Blog Archives
Forgetfulness
Forgetfulness –
He forgot! That was his excuse, his reason for not being in the place he told me he’d be. I was on time, early actually, and waited. After a while, I began to wonder if I got the date wrong so I checked my phone calendar and I was on time, in the right place. Several moments passed and I texted him and waited. After a while, a text came back which read; “I’m sorry! We won’t be able to meet tonight. I told others and forgot to tell you.” I took a deep breath as frustration washed over me but didn’t last long. He forgot. I forget. There are times I’ve missed appointments and have let someone down. He didn’t do it on purpose. I knew him well enough to know he would’ve told me if he had remembered. I turned the key to my truck, put it in drive and left for home. Soon I was lost in thought driving down a road and had forgotten the whole situation. The next day he was in contact with me again trying to make things right. There wasn’t anything wrong. He had forgotten, I knew how he felt, and I’d moved on as did he.
People make mistakes. No one is perfect and yet sometimes we beat ourselves up or others for making mistakes. If we are honest we know mistakes happen and will keep happening. We do our best not to make them often and forgive others as, hopefully, they have and will forgive us.
For more reflections, posts, and other writings, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
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Perspective
Perspective –
I was talking with a friend recently who believes in Bigfoot. My friend is intelligent, philosophical, pragmatic and practical. When I found out he was a believer in Bigfoot I was surprised. At one time he was an avid outdoorsman and through his study and interviews with other people has been convinced by Bigfoot sightings and other evidence. When we talked about it I told him I didn’t believe in Bigfoot. There simply isn’t enough proof that people have seen what they think they saw or that the “evidence” is purposefully or accidentally being misinterpreted. However, I always make this caveat with my friend. “Just because I don’t believe in Bigfoot doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.”
Wisdom teaches us to be careful about our beliefs. Too often we want to force our convictions on another and convince them to think like we do. The first step on the path of wisdom is the truth that we know nothing. It is the first and only place to begin and exist. Wisdom is a paradox. The more we know, learn, practice, the more we don’t know.
We live in a world full of people convinced they see reality “as is” and if you don’t see it their way you’re wrong! Religion, politics, cultures, ethnicities, separate us into groups and life becomes about “us” and “them.” Maybe, if we listened attentively, spoke softly, and held our fragile beliefs as bubbles ready to pop any time and open us up to a world we didn’t even know existed, we’d celebrate humility instead of hubris.
For more writings, articles, and posts, please visit: http://www.thewannabesaint.com
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
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Out of Outrage
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Out of Outrage –
This week I read two articles about people being outraged. One was about the singer, Carrie Underwood, mentioning in a magazine that she was thirty-five years old and that she might be too old for her and her husband to have a lot of children. Fertility rights activists (who knew there was such a thing?) voiced their outrage on Twitter and in other online forums wondering how she could dare make such a statement. The other was about Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson going with his wife and daughter to an aquarium. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and other animal/marine life defenders accused the “Rock” of supporting the harming and captivity of these underwater creatures. Let’s not forget the daily outrage of Trump supporters and never Trump supporters over almost everything the president does or doesn’t do.
Honestly, I need a break. I’m can’t handle all the outrage, negativity, vitriol being spewed out on, it seems, everyone and everything. A woman muses about the difficulty of having a lot of children at her age and a dad spending the day with his family at an aquarium is controversial? It’s as if we are looking for more reasons to be upset and ticked off at things. There are enough bad, evil, wrong, people and events in this world right now that should elicit legitimate outrage. We don’t have to search for more.
If we are outraged at everything then we are outraged at nothing. It is nothing but angry voices screaming at each other and no one hears, nor cares to, what the other is saying. Instead of getting upset and angry about everything, choose what really matters to you and do something about it. If you make a list and a thirty-five-year-old country singer and a movie star are on the top of your list? Maybe you should think harder.
For more posts, reflections, poems, and other writings, please visit:
http://www.thewannabesaint.com
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
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Anchors
Anchors –
Today I participated in a class which is teaching those attending about the importance of car seats. It is an in-depth look at this important safety product. One wouldn’t think there’s a lot to know about car seats and how to put them in correctly but one would be wrong. My brain was frazzled with terms, mechanical processes and the different laws and rules. One of the things I learned is that there are hidden latches and anchors on many vehicles which car seats are to be attached to for them to be as safe and secure as possible. Even if you can’t see the anchors there are symbols and signs to alert you of their presence.
After the class dismissed today I began reflecting on the “anchors” in our lives. Often when life turns upside down, runs into trouble, leaves us stranded and lost we can feel discombobulated and adrift in unfamiliar places. In these moments and seasons, we need people and truths upon which we can anchor our life. This wisdom, family, and friends keep us grounded, help us remember what’s important and not forget that which makes life worth living.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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In Memory of
In Memory of –
This is a strange holiday for me. It’s not strange in the sense that I don’t understand it or think it necessary but strange because I did not serve in the armed services nor lost a loved one while in military service. I don’t know what it’s like to charge up a hill with my unit, share foxholes with people who I depend on for my life, find the courage to carry out orders that put my life and others in danger and know not everyone is coming back from the mission. I don’t know what it is to get a knock on my door, a phone call, by servicemen or women to inform me a loved is not returning home. I can’t imagine the pain, heartache, loss, or pride that comes with Memorial Day.
I once served on a staff with a war veteran and we liked to talk politics, history, and war. He had seen action in the military while I sat in the safety of a university classroom. We’d have conversations about the justifications of war. I’d voice my opinion that Christians should follow Jesus’ example and be pacifists, opposed to all violence and then he’d tell me when and why I was wrong. I didn’t agree with everything he said about the military, nation-building, and protection but I was also humbled and silent as he spoke. I understood that he had served, put his life on the line for us to disagree and still be friends, still call ourselves by the same name; Americans.
“The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”
#AbrahamLincoln #GettysburgAdress
Blessings & Thank you,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Part of the Journey
Part of the Journey –
This morning, driving down the interstate, I witnessed two aftermaths of car accidents. The first one was a car that had gone off the highway, up a hill, crashing into a big road sign. There was police personnel on the scene frantically trying to get the doors of the car open to attend to the injured. Not too many miles and minutes later I saw two Fire Department trucks crossing an overhead bridge and taking an on-ramp to the interstate. My question as to “why?” was answered a mile or two up the road when I spotted a pick-up truck, sitting on the side of the road, engulfed in fire! There was no one in the truck but the flames were high, bright orange and the situation was becoming dangerous.
Aside from praying for those involved, I reflected on the reality that none of the people involved, especially the drivers and passengers, woke up this morning and had these incidents on their agenda. I wondered how far down the list of “ways this day would go” until they got to these experiences.
Wisdom teaches that we cannot know or determine what we will encounter on the road of life. There are days when everything works out perfectly. Others when everything seems to go wrong. Most days are somewhere in the middle. No matter what happens, however, we are taught, and hopefully, learn to accept, it’s all part of the journey.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Where You’re Going
Where You’re Going –
This morning, at a community group for dads, I talked with the men about the importance of “Putting First Things First.” It’s a concept which deals with knowing what’s truly the most important things in our lives and using those as a framework for how we live. When you know what’s important then every decision is made according to your paradigm, your life’s mission statement. If a decision is made that does not fit the schematics of who you are and who you want to become you make it right. Otherwise, you are traveling in the opposite direction of where you need to go.
Everything we do, walking the road of life, involves passion, energy, and time. We have limited supplies of all three. We have to choose how we are going to use them. Our life is a list of the things we do and deem important. The more items on our list the less passion, energy, and time we have to give each item. The fewer items on the list the more we have to give.
This is why knowing what’s important, where you are going, is a must. It allows us to make sure some items remain on our list, what important, and eliminate the unimportant. Direction is easy once we decide where we want to go.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Frustration
Frustration –
This morning I had an early appointment in Nashville to being a training. I put the address in my GPS app on my phone and off I went. It took me to the exact spot I’d entered into the phone but there was one problem, it was the wrong address. It took me a moment to realize my mistake until I literally got to the end of a dead-end road. Argh! I felt my frustration starting to grow. Instead of being 30 minutes early I was going to be late. I checked the address again, realized where I made my mistake, and set off in the right direction. Trying not to let my anxiety rise to a harmful level I turned on a three-lane road and stopped at a traffic light. I was in the far right lane, an SUV in the center lane, and a sports car in the left lane. I heard yelling and realized it was the SUV driver and the sports car driver having a road rage episode. I couldn’t make out much of what they were saying and the words I could understand I don’t dare repeat.
I sat there listening and watching the living embodiment of frustration out of control; testosterone, anger, and vitriol spewing out of both of them. It made me take stock of my mood and I realized it wasn’t worth getting upset over my mistake and to let it go. I did, arrived at the training on time and am thankful for the lesson two men out of control could teach me.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Right or Wrong?
Right or Wrong –
This morning I watched a political debate that quickly turned into a shouting, insulting, “I’m right and you’re wrong” diatribe from both parties. It’s disheartening to look at our present cultural landscape and realize not many people know how to talk to each other about things upon which they disagree.
One of the lessons I teach residents in my jail class is how to respect each other even if we disagree. We talk about eye contact (which may be while social media is the worst place to have a meaningful conversation), asking questions politely, consider your body language, what to do with your hands, monitor facial expressions, remember that listening is not agreeing and two people can be right or wrong about one subject. It amazes me that my jail students are often nicer, more respectful when discussing a difficult topic than many people on Facebook.
Hopefully, it won’t be this way forever. Debate and deep conversation are some of the values and pillars of a democratic society. I fear, however, perhaps we’ve gone too far and may never recover our civility.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Nothing is Lacking
Nothing is Lacking–
I was a part of a conversation this week where a group of people was giving a person advice. The advice was based on what the person had shared; a story of love and betrayal. On the wrong side of a bad choice is a terrible place to be and the person was fixated on how to either get over on the person who hurt him or get over it period. Two choices were staring him the face and he was going to choose either one or the other.
Decisions based on pain are almost always bad ones. We make these in times of stress, confusion, doubt, and loneliness. We feel as though we have lost something, had it taken away from us, and we want it back or rather life back the way it was or the way it should be.
Wisdom teaches us that suffering is the gap between how life is, reality, and how we think life ought to be. The greater the gap the more suffering. It is why learning to let go and acceptance are two of the greatest life lessons we can learn and practice. Life is rarely if ever, the way we want. Even if for a while it seems to be sooner or later it changes and we have no control over this truth. To live with open hand, to not try to grasp, force life to stay the same and allow for the inevitable change is to know and live in peace.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Often Wrong, Never in Doubt
Often Wrong, Never in Doubt –
This afternoon I watched an episode of a Netflix six-part series on greed called; “Dirty Money” (http://collider.com/dirty-money-trailer-netflix-alex-gibney-martin-shkreli/). The series exposes a few of the most corrupt people and companies in the world.
The episode I saw today was; “DRUG SHORT.” It’s an exposé on Wall Street short-sellers and how they exposed a scam that regulators often overlook, mainly how Big Pharma gouges patients in need of life-saving drugs. It was heartbreaking and infuriating as it made the case that when Wall Street and pharmaceutical companies partner together corruption is sure to result. Greed, profits are why drugs can jump up in price from $15.00 a pill to thousands of dollars. Bottom line it’s about how much money is made for the companies and investors.
During the documentary, someone described another person as; “often wrong but never in doubt.” I’d never heard that phrase before but it’s stuck with me. I’ve wondered how often it pertains to me and to others. In the documentary is referred to investors and the difficulty of playing hunches in the stock market. It also included the companies and their desire to grow bigger by taking risky partnerships with unscrupulous people.
I reflected on our world and how many of us are so sure of our opinions and we never consider another’s point of view. We provide litmus tests for others’ beliefs and if they fail we shake our heads and move on to someone else who’s more like us. I heard another phrase this week that I’d heard before but it was no less potent and true; “If you’re the smartest person in the room. If everyone in the room agrees with you, you’re in the wrong room.”
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Hubris
Hubris –
Hubris – excessive pride or self-confidence. synonyms: arrogance, conceit, haughtiness, hauteur, pride, self-importance, egotism, pomposity, superciliousness, superiority.
I watched a webinar today hosted by an esteemed professor on the role of genetics in the development of humanity both culturally and individually. It was an interesting presentation and clearly, the man was intelligent and dogmatic in his proposal. It didn’t take long, however, to realize the man was also proud of himself and said more than once; “This is the way it is and there is no other way.” He even went as far as to insinuate that if a person thought differently they were clearly not his equal.
This attitude has always rubbed me the wrong way. The thinking and feeling of someone else that they are superior to others. While it is true individuals may have more learning in certain areas than others it is usually because the other hasn’t put the time into the subject as another not because they are; “smarter.”
I’ve worked with and for leaders who have shown hubris, pride, arrogance. I’ve also worked with and for leaders who are humble. I have family and friends who fit both these descriptions. And, to be honest, I could rightly be accused of hubris on more than one occasion.
It’s an easy path to walk, the way of self-importance and self-indulgence. A wise person once told me; “Ego breeds ego.” In other words, no one wins when egos clash, but the fallout always brings pain and difficulty to many lives.
But I know that today many seek their way gropingly and don’t know in whom to trust. To them I say: believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it. #AndreGide
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Abundance
Abundance –
To be unselfish is the key to abundance. To not hold on to anything, desire anything, be covetous of anything or anyone. Abundance comes from being content and this comes from acceptance of all life brings our way.
Too often we see the lives of others or review our own lives and wish they would have turned out different brings suffering. These illusions only lead to pain and heartbreak. What we have received is only temporary. As hard as it is to accept this world only gives us transient treasures and trinkets. Whether it be people or things, our inability to control when and how they leave our lives is a lesson we need to learn.
Only eternal gifts last. When we are given them we may hold on to them as tightly as possible but to do this we must let go of what we hold dear that is not eternal. Transience is not evil. To love those who bring wonder, kindness, and love to our life is not wrong. However, it is a bittersweet connection because it is temporary. While this is painful to know and experience it also makes every moment more treasured.
Most of our lives are full of abundance but knowing they are not ours forever is the test of true life, true love, true wisdom.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Disapointment
Disappointment –
A friend contacted me with some disappointing news today. Nothing life changing but something I wanted to happen but didn’t.
It’s hard not to take disappointment personally, even when it isn’t meant to be. Disappointment has a way of worming itself down into our souls and whisper words of discouragement.
There’s nothing wrong with being disappointed when you have wanted something to, or not to, happen but its imperative that you don’t stay too long. Being in the dark place of disappointment can lead to despair. De·spair dəˈsper/ noun 1. the complete loss or absence of hope. This is where we don’t want to be led by disappointment and discouragement.
It’s okay to be down for a while but sooner rather than later you must let go of both the thing you wanted and the discouragement of not attaining it. This is often much easier said, written, than doing but allowing the spirit to settle, the voices of disappointment to silence, and the realization that you are alive, on the path and disappointments, like everything else, fade when you live presently.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Stuck
Stuck –
Yesterday afternoon I loaded the pick-up truck with the household garbage we keep in a covered area outside. I placed two bins in the back and another bag shut the tailgate and headed to the Refuse and Recycling Center. When I arrived I hopped out the cab, walked to the back, let the tailgate down and something furry jumped out at me! That’s not what happened but it’s what looked like was happening when the deceased mouse (pictured) plopped down on the tailgate when it lowered. “Whoa!” I screamed, initiating a strange look from another person who was throwing away garbage also.
As I looked closer I saw that it was a dead rat. I emptied the bin and discovered he was trapped by a hole in the bottom of the trashcan. He had wiggled his entire body out with the exception of his hips and hind feet. He died trying to escape the trash he willingly entered into. I used a piece of wood to pry him out of the hole and a thick piece of plastic to grab him and toss him in the dumpster.
As I drove away I thought about the choices each of us makes; good and bad, right and wrong, positive or negative. I tell the men I work with; “The choices you make today determine the man you will be tomorrow.” I also speak with them about how there are some choices which drastically impact them and those they love and care about. “Once you make certain decisions you forfeit the ability to be a good man to those who need you be that the most.”
Each of our actions has consequences. We must be careful not get stuck by the choices we make.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Pauses and Spaces
Pauses and Spaces –
I worked with a dad today who struggles with addiction issues. He kept repeating the Twelve Step oft heard phrase; “Pause and Pray, Pause and Pray, Pause and Pray.” It is the addict’s response if they’re tempted to drink, use drugs, get angry, make poor decisions. They are to take a breath and then breathe a word of prayer for peace and guidance.
I use the phrase; “The space in between.” Life is made up of experiences. We’re blind to most of them because we’ve become used to them, take them for granted. There are times however when an experience happens and our choice of what to do or not do, how to react, make the wrong, right or better choice could greatly impact our lives and the ones we hold dear. It is in the space between what happens to us and our choice of how to respond where our future is forged.
Whether; “pause and pray” or “the space between,” we choose to shape the experiences of our lives or be shaped by them.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Either Way
Either Way –
It’s hot outside today! I finished mowing and weed eating our yard around 1pm and was soaked with sweat and covered with grass clippings. I grabbed a bottle of water, a towel and sat in a lounge chair in the shade to cool off. As I sat there wiping off my arms and legs, between guzzling water, a Red Wasp landed on my arm. At first I just felt a slight tickle but when I looked down and saw the Wasp I was immediately faced with two choices. One; hope it decides to fly away on its own and two; give it a nudge. For a split second I thought about which was the best idea then, choosing the second option, I went to flick it away with my finger and missed! I waited for the inevitable sting but luckily, the wasp simply flew away. I’m not sure if I chose the best option. I certainly didn’t execute my decision well by completely missing the wasp!
Wisdom teaches us there are situations and circumstances life brings our way and we have to make a choice, hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. If pain is a result of our decision it doesn’t mean we were wrong, it means sometimes pain is involved no matter what we do.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesain.com
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Good and Bad
Good and Bad –
Earlier this week a link to an old style entertainment wrestling video appeared in my Facebook feed. I recognized the wrestler and I admit succumbing to the temptation to click on the link. Watching it I was taken back to my childhood and enjoying these entertainment wrestling shows. My parents weren’t fans so my brother and I made sure they weren’t aware of what we were filling our brains with on the boom tube.
These wrestlers were incredible. They wore flashy clothes, had muscles everywhere, took a beating, kept on going and most of the time the good guy won the match. One of the reasons I liked wrestling as a kid was because you knew who the good and bad guys were by the way the dressed, talked, wrestled (good guys never cheated) and behaved in and outside of the ring. As a kid these were real life heroes and villains fighting for right and wrong, good and bad, justice and injustice every Saturday. Back then I didn’t know it was a lot more entertainment than wrestling. As I grew up I came to realize it was athletic acting, a male dominated, sports soap opera.
Someone asked me a few days ago who they should vote for in the upcoming presidential race. “Both candidates have tremendous flaws! As a Christian, how should we vote?” I shook my head and simply said; “I think you should pray.” “About who to vote for?” they asked. “No,’ I replied, ‘I’m not sure as a Christian you can, with a Holy conscience, vote for either one. But you can pray.”
The older I get the harder to tell who the good and bad people are anymore. Our world is so full of mixed signals, compromise and confusion. I don’t think its going to get any better. Prayer, humility, serenity of spirit is what it takes to survive and hope in times and seasons such as these.
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
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Public or Private?
I have to admit, I thought this was funny and inside of me an attitude of; “that’s what the driver deserved!” It’s a needed lesson for this young man and couldn’t be easy to learn in such a way with many people looking on, laughing, cheering, yelling at him.
I then thought; “what if all my mistakes were so public? What if every time I made a bad choice, a wrong decision, it was being recorded and a put on large display, which made everyone look at me, see my lack of wisdom and knowledge?” I wouldn’t like it. I would be embarrassed. I would hopefully never make the same misjudgment again but the shame of how I learned would be with me for a very long time.
A wise sage once said; “Praise in public, correct in private. This is how wisdom is best gained.”
blessings,
@BrianLoging (Twitter)
thewannabesaint.com
Essentialist 