. The farmer put on a coat, exited the house and walked over to the old mule, put a bridle on it and the three walked back to the car. As they were traveling the driver of the car wondered if the old mule could be of much help. They arrived back at the car and the farmer turned the mule around, attached the rope it carried to the car and to the mule and began yelling; “Go, Joe, go, Fred, go, Jim, go Barney!” The old mule pulled as hard as it could and the car slowly came out of the ditch and back on the road. The driver was amazed and thanked the farmer profusely! Before he drove off he had one question he had to ask the farmer. “Why,’ he inquired, ‘when the mule was pulling the car, did you yell; Go, Joe, go, Fred, go, Jim, go Barney?” “Well,’ replied the old farmer scratching his chin and then petting the mule. ‘Ol’ Barney here doesn’t see too good and I knew if he thought he was pulling by himself he’d never believe he could do it. So, I made him think he was on a team so he’d have the confidence he needed to get the job done.”
Wisdom teaches us that we are never alone. Whatever the situation, it is never so dire that whether we can see it or not, the help we need is there to do what needs to be done.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Often Wrong, Never in Doubt
Often Wrong, Never in Doubt –
This afternoon I watched an episode of a Netflix six-part series on greed called; “Dirty Money” (http://collider.com/dirty-money-trailer-netflix-alex-gibney-martin-shkreli/). The series exposes a few of the most corrupt people and companies in the world.
The episode I saw today was; “DRUG SHORT.” It’s an exposé on Wall Street short-sellers and how they exposed a scam that regulators often overlook, mainly how Big Pharma gouges patients in need of life-saving drugs. It was heartbreaking and infuriating as it made the case that when Wall Street and pharmaceutical companies partner together corruption is sure to result. Greed, profits are why drugs can jump up in price from $15.00 a pill to thousands of dollars. Bottom line it’s about how much money is made for the companies and investors.
During the documentary, someone described another person as; “often wrong but never in doubt.” I’d never heard that phrase before but it’s stuck with me. I’ve wondered how often it pertains to me and to others. In the documentary is referred to investors and the difficulty of playing hunches in the stock market. It also included the companies and their desire to grow bigger by taking risky partnerships with unscrupulous people.
I reflected on our world and how many of us are so sure of our opinions and we never consider another’s point of view. We provide litmus tests for others’ beliefs and if they fail we shake our heads and move on to someone else who’s more like us. I heard another phrase this week that I’d heard before but it was no less potent and true; “If you’re the smartest person in the room. If everyone in the room agrees with you, you’re in the wrong room.”
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Why did the Cow Cross the Road?
Why did the Cow Cross the Road?
There’s nothing quite like living in an agricultural community. You never know what strange experiences each day holds. This morning, on my way to an appointment, I was driving behind a car who suddenly hit their breaks, red lights shining brightly. I quickly hit my brakes and wondered why we were stopping and then noticed a big black cow standing in the right lane. We were on the crest of a hill and couldn’t drive around it for fear of being struck head-on by another vehicle. The driver in front of me beeped her horn, inched toward the animal, even tried shewing it but the bovine paid no attention. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the cow sauntered off the road and into the brush. Shaking my head, I carefully drove past it and wondered how and why it was in this place at this time.
Life’s road is similar to my experience this morning. You never know what’s going to cross your path, stand in your way, refuse to be moved. Many times we try to force, coerce, bribe our way around obstacles but they stubbornly resist movement of any kind. Sometimes the obstacle is the path, the lesson, which needs to be learned before it moves on. Other times life makes less sense and an obstacle is simply a barrier we must figure out how to move or get around.
Whatever the obstacle, no matter how big, imposing, or frustrating we should remember this too shall pass. All things are transient and nothing lasts forever.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Cleaning Out
Cleaning Out –
The last two days my mother and I have been working in my dad’s garage. It may be mom’s house but it will always be dad’s garage. We’ve been going through a lot of stuff which needed to be sorted. By the time we finished I had things to throw away, to keep and the garage was clean and organized.
It was a sad and enjoyable time rummaging through dad’s things. He loved tools and one could tell as we tried collecting them in one place. There was paint from projects long ago completed and recent work. Other items hadn’t been opened yet and we wondered; “What project was he thinking about when he bought this?”
The garage was a sacred space for my father. None of us would’ve dared gone in and rearranged it before his passing. My mom said this morning; “I know it needs to be done but I don’t want to do it.” I understood what she meant. There was a sense of invading another’s domain, eery and holy at the same time. There were items we kept not because they were important but because we just aren’t ready to part with them.
I think this best describes our walk down the path this week. We know we must go on without dad but we just aren’t ready to part with him.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Similar
Similar –
This morning, on my way to a meeting, I was driving on the main two-lane road in Columbia, Tennessee. I was about to switch lanes when I happened to look up to see a red truck all of a sudden swerve from behind me in the right to the left lane. He didn’t use a signal or proceed cautiously. He seemed in a hurry to get wherever he was going and I waited for him to pass before signaling and merging to the other lane. A few minutes later a white truck ahead of us both quickly jumped from the right lane to the left lane in front of the red truck and then turned on his signal to turn on to another road. The driver of the red truck had to slam on his brakes and I watched as he shook his head at the carelessness of the other driver. I wondered if it ever dawned on him that they had driving habits in common? Probably not. I reflected on the fact that we recognize bad driving in others but rarely notice it in ourselves. The rest of the way to my meeting I followed the driver of the red truck and pondered if I was also a bad driver but hadn’t realized it yet.
We often spot the bad in the other person. Judge harshly another’s words and actions. We jump to conclusions and condemnations about people we see for a moment and allow it to become the lens by which we determine their motivations and value. We are too quick to label people as something negative because of a lapse in judgment. Our world doesn’t have a lot of empathy. We don’t want to walk a mile in another’s shoes. It’s easier to pronounce them as bad or stupid, unqualified or evil.
“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.”
-The Master, Gospel of Saint Matthew 7:3-5
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Till Death
Till Death –
Today I had the honor of officiating the marriage between a young woman I have known for a long time and her finance. It was a homespun affair. The bride, groom and myself on the porch, the rest of the family and friends in mismatched chairs under two canopies to keep away the strong wind and drizzle that wouldn’t give up the fight. It was a beautiful wedding. The bride and groom truly cared for each other and it showed. They wrote most of their vows which is the norm these days. However, they still included the phrase; “Till death do us part.” Marriage is supposed to be a lifelong commitment.
Before I arrived at the home where the event was held I pulled into a church parking lot to put on my dress shirt and tie. Afterwards, since I was running early, I sat in the car and watched a family walk through a maze of headstones trying to pick one out at a Memorial and Engraving shop which was located just down from the church. I wondered about their story, the person they were looking for.
I thought about the experience after the wedding as well and hoped for a story of long-lasting love and a life-long commitment for the couple who said their; “I do’s.”
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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a Visit
a Visit –
Last night, before letting the dog outside for its last chance to do some business my wife asked me if I could bring two Christmas Cactuses in the house. The temperatures were supposed to be dropping into the 30’s and she wanted to make sure they weren’t harmed. I grabbed the flashlight and opened the door. The dog ran out quickly and grabbing the first of the Christmas cactuses to bring inside I was handing it to my wife when a small bird flew out of the pot and into the house. My wife surmised this wasn’t a situation she was comfortable with feeling certain the bird wanted to nest in her hair and bolted for the living room. I picked up two mesh hats and tried to corral and capture the scared and fast-moving critter. It wasn’t easy but after a few moments, I noticed it kept heading back to the door where it came in. I propped open the door and was able to guide it to the opening and away it flew. “Whew!” Way too much excitement for that late at night.
As I chased the bird around the kitchen, mud room, and laundry room I wondered how ridiculous I looked trying to catch a bird, without harming it, with two mesh caps and my obvious lack of speed and agility. I also reflected on the unpredictability of life and how we can find ourselves so quickly in a situation we wouldn’t have dreamed of before it happens to us. Then, without warning, the unexpected comes swooping into our lives, and we are forced to deal with it.
Life is many things but none of them are boring. Thankfully, the troubles and challenges also, sooner or later, take flight and we’re left to ponder; “What’s next?”
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Undercover
Undercover –
I was talking with a friend this week about the different masks we wear when we go different places. There’s a work mask, family mask, friend mask, public mask, and somewhere, often buried deep is our true authentic ourselves. The problem is that we become so accustomed to wearing masks we never take one off for too long or risk showing the world who we are under all the fantasy. The conversation continued and we wondered if any of the illusions we create could eventually lead us to allow others to see the genuine person.
The conversation continued and we wondered if any of the illusions we create could eventually lead us to allow others to see the genuine person. We are so accustomed to hiding the “real” us, the person we think people won’t like, that wearing masks become our default and our defense.
The question becomes how do we break free of this habit of wearing masks? Overcome the fear of our authentic selves not being good enough? How do we begin to discover who we are when concealing our true identity has been our goal for most of our life? This is the reason we are here now, the journey we are meant to travel, the discovery, not of a lifetime, but of life.
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes
but in having new eyes.”
#MarcelProust
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Cleaning or Fixing
My face has several areas of dry skin. I try to keep it moisturized but often, during the day, these areas become flaky again and need more lotion applied. To this end I keep moisturizer at home, work and in the truck. The last few weeks, however, when driving around, I’d notice a dry spot reach for and apply the lotion but after putting it back in the holder somehow there would be moisturizer on my pants, the steering wheel, cup holder, floor board and I couldn’t figure out what was happening. Finally, yesterday, I noticed there was a crack in the bottom of the white lotion tube. I didn’t see it before because the lotion and the plastic are the same color. Once I spied it, the messes made sense. I grabbed some duct tape (one of the greatest inventions ever!) and fixed it.
Shaking my head and laughing at my confusion I wondered why I hadn’t seen the crack before. The simple answer was because I never looked for it. I just cleaned up the mess and kept going. I reflected on this and wondered how often we just keep cleaning up the messes that spill into our lives without ever checking to see to where they come from? We get so used to habits, hurts, hangups and learning how to live with them. What if, instead of cleaning the mess, we fixed the problem?
blessings,
BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
